Deceitfully (Sinfully Series) (14 page)

“Yeah. You said Graham’s coming with us? Did you talk to him today? How’s he doin’?” he asked as he gathered his phone, keys, and sunglasses. “Ready, Stells?”

“His surgery went well. The painkillers make him loopy, but he sees his leg as a reminder of that night. I think going there together might be good for both of you. You both lost your friend and were both injured in the crossfire. Use that bond to help each other. I was thinking we should have him over for dinner one night, get him out of his house and socializing a bit. From what I’ve gathered, he’s still in the ‘I want to be alone forever, go away’ stage that you went through not too long ago.” We were in the car and headed for his place. With Graham’s hurt leg, he had to keep it straight, which meant he was stuck in the backseat for the next week or two. Tyler had been sending me updates on the boys, and I thought Graham was taking it the hardest. “Do you know how well Tyler’s handled this situation? I didn’t know him before, but he really seems to be taking charge and being there for all of you. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that doesn’t seem his style.”

Tate broke out into a laugh. “No, that was definitely not Tyler’s style before this. He was the crazy bachelor who only had pussy on his mind. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if the fucker would ever grow up. Guess we kinda forced his hand.” Tate glanced over at me a few times as we made the short drive to Graham’s home.

I let Tate go in by himself, figuring they might need a minute together to ready themselves to bury their friend. Grabbing my purse, I figured I could check the Facebook group that had been created for the victims and survivors to see if there had been any updates. I cursed myself for forgetting my phone on the charger. My mind had been so preoccupied this morning with dealing with Tate that I’d forgotten all about it.

I rolled down the window and took in the crisp fall air, trying to give myself a moment of peace before the boys got in the car and we made our way to another funeral. Five minutes later, I heard them before I saw them. Graham was crutching out to the car with Tate next to him, ready to catch him if he fell. It was a cute sight, really. Tate watched every move and literally had his hands in a catching position next to Graham. Halfway to the car, Graham hit Tate with his crutch and made him walk ahead to open the door. The action caused both men to laugh and I couldn’t help but be thankful for it. Lord knew the boys needed all the happiness and love they could get right now, and while Tate and I had each other, Graham sounded like he’d shut out everyone, even his family.

“Sophia?” Graham asked as he slid into the backseat. “That you?”

“Wrong sister, Graham. I’m Stella.” I was used to the mistake. Sophia and I couldn’t be more different in personality, but when people saw us on the street, they constantly confused us. Especially when she ‘dressed down’ or I put on nicer clothes. Not that what I wore was shabby, but I didn’t care about the latest designers or this season’s new colors.

“My bad. You’re hot, too. Why are you here?” Graham cut to the chase, which earned him a smack on the back of the head by Tate.

“Watch it. She’s with me,” Tate reprimanded as he shut the back door and got back into the driver’s seat. “Sorry,” he whispered to me before grabbing my hand and squeezing lightly. I loved how he wasn’t scared to show his affection.

It warmed my insides that he stuck up for me. Graham stayed quiet for most of the drive over, but I felt like I needed to break the ice with him and show him that I was not like my sister, at all.

“Graham, I heard you have a little niece and nephew. How old are they?” I started simple.

“Three and seventeen months. They stopped by yesterday, and we all went to dinner together. My sister and I were always close, and her kids are pretty cute.” His voice seemed off, but there was definitely love and compassion laced throughout.

“That’s a fun age. Maybe you can bring them by my shop someday. Get them a cupcake or cake pop. My treat. Kids love the store and we make mini cupcakes for them.” I wasn’t sure what else to say or offer. I was trying to keep the mood light, but he was closed off. I noticed that Tate was in his own little world, too.

“Yeah, they’re little monsters, but I love ‘em and don’t know what I’d do without them.” He was looking out the window, and I decided that was enough for now.

Baby steps.

We rode the rest of the car ride in solemn silence, each of us lost in our heads with memories of the past and what could have been. So much had changed in such a short amount of time, and we were all still learning how to deal with the pain and grief one day at a time. I’d grown to know how Tate dealt with his emotions but wasn’t sure about how Graham was doing.

Cylas’ funeral/celebration of life was beautifully heart-wrenching. The church was standing room only. Watching grown men, coworkers, and a surprisingly large number of students say goodbye to him was harder than the other funerals. He touched so many people on different levels. The students made him cards and set them by the casket, each taking a moment to say their goodbyes. Their young minds not used to death, not realizing the finality of it all. Next were his coworkers, mostly women who were bawling their eyes out. The boys were next. Tate, Trevor, Matt, Graham, and Tyler walked up to the podium together and as a group, gave their respects.

The stories shared gave testament to the kind and giving man Cylas was. He put others first and was always looking out for those he loved. Trevor told of his courage that saved Sophia by taking the bullet aimed at her. I had looked around for her but didn’t have any way of contacting her and I didn’t see her in the crowd. Cylas died protecting her and she probably wasn’t even grateful.

His parents spoke as well, about how he’d grown up always thinking of others before himself. They talked about their hopes for him finding the one and settling down. How great of a father he would have been. I didn’t know Cylas well, but I couldn’t agree with them more. I held Tate’s hand the entire time, only letting go while he went to the front with his friends. I could tell he was trying to keep it together, but there were a few stray tears.

The guys, along with Cylas’ dad, were the pallbearers. I walked along with the crowd behind them as they took him to the hearse. Their faces were solemn, but they held it together for those watching. The gravesite was just a mile away, and I couldn’t help but feel like an outsider. Tate and Graham were lost in their thoughts, and anytime I thought to say something, I worried that it’d come out insincere.

It wasn’t until we were seated for the grave dedication that Tate leaned over, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and whispered, “Thank you for being here with me. I know you’re over
thinking this right now but don’t, please.”

This man was too good for me. After the service, we took Graham home and made plans to have dinner with him the following week. I’d like to think that today provided a little bit of closure for them. Tate picked up dinner for us on the way back and seemed to be in a lighter mood now.

We were seated cross-legged on the bed as we ate our takeout, quietly talking about the people we had seen at the funeral. “Did you see old Mrs. Whethers? I won’t lie, she was blessed in the chest, but that shit needs to be kept under wraps. I’m pretty sure I saw nipple. Did you see nipple?”

“I totally saw nipple! I had to turn my laughter into a cough so others wouldn’t think I was a morbid person who laughed at funerals. The dress was borderline see-through, but the low cut was way too severe. I just wish my eyes hadn’t witnessed that,” I confessed. I thought I was the only one who’d noticed.

“Everyone noticed. She must be in her seventies now. Cylas had told me once that he caught her and some dad from the school on the playground one night when he was working late. Said she was flexible and then I closed my ears. I don’t think she even knew Cylas, now that I think of it. She was probably just there to be some guy’s shoulder to cry on.” He shook his head as if to rid him of those thoughts, and I was still laughing at the situation.

“Now that you’ve seen him, how do you think Graham’s doing with all this?” I hadn’t planned to bring him up again, but it just came out.

“He internalizes things like this. He’d rather be alone while he gets through the hardest parts, but I’ve made sure that he knows we’re there for him and I think he finally realized it. Having dinner with him will be good, though. I still worry about him being all alone,” Tate told me as he finished his dinner and settled his body by lying down. I quickly took my last few bites and chugged my water before scooting up next to him. We were like an old married couple, content on staying in and enjoying our time together.

THE NEXT DAY, TATE surprised me by taking me ice skating in Maggie Daley Park.

“I’ll keep you from falling. I’ve got you,” he said as he laced up my skates. That morning, he’d woken up with a lighter attitude and a smile on his face. Even though I knew I’d probably bust my ass repeatedly, I couldn’t say no when he was this happy.

“I trust you, Tate. You’ve been warned about my suckage, so when I pull you down with me, you can’t get mad.” He placed both hands on my knees and gave a light squeeze.

Leaning in, he nuzzled his nose to mine and whispered, “Always trust me. Whenever you’re in doubt, remember that everything I do, I do with your happiness in mind. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, and I won’t always be perfect, but I’ll be there to catch you when you fall.” Then he kissed me, a slow kiss that showed how much he cared for me. I tried returning the same amount of love as we kissed in front of dozens of people who were nearby.

When we broke apart, the look in his eyes gave me hope. He was being sincere and for once, I wanted to be vulnerable and to let him in, fully. I wanted to share my dreams and my desires with him, and maybe one day, my nightmares and past. I had no reason not to.

My entire life, I had watched as Sophia was treated like a princess, so fragile and desirable. Did I not deserve the same?

When I stood, I felt like a newborn fawn, walking with unsteady legs.
How in the hell did people walk, much less skate, on these things?

Tate held onto my arm with hand and held onto my back with the other. “You got this, Stell. Once we get on the ice, it’ll be much easier. Just a few more steps.” He guided me to the side of the ribbon where we could enter. There were quite a few people going around, some going fast while others were more leisurely. A few kids were learning to skate too, having their parents coaching them and catching them when they fell.

Tate gently rubbed his thumb on my back, bringing me back to the present. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

With that, he took one step onto the ice and held his arms out for me. “What do I do?” I asked as I put one foot on the ice and immediately slid. This sucked.

“Hold onto the railing. Use it to start with and keep your body loose. Don’t fight the glide.” I carefully grabbed onto the metal railing and brought my other foot onto the ice, hoping that he was right. I stood there for a moment or two, gliding my feet back and forth, letting myself get used to the ice. “Atta girl. You have it. Ready to go around? We can stay close to the railing for the first lap if you’d like.”

We skated around the ribbon slowly but surely, and Tate patiently waited for me to acclimate to the new surface. Everyone was passing us, but it didn’t matter. Tate muttered quietly, “I wouldn’t mind if you never got the hang of this. Me getting to hold you like this? Pure heaven.” He made my heart melt a little.

“Lies. I feel like I’m being babysat right now. We can go a little faster. I think.” I gave him a nod of assurance, and while he looked unsure of my skill level, he pulled away an inch and picked up his pace just as I did.

I was ice skating! It had never really been on my bucket list before, but now that I was out on the ice, I realized the beauty in it. The cold air, the smoothness of our bodies gliding around, the ability to go with the movement and not fight it. Plus, having Tate next to me with his arm around my back wasn’t so bad either.

We’d gone around three times, and I was starting to get braver. Tate followed my pace and stayed next to me the whole time. He was a pro and never once faltered. As I turned on one of the curves, I startled as I saw a tiny pebble right in my path. Unable to turn out of the way, my right blade struck it and both legs came out from beneath me, taking both of us down with a hard hit to our bottoms.

“Oomph!” I cried out as the ice-cold temperature seeped through my pants; I closed my eyes in humiliation. “I had been doing so well,” I told him, and his arm came around my shoulder.

“You were. It happens, though. We just have to get back up. Come on, Stells.” He carefully stood and brushed off his pants. He held out a hand for me, still smiling.

“You sure you want to take my hand? I’ll probably pull you back down on top of me.”

He gave me a sly look, and I realized just how that sounded. “I’ll take my chances. Keep your knees firm and lift up with your quads.”