Deeper (27 page)

“I
need to be inside you, Jess,” I whispered and she bucked her hips into me.

“I
can’t wait,” she answered, leaning her face closer and kissing me. I slid my
tongue inside her mouth kissed her hard before I slammed my cock inside her,
making her gasp and cry out in pleasure. “Oh God! That feels amazing,” she
panted, grinding her hips.

I
thrust in and out of her at a rapid pace, knowing that I wasn’t going to be
able to hold out any longer before I came hard and I could feel her body
clenching my dick like a tight, wet glove. I felt a deep tingling at the base
of my spine and I pressed my forehead to hers, grunting out, “Can’t hold on.”

“Come
inside me,” she breathed as she clawed at my back and dug her heels into my
ass. At that moment all my control was lost and I exploded in a bone-melting
orgasm. Her inner walls contracted hard and I could feel her release rolling
down my throbbing cock. As we both came down from our powerful releases, I felt
such a sense of euphoria. I’d just had some of the most incredibly intense sex
with my beautiful wife while we were twenty-thousand feet in the air. My life
definitely did not suck.

“If
plane sex is this hot I can’t wait until we get to wherever we’re going and we
can really get loud,” Jessie said as I felt her heart pounding in her chest.
“We’ll probably scare off the other guests.”

I
grinned and kissed her nose. “I already thought of that and it won’t be a
problem. We have a private house so we could install a sex swing in the sliding
door frames if we wanted to and there won’t be anyone for miles to see us. We
could even be completely naked for our entire honeymoon, just saying.”

She
laughed and said, “You really are the perfect husband, aren’t you?”

“I’m
trying to be,” I laughed.

“Believe
me, you’re off to a good start. I love you,” she said, stifling a yawn.

“I
love you too, beautiful. It’s going to be a while before we get to our
honeymoon so why don’t we both get some sleep? I don’t know about you but I’m
really starting to feel this day.”

“Me
too,” she answered, smiling. “Just promise me one thing before we fall asleep?”

“What’s
that?”

“Promise
to hold me and never let go?”

I
grinned at her and whispered against her lips, “Never ever,” before kissing her
gently. I rolled to my side and covered us with a blanket before I enveloped
her into my arms. Never letting go of this incredible girl was the easiest
promise I’d ever made.

Jessie

Fifteen Months Later

            “Jessie,
baby, are you okay?” Kris called through the bathroom door.

“No,
just give me a minute,” I snapped. I grabbed some toilet paper from the roll
next to me and wiped my mouth. This was agony; why the hell did I have to come
down with a stomach bug the day before Danni and Beau’s wedding? I leaned back
on my knees and ran my fingers through my hair and had a thought…maybe I was
getting sick because I was still a little bothered by the fact that both Danni
and Everleigh were pregnant and I still wasn’t.

We’d
been trying unsuccessfully for fifteen months to get pregnant and the wait was
wearing on both of us. Now with both Everleigh and Danni heavily pregnant, it
was getting harder and harder every month when the tests were negative. It was
killing me that our dream of having a family was so close and yet Kris and I
couldn’t have the one thing we both wanted. Life was dangling a fucking carrot
right in front of us and I was afraid that I was going to snap on someone if we
didn’t get our hands on it soon.

I
quickly banished my thoughts and flushed the toilet and stood slowly. I moved
to the door and opened it, walking out to find Kris leaning against the wall
with a worried look on his handsome face. “Jessie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s
wrong. I just feel like shit,” I grumbled as I crossed the room and collapsed
onto our bed.

“Are
you sick?” he asked as he sat next to me and started stroking my hair.

“Apparently
so. I’ve been throwing up since I woke up this morning. I hope this goes away
before Danni’s bachelorette party tonight. Being sick is the last thing in the
world I need to be right now.”

“Jess,
baby, you can’t help it if you get sick.”

“I
know but the wedding is tomorrow and I’m a bridesmaid. Fuck, why is this
happening now?” I barked out angrily. I’d helped Danni plan this wedding down
to the last detail and now I wasn’t even going to be able to enjoy it.

He
looked at me as I frustratingly threw my arm over my eyes. I laid there for a
few moments, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down. When I looked at
him, he had a strange look on his face. He looked like he was thinking
extremely hard about something.

He
was stroking my hair and asked, “Um, Jessie, I’m no doctor but I think you might
not be sick.”

For
some reason, his response irritated the hell out of me. I glared at him and
snapped, “What are you talking about? Of course I’m sick, I’ve been throwing up
all damn day. Why else would I-” I stopped dead mid sentence as realization hit
me.

Of
course Kris would know something was up before I did. Since we began trying
over a year ago, he kept track of my periods as much as I did so we’d always
know the best times to get pregnant. Most guys wouldn’t want to know that stuff
but I knew how lucky I was. I had the most amazing husband.

“We
still have those tests in the bathroom?” he asked, excitement beginning to
bubble within me.

“I’ll
go take one right now,” I said, quickly moving off the bed and running toward
the bathroom.

“Take
them all just to be sure!” he called out.

“Okay,
I’ll let you know when I’m done!” I yelled. Since we began trying, we made a
pact that if I took a pregnancy test we would look at the results together. I
grabbed the last few tests and frantically tore one open. I unzipped my jeans
and pulled them down, along with my panties and sat on the toilet. I
immediately took test after test, eventually taking ten tests in all.

Please God let this be real…

I
washed my hands and flushed the toilet before setting an alarm on my phone and
coming out of the bathroom.

“You
take them all?” he asked me.

“Yeah,
every last one.”

“How
many were left?”

“Ten,”
I replied before blowing out a nervous breath. “This is crazy, right? Am I
being nuts to have my hopes up?”

“No,
you’re not. You’re two weeks late and ever since you’ve started these
treatments you’ve never been late. Not even one day,” he replied.

The
timer on my cell phone started to beep…it was time to look.

He
took my face into his hands and stated, “Listen to me baby. Whatever those
tests show we’ll deal with it together, okay?”

I
blinked my eyes a few times before nodding and saying, “Okay.” I blew out a
nervous breath and took his hand. “You ready?”

“Let’s
do this,” he replied and we walked into the bathroom together. When I picked up
the first test I took a deep breath before turning it over. When I did, our
eyes fell on the results window and I gasped sharply when I saw what I’m sure
he saw…it was positive.

I
turned to him and his lips were turning up into a smile as I grabbed a second
test off the counter. “We need to check them all before we get too excited,” he
suggested.

“Okay,”
I answered, my eyes stinging with tears. One by one we checked each and every
test and by the time we reached the tenth one, I was unable to stop the tears
from pouring down my face. Every single test was positive.

“Kris…”
I whispered, my eyes blurring with happy tears.

“We’re
having a baby,” he said, his voice breaking.

“We’re
having a baby!” I shouted excitedly before jumping up and wrapping my arms
around his neck. He picked me up and guided my legs around his waist as he
carried me toward the bed. As I began kissing his neck and tugging at his
shirt, he laughed out loud.

“I
thought you were sick,” he stated as I felt his dick hardening between my legs.

“We
just found out after years of torture and tears that we are finally going to
have the family we always dreamed of. I suddenly feel a zillion times better.”
He was holding onto my waist and I quickly pulled my shirt over my head and
threw it across the room. “Right now I want to relive what we did to make this
little one. What do you say, Daddy?” I asked, wiggling into him and smiling so
wide that my face hurt.

“I
say hell fucking yeah,” he said eagerly and kissed me so passionately that I
thought I’d melt right then.

As
we spent the afternoon making love, I felt such a peace that I’d never felt
before in my life. I was married to the only man I’d ever loved and was living
the life most people dreamed about, yet the moment we saw the positive pregnancy
tests, something changed in me. I’d always ache for the little girl we lost and
that pain would never, ever go away, but I felt that all of the pain we endured
was meant to lead us here. This was our time, our moment, our family.

I’d
never been happier in my whole life.

“Okay
that sounds great, Jagger. Are you guys sure this is what you want?” I asked,
holding my phone to my ear as I thumbed through a few invoices.

“Fuck
yes. I’m tired of the twin bastards running us all ragged and abusing their
power over us all because of a fucking piece of paper. Our contract is up and
we want to move on to another label. We’ve talked it through and we all think
Rebel Records is where we want to be,” Jagger replied.

“Awesome,
I can’t wait to sit down with you and get it all hashed out. It’s going to be
awesome to have more than one band on our label,” I laughed.

“Well
even so, anything has to be better than this shit with Bulldoze,” Jagger said.
“A monkey could do a better job.”

I
smiled and snorted out a sarcastic laugh. “Gee fucking thanks, you ass.”

“I’m
just joking, Jess. I can’t wait to start calling you boss.”

“I
like the sound of that,” I replied, grinning.

“I
do too. So, how’s the tummy?” he asked me.

I
smiled and placed a hand on my swollen belly. “It’s growing every day. I can’t
wait for Kris to feel the baby kicking. I have felt it for a while now, but my
doctor said he should be able to any day now.”

“Are
you far enough along to know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”

“Yes,
but Kris and I decided we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby. We want to
be surprised.”

“Well,
that’s your call I guess. I’m really happy for you, Jess.”

“Aw,
thanks, that means a lot. Listen, I have a shit ton of paperwork to go through
so I have to run, but I’ll see you and the boys on the eighteenth?”

“You
know it. Thanks a million, Jessie.”

“Anytime,
Jagger. Just have your manager shoot me an email with your travel itinerary and
we’ll go from there. Talk to you soon,” I said before we both hung up. I smiled
and slapped my desk with my palms in victory before I picked up a few more
invoices and placed them in a manila folder. As I stood up to put the file
away, I felt so excited about everything that was about to happen in my life.

When
we’d started this record label and the guys felt confident enough to put me in
charge, I quickly knew that I wanted to build it up so we’d be able to crush
Bulldoze Records. Stanley and Rick Isaacs knew how to market bands and make
them successful, but they also over committed their artists and would work them
wall past the point of exhaustion. The way their top-named acts were dumping
the label left and right these days, it was a wonder how they were still
standing. Hopefully they wouldn’t be for too long.

I
was also five and a half months pregnant and every single day was better than
the last. I was enjoying every moment of pregnancy from the cravings, mood
swings, morning-noon-and-night sickness, and my ever-expanding belly. The first
time I felt our baby kicking inside me, I cried for a solid two hours because I
was just so happy. Life was pretty damn close to perfection.

As
I was putting away the last few folders, there was a knock on my office door. 
“Come in,” I answered.

“Hey
baby,” Kris said as he entered the room. “You in here working hard?”

“Always,”
I replied. “What’s up?”

He
crossed the office and sat in one of my chairs with a slump. “Nothing, I just
wanted to see you,” he answered in a quiet voice.

Something
in his tone made me take notice and I turned to look at him. “Kris? What’s wrong?”

He
shrugged his shoulder and said, “Ah, it’s nothing.”

I
crossed the room and took a seat next to him. “It’s not nothing, I know you
better than anyone. What happened?”

I
took his hand and he sighed deeply. “I just got a call from the superintendant
at our old apartment. My dad died.”

“Oh
my God,” I replied, moving from my chair and closer to him, still holding his
hand. “What happened?”

He
pulled me into his lap and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess he came home from
work for the weekend and no one had heard from him for several days. When
someone finally went to check on him, he was lying in his bed and was just
gone. Coroner said he had a heart attack and he’d probably died in his sleep
that night.”

“Kris
I’m really sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say. William Engle was
almost as bad a parent as my mother was, but luckily for Kris as soon as he
became a teenager and could defend himself, the physical abuse stopped. The
mental abuse, however, never eased. Instead of interaction with his fists and
pent up anger over losing his wife, William just ignored Kris. It almost felt
as if he actually thought if he just acted like he didn’t exist, Kris would
just go away. How some people are allowed to be parents I’ll never know.

“Don’t
be sorry, I’m not.”

“You’re
not?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. I don’t know why I was shocked by his
statement, but surprisingly I was. “Kris, he was your dad.”

Kris
looked at me with a kind of sad humor in his eyes. “Jess, if the jail called
you today and told you Crystal was dead would you feel the least bit sorry that
she was gone?”

I
placed a hand on my growing belly and replied, “Well normally I would say no,
but I’m pregnant and I am much more emotional that I ever have been. I think at
this point I might actually cry over her.”

His
eyes widened for a second before he huffed out a laugh. “Wow, pregnancy has
made you soft.”

I
nudged him and said, “Shut up.”

He
sighed. “I don’t know Jess. I mean, he was a dick and I hated the man but…fuck.
I don’t know what I feel.”

I
combed my fingers through his hair and said, “You’re probably feeling a little
guilty for not being sad about it, am I right?”

He
shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. You’re hormones must be rubbing off on me.”

“Or
you might actually have a place in your heart for the man.”

Kris
scoffed and shook his head. “No that’s definitely not it. I guess it just
bothered me because I’m about to be a father. I couldn’t bear to have my child
hate me that much,” he said, placing his hand on my belly.