Death is Semisweet (11 page)

Heaven sat down and hoped she wouldn’t disappoint Dale, since she had no antique scam to consult about. “Do you remember last Sunday, when the blimp crashed and the pilot was shot?”

Dale shook his head sadly. “Kids with guns. I tell you, how that Charlton Heston can hold up his head when these kids go around shooting off these high-powered rifles in the heart of town, killing their classmates and now, some poor airship pilot.”

Heaven perked up. “What makes you think it was a kid? Did you see anyone?”

“No, that’s just a grumpy old man talking, Katy. I was going to an afternoon performance of the Nutcracker Ballet last Sunday with some friends and I got caught up in the traffic jam that happened after the shooting and was twenty minutes late.”

“Oh,” Heaven said with disappointment in her voice, “so you weren’t here. I thought… Let me tell you what I thought. This is a pretty high building and I thought maybe you saw someone going up on the roof. They’d have to have come up this way, wouldn’t they?”

“You think a sniper used this building to pick off the Foster’s Blimp?” Dale said with barely concealed excitement.

“But I guess you didn’t see anything, before you left for the ballet?” Heaven asked again.

“No, dear, no one came up here with a deer rifle and camo gear. The only person I remember was a Santa Claus photographer, waiting for the elevator when I came down.”

Alarms went off in Heaven’s head. “Wait a minute. Someone in a Santa suit was waiting for the elevator to go up? How do you know he was a photographer?”

“He had two cameras around his neck and one of those big silver Halliburton suitcases that photographers use,” Dale said with a slight amount of pique in his tone. He knew a photographer when he saw one.

“You didn’t happen to talk to him, did you?”

“I said something like, ‘Oh, I suppose someone’s having a child’s Christmas party,’ and he smiled and nodded and got on the elevator. Nice idea, having a Santa that also takes photos of the little ones,” Dale said.

“So you never actually heard the Santa talk? And you don’t have any idea what floor he was headed for, do you?”

“No, but I know almost everyone in the building. Do you want me to ask around?”

Heaven got up and popped the last bite of the truffle in her mouth. “Would you, please, Dale?”

He stood up and gave that cute smile again. “Are you working with the police on this, or is it your own investigation?”

“My friend Bonnie Weber in the police department is heading this case, and also the death that happened at
the Foster’s factory yesterday. I just happened to be around when both of the, uh, incidents occurred,” Heaven said as she walked toward the door with her arm intertwined with Dale’s. “I think she sent uniforms around to all these buildings after the blimp was shot down. But you weren’t home to tell them about the mysterious camera-toting Santa.”

“Well, I don’t know how mysterious he was but I’m glad to be part of Heaven’s G-men.” Dale chuckled and gave Heaven a peck on both cheeks, European style.

“I’m sure this will be a waste of your time. I’d go with you up and down the halls but I’ve got to get back to work. We have lots of reservations tonight.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I have plenty of time to waste. But Katy, or Heaven as you call yourself now, from what I’ve read and what you’ve said, someone is either out to make trouble for Foster’s, or it could be to make trouble for you.”

“Don’t be silly. It was just a coincidence that I was around both times.” She hoped she sounded convincing. The thought that it was directed at her had crossed her mind. She’d dismissed it, of course, as paranoid thinking. Not everything bad that happened in Kansas City was about her.

W
ow,” Joe Long said as he walked into Heaven’s kitchen/living room. “Good tree.”

“I know. Hank got it last Sunday, not at the last minute like I usually do because I’m feeling conflicted about using up our natural resources for my own pleasure. He told me that particular tree was grown to be consumed, just like a carrot. He was very persuasive.” Heaven was looking around for her bag and coat.

“How Zen, I think,” Joe said. “What are you looking for?”

“My coat and stuff. I was so tired last night when I got home I just threw them down.” She was doubled over the back of a couch, butt up, pulling on the sleeve of a bright yellow down-filled long coat that had slid on the floor. “And after that I threw myself down on this couch and watched the Christmas tree until I fell asleep, which didn’t take very long. My coat must have slipped over the edge.” She pulled a faux python bag big enough to live out of for a weekend from the same spot as the coat, then stood up and got bundled up. “I was worn out. We were busy.”

Joe nodded. “Thank God. I made two hundred dollars last night and not a moment too soon. I haven’t bought one gift yet. After this contest, and of course, after we eat something, I think I’ll go shop for an hour or so. I’m sure it won’t take that long to spend two hundred bucks. Where’s Hank and how come you slept on the couch?”

“Hank, being the mensch that he is, is working all weekend in the emergency room so some doctor friend of his can get married. I didn’t sleep there all night, just until three or so when I woke up and went up to bed.”

Joe smiled. “It’s funny hearing you use that Jewish word for a Vietnamese American Catholic. But it’s certainly appropriate. Hank is the nicest guy.”

“I know. I don’t deserve him,” Heaven said as she locked the door and followed Joe to his rusted out pickup truck. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?”

“No, it’s my friend and her body building contest and it’s already cost you one evening and a hefty bar tab on the house. At least let me drive and pay for breakfast, or brunch or whatever.”

“What time is the contest?” Heaven asked.

“Noon in the first floor of the building with the movie theaters upstairs that used to be called Seville Square. A tacky mall atmosphere if you ask me, but I guess they were able to get the Plaza to pay for some advertising for the body builders. The Santa contest that was postponed from last week is going on in the same space after the body builders so it should be a real visual circus. I hope none of the Santa contestants are also in the body building contest.”

“Well, that would be a stretch, since the body building is for women and the Santas are men.”

Joe wagged his finger. “It’s the twenty-first century and I’m sure there’ll be some women in the Santa contest. And you saw those muscley women. Except for the Santa belly, some of them could pass.”

“Yeah, what am I thinking? Your friend’s gender was challenged. How did that turn out anyway? I felt sorry for her. It was kind of humiliating.”

Joe pulled into an empty space in the parking garage near the building they were headed for. “I felt sorry for Kathy too,” he said. “She took her lover’s death real hard last year and she put her energy into this body building. It was something they did together so it means a lot to her. All I know about that gender test is she called and said she was cleared to be in the competition and would love it if you and I could be there to cheer her on. I think she might have a little crush on you. You were so nice to her the other night.”

“Well, if she mentions a little crush to you, I’m depending on you to nip it in the bud. Just tell her what a die-hard hetero I am.”

Joe laughed. “I’ll just tell her about all of your husbands.”

“By the way, how did you and Kathy meet?”

“At my gay and lesbian consciousness raising group,” Joe said sheepishly. He knew Heaven thought too much introspection was dumb.

“Oh, brother. I’m sorry I asked,” Heaven chuckled.

They hurried across the street to a three-story building. Housing a movie theater, the building also had a large enclosed space bordered with shops. This indoor plaza was the site for various concerts and personal appearances of soap stars and the like. Today it was crowded with the participants and fans of the body builders and Santas.

When they joined the crowd, the contest was already underway. A group of nine women, Kathy included, lined up on a temporary stage with a small catwalk. They were wearing bikinis and lots of oil and one by one, they stepped front and center and flexed their arms to the applause of the crowd.

Heaven was more interested in the Santas, who were slowly showing up around the stage to watch the first contest of the day. She studied each bewhiskered face, still working on the theory of a Santa being the shooter last Sunday.

She knew if a Santa had done in the airship, the chances of him coming back in costume this Sunday were slim. But she also knew lots of these nuts got off on flaunting themselves in the face of authority, putting themselves in dangerous situations, so maybe the shooter had come back dressed as Santa this Sunday, just to make it more fun.

Nothing set off her internal alarms, not that she’d laid eyes on the imagined Santa shooter to recognize him again. Heaven depended on her intuition to lead her but this group all looked so sweet in their red suits and
white beards. Even the Rasta Santa had an innocent demeanor.

Joe punched Heaven’s arm. “The woman that was giving Kathy a hard time last week, she seems like she’s in trouble.”

Heaven turned her attention to the body builders. They were showing off their backs now, stepping to the end of the catwalk, turning back out with their hands on their hips then popping every muscle from their shoulders to their waist. This was a showy pose and the crowd loved it. Heaven saw the woman Joe had been talking about, the one who had been giving Kathy trouble at the health club. She was pale and wobbling, sweat pouring down her neck as she waited her turn to pose. Heaven moved closer to the stage. She was up next and staggered as she came forward. The crowd started a murmur that turned into a steady hum of concerned voices. They were concerned but also titillated by the possibility of some kind of problem on stage. The contestant turned her back to the crowd, and then, instead of pulling herself taut she crumpled into a heap on the stage floor. Heaven turned to check out Kathy’s reaction and wasn’t surprised to see her smile. Tit for tat. This was a ruthless bunch.

Quickly, with the help of two other contestants and a nurse who must have been on call, the woman was helped off stage. She was sobbing and as she passed Kathy, she lunged at her. She had enough energy to get her hands around Kathy’s neck but then she caved in again, clinging to Kathy and choking out, “You did this to me, you bitch, you—”

Kathy pushed her back in the arms of the two people assisting her with a savage grin. “Looks like I’m up here and you’re not.”

The nurse promptly sat the sick woman down in a straight-backed chair by the side of the stage and checked her pupils and blood pressure. Heaven heard the nurse ask her if she had hypoglycemia, and she muttered something that Heaven couldn’t hear.

The contest went on through two more body parts and Heaven turned her attention back to the stage. The next time she glanced toward the sick bay, the chair was empty and the nurse was writing on a form stuck on a clipboard. Heaven strolled over to the nurse. “I hope that contestant is going to be all right. What was the matter?”

The nurse shrugged. “It happens quite a bit at these things. They don’t eat before a competition. Then you add nervousness and the amount of vitamins these girls take. It’s a wonder they don’t all puke.”

“Was she sick?” Heaven asked.

“Oh, yeah. I always have some barf bags ready.”

“So you work these contests often?”

The nurse, herself with a soft, padded body, nodded. “I guess that tells you something, doesn’t it. That you have to have a nurse on hand for a body building contest says a lot.”

“It isn’t something you’d figure on a nurse for, now that you mention it,” Heaven said sweetly. “Not like a skateboarding contest. After all, they’re just standing there.” She glanced up to see some kind of a grand pose-off going on up on stage, each one of the women going through a variety of poses. The crowd was enthusiastic, clapping and whistling.

“Getting a body to that point of perfection, if that’s what you want to call it, causes a lot of stress on the body and the body builder, if you know what I mean,” the nurse said. Just then a contestant came rushing off
stage, red in the face, gasping for water. The nurse quickly squirted water in her mouth from a plastic bottle and the body builder ran back up the stairs.

Heaven moved away, looking around for the sick girl. Kathy had mentioned last week she was a crowd favorite. Now the crowd had forgotten her for the moment and she was puking and shaking in the bathroom somewhere. Was she right about the ruthlessness of competition and had Kathy dosed her sports drink with something? Or was the nurse right and it was just part of the game?

The winners were being announced and Kathy was named reserve champion, which as far as Heaven could tell was first runner up. That seemed very good for a woman who was probably ten years older than anyone else on the stage. While the photos were being taken, Heaven slipped into a couple of shops. She emerged with two big sacks.

“Did you cross someone off your Christmas list, you dog?” Joe asked. He and Kathy were ready to depart, it seemed. Kathy had on some sweats, a coat, and was lugging her trophy proudly.

“No, I just got us three toys so we could vote at the Santa contest. Kathy, congratulations.”

“Thanks, Heaven. I’m sure glad that’s over. Joe asked me to join you for lunch, if that’s okay. I’m starved.”

Heaven guided the other two over to a large trash container that was filling up with toys. “I’m starved too, but this won’t take long. I’ve just got to see the Santas strut their stuff. They’re lining up now. I read the sign that says a donation for the Toys for Tots program gets you a vote, so I bought us a stuffed animal, a checkerboard set and an infant toy of some kind that plays music.”

“Thanks for getting these. I’ll pay you back,” Kathy said as they gave their toys to a volunteer who then handed them a ballot. “It’ll be fun to watch someone else sweat through a contest for a change.”

Heaven could hardly wait to grill Kathy about the incident on stage. But she kept her mouth shut for the time being while they got some laughs out of the Santas.