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Authors: Julia Bell

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“Why
did you turn the job down and then change your mind?”

She
swallowed hard.  “I felt I had to turn it down, because of the twins and their
exams, but then they went off to Romania and I discovered…” She gave a sob and
put her hand to her mouth.  “I discovered Dave had been up to his old tricks
again.  I think he’s cheated on me from the day we married, perhaps even
before.   And I couldn’t take any more.”  She tried to pull herself together. 
“I was so happy working for you, but then came the letter.”

“I
assume it wasn’t very pleasant?”

“It
was upsetting because he seemed to be blaming me for our separation.  He made
me feel guilty when I hadn’t done anything wrong.”  Moments of silence passed
between them.  “Jason, why didn’t you tell me you’d spoken to him?” she pleaded
in desperation.

“What
would you have done, if I had?”

“Been
shocked, but at least things would have been straight between us.”

He
sighed sadly.  “Many times I came close to saying something, but I decided not
to.  I believed you would tell me sooner or later.  Of course, I didn’t realise
you would hold out for so long, even though I could see it was a huge strain. 
I gave you one more day, if you hadn’t said anything by tomorrow, then I was
going to say something to you!  I can’t understand why you didn’t tell me
sooner.”

“I
thought you’d hate me and send me packing.”

“Even
after I told you that I loved you?”

“That
was when you thought I was a widow.  Or at least, I thought you thought I was a
widow.  Oh dear! This is getting complicated.  You’d gone through such a lot
with Kiera and I couldn’t bear to add to your problems.”

“Do
you believe me when I tell you that nothing has changed and I still love you?”

“But
Jason, I just up and left my husband one morning.  I abandoned my two
children.  Doesn’t that worry you about the sort of woman I might be?”

He
chucked her under the chin.  “Your sons are no longer children so you’ve not
abandoned them.  And what kind of woman are you?”

“The
kind that runs away when there’s any kind of problem.”

“Infidelity
is not just any kind of problem.  How you put up with it all those years is
beyond me.  It shows incredible courage.”

“Or
stupidity,” she said, puckering her lips.  “But what about my lies?  Dear Lord,
I shudder to think of what I came out with.  To tell you that my husband had
died of a terrible illness and then your own wife dies.  I feel so ashamed.”

Jason
frowned.  “Then you mustn’t.”    

“You’re
so good to forgive me,” she sighed.

Jason
took his arm from her and put both hands on the steering wheel as if trying to
summon strength from gripping it tightly.

“Anna,
I don’t think you understand.  I was trapped in a nightmare of a marriage too,
so I understand.  Kiera and I…disintegrated.  Oh, I know we tried for Hollie’s
sake but it was becoming more and more difficult to live together and finally
we had to separate.”

Anna
felt stunned.  “What about Peter?  I thought she left you for him?”

He
gave a caustic laugh.  “She did.”  He rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the
tension.  “Our marriage was over and as soon as she met Peter, then that was
her ‘get out of jail’ card.’  I allowed Hollie to go with her because she was
always an excellent mother.”

“Kiera
doted on her,” Anna smiled.

Jason
nodded and dropped his hands from the steering wheel.  He took in a breath
before turning to her again.  “Did Kiera, by any chance, tell you that she’d
like us to marry?  Then you could look after Hollie?”

Anna’s
mouth went dry.  “Yes…Yes she did.”

“She
told me that too.”  Jason put his arm round her.  “And that’s exactly what
you’ve done.  You’ve been a second mother to Hollie.”

“Have
I though?”

“You
certainly have!  Anyway, it wasn’t Kiera’s place to put that kind of responsibility
on your shoulders.”  He held her closer.  “And you’ve been a wonderful support
to me through all this.  I don’t think I could have managed without you.”

“But
marriage?”

He
gave a half-smile.  “I would ask you here and now to be my wife and not because
Kiera wanted it, but because I do.”

“So
Kiera was right.  You did have feelings for me, although I didn’t realise.”

Jason
smiled and kissed the top of her head.  “We’re a fine pair.  Both trapped in a
loveless marriage.”

Anna
pressed her face against his shoulder.  “I lived with Dave for nineteen years. 
I gave him two sons.  Surely it means something?”

“It
means that you persevered against all odds.”

“I
did love him.  Well, at the beginning I certainly did.  And I was always
faithful to him.  That’s why last night was such a disaster.  I couldn’t bring
myself to behave the same way he did.”

“You
have quite a traditional view of marriage, haven’t you?  Fidelity and loyalty
figure highly in your notions of marriage.  I feel so sad that it wasn’t
returned, because you deserve better.”

Anna
looked out of the window and across the lake.  “Yes, I did expect more from my
marriage,” she said dejectedly.  “But there again, I had expected much more
from myself before I got married.  Oh Jason, I had such dreams, so many plans. 
I wanted to go to university and study English.  Then I could train as a
teacher.  I wanted to work abroad, even go to the States.  But instead I got
married.”  She searched his expression for reassurance.  “I thought that I
could still do it after the boys had left home.  Still do all the things I’d
planned.  I thought that if I got a qualification in office work, it would give
me a start.  But it all got out of hand when you offered me a job.  My
application was supposed to be an experiment.”

“Some
experiment,” said Jason, smiling.  He added, “So, what do you want to do next?”

“I
need a little time to work things out.”

“Take
all the time you need.  I want us to be together, but only when you wish it
too.  I want you to be comfortable with the situation.”

“How
long are you prepared to wait?” she giggled and then became more serious. 
“Life can be so complicated.  I’ll be glad when the boys have left for
university, then I know I’ll feel more settled.  My ties with my husband will
be finished.”

He
gave a sigh as he thought this over.  The morning was almost gone.  “Then I’ll
leave the decision to you.  Come on, Anna, let’s go home for Mother’s birthday
lunch.  Shall I drive?”

“Certainly
not!  This is my car!”  As they changed places, Anna flung her arms round his
neck and kissed him full on the lips.

 

It had been the
most wonderful birthday of Anna’s life. Not only because of Jason’s gift of the
car, but also the tremendous relief at confessing her dark and dismal secret. 
Knowing he understood and still loved her, filled her with joy. As she drove
back for lunch, she felt as though a hundred years of guilt had slipped from
her shoulders.  Jason clicked on the radio and they sang along to the songs.

She
parked in the drive and with their arms round each other; they strolled through
the main entrance and into the large hall.  They could hear laughter coming
from the parlour and the clinking of glasses.

“I
think Mother is serving cocktails before lunch. Would you like to try one?”
Jason cast her a mischievous sidelong glance. “Or you can have lemonade if
you’re worried about getting tipsy.”  She gave him a withering look and he gave
her a quick kiss. “Come and meet our lunch guests.”

They
entered the parlour and were greeted by Margaret, who had been waiting to
introduce Anna to the motley group of people from Wedmore Village and
surrounding neighbourhood. Taking her arm and whisking her away, she guided her
round the room for ten minutes, intent on getting her acquainted with
everyone.  At the end, Anna’s head buzzed with all the names she had heard and
her hand ached from the force of so much shaking.  By the time she had circled
the room, she was relieved to be back where Jason waited with a cocktail for
her.

“Goodness
me!” she exclaimed with delight, “they all seem to be clergymen and generals
and judges and lady this or that!”

Jason
chuckled.  “Mother does have rather influential friends.”  He pointed towards a
stout gentleman with a white beard.  “That’s Doctor Orchard.  He’s been the
family doctor for as long as I can remember.”

Suddenly
another guest swept into the room, causing all eyes to turn in her direction.
Her head crowned with thick, black hair, her face enhanced with dark, seductive
eyes, it was little wonder she immediately became the focus of attention. 
Anna’s gaze took in the stylish clothes definitely bought at only the top
fashion houses in Milan and London.  Tall and slender, with an elegant walk,
she moved with the confident air of someone who knew she had the power to
dominate.

Seeing
Jason, she glided towards him.  “Jason, it’s been ages since I last spoke with
you!”

Anna noticed he
had become uncomfortable.

“Oh,
hello Deborah.  Didn’t know you were coming today.  May I introduce you to Anna
Stevens? Anna, this is Deborah Gilbert-Hines, an old friend of the family.”

Deborah
held out a limp hand and Anna took it politely, knowing she was being
scrutinised from head to toe.

“Hi
there.  You’re Jason’s new secretary or something aren’t you? I love the way he
brings his employees to the Grange on special occasions.” Anna cast him an
incredulous look of amusement, but her smile faded as she saw his black,
thunderous expression. He didn’t answer. Deborah continued, “You don’t mind if
I take him away from you for a few moments, do you?  I’ve something I must
discuss with him!”

Without
waiting for a reply, she manoeuvred Jason to the corner of the room and they
became absorbed in forceful conversation.

Margaret
had seen all this happen and came to Anna’s side.  “Oh dear, I don’t think it
was a good idea to invite that woman, but I wanted to invite her mother and it
seemed impolite not to invite the daughter too.”

Anna
swallowed a lump in her throat.  “Were they ever serious? They’re talking as if
they know each other very well.”

“My
dear, Deborah is the sort of woman men always fall madly in love with.  She’s
already had two husbands.”

“Perhaps
she’s looking for a third.”

“You
mean Jason? That was over long ago, I assure you.  We did think there was
something there to be honest, but it was just after Kiera had left and I think
he was on the rebound.” 

“She
has the same kind of beauty as Kiera.  Dark and sensual.”

The
description caused Margaret to laugh.  “Now, come with me. I want to introduce
you to Doctor Orchard. You’ll find him a lovely man and so interesting.”  She
guided Anna over to the gentleman with a white beard.  “Colin, this is the
young lady I told you about.  This is her first visit to the Grange.  Will you
take care of her, while I sort out my other guests?”

Anna
tried to concentrate on the conversation, but found her eyes drifting
frequently to the corner, where Jason was still engrossed with Deborah.  There
was something very familiar about this woman in the way she held herself and
the cut of her clothes.  Anna wondered if she had met her before.  Suddenly,
she remembered the woman at Kiera’s funeral, the one standing outside the
crematorium wearing a large hat and sunglasses.  If it was the same woman then
had she been there for Kiera’s sake or Jason’s?  The thought made her bite her
lip anxiously.  The morning had turned out so wonderful, surely it wasn’t going
to be spoilt.  Not now, Anna groaned to herself in despair, not after all we’ve
been through.

 “Colin,
you’ve had a call from Mrs Turner,” came a voice from Anna’s right-hand side. 
Anna turned to see a tall, lean woman with rather protruding teeth.  “I’m sorry
to butt in.  I’m Sarah, Colin’s wife.  And you’re Anna, Jason’s new
secretary?”  They shook hands and she turned to her husband once more.  “It
seems Mrs Turner’s mother has taken a turn for the worse.”

“Oh
dear, I did expect this,” said the doctor.  He smiled ruefully.  “Looks like my
lunch will have to be kept warm as is often the case.”

“Shall
I come with you?” said his wife.

“No,
no, not necessary.”  He kissed her warmly on the cheek.  “See you later.”

“I
really hoped he would have a day free from patients,” said Sarah wistfully,
watching him leave the room.

“The
trials and tribulations of being a doctor,” smiled Anna.

“Not
to mention a doctor’s wife,” nodded Sarah.

Jason
appeared and placed his arm round Anna’s waist.  Sarah said a brief ‘hello’ to
him and then moved on to talk to another guest.

“Sorry
to leave you like that.  Mother says she loved our gift.  But I told her it was
your idea.”

“Oh,
Jason, we decided together.  You thought of lunch and a shopping trip to
Harrods and I suggested including tickets for a West End show!”

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