Authors: Charlee Allden
“For not being able to hold her?”
“No,” said Relerin. “For her fear. He believes she might have been less afraid, trusted him more, if he had been a better mate to her. His duties kept him from her a great deal.”
Lily shook her head. “Why are you telling me this?”
Relerin smiled. “He has sacrificed much for us, but sometimes the needs of the warrior are the needs of his people.”
Lily frowned. She didn’t have the patience for riddles.
“You’re a courageous woman, Lily Rowan. That is what he needs. I want you to know that you have my full support and that of my mate. We want Jolaj to have what he needs.”
“I think you have the wrong idea. I’m working with Jolaj to stop the murders. After that I don’t expect to see him again.” The thought settled as a ball of sadness in her chest.
Relerin turned to watch the other adults as they played with the children. “Tasst hopes Jolaj will choose one of his daughters as mate. He’s always wanted to bring Jolaj’s bloodline together with his own, even before the ban on lab-based genetic engineering.”
Lily’s heart stuttered. “He introduced Jolaj to his sister?”
Relerin nodded. “And he worked on the genetic engineering program.” She looked down at her hand. She slowly flexed her wrist and extended her claws. “Ironically, the things we engineered for were not the things to save us. It was our natural ability to
slip
that allowed us to escape our dying world. Tasst still has trouble allowing nature to take its course. Following the natural order often leads to The Way.”
The room began to spin. Lily’s vision blurred. She’d stopped breathing when those claws had captured her attention. Lily closed her eyes and counted the seconds in her head. When she could breathe normally again, it seemed hours had passed, but it had only been seconds. “I think I see where you’re going with this. You think encouraging the natural attraction between humans and Ormney will lead to a better solution to your problems. A bit of a leap isn’t it?”
Relerin folded her hands together in her lap. “Following The Way often requires a leap of faith. The concept is also common in human religions I believe.”
“Yeah. I suppose it is.”
Lily didn’t know what to think of what Relerin had told her. She turned it over in her head, unsure if the councilor gave a damn about Jolaj or if she wanted to use him. Lily was still trying to figure it out when Zee returned to ask her to join in the food preparation. It was oddly like standing in her aunt’s kitchen. She might not be much of a cook but she had lots of experience following instructions.
She stood, chopped vegetables to be served in a raw salad as Zee tossed the freshly chopped ingredients in an herbed dressing.
Zee tilted her head as she watched Lily. “You look as if you’ve done this often, yet you don’t strike me as the sort of woman who would spend a great deal of time preparing meals for a family.”
Lily hesitated before slicing downward into a ripe tomato. She briefly considered answering that her skills with a knife had little to do with cooking and everything to do with her job as a Deepwater agent. For Jolaj, she thought, she would wear her best manners, no matter how much they chafed. “You’re right. I don’t usually bother cooking for myself, but I grew up in a neo-trad household.”
“Preparing meals together is one way we keep our families strong,” said Zee. “We had hoped you would arrive earlier while everyone was working together.” Her tone was cordial, but scolding lurked at the edges like a moldy crust on bread.
Zee allowed a small pause before continuing. Lily let the silence stand unwilling to explain or apologize for the precious time spent in Jolaj’s arms.
“My son prepared a lovely strawberry and mint cake and Tasst allowed the younger children to help in preparing the meat and pastry dish so we could leave this simpler task for you.” She smiled, seemingly unaware of the slight she’d delivered. “The children enjoyed the opportunity.”
They both returned to their tasks for a moment.
This time Lily searched for something to say to fill the void, something conversational and appropriate. “My cousin’s boys love to cook. They’re a little younger than your youngest.”
“Of course, Agent Rowan. You are closer to our eldest child’s age than to the adults of our generation.”
Was this a dig at her relationship with Jolaj and their age difference? Well, Zee would have to work a lot harder to get a reaction from her. She was far too used to her mother’s less veiled insults.
“Your children are wonderful,” said Lily, meeting her eyes. “Estus looks very much like you.”
Zee looked away, absently stirring the dressing. “I owe you my thanks for helping Jolaj with her earlier.”
Lily smiled and continued slicing.
“Jolaj is still young enough to father his own line,” said Zee.
That thought did rattle Lily. It made her heart ache a little. “He would be a wonderful father.”
“We’ve been trying to convince him to choose a mate for years. There are many young women of age now. Any family would favor his interest over one of the younger men.”
Lily laid the knife to the side and wiped her hands, tamping down the mix of jealousy, sadness and anger that boiled like a noxious stew in her belly. “I’m sure you're right.”
“We sent our own daughter away this evening. We still have hopes he might choose her and it would trouble her to see the attention he pays you.”
Lily glanced to where Jolaj played with the children. So strong, so patient. Zee was right. He was a catch. She swallowed, searching for a way to excuse herself with grace, but Zee forged on.
“There are others like Jolaj. Men who have gone long without a mate. He’s a leader among them. Where he leads they will follow.” She gave Lily a hard stare. “We can’t afford the trouble this sort of behavior will cause. If you have any decency you’ll—”
“Zee!”
Jolaj’s strained voice startled Lily. She’d been like a soldier with one boot on a live mine, unable to move out of the line of fire.
Jolaj strode closer, moving to stand between her and the older woman. “I cannot believe you would speak this way to a guest in your home. A guest here at my request. A guest who selflessly serves our people at this difficult time.”
Jolaj hadn’t bothered to keep his voice down. She’d never heard him speak anything but softly. His tone now was not at all soft or calm. The angry rumble drew the attention of everyone in the room.
Lily rested a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I’m sure this comes from her concern for you. It’s okay, honestly.”
Jolaj reached for her hand and carefully intertwined his fingers with hers. “You are more gracious to my family than they have been to you. I’m sorry, Lily.”
He held Tasst’s gaze. “I’ll take Lily home.”
When Jolaj had insisted they leave the night before, Lily had been embarrassed and relieved at the same time. She didn’t want to come between him and his family, but she didn’t want to waste a moment of what time they might have together either.
She lay, curled on her side, in the middle of Jolaj’s bed. The sun was making an appearance along the horizon in a brilliant orange-and-red sunrise. Jo lay behind her, pressed close along her spine, his hands stroking her hip in a soothing caress. Less soothing was the sharp edge of his teeth as he scraped them across her shoulder. The sensation tingled through her, waking up all her nerve endings.
She shivered and stretched, rubbing against him. “You like space.”
“Space?”
“You like to have a lot of room. Your bed is huge. Your bedroom is missing a wall.”
His chest expanded and contracted against her back then the cooler brush of the air as he rolled away. “In the last years before The Crossing, the surface of our planet had become unsafe. We lived below ground.”
“I can see how that would make you appreciate the open sky.” Lily remembered how the Ormney had turned their faces up to the rain storm. She faced him.
“And space,” he added. “The underground was always meant to be temporary. The Council thought it best not to squander resources or time in the construction or expansion of private quarters.”
“It must have been difficult to live under those conditions.”
He’d been through so much. All of the Ormney had. She couldn’t imagine it. Jolaj pulled her into his arms and Lily savored his warmth as she snuggled close.
“Those times are past.”
There was something tense and anxious in his voice. Lily pushed up, resting a hand in the center of his chest, to look into his face. “Jo...?”
He frowned as he met her gaze. “There is talk among those who favor isolation as a means of keeping our culture intact.”
“Talk?”
“Some say that we should build a city beneath your vast oceans. Others talk of reinstating the Searcher program.”
A knot formed low in Lily’s belly. “How serious is this talk?”
Jolaj reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Her heart skittered a bit but quickly settled. He slowed the motion, letting his hand settle on her neck. His touch seemed to refuse to give any ground. He wouldn’t let them take a step back and Lily was glad.
“The isolationists speak very seriously about such things,” he said, “but they are a small minority. They had little influence until recently. The surge in anti-Ormney sentiment frightens many. They fear we will have no choice but to hide away or leave if things do not change.”
The situation had been tenuous since the arrival of the Ormney. Twenty years and they were still forced to live behind a wall and subject to curfew. She’d never given it much thought before. It was just the way things were.
“I guess I can see why your people might be worried. The talk of restricting everyone to The Zone, day and night.”
“It is a step back for us, but hiding away is not the answer.”
“And the Searcher program? Would that mean you would have to go back to that?”
“It would be expected.”
She laid back down, turning her head to lay her cheek on his chest. “Do you miss it? The adventure of it? The sense of doing something important?”
The muscles of his abdomen went taut beneath her hand.
“No,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “No. I hated it.” He brushed the back of his fingers along her jaw. “The deep dark is a cold place, Lily. A man does what he must for his descendants but eventually the cold will take your life and steal your soul.”
“It must have been terrible facing that over and over again.”
The darkness that had shuttered his features lifted, desire warmed his eyes, and a slim smile tightened his lips. “Each time I touch you I know it was worth it.”
But she couldn’t give him descendants that meant everything to him.
He reached down, wrapping a hand around her thigh, and pulled her body over his. His hardening cock nudged intimately against her and she let her fears slide away. Her breasts pressed tightly against him. Every breath that expanded his chest sent a pleasurable spiral of sensation from her nipples to her womb.
He lifted his head and pressed his lips to hers. She met him eagerly. The passion and need in his kiss made her head spin. It went on and on as he tasted her in small sips and deep, mind-numbing gulps. She could get lost in kissing him, but the arch of his body beneath her made it clear he didn’t intend to settle for kisses, mind-blowing or not.
Lily shifted then pushed back as he lifted his hips. His hands went to the dip of her waist, pushing her farther onto his cock. She stretched in pleasure, but he held tight, not allowing her to sit up or put even an inch of space between them.
Together they rocked in a shallow motion that created a delicious, ceaseless friction for both of them. It was a self-inflicted torture that would never bring them release. It was slow and intense and as much about his arms holding her close as it was about the orgasm hovering just out of reach.
She trailed kisses along his jaw and tasted the salty skin of his throat as he thrust into the wet heat of her again and again. His arms loosened and when she stayed wrapped closely around him, his hands began to wander across her body. He stroked the line of her spine, the curve of her hips. He stroked along the backs of her thighs, exploring the place where their bodies joined and trailed his fingers along the curve of her ass.
As his hands clutched at her, finally urging her to take him deeper and harder, she tightened her arms around him and held on. The future would have to take care of itself. For this moment he was hers and there was nothing but the pleasure. The pleasure building fast and intense until they flung themselves over the edge.
Curfew would lift in the space of an hour and Lily had to face reality. For a few hours she had allowed herself to set aside the grief of her sister’s death, but it couldn’t be set aside for much longer. Somewhere in the city, another person was waking up, free to go about his day. Another day of freedom for her sister’s killer.
Jolaj got up and brought Lily her freshly laundered clothes. He kissed her gently then urged her to dress.
“We have company,” he explained. “Friends.”
Lily quickly pulled on her things as Jolaj pulled on a tunic and trousers of a soft jersey.
Jolaj made a melodic sound that wasn’t quite a whistle and wasn’t quite speech. In seconds, a half dozen figures solidified in his rooftop garden. They were all male. All from Jolaj’s generation. Most kept their positions at the far end of the garden. One stepped forward. He wore a simple unmarked jersey tunic and trousers. Subtle shades of gray striped his features, but his eyes were a striking silver. He wore his shoulder-length dark hair loose around his face.
He dipped his chin to her then Jolaj. “It is true. You go against the Council to bring us closer to the Earth’s children.”
Lily suspected his statement wasn’t far from what Zee had been dancing around the night before, but the way he said it sounded a lot more polite and there didn’t seem to be any malice behind it.
“Kertu, my friend,” said Jolaj. “This is Lily Rowan, a friend to the people and deserving of your respect.”