Deadly Wands (25 page)

“You were willing to raise someone else’s
child?”

“Well, I never expected to have kids, yet I
cannot deny her children. It’s bad enough her husband is gay. I’m
shocked she’s stayed faithful. I’ve told her to find someone
discreet. She is, after all, French. She has been wonderful to me,
and I’d do anything to make her happy.”

“Would another child make her happy?” Billy
asked quietly.

George gripped Billy with surprising strength
that really hurt. Even with one leg, George was still a
warrior.

“Sorry, uncle. That was out of line.”

“You’re too young to think of such
things.”

“Actually, Susan’s great-granddaughter,
Emily, already gave birth to my first baby. My dad ordered me to
have as many children as possible, as soon as possible, so the
Mongols cannot exterminate our line.”

George groaned sadly. “Marie actually told me
to give her more children, or she’ll return to the front lines.
They both got wounded during that Mongol offensive a year ago. I
can’t sleep when she fights. Somehow, her death scares me whereas
my own does not.”

“Ask her, then. No one else need ever
know.”

“Then why do I want to shove my wooden leg up
your ass?”

“I don’t know, uncle. Maybe you’re gay.”

Marie and George Jr. embraced Billy.

"Wow! The Red Baron!" Junior couldn’t believe
the Baron would spend the night in their home. His neck looked
burned and he held his arm funny. "All of Europe is talking about
you. Can I get a video with you doing your dance? Please?"

Billy laughed, popped into the air, and
showed his four burning wands while his mother recorded her son in
the background.

"I know some ladies who’d like to meet you,
Mr. Baron," Marie said with a knowing smile.

"I’m flying with you to England tomorrow, but
if they look anything like you, then I'd love to meet them
tonight."

Marie laughed, hugging her gay husband. She
still loves him, Billy realized.

Once inside, George gathered them close. "We
have a family secret to share with you, but if you tell anyone, the
Mongols will kill us. Remember the stories of my niece, Elizabeth?
This is her only child, Billy. The queen and my brother John
murdered his father, so Billy killed them and put my brother
Richard on the throne."

The news stunned them. The Red Baron took off
his helmet to reveal a thirteen year old orphan. They both looked
disappointed, and once again it pained Billy to look his age. His
baby face shined through his facial scars.

"How can you be the Red Baron?" Junior
demanded. “You’re no older than me.”

“You’re a week older, actually.”

"But the Baron is old. We’ve all seen the
videos.”

"That was my father, who was a real baron in
Prussia. Our family used to rule Bohemia.”

“Tell them about the gold,” George begged
Billy.

“Oh. I gave George a ton of gold because he
helped my parents meet. The rest of his team split several tons so
they won’t return home broke."

Marie interrupted. “A ton of what?”

George laughed. “Gold, my love. We are
officially a toner.” Meaning they were worth a ton of gold.

Billy dumped his backpack at their feet. “I’m
also giving away ten gold kilos to every blood relative. I had them
specially re-melted.” He took out a golden cube and lifted it into
his cousin’s arms. It weighed him down like a guilty thought.

“This weighs more than my armor!” little
George said, rejoicing rather than complaining.

Marie still couldn’t believe their change in
fortune. Just a year ago they were all about to die. "You’re a
prince, again?"

"Yes. My brother is king and my lands have
been restored. All thanks to Billy."

“Try these,” Billy said to Junior, handing
him a set of powerful wands.

The boy popped up in the air and fired his
hand wands four meters out.

“These are amazing. Where did you get
them?”

“I took them from a dying Mongol millennial.
They are yours on the condition that you practice every day. The
lives of your family may depend on it.”

Marie caressed the gold block like a baby’s
face. She looked ready to cry.

"I fought without pay, so we've accumulated a
bit of debt," George informed Billy with classic English
understatement.

"Marie, I’ve started a body armor factory in
England. Uncle George has agreed to operate it for ten gold kilos a
year, if you are willing to move to London.” She squeezed him so
hard he could barely breathe. "You are now Lady Marie, King
Richard's sister-in-law, while you, cousin, are Sir George, the
king's nephew."

“How can I ever repay you, Billy?” a joyous
Marie asked.

“I’m sure you and Uncle George will think of
something,” Billy answered cryptically, looking hard at the gay
husband.

CHAPTER 31

Billy had his bank buy food and drink by the
ton. Few people did well under Queen Margaret, so Billy wanted many
to prosper under King Richard to cement his rule. He had been
shipping in thousands of cattle from the Americas and virtually
drained France of wine. Billy wanted to stun England with the
magnitude of the free feast he was giving away in the king’s
name.

The thousand tons he loaned the king created
thousands of jobs building roads, bridges, ports, schools, and
hospitals. The ship full of coin paid for pre-planned towns around
his new factories and shipyards. Instead of just lending, his bank
brought shares into England’s strongest companies, and employed
most English quads.

Few knew such prosperity was even possible,
and most looked at the new king with adoration, admiration, and
awe. The English grimly joked that they should have killed the
queen years ago.

Then the heroes came home for the king’s
first anniversary. The battalion that suffered official banishment
to keep Paris free landed to a standing ovation in the stadium that
Billy expanded in London. There the king gave a powerful speech,
praising what they did and why they did it; introduced every hero
by name to the cheering crowd; gave them a key to the new home that
Billy built them (most had already moved in); levitated huge
buckets to literally shower them with all the gold they earned the
past year (they had to empty their bank accounts to do this); then
had them kneel to officially knight them. Their knighthoods meant
everyone would publicly address them as Sir or Lady for the rest of
their lives. Most were peasants, so their sobbing brought the
audience to tears.

The king now singled out his brother George
and recounted how he remembered him growing up, his lonely years of
bravery fighting Mongols, and the loss of his title, lands, and
leg. To ecstatic applause, his team dumped literally a ton of gold
coins on him.

George then gave his own speech, telling his
personal story, the battles they fought, the adventures they had.
He reminded the nation that too many of these rich heroes were
still single. Finally, he told everyone how the Red Baron saved
him, his family, his troops, Paris, and Free Europe.

Then tents were suddenly unfolded to reveal
the families -- English and French -- of those who didn’t survive.
The king and prince carried backpacks full of coin and dumped them
in front of the shocked families.

The next day, every city would show videos
from the stadium for people to watch at the free feasts they
thought the king provided them, along with an announcement that
King Richard would soon host a celebration at Buckingham Palace to
honor the heroes.

Instead of meeting the king somewhere
convenient, like in his palace, Billy insisted on George's lakeside
cabin, which pissed his grandfather off even more. Elated at seeing
his brother again, Richard was furious to learn that he had to plan
a huge festival.

Billy wasn’t sympathetic: "Just assign it to
the leading rich socialite and give her a kilo to cover expenses.
You need to personally introduce George, Marie, and Junior to those
who matter. This will help stabilize the country, legitimize your
rule, and give the gossips something to talk about besides me."

“Then you better not attend. I’ve convinced
most of the country that you’re a figment of over zealous
imaginations.”

As if he could afford to be seen in public.
He couldn’t wait to leave England. “Emily and I plan to visit
mama’s family in Ireland. Anything you want us to tell them?”

“Tell them to stop fighting or I’ll invade
like my mother always wanted. The Irish bicker over such petty
grievances! I’ll not tolerate my kids killing each other!”

Except briefly under Emperor Brian Boru five
centuries before, no Irishman ever controlled the entire island.
Instead, dozens of tribes, peoples, and kingdoms fought each other,
striving to be recognized as the High King of Ireland. Waves of
Norse, Danes, Normans, Vikings, Welsh, Scottish, and English washed
upon Irish shores, only to assimilate over generations. And for
centuries before that the Irish interbred with waves of Celts.

In his twenty years of virtual exile in
Ireland, Richard spurned his mother’s desire for conquest to build
his own native power base. Instead of fighting the so-called New
Irish, Old Irish, New English, and Old English, much less the
Scottish earls and lords his mother and grandfather installed,
Richard formed alliances across the island. He bred with the most
powerful, regardless of beauty, status, or tribe, so today his
children were the best quads on the island. Unfortunately, that
also meant any fighting would inevitably involve them.

The irony must have hurt. If he had but done
as his mama asked, his children may now be governing a united
Ireland instead of perpetuating endless violence.

"Speaking of children, who will succeed you
when you die? Your illegitimate children, your gay crippled
brother, his French son who can't speak English, or me -- the only
legitimate son of your only legitimate daughter?”

“What’s your point, boy?”

"My great-uncle tried to kill me because of
succession fears. I’d rather not go through that again. You have
thousands of descendents. Give the top contenders high office. The
fastest way to see someone’s true character is to give them great
power. When you find the one with the experience, temperament, and
judgment to make the best ruler, then marry his mother or
grandmother to make him legitimate.”

It took all of Richard’s self-control to not
slap the crap out of his impudent grandson. “If you must know, I
plan on marrying Susan and designating my oldest son, Richard, as
my heir. Although they don’t know it yet.”

Billy literally applauded the decision before
reaching into his backpack to hand his grandfather a gold block.
“I’m giving every blood relative ten gold kilos. I wanted to give
you yours in person.”

Instead of handing them gold, most of them
would simply find a digit added to their bank balance.

The king stared at the golden cube in his
hands. Something so small should not weigh so much. Elizabeth used
to give her daddy the best damn hugs in the world -- her elopement
left him inconsolable -- yet Billy chilled him. Then he does
something like this. And he never met anyone who gave off so much
energy. The air practically crackled around him.

“I executed the quads who murdered your
father,” was all he could think to say.

“Thank you and you’re welcome. I noticed that
you haven’t paid any interest on the thousand gold tons I lent you
last year. I’m buying a lot of property, so you can simply credit
the taxes I’ll owe against the interest you owe me, since I’m
skeptical you’ll pay my interest on time, but will collect taxes
the moment they’re due.

“You can repay the favor by helping American
Jack transition a few million Americans on their way to Africa to
take extraction operations from the Mongols. If you keep track of
your expenses, I’ll have Global Bank reimburse you.

"Oh, Uncle George will manage my new armor
factories and steamship shipyard. I want to make a quarter-million
suits equal to the red one you gave me. If you give him the
government help that he needs, we’ll give your air force discounts
if you buy in bulk."

“I’ll not have a damn boy tell me what to
do!”

Billy just laughed, slapped his beefy arm,
and got up to leave.

"That's the spirit, grandpa! I’ll be
England’s largest private employer; almost your entire family works
for me; and you owe me a thousand tons.” He laughed literally out
the door. “But I’m just a boy you don’t have to listen to.”

In Ireland, Billy organized a summit of his
grandfather’s descendents at the legendary Hill of Tara, the
historic seat of the High King. The man-made mound, 318 by 264
meters, was built three thousand years before by the only people
that everyone agrees was true Irish. On top stood the Stone of
Destiny -- which resembled an impressive rock-hard penis -- by
which the High King was crowned. Given the constant historical
infighting, the Hill of Tara represented the political and
spiritual capital of Ireland. While the king who controlled Tara
never controlled the island, no one could claim Ireland without
Tara.

Everyone wanted to see the kid who wiped out
Prince John’s hated family, so reporters from around the country
flew in.

Emily had given birth to the cutest boy Billy
had ever seen, and would soon be pregnant with another. She had
everyone surround the mound. Billy dropped from above and, at
optimum height, used four wands as one to blow a massive crater
that exploded the Stone of Destiny into a million pebbles. The
sacred monument disintegrated, smacking the horrified reporters
like shrapnel. A moment later he fired again and excavated a crater
that defied imagination. It was many times larger than what they
assumed was humanly possible. Once their bodies filled the hole,
Billy hovered over them to introduce himself.