Deceived (26 page)

Josie pictured having to walk into a ballroom with the world staring at her, and her stomach turned. “I can’t. Please let me go to the country—”

Her mother shook her head. “You are
in
the country, Jocelyn. This trouble started in the country.”

“You know what I mean,” Josie pleaded. “Let me go somewhere secluded and just…just pretend it never happened. Don’t make me see him right now. Don’t make me face him while he tries to explain to me how and why he did this.”

Mrs. Westfall squeezed her eyes shut, and for a long time she seemed to be considering Josie’s request. Then she frowned. “Sequestering yourself in the country is not the right decision.”

Josie’s heart sank. “Mama!”

“
But
,” her mother continued, “I can understand why you would want to leave here right now. Why staying would be painful. So we will return to London tomorrow.”

Josie bent her head.
London
. It was not her favorite place, but it was better than Idleridge at present. At least she would have space from Evan.

“All right,” she agreed softly. “I will take London, as long as it’s not here.” She glanced up to find her mother looking at her with an expression that cut her to her very core. “Oh, Mama, please don’t pity me. I cannot take it.”

Mrs. Westfall flew to her. “I feel no pity, darling, none at all. What I feel is heartbroken that you are hurt. What I feel is that you deserved better than this. And I wish I could take away your pain.”

With that her mother folded her into her arms and held her as the tears Josie had been fighting fell once more. Fell for herself, fell for the loss of what she thought she had been building with Evan and fell for the future she now realized was never a reality.

As Edward strode into the breakfast room the next morning, Evan looked up from the paper he hadn’t even been pretending to read. His older brother screeched to a stop midway to the coffee on the side bar and stared at him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “You and Josie were spending the night at her family home, weren’t you? I didn’t think we’d see you for days.”

Evan pursed his lips, trying to mask the pain that ripped through his entire body at his brother’s quip. “Josie asked me to leave.”

His brother’s jaw dropped, and for what seemed like an eternity, he didn’t speak. Then he took a place at the table to Evan’s left and said, “Tell me everything.”

Evan stared at Edward. Right now he desperately needed a confidante, but Gabriel was sleeping off a hangover and, in truth, Evan didn’t want to talk to his partner in deception about what their plan had wrought.

He and Edward hadn’t been as close as they once were lately, but as he searched his brother’s face, he knew Edward would be fair, he would be there.

“When Josie first returned to the shire, it became clear that she and Claire had been communicating. So Gabriel and I came up with a plan to find out what she knew.”

Edward blinked. “You think Claire and Josie are writing to each other?”

“Well, Claire writes to Josie, at any rate,” he muttered, thinking of that letter in his sister’s hand, thinking of Josie’s face as she caught him reading it.

Edward frowned. “I suppose it isn’t a surprise to hear that. They are best friends. But what kind of plan could you and Gabriel have possibly concocted?”

“Gabriel believed Josie might be the key in finding our sister, so we thought perhaps I could…I could…
trade
on certain attractions between us.”

His brother went very still. “But Josie hated you.”

“It turns out she did not,” he said softly. “And I used her deeper feelings to grow closer to her in the hopes that she would tell me what she knew. And when she didn’t and when our attraction got a bit out of control, I-I married her. But last night, she caught me going through her letters and the truth came out. So she asked me to go, and that is why I’m here.”

Edward pushed his chair back with a screech, his face twisted in horror. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” Evan admitted, banging his forehead down on the edge of the table. “She was here, and Gabriel was talking about Claire and the line between flirtation and seduction, and I spent time with her, and then it was out of control.”

“You listened to bloody
Gabriel
?” Edward snapped. “He is the most intelligent person I know, but when it comes to Claire, he has a blind spot the size of a sailboat.”

“He thought Josie might be the key to finding her,” Evan repeated as he looked at Edward again. His brother’s face was red with anger and he was waving his hands around.

“Gabriel thinks
everything
might be the key to finding Claire!” Edward shouted. “Fuck, if there was a tiny sliver of hope he would interrogate trees and goddamn flowers!”

Evan shook his head. “Yes, I suppose that is true.”

“God, you are an idiot. You lied and manipulated yourself into a marriage, Evan,” Edward continued, pacing the room relentlessly. “That is permanent.”

“I realize that,” Evan grumbled.

“And you did it for some tiny shred of thought that Josie might lead us to Claire?” Edward snorted out a sound of derision. “Oh, and poor Josie! If she kicked you out after discovering the truth in your reasons for pursuit, that implies she must have thought you actually
cared
about her.”

Evan jumped to his own feet. “I did!” he snapped out. Then he hung his head. “I-I do.”

Edward stopped waving his arms and just stared at Evan, blinking. “Oh. Oh, I see.”

“Don’t
I see
me.”

“I just…it isn’t expected, that’s all.” Edward shook his head.

“Why?” Evan asked, moving toward his brother. “You didn’t know I deceived Josie, so why did you
think
I married her?”

“Honestly?” Edward shifted with discomfort. “I-I thought you were being forced to.”

Evan wrinkled his brow. “Why?”

“Well, it is no secret that you and Josie have never gotten along. I saw at Audrey’s wedding that perhaps there was a reluctant attraction there. When we received word you were to marry her, I thought maybe you had behaved imprudently. I assumed I would hear the whole truth eventually, but this?”

Evan gritted his teeth. “First off, Josie is a beautiful woman. It should surprise no one that she should be desired or that a man would want to woo her or wed her.”

Edward blinked. “I never said otherwise, Evan. Calm yourself. There is no need to clench that fist.” He motioned to the hand Evan didn’t even know he had gripped. “Why don’t you just explain yourself to me? You are practically bubbling with emotion, so release some of it.”

“I did listen to Gabriel,” he said slowly. “And I did start out my pursuit of Josie with ulterior motives. But it got…complicated.”

He shook his head as he thought of the day they had spent together visiting the tenants, the time they had spent giving each other pleasure, but also coming to know each other.

“Things often do with women we care for,” Edward mused, drawing Evan from his thoughts.

“Yes, you are correct that there is an element of force to the marriage,” Evan continued. “I allowed things to go too far, but not out of manipulation. I wanted Josie. I needed her. And I think perhaps some part of me knew that if I went too far, I would be given a reason to marry her. I wanted it, Edward. I wanted her to be my wife.”

Edward nodded slowly. “I see.”

“And I intended to tell her the truth about why I started my pursuit.” Evan sighed. “Josie is uncertain about herself, about us, about me, and I thought if I just waited a little while, let her feel how good we were together, that the truth would have less sting.”

Edward tilted his head and looked at Evan with eyes that saw too much. “But then you say she caught you going through your things, so why did you do that?”

“Oh God, I don’t know. Gabriel was telling me I didn’t care for Claire and it rang in my ears. Josie fell asleep after—well, after—and I was in her chamber. I kept hearing Gabriel’s voice saying this was my only chance, saying I didn’t care enough to sacrifice, to do the hard things. I kept thinking of Claire suffering, maybe even dying, if I didn’t help her. I thought if I just looked it would close the topic. I didn’t think Josie would find me. I didn’t think I would ruin everything.”

Edward nodded like he understood, and in a way, Evan supposed he did. After all, his older brother had suffered greatly in his first marriage, and his second to Mary had not come on the smoothest of paths.

“And when the truth came out, did you also tell Josie that you love her?” his brother asked softly.

The question rolled over Evan like a wave, knocking him backward a few steps. “Love. I-I never said love. I care for Josie, yes. I want her, of course. But love her?”

Only the words didn’t seem as foreign or false as he thought they would. Love Josie.
Was
this love?

Before he could talk to his brother more about it, there was a knock on the breakfast room door and their mother’s butler appeared. “I am sorry to disturb, my lords, but Mrs. Westfall is here to talk to Lord Evan.”

Evan bolted toward the door. “Please, I want to see her.”

The butler stepped aside and revealed Mrs. Westfall as she approached the room. As he bowed away, Evan stared at his new mother-in-law. She was glaring at him.

“How is Josie?” he whispered.

“As poorly as can be expected,” was her snapped reply. She looked past him toward Edward. “My lord. I assume your wastrel of a brother has crowed to you about his misdeeds?”

Edward bowed his head. “I know what he has done, though I promise you, he was not crowing.”

“No?” Mrs. Westfall said, her attention returning to Evan. “I hope that is true.”

Evan took a step toward her. “I take
no
pleasure in your daughter’s pain.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “That may be true, but you still caused it.”

“I did. And I hate myself.”

“Good.” Mrs. Westfall nodded. “Good. Then perhaps there is some hope. Josie does not know I am here. But I thought you should know that my daughter and I are leaving within the hour.”

Evan drew back. “Leaving! What? Where? Why?”

Mrs. Westfall observed him closely and took a moment to answer. “Yes. Josie has insisted she wants to go. It took a great deal of negotiating to get her to agree to return to London, which answers the question of where. You already know why, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Evan whispered, his tone broken. “But I must speak to her.”

“I happen to agree, but right now is not the optimal time, I don’t think.” Mrs. Westfall clenched her hands at her sides as if thinking about this subject hurt her. “Josie’s pain would not allow her to hear anything you had to say to her right now.”

Evan cleared his throat, wishing he could erase the lump there. “What should I do?”

“Wait a few days, I think. Allow her to have some space to think about what has happened. And to miss you, which I think she already does.”

“I miss her too,” Evan admitted.

Her eyes narrowed with disbelief, but she didn’t voice it as she said, “Then you come to her when she’s had a bit of time. If you care for my daughter, you had best be ready and willing to fight. But if you don’t…” Mrs. Westfall trailed off and caught her breath, as if the very idea hurt her. “Well, if you don’t, then I hope you will be honest for once. Don’t bob her around on your string while you whisper empty platitudes.”

Evan dipped his head. He deserved this woman’s disgust. He deserved Josie’s as well. And though the idea of waiting, of letting Josie leave him and just praying he could catch her, chafed, he knew Mrs. Westfall was right. He had to do what was best for Josie right now, not himself.

“I will follow in three days,” he vowed. “And I will fix this.”

Mrs. Westfall looked him up and down, her contempt plain on her face. “I certainly hope you can, sir. For her sake.”

Then she nodded to his brother and left the room without another word. As soon as she was gone, Evan buckled into the closest chair and set his head in his hands.

“I did this,” he whispered, hating himself.

Edward came to stand beside him and reached down to squeeze his shoulder. “You did. But now you have some time to decide.”

“Decide what?” Evan asked, lifting his head to look at his brother. He saw Edward’s pity.

“Decide if you’re going to admit you love this girl and fight for her until the bitter end, or if you’re going to let her go and find some way to atone for the damage you’ve done to you both. Only you can decide that, Evan. Only
you
can know what you’re willing to do.”

“What I’m willing to do,” Evan repeated as his mind went once again to Josie and all they had shared. He’d been trying to avoid loving her, fearing that emotion. Fearing it with her. But now that he was a hair’s breath away from losing her, he could deny it no longer. “I am willing to do everything, anything to win her back,” he vowed. “Because I love her.”

“Good.” His brother smiled. “Then you have three days to plan all the ways you are going to woo her.”