Death by Proposal (12 page)

“Sounds
like he was being protective of her,” said Cindy.

“Protective
or overly involved,” Wendell murmured.  “Of course, I didn’t approve of Kate
searching so quickly. But, there was no stopping her. I saw her at her computer
night and day, talking to different guys.”

“Are
you sure they were different guys?” Cindy felt alarmed.

“No,
I’m not sure,” said Wendell, “I just assumed they were.”

“You
didn’t ask her?”

“Never,”
said Wendell, “I just saw her there, desperate. Believe me, I can feel it when
someone is desperate. I lived with it all my life. Kate was desperate.”

“Did
you know that she’d actually met a new guy, Clay?” Cindy asked, frightened for
Kate now.

“No,
I didn’t,” said Wendell, tapping his fingers together. “I was even more
horrified to learn that she’d taken a trip like this with a stranger. Of course
as soon as I heard that, I knew trouble was coming. She barely knew this young
man; the trip had to be doomed. I knew the loneliness would hit her again. And
most likely it did.”

“You
seem so sure of it,” mused Cindy.

“I
am,” said Wendell. “And do you want the real truth?” He leaned closer to Cindy.

“Yes,”
said Cindy, “I do.”

“When
I heard that Kate had died, it didn’t really surprise me. There was something
inevitable about it. I saw it coming, it had to happen. She must have jumped
off the patio in desperation, at the very same age and same time of year that
my dear sister Flora killed herself.”

“That’s
awful,” said Cindy, “just awful.”

“Yes,”
Wendell agreed, trembling again, “but awful or not, what can you do when something
is written in the stars?”

*

After
the interview, Cindy felt deeply shaken. Her talk with Wendell had unnerved her
completely. She wasn’t sure whether or not Kate’s father was insane, or just
reacting wildly to the horrible events he’d gone through in his life. Wendell’s
strange certainty about Kate’s death was disturbing, though. In his mind Kate
had simply joined his mother and sister in a similar fate. He’d been preparing
for it since Kate had been born. Was that why he never got close to her and she’d
felt such terrible loneliness? Naturally Wendell had to find some way to make
sense of all the suicides, so he’d decided it was all written in the stars. Was
there truth in what he’d concluded?  Was there a larger destiny that was in
control of how long and in what way we lived and died? These questions tossed
around and around in Cindy’s mind, though she knew there was no definite answer
to any of them.

Cindy
felt relieved then that she and Mattheus were planning to leave the hotel and
go hiking together.  She definitely needed time away to clear her mind. As the
case progressed, Cindy felt more and more troubled.  Was there even a way to
know for sure, whether or not Kate had taken her own life? Could they find solid
evidence that would point to Sean?

Cindy
stepped out onto the patio for a moment and looked into the ocean below. She
wondered why had this breakup had been so different from the others for Sean? Was
it because Kate was with someone else now? It would be easy to say that Sean’s
jealous rage had taken him over the edge and caused him to kill Kate. But that
wasn’t a leap Cindy wasn’t ready to make.

As
the waves tumbled over each other, it suddenly struck Cindy that no one had
focused much on Kate’s relationship with Clay. Cindy wanted to look over their
email correspondence, as soon as she and Mattheus returned from the hike. Not
only would she learn more about Kate and Clay’s relationship, but significant
clues about Sean could be waiting in the emails as well. It made sense that
Kate might have talked to Clay about him.

Cindy
left the room, went down the elevator and stepped out to the front of the hotel
now, where she was to meet Mattheus.  It was good to smell the fresh salt air
and feel the breezes blowing on her. As she waited, images of Kate and her
family came up in Cindy’s mind. Despite Wendell’s grim predictions, Cindy didn’t
feel as though Kate had taken her own life. In fact, Cindy could almost feel Kate’s
presence around her now, still here, wandering around. It was as if Kate were
urging Cindy to keep going, find out more, let the whole truth be told.

Just
then Mattheus drove up to the front of the hotel in a red convertible car he’d
rented, and waved at Cindy to jump in. It was perfect.  Cindy ran to the curb
and popped in beside him. Then she threw her head back on the seat, her face up
to the blustery sky.

“I
love this, it’s great,” said Cindy, thrilled to be taking a drive.

Mattheus
laughed. “I thought you’d like it,” he said. “And you’ll like the National Park
even better. It’s famous for owls, land crabs and rattlesnakes.”

Cindy
shivered.

“Don’t
worry, it’s safe, it’s beautiful,” he smiled. “And besides, what can go wrong?
We’ll be together every step of the way.”

Mattheus
was in a light hearted move as the car left the hotel and began its way to one
of the most famous spots to visit in Aruba.

“It’s
high time we had some fun here,” he said as they breezed along. “The police are
talking to Sean as we speak, and I’ll do more investigating when we return. But
for now, let’s enjoy. It’s probably cause to celebrate. I’m sure we got our
man.”

Cindy
didn’t want to stir up a discussion about it at the moment and said nothing as
they breezed along.

“You’re
unusually quiet,” Mattheus seemed surprised. “I was expecting to get an
argument.”

“No
arguments needed,” Cindy said quietly as the car breezed along the roads. “I
just need some fresh air now and time to let everything settle.”

Mattheus
turned his head quickly and looked over at her. “Good,” he said, “the words of
a wise woman. It must have been quite an interview with Kate’s dad to quiet you
down like this.”

“It
was,” said Cindy, lightly, “now let’s just chill.”

Mattheus
turned on the radio, and popular music filled the air as the car wended its way
towards the park.

“We’re
on the way to Arikok National Park,” Mattheus chimed in as the car picked up
speed. “The park takes up about 18 per cent of the island. Once we go in, we’ll
get a taste of old Aruba. There are amazing geological, cultural and historical
sites, along with incredible hiking trails, caves and natural pools. It’s
fabulous, it’s beautiful.”

“You
sound like a tour guide,” said Cindy smiling.

“I’ve
researched it a lot,” Mattheus said, “always wanted to see this place. The park’s
got the Aruba lava formation and a quartz and limestone formation that have
influenced the way the island was settled. And, inside the park are some of the
oldest Arawak paintings. There are also several reptile species which live only
on this island, including two snake and bird species.”

Cindy
shuddered, and Mattheus laughed.

“They’re
magnificent,” he said, “the whiptail lizard, Baker’s cat eyed snake and the
burrowing owl and Aruban parakeet. I hope we see some of them. I brought my
camera.”

Cindy
was happy that he had. This was a wonderful rest and distraction from all they’d
been dealing with. And, the park would be bursting with life. There would be no
loneliness or gloom there. The creatures that populated this place, didn’t
rebel against their surroundings, or long to die. It was a wonderful antidote
to what they were dealing with. Cindy didn’t like even considering the possibility
of suicide. Everything about it seemed against nature’s way.

 We
deserve some time here, anyway, don’t we?” asked Mattheus.

“Absolutely,”
said Cindy, “I’m so glad we’re here.” And she meant it. The strange interview
with Kate’s dad had made every moment so much more precious. Cindy was thrilled
to share this place with Mattheus. She was delighted he was so excited about
it.

She
reached out and stroked Mattheus’s arm, “Thanks for planning something so
wonderful,” she said softly.

“Thanks
for being willing to enjoy it with me,” Mattheus replied.

When
they arrived, they parked the car and then quickly entered a hiking trail. There
were all kinds of trails which covered the terrains, from hills to gold mines
and even plantation ruins. The trail they chose rose to the highest point in
the place so they could enjoy incredible views.

As
they walked Cindy heard the sound of the odd birds and passed through intense
foliage. It felt like a journey through another land, and she was enjoying
every moment of it.

As
they got closer to the top Mattheus stopped suddenly and pointed to a rock
formation, where they could sit and take a break. After walking around a bit
and taking photos, he stopped and sat down next to Cindy.

“We
need time like this,” he said, throwing his head back, looking up at the sky, “we
need souvenirs and photos of wonderful moments together.”

“Agreed,”
said Cindy simply.

Mattheus
turned and looked at her. “I think it’s time we talked about our relationship,”
he said as though he’d been planning this for a while.

Cindy
shivered a bit. His voice deepened and sounded serious. She was frightened of
what could be coming next.

“We
need each other, Cindy,” Mattheus went on.

“I
realize that,” she responded. Cindy didn’t like the idea of needing Mattheus,
though. She preferred choosing him out of wholeness and strength.

“I
know you realize it,” Mattheus went on. “But not only do we need each other, we
also need stability. Do you agree?”

“Of
course stability is good,” Cindy replied, “especially living in an unstable
world like ours.”

“But?”
Mattheus asked, sitting straighter.

“I
didn’t say but,” said Cindy.

“But
I hear it underneath your comment. Sure, stability is good, but do you really
want it? Do you want someone you can count on to be at your side?”

“Doesn’t
everybody want that?” asked Cindy.

“I’m
not sure,” said Mattheus. And I didn’t ask about everybody, I asked about you.”

“I
don’t like the idea of needing someone,” Cindy suddenly replied. “I like the
idea of choosing each other from a sense of strength.”

“It’s
not weak to need someone,” Mattheus responded. “It actually takes a lot of
strength to admit it.”

Cindy
thought of Kate then and her desperate need for Sean. She thought of the loneliness
that had gripped Kate’s life and the tragedy of her early death. Was that what
love was based on?

“The
way you say it makes it feel like desperation,” Cindy said softly.

“You’re
mixing me up with the people in our cases,” said Mattheus, irritated. “The
cases have affected your emotional outlook.”

“They’ve
taught me a lot,” said Cindy.

“Not
always in good ways,” Mattheus replied.

Cindy
took exception to that and was about to answer as a burrowing owl flew down
beside them and stared.

“Look
at that incredible bird,” Cindy said to Mattheus.

“Let’s
stay on topic,” Mattheus replied, suddenly uninterested in anything but the
discussion.

A
sense of heaviness fell down upon Cindy, as though bloated clouds had descended
upon them, promising rain.

“Can’t
we just enjoy our time here together?” Cindy asked, wanting to be free to
explore the beautiful scenery and let heavy discussions rest.

“How
can we enjoy our time when things are so unsettled?” asked Mattheus. “I’m ready
for a life partner, someone to commit to for the rest of my life. I want
someone I can count on, who wants to be with me all the time. Is it you? Do you
want that as well, Cindy?”

Cindy
had to take a deep moment to reflect. She looked out over the craggy hills,
through the limestone formations, between the incredible trees that grew
naturally, without any demands.

“Everyone
wants to love and be loved,” said Cindy. “But even when you love, you may not
want to be with that person all the time. You may not be able to give them all
they need from you. Life brings all kinds of moments, sudden changes, storms,
unexpected winds.”

“What
are saying?” Mattheus’s jaw was working.

“I’m
not sure exactly,” said Cindy.

“But
I am,” said Mattheus. “You’re saying you don’t really love me.”

Cindy
stood up and felt her feet planted on the magnificent earth.

“No,
I’m not saying that,” she was suddenly sure of it. “I do love you Mattheus,
very much. But I don’t want to disappoint or hurt you. And I also need to be
who I am.”

“And
who are you, Cindy, really? Who?” Mattheus responded.

The
longer they spoke, the louder the owl began hooting, the sound echoing above
their heads.

“Love
is commitment, love is giving,” Mattheus continued fiercely above the din. “Love
is being sure.”

Mattheus
had so many rules for everything. Cindy felt exhausted by them.

“Did
we come here to talk about our relationship or to take a hike in the park?” she
asked.

“Both,”
said Mattheus. “I’ve bought you a surprise, but I’m not sure I should give it
to you now.”

Cindy
felt a wave of sorrow wash over her. Their discussions often took such a
difficult turn, twisting them both into heartache, instead of the happiness
they’d hoped to find.

“Probably
better to wait for a happier moment,” said Cindy.

Mattheus’s
fists clenched. “Maybe you’re right,” he grumbled, “and who knows when that
will come, or how long it will last?”

The
hike back down was quieter. Cindy and Mattheus made their way to the car
without saying much. When the silence began to become oppressive, Cindy hummed
a bit and Mattheus asked a few questions about the case.

“How
was the interview with Kate’s dad?” he asked as they turned down a hill.

Cindy
was relieved to focus on something else other than their relationship.

“Kate’s
dad is convinced her death was suicide,” said Cindy off handedly.

Mattheus
seemed startled. “You say that so casually as if it doesn’t mean anything?”

Mattheus’s
reaction jarred Cindy. “Not at all,” she said, “it’s just his view. I don’t necessarily
agree with it. Kate’s father is a sad guy. He’s had a lot of tragedy in his
life. Both his sister and mother committed suicide.”

“My
God,” said Mattheus, “that’s horrible.”

“Very
horrible,” Cindy echoed. “I can only imagine how awful this has to be for him. First
he said he thought it was something in the family genes. Then he told me he’d sensed
this would happen to Kate from the time she was young. Basically, he’s decided
it all has to do with fate, that it was written in the stars.”

“Written
in the stars?” Mattheus mused.

“As
if there were nothing that could have been done about it,” said Cindy.

“And
maybe there’s something to that, for all we know?” Mattheus replied.

Cindy
looked at him, amazed.  That kind of comment was the last thing she’d ever
expect from him. Above all Mattheus had always been practical.

“After
all, it’s true, isn’t that, that no matter how hard we may try for something it
doesn’t happen,” said Mattheus, “and then other things just happen by
themselves.”

“Yes,
it’s true,” said Cindy quietly.

“Could
be Kate’s dad is onto something,” he murmured. “What a relief it would be to
believe it’s all written in the stars.”

*

When
they returned to the hotel, Mattheus decided to use the computers at the police
station to investigate Sean further, and Cindy decided to take a walk alone
through the winding trail at the back of the hotel, that led to a natural pond
that was hidden out of sight. There were beautiful trees surrounding the pond,
and Cindy wanted to spend time there alone, resting.

The
heat of the day had intensified along with the humidity and Cindy was eager to
be in the shade. She walked slowly, feeling every step, and watching little
lizards scurrying around.  As she approached the pond, the sound of frogs
croaking got louder and she also saw a large shadow lurking beneath a tree.
Cindy turned towards the shadow and to her amazement, there was Clay sitting
hunched over, staring at his computer, entranced.

Cindy
took a step closer carefully. “Clay?” she said softly.

He
did not hear her, or respond in anyway, just kept staring at the screen.