Dearest Series Boxed Set (39 page)

S
omeone is stroking
my head gently.

I’m cold. Freezing. And my mouth is dry. I want to reach down to pull up a blanket except when I do more than breathe, every muscle in my body cries out.

My chest radiates with fear. Why does everything hurt so much?

Opening my eyes, I stare at the face that’s been haunting me for the past two and a half months.

“Am I dreaming?” I swallow and wince at the pain in my throat.

Jax smiles weakly. “I wish you were, Dani.”

The rhythmic beat of machines pulsing draws my attention.
I’m in the hospital.
The memory of what happened comes flooding back to me.

Jax pulls away and runs his hands through his shaggy dark blond hair, leaving it sticking up at odd angles. I close my eyes, eager to shut out his magnetic presence.

He sighs, letting the air whoosh from his lips. “I am so sorry. For all of this. Shit, I almost had a heart attack when I realized what happened. And seeing you on the pavement like that. Fuck.”

Despite my exhaustion, I struggle to look at him. The usual don’t-give-a-damn glint in his eyes is gone, replaced with worry.

I lick my dry lips, but I don’t have enough moisture in my mouth to accomplish anything.

“Here.” Jax gets up and pours me a cup of water out of a pink plastic pitcher. He hands it to me, and I try to smile in appreciation. I can’t drink it yet because my whole body aches, and it takes me moment to catch my breath. Finally, I take a sip. I’ve never tasted anything so good before.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks. His blue eyes crinkle in the corners. His lips are tight.

I nod slowly and then let my head rest on the pillow, too tired to do more than convalesce. A silence yawns between us.

Finally, he asks, “Why did you tell the cops this was your fault? I know you saw me on the phone.”

Because I have a huge-ass crush on you? Because I want to have your babies? Because I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we met?

I stare at him, realizing that while those sentiments are true, they’re probably not why I did it.

“I heard you and your friend talking.”

“My roommate Nick?”

“I guess.” I take another sip of water. “I heard what he said about you getting in trouble with your coach, and I didn’t want to be the reason you got kicked off the team.”

Jax frowns and looks at me like I’ve sprouted an extra head. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” I laugh a little, but it hurts, and I groan. “Don’t make me laugh.” I take a couple of deep breaths until the pain subsides. He’s sitting so close I can smell his gorgeous cologne, which is crisp and clean. “Your sister always talks about how you’re supposed to go pro and how you have scouts at all your games. She’s really proud of you.”

He scoffs, and it’s funny to see doubt on his beautiful face.

“Anyway, I didn’t want to screw that up for you.”

The silence between us is thick. Jax tilts his head up and stares at the ceiling for at least a minute. “Well, shit.”

I’m taken aback by his intensity. “Don’t think so hard about this. Let’s just chalk it off to the fact that I hit my head, okay?”

His mouth pulls up into a crooked grin. “I might fucking love you right now.”

My eyes widen, and I’m sure I’d be blushing right if my circulation was working properly. “If love nearly gets me killed by your Beemer, I’d hate to see what hate gets me.”

He barks out a laugh that makes me jerk back, and I smile once the pain of that sudden movement subsides.

I start to look around the room, and when I see the clock, my heart sinks. “Oh my God. I can’t believe it’s so late. Where’s my phone?”

“The nurse put all of your stuff in a bag. Hold on.” Reaching over me, he grabs a plastic sack that says “patient” and hands it to me.

I slowly root around in the bag until I find my phone. I have messages and texts from my mom, Travis and Brady.

Jax tells me he’s going to track down some dinner for us. I don’t bother listening to the messages. I just dial home. My mom picks up on the second ring.

“Danielle, shouldn’t you be on a plane right now?”

Tears prick my eyes. “Mom, don’t freak, but something happened. I’m okay, but…” My voice trails off as I fight to not cry.

“Tell me everything. I won’t be mad. You’re on the phone and alive. That’s all that matters.” Her voice is cool and calm. I love this about my mother. In a crisis, she’s amazing.

“I kind of got hit by a car, but I’m okay,” I say over her gasp.

Twenty minutes later, when Jax walks in, I’m a mess.

“Shit, Dani. What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

I’m crying into my hands, every sob transporting pain throughout my body. I keep my face covered. “I promised my mom I’d be home for Thanksgiving, but I missed my flight, and everything is sold out.” The last few words sound more like hiccups. “She was really sick last year. She had cancer. And I haven’t seen her since this summer. And…”

The bed sags as Jax sits on the edge and leans over to hug me, making me cry harder. “I’m sorry, babe. This is my fault.”

I cry into him until the tears run out. I cry until my heart can’t take it any longer. Tilting my head back so I can wipe off my face, I see how wet his shirt is.

“You’re going to drown if I don’t stop crying.” A shudder runs through me.

“Come here. Don’t apologize.” He wraps his arms around me again, and he smells so good, so fresh and sexy. He’s warm and comforting, and for a minute, I forget about my flight home.

I snuggle into him, relishing his muscular chest and how nice it is to be pressed up against him again.

And then it hits me.
I’m snuggling with Jax Avery.

My heart starts beating furiously, and an alarm goes off next to me. Jax pulls back, and we look at each other. A second later, an older nurse scurries in and presses a button, making that horrible sound stop.

“Honey, you all right?” She shoos Jax off the bed before she pulls back the neck of my gown to check the leads that are taped all over my chest, and then she gives me a once over, surveying me for signs of distress. “I’m Charlotte, and I’ll be your nurse tonight.” She checks the heart monitor and turns to me. “You need to stay calm. I don’t know what has you all riled up,” she says, looking to Jax, “but you can’t get so excited.”

“Sorry. I was upset about not being able to go home for the holidays.” That sounds so much better than “I was so excited Jax had his hands on me.”

She pats me on the hand and gives me a sympathetic smile. “Of course. Well, at least you have your cute boyfriend to keep you company.” I start to tell her we’re not together, but she cuts me off to talk to him. “You’re a lucky guy. Danielle is gorgeous. And what a smile! You two make an adorable couple!”

My mouth falls open, and I stutter, trying to find words to clarify my relationship to Jax, but the smirk on his face stops me, as do his next words.

“She is gorgeous.”

The alarm goes off again, my heart rate racing. The nurse laughs, and my face heats up. “I should have known you were the reason.” She clucks at Jax as she walks around my bed and turns off the alarm. “I’ll be back in half an hour to give you your pain meds. Until then, no more alarms.” She points at Jax, who holds up his hands like he’s innocent. His charm works, and my nurse grins and walks out.

Jax’s attention shifts back to me, and I look down. God, that was embarrassing.

Picking up my phone, I scroll through my texts, ignoring Jax’s stare. It takes me a few minutes to focus on anything besides how much I miss his warmth in this cold room. But when I read Brady’s text from this afternoon, the reality of where he and I are headed comes crashing back to me.

“I’ve met someone.”

I groan. Those three words fill me with such doubt.

The rest of his text is worse. “
I wanted to let you know. To see if you felt any differently about us.”

Am I doing the wrong thing in letting Brady go? I’m sitting here enjoying Jax’s attention, but just because he’s flirty and sweet doesn’t mean he likes me. Brady
actually
likes me, and he
actually
wants me to be his girlfriend.

Jax taps me on the arm. “Your heart rate is spiking again. I don’t want Charlotte coming back and busting my balls.” When I dare a glance at him, his beautiful blue eyes look concerned. He nods toward my phone. “Message from your boyfriend?” He sits forward in his chair and rests his elbows on his knees.

“Oh, Brady? No. He’s not my boyfriend. Not really.” I rub my face. “Or not anymore. I don’t know.”

“Is it because of you or him? The reason why you’re not together.”

I bury my attention in my lap. “Uh, because of me.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while. “So you broke up with him?”

Shaking my head slowly, I say, “No, I didn’t break up with him. You have to be together to break up.”

Jax seems to think about this for a minute. “But he wanted more?”

“Yes. But I didn’t feel right about it.”

“What do you mean?”

My lips purse as I think of how to explain. “Brady knew I didn’t feel that way about him—I was honest from the beginning—but he still wanted to give it a shot even though I’ve been trying to get over someone else.” I don’t look up. I can’t. I’m afraid Jax will see straight through me. But it feels good to get this off my chest in some small way. “Anyway, I think he gave up because he texted that he met someone, and I was about to write him back when you decided to add some excitement to my afternoon and run me over.”

Jax doesn’t laugh. “What are you gonna tell him?”

I rub the side of my head where a swollen lump throbs. “To go out with her. That I want him to be happy.”

“But you don’t sound excited about it.”

My shoulders slump. “In my heart it feels like the right thing to do—to let him go—but I’m upset with myself for not moving on, for not being able to try things out with Brady, because he’s been a great friend despite my hang-ups, and I know he cares about me.” I sigh, my fingers fidgeting with the strip of medical tape that binds the IV to my wrist. “But if he found someone, I don’t want to be the reason he can’t be with her.”

“Even if it makes you unhappy?”

When I look up at him, I’m struck by how we can have this conversation even though there’s so much between us that Jax doesn’t even know exists. But maybe we can be friends. Maybe this is what I should have wanted with him all along. And I guess friendship starts with honesty.

“Do I want Brady—who’s become a great friend and is totally gorgeous—worshipping at my feet because I can have him there? Because having his attention would be good for my ego? That sounds pretty shitty to me. I may suck at relationships, but at the very least, I can be a decent person, a decent friend.”

“Is he that guy I met? The one with all the tattoos?”

I nod, thinking about how Brady consoled me while those two girls threw themselves all over Jax.

“He seemed really into you.”

Another sigh escapes me. “I know.”

I only wish Brady were the one I wanted.

S
he’s so fucking cute
. I know I shouldn’t be staring at her while she sleeps, but my chair is two inches from her bed, so I blame the layout of the hospital furniture.

Dani’s hair is pulled into a tangled ponytail. The pink streaks make her seem like some ethereal creature rather than a girl. I don’t get how she can look so stunning when my two-ton vehicle plowed into her a few hours ago.

A hand grabs my shoulder, and I flinch. Turning around, I see Nick. “Jesus, you scared me.”

“Sorry, man.” He has the good sense to whisper so he doesn’t wake Dani. Nick grabs another chair and sits next to me. His eyebrows are knitted tight on his forehead. “You’re so lucky that girl said this was her fault.”

“She has a name, dickhead.”

He rolls his eyes. “Well, I told Coach
Dani’s
version of what happened, and I think you’re going to be okay.”

“Who gives a shit about that? I almost killed her.”

He looks at me like I’m a whack job. “Yeah, I caught that. I was there, remember? Don’t be an idiot and say you don’t care this situation almost got your sorry ass kicked off the soccer team your senior year, right before the championship game.”

I don’t say anything. It’s pointless to argue with Nick. He eats, sleeps and drinks soccer twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. He doesn’t get why I don’t care about it anymore. But if I’m being honest, I haven’t cared about anything in a long time. Sure, I’ll have great games—I push the fuck out of myself—but it’s all muscle memory, like my body is propelling itself toward this goal because it has nothing else.

“Shit, dude, you could have been arrested,” he says.

Okay, that would have sucked.

Nick runs his hand over the stubble on his chin. “Can we go now? I brought her stuff.”

The reaction in my gut is immediate. “I can’t leave her.”

His expression evolves from shock to frustration. “What about the trip? The guys have already left.”

I shrug. “So go. No one is stopping you.”

“But you paid for it.”

As if I care. “No worries. Enjoy.”

Nick shakes his head at me like I’m some screwup. We sit there for a minute, and I watch the IV drip into Dani’s arm. He motions toward the bed. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah. Nothing is broken. Just a lot of bruising and swelling. Maybe a strained tendon in her knee, and you know that hurts like a bitch. They wanna keep her tonight to make sure the swelling doesn’t get any worse, but it looks like she can go home tomorrow.”

“Okay, so why don’t you join us once they release her?”

I stare at him like he’s a dumbass. “She lives in a four-story walk-up. All of her roommates have gone home for Thanksgiving, and Dani’s from Chicago. I can’t ditch her.”

He raises his hands, his question evident.

“I thought I’d bring her back to our place for a few days until my sister gets back from her trip.”

At that, his eyebrow tilts up.

I huff out a frustrated breath. “Get that fucking look off your face, Nick. She’s a friend. I. Ran. Her. Over. I don’t think looking out for her for a couple of days is that outrageous.”

But this is the strangest part… I get the feeling she’d do the same for me.

* * *

D
ani talks in her sleep
. It’s more of a mumble, but it’s endearing nonetheless. At one point she opens her eyes, and when she sees me, a huge smile breaks on her face. “I’ve missed you, Jax. I wish you’d remember.” Her eyelashes flutter shut, and she whispers, “You’re so pretty.”

I chuckle as she snuggles back into her covers. Later, she tells me something about visiting with the Cookie Monster. Yeah, the nurse gave her some serious drugs before bedtime.

In the morning, I wake up half hunched over her bed. I try not to groan as I sit up because I know the sore muscles in my back are nothing compared to what Dani is going through.

That’s when I realize I’ve been sleeping close to her injured leg. My head jerks to look at her. She’s already awake.

“Shit, Dani. I didn’t mean to collapse on your bed like that. Did I hurt you?”

“I’m okay.” She smiles as her eyes pass over me. “You have a waffle pattern on your cheek from my blanket.”

My fingers reach up to find criss-cross indentations on my skin. I grin. “Adds to my charm, no?”

She rolls her eyes at me and laughs.

“How long have you been awake?” I ask as I stretch to try to regain some circulation in my extremities.

“Half an hour maybe.”

The door swings open behind me and a new nurse shuffles in.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Danielle. I’m Carol.”

Dani returns the greeting, but she suddenly looks sad. God, it sucks she’s stuck here. I wish I could get her home.

Carol checks her vitals and rushes in and out of the room a few times. Finally, she returns with a clipboard.

“I have some good news. The doctor is pleased with your recovery so far, and since you had a great night and responded well to the meds, you get to go home today.” She pauses to frown. “You must be a pretty healthy girl to begin with. Are you an athlete? My guess is you’re a runner.”

Dani shakes her head slowly. “I used to be a gymnast, but it’s been a while.”

“Well, you’re in great shape, so I bet you’ll be up and about in no time. That knee of yours might hurt for a little while, but at least you can recover at home. Do you have anyone who can help you? You’ll need a hand to get around.”

“I, uh—”

“Yeah, she’s staying with me. I’ll take care of her.”

Carol’s face squishes around her eyes as she smiles broadly. I turn to look at Dani and notice her mouth is hanging open.

“Jax, I—”

“You’re staying with me over break until your roommates get back.”

“Wonderful,” Carol says, turning back to Dani. “I need to show you how to put on your brace and clean up your cuts.” She shuffles around and brings over some supplies and shows me how to apply the different meds. It’s hard to watch Dani flinch in pain as the brace gets strapped on, but she’s a trooper and never complains.

The nurse taps her pen on Dani’s leg. “Only use this brace if you’re moving around for the first few days. It’s better to keep it off to maintain circulation. So while you’re kicking back on the couch eating some Thanksgiving leftovers tonight, just brace your leg with pillows. Once the swelling goes down, you can keep the brace on longer. And don’t forget that you’ll need to see the doctor in a week.”

Carol turns to me while she clicks her pen. “All right, son, if you’re taking care of her this week, you can get started by getting her dressed while I finish her paperwork.”

Dani’s eyes widen as she stares at me. Guess we’re letting this boyfriend charade go on a little longer. Fine by me.

The nurse leaves, and I walk over to Dani’s luggage.

“Jax, you really don’t have to do this. I know I can’t make it up all those stairs at my place, but I can stay at a hotel for a few—”

“No way.” I place her bag on the edge of her bed. “Don’t argue with me.”

She nibbles her lower lip. “Don’t you have a trip to go on or something? I thought, I thought you were going with those girls.”

I stop moving, frustrated with myself for being such a royal dick last weekend and trying to make her jealous. Turning toward her, I wait until her eyes meet mine. “The trip isn’t important, and neither are those girls. In fact, I was in the middle of canceling plans with them when our accident happened.” I run my hand through my hair. “Trust me when I say that this is the least I can do after you saved my ass yesterday.” I unzip her bag. “Okay, what do you need? Maybe sweats and a t-shirt? That’s a big brace, so I don’t think you’ll want jeans. You can clean up when we get back to my condo. I have a huge tub, and you can take a long bath.”

She grabs my hand. “Thank you. You’re… so sweet.”

My chest somehow constricts and expands at the same time. I laugh. “Yeah, well, we’ll just let that be our little secret.”

I help scoot her to the edge of the bed. She winces and groans a few times, but we take it slowly until her toes hit the floor.

“I take it you like pink, huh?”

She giggles, the sound somehow making me feel lighter. “How can you tell?”

“Hmm.” I stare down at her feet, which are remarkably pretty. “Hot pink toenails, pink tips in your hair… and that room of yours looks like a bottle of Pepto-Bismol exploded.”

She’s wrapped in my arms as I get her to balance against the bed, but she pulls back to look at me.

“When have you seen my room?”

“I’ve only seen it from the living room, but the color is hard to miss.” I just like giving her a hard time. Her room is actually covered in art with graffiti-like pieces everywhere. She’s fucking cool as shit.

I reach down to help her pull up a pair of sweatpants under her gown before I grab a t-shirt. “The Cure?” The fabric is soft, like it’s been worn a million times.

“Don’t you dare give me shit about The Cure.”

She looks so serious that I laugh, making her smile. “All right, Dandelion, why don’t I turn you so that you’re facing the bed? You can brace yourself with your uninjured leg, and that way we can drop your gown and pull on your shirt without me getting an eyeful. Not that I mind, but I’m trying to be a good guy, which, as you know, is not my forté.”

She gets a playful look on her face and nods. I reposition her to face away from me and she shrugs, letting the gown fall. At first, all I can do is stare at that beautiful tattoo, but as my eyes travel across her bare skin, I freeze.

“Jesus.” My hand reaches out to touch her before I even realize what I’m doing. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Angry purple and black bruises cover her shoulder, back and hip, disappearing under the fabric of her sweats. Her head tilts slowly.

Dani’s voice is soft, reassuring. “Jax… I bruise easily. I’m okay. I might be little, but I’m pretty tough.” She swallows. “Now help me get dressed before I flash an orderly.”

I don’t know how she does this, tries to make me feel better when this was my fault. I clear my throat, needing a minute.

“Trust me, it would make his day,” I say, trying to get my shit together.

She laughs, and I relax a little, enough to admire her lean frame.

I hold the shirt above her head and help her maneuver it on. When she’s dressed, I turn her back to face me and pull her hair out from the collar of her shirt.

She may have just been hit by a car, but fuck, she’s gorgeous. Her face is free from makeup, and she’s got that banging girl-next-door thing going on that has me wishing she weren’t my sister’s roommate.

I start to pull away when she grabs my t-shirt and pulls me to her until her head rests on my chest. My arms automatically go around her, and my nose buries in her hair. She smells like apples, like spring, like possibility. This seems so familiar that I practically choke on the feeling of déjà vu.

Dani whispers, “Thank you,” and I’m struggling to say something when the door swings open, and Carol waltzes back in.

“Aw. Aren’t you two so cute?”

We pull away from each other. I look at Dani and grin, enjoying the pink staining her cheeks.

Yeah, she should definitely stay with me.