Dearest Rose (44 page)

‘I’ve called an ambulance,’ the police officer said, kneeling beside her. ‘Just hold on a minute more.’

‘No,’ Rose’s voice shook but she was adamant. ‘I’m not going anywhere. My dad is sick.’

‘I think we’ll let them take a look at you, anyway,’ he said, examining the graze on her cheek.

‘I’m fine, really,’ Rose insisted, just as the barn swirled around her and all the lights blinked out at once.

‘I’m not going to hospital,’ Rose insisted as soon as she came to again, certain that, despite the sharp pain in her neck and blurred edges that still surrounded her vision, she didn’t want to see the inside of a hospital ever again. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Hmm.’ The female paramedic who had arrived shortly after Richard had been escorted by a policeman into another
ambulance
, shone a light in her eyes. ‘Well, I can’t make you come with me, if you don’t want to.’

She glanced up at Jenny. ‘Keep an eye out for signs of concussion. If she’s sick or incoherent then take her to hospital immediately. And let the police take their photos and a statement. Make sure this goes on record, at the very least.’

‘That’s what I said,’ Jenny said, peering at Rose, who was propped, much to her shame, against a barrage of cushions on the sofa, her father sitting in his armchair, staring anxiously at her. ‘But she won’t have it.’

‘I’m fine,’ Rose said. ‘Really. I’m just glad it’s over.’

‘It’s not that over,’ the young policeman, PC Brig, said uncomfortably. ‘Your husband is saying you assaulted him, that it was unprovoked.’

‘Well, that’s a wicked lie!’ Jenny insisted immediately. ‘I was there, I saw it. I’m a witness!’

‘Which is why you need to let us take statements, collect evidence. I strongly advise that you press charges.’

‘Talk to them,’ the paramedic said kindly. ‘You should at least put what happened on record, even if you don’t want to take it further. I see this all the time, too much: the woman just wants it all to go away, the man ends up getting it all his own way. Show him now that you mean business, otherwise he’ll just keep coming.’

Rose glanced over at Maddie, who was sitting on the arm of John’s chair, her arm around his neck. She had yet to approach Rose, as if she was scared of touching her. Instead she sat staring, no doubt trying to take in what had happened, what her father had done now. These were conversations that Rose did not want her daughter to hear; she’d been through enough today.

‘I will,’ Rose promised, looking at PC Brig. ‘But not now,
please
. My little girl … I am fine, honestly.’ She turned to John. ‘I’m so sorry, this is the last thing you need now.’

‘If I could have got out of bed …’ John said, his face set with fury. ‘I felt so weak, so useless. Maddie was the one who knew what to do. Maddie called for help.’

Maddie said nothing, still staring at her mother as if she were trying to take it all in. Rose held out her arms to her, but Maddie stayed where she was.

‘Thank you,’ Rose said to Jenny. ‘For everything you’ve done for us. Since we got here, I mean, not just today. But really, thank you for coming, especially when … well, after what happened. If you hadn’t have come … I really do thank you from the bottom of my heart.’

‘Hmph,’ Jenny said, pursing her lips. ‘Never could stand a bully.’

‘Hello?’

Rose looked up to see Ted’s head appearing round the front door, his expression a combination of shock at the drama, the number of official personnel, and embarrassment. He clearly wasn’t too sure how Rose would take to seeing him, and honestly neither was she.

‘I just got your message, Mum, I’m sorry.’ He looked at Rose. ‘Can I come in?’

Rose nodded, dropping her gaze as he came into the room, just as the paramedic was packing up her bag.

‘Here comes the cavalry,’ Jenny said, ‘about an hour too late. Still, never mind.’

‘It was on silent!’ Ted said guiltily, unable to look at Rose. ‘Did you call Dad?’

‘Yes, and his was on silent too, no doubt,’ Jenny said. ‘Doesn’t matter. We handled it, didn’t we, love?’

Rose nodded, still unable to believe that she had somehow found the physical strength to lay Richard out on the floor. She glanced at Maddie, wondering if she knew what Rose had done, and that was why she was reluctant to come to her. What if Maddie was afraid of her too?

‘He was about to hit me – me, your mother – and this one,’ Jenny pointed at Rose, ‘she just picked up this massive lump of timber like it was a matchstick and –’

‘Jenny,’ Rose said, nodding at Maddie.

‘Here, Maddie,’ Ted said, fishing his car keys out of his jeans pocket. ‘Go to my car and look in the glove compartment. I’m pretty sure there’s a Mars bar there. You can have it if you want.’

‘Thanks,’ Maddie said, taking the keys without enthusiasm and then handing them back to Ted. ‘I don’t really like Mars bars, but I don’t mind going upstairs for a bit and looking at my book if you want to talk about things without me.’

‘Oh, Maddie,’ Rose said, trying to sit up and then regretting the impulse as the room swam around her, annoyed that Ted was trying to manage a situation he’d had nothing to do with, ‘you don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to.’

‘I do want to,’ Maddie said, sliding off the kitchen chair. ‘I’m tired.’

‘Maddie?’ Rose stopped her. ‘Are you OK? Everything that’s happened, it’s a lot to take in.’

Maddie eyed her for a moment longer. ‘I’m fine,’ she said.

Rose watched anxiously as she clumped slowly up the stairs, her head bowed heavily.

‘I’ll go up,’ Jenny said. ‘Keep the little mite company for a bit. She might chat to me.’

‘We’d like a word too,’ PC Brig said, catching Rose’s
expression
. ‘Not now, when she’s ready. Just need to get all the angles.’

‘Right,’ the paramedic said. ‘I’ve got to go. But, I’m serious, if it gets worse go to hospital. And don’t let whoever did this to you get away with it.’

‘Thank you,’ Rose said painfully. ‘I appreciate your help.’

‘I could sort him out for you.’ Ted paced behind the sofa. ‘I could, you know, have a proper word. With my fists.’

‘I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,’ the policeman said. ‘Look, if the hospital lets him go, there’s not much chance we’ll be able to hold him tonight. I don’t think he’ll come back here – he’s not an idiot, he’s already trying to make out he’s the victim – but just keep an eye out, OK?’

Ted saw them out while John and his daughter gazed at each other across the small space between their chairs, their expressions mirroring one another as they took in the full extent of each other’s injuries and ailments.

‘I’m not the one who’s ill,’ Rose said brightly, unable to bear to look on her father’s face. ‘This is so silly. There really is no need for all this fuss.’

‘I did this to you,’ John said. ‘It was my neglect that pushed you into the arms of a man who would …’ he faltered, unable to say the next words out loud. ‘I can’t bear it. I can’t bear that I put you through this.’

Rose watched him silently for a moment, wishing she could say that none of this was his fault, but she couldn’t find a way to do that, not even for this man who she had slowly begun to love again. They both knew how different her life would have been if John had been there, and there was no point in pretending otherwise. Instead Rose told the truth.

‘I don’t suppose I would have got married at eighteen if I’d had parents around,’ she said slowly. ‘But this is my life, Dad, and it was my choice to marry Richard. I knew, somewhere, in some tiny part of me, right from the start, that something wasn’t right with me and Richard. It was just that I had nothing to compare it to, and to be honest I didn’t want to hear those doubts. I wanted to be married, I wanted to be in a family, I wanted to be safe. And I could have left him. There were a hundred times I could have left him and didn’t because … I didn’t have the courage.’ Her voice broke as the realisation of what she had so narrowly escaped broke over her. ‘Not even today. I thought I was strong now and I was free. But I wasn’t. I gave up. I gave up fighting him off and if Jenny hadn’t come he would have … In those few seconds I was willing to go back to how everything had been just to save myself. I wasn’t brave at all.’

‘You are a remarkable young woman,’ John said, his jaw set. ‘More brave than anyone in this room.’

‘Then why don’t I feel it?’ Rose wept into her hands, her tears hot and painful. ‘Why do I feel like he’s won, again?’

‘Rose,’ Ted crouched down before her, touching her arm, which she withdrew with a flinch, unable to look at him. Ted stared at his spurned hand and then, seeing the expression of stony disapproval on John’s face, stood up, backing away to what seemed like a safe distance.

‘I need to say how sorry I am,’ Ted said unhappily, looking anywhere but at Rose. ‘How really, really sorry I am for the way I behaved, the things I said, the way I tried to …’ He faltered, remembering how he’d tried to make Rose kiss him, only now realising exactly why she’d been so repulsed by his
clumsy
advances. ‘I’m not like him, Rose. You do know that, don’t you? I was hurt and stupid and wrong and a liar, but I would never … I’m not like him, and I’m so, so sorry.’

‘Sorry for what?’ John asked, determined to be the one to step in this time.

‘Nothing much,’ Rose said sharply. ‘Something that got blown out of proportion.’ Finally Rose looked at Ted. ‘I know you are not like him,’ she said. ‘You frightened me, though, Ted, and you lied about me. You were the first man I’d met that I thought I could trust, and you lied about me.’

‘I hate myself,’ Ted said miserably. ‘I do.’

‘I can see that,’ Rose said, her will to be angry at Ted in the midst of everything else crumbling easily away. She looked at him. ‘It wasn’t all your fault, and really I’d rather just forget about it, if that’s OK?’

‘Thank you,’ Ted said, and then seeing John glowering at him added, ‘Look, you might not like this idea, and I know the last time I saw you I behaved like a bit of a dick, but anyway, I’ve decided, and I won’t change my mind. I’m going to stay on the sofa tonight, make sure that you lot are OK; be on standby in case he comes back.’

Rose was uncertain about having Ted stay the night after everything he’d done, and yet it would be reassuring to have him here. The police officer didn’t think Richard would come back, and a sane man wouldn’t, but Rose wasn’t sure what little, if any, sanity Richard had left.

‘Thank you, it would make me feel better, knowing that you are here.’

‘Good,’ Ted said, looking relieved to have this chance to make amends. ‘Great.’

‘What’s this?’ Jenny said as she came down the stairs. ‘What are you planning, Edward?’

‘I’m staying the night, that’s all,’ Ted said. ‘To keep an eye on them.’

‘Well, if you’re staying, I’m staying to keep an eye on you,’ Jenny said. ‘I’ll have the sofa, you can have the chair.’

‘Mum …’ Ted began to protest.

‘Don’t argue with me, young man, I’ve decided,’ Jenny said, crossing her arms.

‘Neither of you has to stay,’ John said, clearly resenting this well-meaning invasion of his home. ‘I can take care of my daughter.’

‘You couldn’t take care of a kitten,’ Jenny said with the same characteristic bluntness that fortunately John appreciated. ‘We’re staying and that is that. I’ll just call my Brian and let him know, else he’ll think I’ve run off with the cowman again.’

It was some time later, whilst Jenny was settling Maddie to sleep, and John had nodded off in his chair, that Rose found herself more or less alone with Ted again for the first time since the incident in the annexe. Neither of them spoke. Rose was really at a loss as to what to say to this young man who’d both become a friend and wrecked her dreams within a matter of days.

‘You must hate me,’ Ted said suddenly, unable to look at her, his voice tight with emotion. ‘For trying to make you kiss me like that, like that … that animal did. I knew you’d been through something awful, something dreadful to make you so afraid but, Rose, I never guessed it was that. And now I know I’m no better than him. No wonder you hate me.’

‘I don’t hate you,’ Rose said softly, leaning forward a little
towards
him. Her neck was still sore, the back of her head and cheek were bruised, but her head felt clearer now, at least. ‘I don’t have the energy to hate anyone any more.’

Ted shook his head, hurriedly wiping away the tears that had sprung to his eyes, keen that Rose shouldn’t see that he was crying.

‘Ted,’ Rose said, making him look at her, ‘you are a million times better than him, a gazillion. Yes, you behaved like a moron, but you’ve been so kind to me too. If anything, I’m at fault. I shouldn’t have let things go so far between us when I knew that I couldn’t fall for you. You got tangled up in the problems of a very confused and stupid woman.’

‘You really can’t feel about me like I do about you?’ Ted asked her earnestly, his dark eyes fixed on her so intently that Rose almost wished that she could, almost thought that perhaps if she tried the feelings might come eventually. But if life had taught her anything it was to listen to that small quiet voice that told her when something wasn’t right for her, no matter how perfect it might seem.

Rose shook her head, a tear of regret sliding down her cheek. ‘I’m sorry.’

Ted nodded, turning his face from her for a moment, as he took a breath.

‘But we could try being friends again. I know I need one of those now. And so does Maddie.’

‘I never ever thought it would be me getting the let’s be friends speech,’ Ted sighed ruefully. ‘But friends it is then. Look, do you want me to have a word with that Frasier, tell him how things really were between us?’

Rose shook her head. ‘I think that door has rather closed,’ she said. ‘It’s probably for the best.’

‘Yeah,’ Ted said sadly. ‘You’re saying the words out loud, but your face is telling another story. You’re still hurting for him. Trust me, I can spot the signs.’

Rose didn’t bother denying the truth. ‘Well, if it wasn’t meant to be, what can I do?’ she said. ‘I’ve got far too much else to think about now than a man. I’ve got Dad and Maddie, and making a life for myself here. And honestly, even if what happened with Frasier does hurt, it is better this way. It’s about time I was my own person.’