Decadent Master (11 page)

He spun around and thrust his arms forward, caging her head between them. His gaze drilled into hers. “Tell me you won’t scene with that bastard again. I warned you about him.”

He was pushing her buttons at the wrong time.

She glared right back at him. “What’s it to you, Dierk?” When he didn’t answer, her blood spiked even hotter. She shoved at his chest but he didn’t back off, so she just kept hitting it, punctuating each sentence with a smack. “You’re. A. Bastard. Sending all kinds of mixed signals, telling me one thing and then doing another. I’ve had enough. E-nough. Fucking tell me what the hell you’re thinking, because I am going crazy trying to guess. Tell. Me.”

He jerked away. “I’m sorry.”

She waited for several seconds, thinking he was going to offer some kind of explanation. When he didn’t, she saw all kinds of red. And it wasn’t a pretty sight. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“I could make some suggestions.” This time, she was the one pulling on his arm. “Let’s go to your suite and have a little talk, shall we?” She felt his muscles harden under her touch. She guessed he wasn’t used to having a little subby talk to him this way, but she was at her wits’ end. She wasn’t leaving Twilight tonight without speaking her piece.

She’d give him privacy; that was the only concession she was going to make. And that was only for the sake of his career. Otherwise, it was all guns blazing.

She’d let this go on long enough.

Once the door was shut, she screwed her face into the meanest glare she could muster, crossed her arms over her chest, and asked, “So, I’m going to listen and you’re going to talk. I want to know why you’re practically seducing me one minute, then acting cold and aloof the next?”

He looked a little like a kid caught standing next to a broken window, holding a baseball. He was visibly tense, from his forehead to his legs. His hands were still clenched in fists. The arteries on his arms bulged. “I’m trying to…I haven’t…” He shook his head. “I find you incredibly attractive, but I can’t get involved. Not with you or anyone.” As she watched, some of the tension eased from his body.

It took a few seconds for his words to sink in, since she’d been more focused on his body language than what he was saying. He had actually admitted he was attracted to her. Now, she was the one having a difficult time finding the right words. “Okay.”

“You’re beautiful.” He started to lift one hand but then dropped it again. “You’re intelligent. Incredibly intuitive. You smell amazing.” A hint of a smile spread over his face. “And I am captivated by the mixture of sweet vulnerability and tough independence I see in you. I’m not the only one, but I’m assuming you know that.”

She’d never heard anyone describe her the way Dierk had just now, which made it that much more disappointing that he didn’t believe he could pursue something with her. “You can’t…?”

He shook his head. “There’s no way. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“Not even a session every now and then? What if we were to scene in the main dungeon?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” He looked away for the first time since they’d entered his suite. “If you aren’t comfortable with Rolf, I could introduce you to some other Doms I know.”

A little chill skittered up her spine. “Did Rolf say something to you about me?”

“No.” Dierk looked her straight in the eye. “Not a word. But I know something happened the last time you two scened. I saw him afterward and he wasn’t acting like himself.”

Now it was her turn to feel like an ass.

This bondage stuff was really complicated. On the surface, the casual relationships, experimenting, exploring, all sounded healthy, good. But the reality was, people’s feelings were getting involved and what was meant to be casual, no-strings-attached play wasn’t ending that way.

“On no.” She slumped onto a nearby chair and covered her face with her hands. “I need some time to think about this. Maybe I should take a break from Twilight for a few weeks.”

“I’m not suggesting you’ve done anything wrong.”

“No, I know you’re not. I’m just not sure this environment is right for me.” She sighed, curled her fingers, and raked them through her hair. “Maybe I need something different, a committed type of relationship.”

He chewed on his thumbnail for a second, then scrubbed at his stubbly jaw. “Again, I’m sorry for sending mixed signals. I’ve never had such a difficult time…. I…care about you.”

She gazed deeply into his eyes, and her heart lurched. They were so dark, so full of regret. “I think I get it.” She stood, opened the door, and turned. “Thank you for being honest.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome.”

She left.

That was that.

“O
hmygod, do I know you?” Standing in the hallway outside of their apartment, Kristy winked and pushed a brown paper bag into Wynne’s hands. “I bought you a gift.”

“A gift? What did I do to deserve this?”

“Absolutely nothing. Heck, I haven’t seen you in days. You’ve all but abandoned me. But I saw this, and I just knew I had to buy it for you.”

“What did you buy?” Intrigued, Wynne plunged her hand into the bag. But before she pulled out what she had curled her fingers around, Kristy stopped her.

Kristy tipped her head toward the apartment door, still closed and locked. “Better get inside first.”

More curious than she had been before, Wynne released the item from her clutch, dug out her keys, unlocked the door, and only after the two of them were safely inside did she reach into the bag again.

When she withdrew her fist, she saw instantly why Kristy had suggested she wait. “Is this what I think it is?”

“Your very own remote control vibrator,” Kristy said, snatching the package out of her hand. “I have one just like it, and I can’t tell you how—”

“Please stop! T. M. I. It’s bad enough you bought this for me. I don’t want to hear what you do with yours.” Wynne opened the bag and with a tip of her head, indicated Kristy should place the toy in it. “Let’s just put it away for now….”

“You are such a prude.”

“How could you say that? I’ve come a long way. I’ve been going to the dungeon regularly.”

“Sure.”

“And I’ve even played with more than one Dom.”

“Yeah,
so I’ve heard
.” Kristy gave her a weighty look as she kicked off her shoes.

Still standing just inside the door, Wynne set her purse on a nearby table and dropped her keys into it. “What? I’m not doing anything wrong, am I? They’ve been introducing me to each other.”

“Absolutely not.” Kristy donned a pout as she wandered toward the kitchen. “It’s just not right that you have written me off lately.”

Wynne followed her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Do you hate me?”

“If I did, would I have bought you a present?” Kristy opened the freezer, scowled.

“No, I guess not.”

Kristy shut the freezer and leaned back against the counter, crossing her ankles and arms. “Are you busy tonight?”

“Nope.” Wynne decided she wouldn’t go into details yet about her decision to take a break from the scene for a while.

“Good. How about a girl’s night in? I want to hear all about your escapades at Twilight. Every dirty detail. Leave nothing out, especially the really bad stuff.” Kristy winked.

“You are so perverted. How could I have not realized that before now?”

Kristy shrugged. “Because I put on a good act?”

“I guess so.”

“So.” Kristy hurried out of the kitchen, making a beeline for her huge tote sitting on the coffee table. She started digging through its contents. “Do we have a date tonight?”

“Sure.”

“Good. I was hoping you’d say that.” Kristy lifted her cell phone. “I’ll order the food. The usual?” Kristy didn’t wait for Wynne to answer before hitting the
SEND
button, placing a call to their favorite Thai restaurant.

“Okay.” Wynne filled a couple of glasses with ice and carried them and a bottle of diet cola into the living room. She set them on the coffee table.

As Kristy placed their order, Wynne went back to her bedroom, shoved the paper bag and its contents into her underwear drawer, and changed into a comfy pair of sweats and a T-shirt. By the time she returned to the living room, Kristy was on the couch, feet kicked up, remote in hand.

“The food’s being delivered,” Kristy told her. “I didn’t feel like driving over to pick it up. Please tell me you TiVo’d the season premier of
Rock of Love Five
.”

“You know I did! How could I miss that train wreck?”

“Good!”

They watched no more than three minutes before Kristy started, “Okay, I’ve waited long enough. How’re things going at Twilight?”

Wynne acted all casual, giving a slight shrug. “It’s going pretty good, I guess. I’ve been having fun.”

“I hear your name there quite a bit. There’s talk among the Doms.”

The casual act completely abandoned, she twisted to face Kristy. “About me? What kind of talk?”

“They all want you.”

Wynne felt her cheeks heating up. She pursed her lips and snatched up a throw pillow, hugging it to her chest. “That’s weird. I’m so new. I can’t handle the stuff I see other submissives doing.”

Kristy shrugged. “They say there’s something about you. What’s interesting to me is the reaction I see from Master Dierk whenever your name is brought up.” Wynne’s heart did a little jump, and Kristy gave Wynne a probing look and nudge with her elbow. “Is there something up between you two?”

Wynne hugged the pillow tighter. “No. I mean, we played once, but that’s as far as it’s gone.”

“I get a sense he’s uncomfortable with you scening with other Doms, especially Master Zane. His face turns ten shades of red whenever he hears your name mentioned with Zane’s. And I’m noticing something between Dierk and his brother, too, a little bit of tension. I think he’s feeling a little protective.”

She knew what Kristy was getting at, but she was wrong. “He’s not being possessive over me.”

“That’s the only thing I can think of, with the way he’s been acting. What makes you believe I’m wrong?”

“I just know.”

Kristy studied her for a few minutes. “What’s going on, Wynnie? You’re keeping something from me.”

“Well…” She didn’t know what to say, where to start.

Kristy leaned forward. “I don’t think Dierk’s scened with another submissive at Twilight. Only with you.”

“That’s just because his brother screwed up and forgot he’d scheduled a session with me. But that’s neither here nor there. I’ve decided to take a break from the scene for a while.”

Kristy frowned. “I think you’re making a mistake.”

“It’s not what I’m looking for. I want one man. I want him to make me feel desired, safe, protected…and loved…forever. Not for an hour, or a night, or a week.”

“Wynne, are you falling in love with Dierk?”

“I…I don’t know.” Wynne dropped her chin onto the pillow and closed her eyes. “I mean, I feel something for all three of the Doms I’ve scened with. Master Rolf was my first, and so he’s very special to me. He’s so considerate during play, gentle, firm, sensual. He makes me feel sexy. And Master Zane is almost the opposite. He is super tough and demands total surrender, but that is such a huge rush sometimes.”

“But…?”

“But there was something different about Master Dierk, right from the moment our eyes first met. It’s an energy, that’s the only way I can describe it. Our exchanges are intense, magical, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. And I always want more. More time. More touches. More
him
.”

Kristy beamed. “I’d say that would be a yes, then.”

Wynne didn’t answer. There was no need to. “I’m setting myself up for heartbreak.”

“Not necessarily.”

“Oh, yes I am. He told me he can’t pursue a relationship right now. Not with anyone.”

“Why?”

“He didn’t say.” Wynne scrubbed her face with her flattened hands. “But he did tell me, after some arm twisting, that he is attracted to me. Actually, he said more than that. It was sweet…. What am I going to do?”

“Follow your heart. That’s what we all do.”

Wynne poured some cola into one of the glasses. “But if I do that, I’m going to get hurt.” She gave Kristy a pleading look. “Tell me I’m being an idiot. Tell me he’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve to lick the dirt off my shoes. Don’t tell me he’s a good guy and I should try to find out why he can’t give us a chance.”

“I think he’s a good guy.” Kristy wrapped her arm around Wynne’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “And I think you’ll regret it forever if you don’t try to find out why he’s holding back. If he’s really as attracted to you as you’re suggesting, he owes you an explanation about why he won’t give you a shot.”

“How am I going to get him to do that?”

Kristy gave her a meaningful grin. “I think you know what to do.”

“No, really, I don’t.”

A knock sounded at the door and Kristy leapt to her feet. “Food’s here.” Wynne set down her glass and stood, prepared to get some money from her purse, but Kristy stopped her. “Nope. It’s my turn to pay. Remember? You got it last time.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“My pleasure.” Kristy gathered some cash from her wallet and hurried toward the door. Before she opened it, she turned to face Wynne. “You know Dierk like nobody else at Twilight does. I can’t tell you what to do. You’ve got to figure it out for yourself. There’s got to be a way to approach him, make him feel comfortable so he’ll feel comfortable telling you the truth.” Then she turned around, opened the door, and greeted the delivery man on the other side with a smile and a friendly, “Hey there!” She thrust the money at him and accepted the large paper bag he’d been holding in his arms. “Thanks. Keep the change.” After the man thanked her, she shut the door and trotted back toward Wynne. She set the bag on the coffee table and started pulling white styrofoam cartons out of it. “So you aren’t going to scene with Rolf and Zane anymore?”

“No. I told Zane I wasn’t the right submissive for him during our last session. He’s too…intense for me. And Rolf…not for a while, not until I find out what’s going on with Dierk. And maybe not even after that. It’s not right, not with Dierk being his brother.”

Kristy picked up a baby corn from one of the containers and slipped it into her mouth. “Mmmm, good stuff.” She licked her fingers. “I wish I could help you sort this stuff out.”

“Do I need to talk to Rolf? Explain myself?”

“No. He’ll understand.” Kristy handed her a container.

Wynne set it on the coffee table, next to her glass of cola. “I feel bad. I mean, I think he kind of knows, after our last session.”

“Don’t worry about it. He has other subs. He isn’t going to be upset.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. It happens all the time.” Kristy pointed a plastic fork wrapped in a white napkin at Wynne’s nose. “If you’re asking my opinion, I think you should concentrate on Dierk.”

Wynne snatched the fork. “Thanks.”

She wasn’t just grateful for the fork. Or the food.

“It might be easier to get him to talk if I could spend some time with him outside of the dungeon,” Wynne mumbled as she unwrapped a spring roll.

Kristy’s smile turned devious. “I think that could be arranged.”