Deceit of Angels (18 page)

“I
suppose I should divorce Dave.”

Sighing
heavily, he spoke in a soft hushed voice.  “That’s for you to decide, but it’ll
be difficult for you to become my wife if you don’t.”

“It
seems such a final step to take, especially after nineteen years.”

“Yes,
it is, but you’ve already made the first step.  You’ve been brave enough to
walk away from an impossible marriage and that’s a start.  From what I can see
your marriage was over long ago.”

“But
he hasn’t mentioned divorce.”

“Then
perhaps it ought to be mentioned and pretty quickly too!”

She
eased herself away from him.  “For a short time, I saw you going through hell. 
It scares me to think that I might have to go through the same thing.”

“Whatever
happens, I’ll be with you all the way.  You supported me and now it’s my turn
to support you.”  Seeing she wasn’t convinced, he pressed home his argument. 
“All I’m saying is that I want to give you my love and my name and I want to
spend the rest of my life with you.  If it’s going to be a fight between your
husband and me, well, I’m ready and willing.  Although, he’d better watch out
because I usually get what I want!”

He
gave a whoop of joy and pulled her up onto her feet.  He gathered her up in his
arms so tightly, she was almost swung off the ground.

Despite
his exuberance, Anna began to feel uncomfortable.  “You make it all sound so
easy.”

Jason
became still for a moment and studied her expression.  “But it is easy.  You
just find a solicitor and set the wheels in motion.”

“It
doesn’t seem right to say that half your life didn’t mean anything.  If
something is a problem, then just dispense with it.”

“Are
you saying you want to go back to your husband?  Are you saying you want to try
and patch things up with him, forgive him once more for his behaviour?”

Anna
turned away from him, her thoughts confused.  “No, not that.  It’s just that
you’re talking like a businessman.”

“What
on earth do you mean!”

“You
said it yourself.  Find a solicitor and set the wheels in motion.  Deal’s
done!  Sorted!  But it’s my life we’re talking about.  I have a lot that needs
to be considered.  I must talk it over with the boys.”

Jason
realised he had put pressure on her, when he had been determined to give her
space and time.  “Yes, of course you must.  I’m sorry.  I’m too eager for you
to make up your mind where you want to be and who you want to be with.”

Tears were
starting to well up as she struggled to understand her own feelings.  She
shrank away from him.

“I
feel confused.  Leave me alone, please.” 

He
held out his arms in a vain attempt to comfort and reassure her, angry with
himself for causing an awkward situation.  “Anna, I only meant to...”

Her
eyes flashed with an annoyance he had never seen in her.  It made him catch his
breath in dismay.  “Jason, I need to think!”

He
stood for a while studying her, the pain on her face sending rivers of alarm
coursing through him and the knowledge he had exacerbated the problem by trying
to persuade her to divorce her husband.  She needed more time, he thought
ruefully, he had rushed her into things she wasn’t ready for.  And then nodding
his head in defeat, he left her.

Anna
watched him go with longing, tears gushing down her face in an endless stream
of despair. She couldn’t understand why she had spoken to Jason in that way. 
Hurting him was the last thing she wanted.  It was as though she was angry and
afraid all at the same time and yet there was nothing to be angry about.  On
the contrary, he had given her nothing but happiness, since the first day she
had met him and she blessed the day he had entered her life.  The same
sentiments applied to her sudden irrational fear.  Jason was right; divorce was
the next step, however painful.

Anna
went over to a box of tissues and quickly dried her eyes and blew her nose. 
She ought to apologise straight away, that was always the best thing to do. 
But at the moment she longed for some peace and quiet.  Filling her lungs with
air and letting it out slowly, she closed her eyes and searched for some
tranquillity for her troubled thoughts.  She noticed her birthday presents on
the bed and carefully removed them, placing them on the floor.  Kicking off her
shoes, she lay down, curling up into the foetal position on the duvet, her
knuckles pressed against her lips.  Jason had offered her everything he had,
she thought sleepily.  She mustn’t lose him because she lacked the courage to
end her marriage.  Not now, after she had come this far.

Jason
finished his emails and looked at his watch. Anna had remained upstairs for the
last hour.  Perhaps she was getting ready for the party?  He wandered out of
the parlour and stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking upwards. He couldn’t
decide whether or not to check on her.  He didn’t want to intrude on her
privacy, but it seemed callous to leave her on her own when she seemed so
upset.  Finally, he gave in to his feelings and taking the stairs two at a
time, he was soon at her door.  He knocked quietly but there was no answer.  He
opened the door and peered round.  Anna was lying on the bed, fast asleep.

Jason
crossed the carpet and sat on the side of the mattress.  Her expression was
peaceful, her body relaxed, her breathing soft and rhythmic.  He tenderly
brushed the hair from her eyes and bent to kiss her lips.  She awoke and
stretched herself.

“Did
I fall asleep?”

“You
certainly did.”

“What
time is it?”

He
looked at his watch.  “Just gone six.”  He smiled at her.  “It’s time to get
ready for the party.”

“Yes,
I want to take a bath first.”

“There’s
still time.  The revelries don’t start until eight.”

She
giggled and grabbed his clothing, pulling him down.  He tumbled on top of her
and then he rolled to lie by her side.  For a few moments they both stared up
at the ceiling.

“I’m
sorry,” she said softly.

He
turned over and raised himself up on his elbow, looking down at her.  “I
shouldn’t have put pressure on you.  It was very wrong of me.”

“Everything
you said was true.  And my answer is yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,
I will marry you.”  She paused for a moment.  “You haven’t changed your mind,
have you?

He
answered her, smiling.  “No I haven’t and I would like to make it official by
getting you a ring.”

Anna
felt startled.  She and Dave had never bothered to get engaged or buy a ring. 
It hardly seemed worth the bother.   

“That
would be lovely,” she whispered.

“Well,
that settles it.”

Anna
pulled herself back to reality.  “No, you mustn’t buy a ring just yet.  As
wonderful as it sounds, you must remember I’m still a married woman.”  She
raised her left hand and wriggled her fingers.  “And I’m still wearing a
wedding ring.”

“You
could take that off,” he said quietly.

“I
will when the time’s right.  And I promise you that when I take this ring off,
I’ll replace it with yours.”

“Fair
enough,” he smiled and kissed her hand. 

“What
are we going to tell the others?” she added, frowning.

“About
what?”

She
sat up and pulled the pillow across her, holding it close.  He sat up with her,
putting another pillow behind his back.

“Your
mother!  And Mrs Wilby and Ben!  All this time they’ve thought I was a widow. 
How can I explain all this?”

He
thought for a moment.  “I suppose they’ll need some kind of explanation.  So,
we’ll tell them the truth.  We’ll explain your circumstances and that’s all. 
You don’t need to justify your actions.”

“Do
you think they’ll understand?”

“Sweetheart,
it doesn’t matter if they understand or not.  And besides they all love you and
in the end, I’m sure they’ll want us to be happy.”

Anna
gave a sigh.  “And I’ll have to explain everything to the family too.  About
you and my intention to end my marriage.” 

“I’d
really love to meet your family,” he smiled.

“You
might find my mother rather daunting,” she laughed.  He gave a chuckle and
jumped up, pulling her onto her feet.  He wrapped his arms round her and she
closed her eyes, pressing herself against him.  A peaceful contentment settled
on them.  And then Anna remembered her encounter with Deborah and summoning her
courage she told him what she had overheard in the ladies room at the
clubhouse.  “She suspects something, I know she does.”

His
brow creased in an anxious frown.  “How can she?  Whatever she’s implying it
doesn’t matter.  It’s none of her business.”

Anna
had to admit he was right, even though she dreaded the thought that people
would soon know how she had lied in order to pursue her own ambitions.

“Now,
shoo,” she said, laughing.  “And leave me to get ready.”

Anna prepared
for the party by having a long, luxurious soak in the bath, before dressing her
hair and applying her makeup.  This was the evening she had been looking
forward to since arriving at the Grange and she wanted to look perfect.  Her
belated shopping expedition to Bristol had finally located a dress that pleased
her.  It was a long black evening dress in the classic style, but with a slit
on the left side reaching from hem to knee.  The edges of the slit were
embroidered with silver, as were the edges of the bodice and straps that crossed
at the back.  When she had stepped out of the changing room in the shop, Mrs
Wilby’s mouth had fallen open in astonishment.

“My,
you do look a picture.  I think that’s the one, my dear.  It will certainly
make Jason’s eyes pop out of his head!”

At
the time, Anna couldn’t understand why Jason would be interested in what she
looked like or if she would care anyway.  But now everything was so different. 
Now she wanted to look special, she wanted to be the ‘belle of the ball’.

Anna
fastened her earrings in place.  The white gold set off the cascade of three
beautiful small diamonds and for a brief moment she held the matching necklace
in her hands, turning it about and watching it sparkle.  This was the only
jewellery she had brought with her from Wakefield, as they had been a
twenty-first birthday present from her mother and stepfather.  For some strange
reason she hadn’t been able to leave them behind, although as she had tucked
them in her case she couldn’t imagine when she would wear them.  Smiling with amusement
she fastened the clasp round her neck and then eased on the black high-heeled
sandals she had bought.  Anna picked up the shawl and evening bag that
completed the ensemble and stood in front of the long mirror.  She scrutinised
her appearance, turning to left and right.  For the first time in years she
didn’t grimace at her reflection, but instead, nodded with satisfaction.

She
descended the stairs to the hall where the rest of the party was waiting. 
Margaret and Mrs Wilby looked wonderful in their evening dresses and Jason and
Ben looked smart in their dress suits.  But the look on Jason’s face told her
everything. 

“Wow!”
he murmured. “Looks like I really will be fighting off the other guys tonight.”

Anna
took his arm.  “I’ve decided you can have the first dance,” she said, smiling.

“Can
I have the second?” chimed in Ben.

Margaret
glanced at Mrs Wilby.  “It seems we’ll be dancing together.”

“Speak
for yourself,” said Mrs Wilby, with a twinkle in her eye.

They
made their way to the ballroom where the carpet had been removed revealing the
beautiful polished wood flooring.  As Anna promised, she and Jason had the
first dance and Ben had the second.  And as Jason surmised, every man then
queued up to have his turn with the ‘belle of the ball’.  In the end, Jason had
no choice but to sneak in and steal Anna away if he thought she was being
overwhelmed.

For
Anna it was a wonderful evening and the dances with Jason proved to be very
special.  At ten, the live band retired and a DJ took their place.  Now it was
time for the disco and the dancing got a lot livelier.  The older folk took
their seats round the room, chatting and watching the gyrating of the younger
ones, only the brave few venturing out onto the floor to join in.  And then
finally, it was time for the last dance and Anna and Jason found themselves in
each other’s arms once more.  As they danced slowly round the floor, they
became oblivious to the other partygoers, or the satisfied smiles from their
closest friends.  They were lost in each other and for all they cared, they
could have been the last two people on earth.            

It was late when
the guests left and the household went to bed.  Anna waited a short while and
then skipped barefooted down the corridor and up the short flight of stairs to
Jason’s room.  He was waiting for her and laughed softly as she closed the door
behind her, ran across the carpet and slipped into bed beside him.