Defective (The Institute Series Book 3) (9 page)

“I’ll go make you some breakfast!” she exclaims, running past Paxton and out of the room.

“Translation? ‘Daddy will make you breakfast, and I’ll watch’.” Paxton sighs.

I half smile. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re back. I have something to talk to you about though. Something happened while you were away.”

“Oh?” he asks.

“After breakfast,” I say, looking down at my almost naked form.

“Right,” he says, walking away.

I spend my entire shower going over what I’m going to say. How do I even broach the subject? “Oh yeah, you know how you told me not to date? Well I kinda did, but not on purpose. It wasn’t even technically a date. Anyway, it got photographed, and now I’m being blackmailed… or not blackmailed – I don’t know what they want.”
Yeah, that’ll go down well.

A stack of pancakes awaits me when I reach the dining room.

“Thanks Nuka. These look great,” I say, sitting at the table. Paxton clears his throat from the kitchen, still flipping more pancakes on the stove. “Thank you too, Paxton,” I say with a smile.

He brings another stack of pancakes to the table, sits down, and we start to dig in.

“So what’s been going on?”

“Nothing. Not a lot. The usual. Not much at all,” I say, repeating myself.

“So nothing then? You’re being a little unclear.”

“We have a new volunteer at the clinic. Aunt Kenna is interviewing more this upcoming week. I may even be available for more political appearances coming up,” I say with a mock shocked look on my face.

Paxton looks down at his plate, avoiding my eyes. “We’ll talk after breakfast.”

Ugh, what now?

Nuka proceeds to tell me about all the places she got to see, which basically means hearing a list of all the hotels she stayed at, and what the differences between them were. One of them had the hard soap, but she preferred the liquid soap, one of them had a fountain in the foyer, so of course, that was her favourite.

I nod along and ask all the right questions to get her to keep talking, successfully stalling the conversation that’s about to happen between Paxton and me.

“I think it’s bath time, little one. You skipped it last night,” Paxton says to Nuka.

“Alright.” She hangs her head disappointedly before getting up and going down the hall to the bathroom.

Once the water’s running, Paxton turns to me. “So what really happened?”

“I’ll be right back,” I say, getting up and going to my room to collect the envelope. Picking it up, I surprise myself by ditching the photo under my pillow and heading back out to Paxton with only the note. It was like instinct took over my body, telling me I shouldn’t tell Paxton about Jayce. Not until he’s seen the note anyway.

Walking back out into the dining room, I hand him the note and envelope. “This came for me, here. It was delivered to security on Wednesday night. I don’t know what it means, and I can’t for the life of me think of who sent it.”

“No reply address?” Paxton says without even looking at it properly.

“Do you really think I’m not smart enough to look for a reply address?”

“Sorry,” he says, finally turning his attention to the note. His eyes go wide before his brow furrows together, almost causing a monobrow.

“Monobrow!” I shout.

“What?” Paxton looks up at me.

“Where’s Zac these days?”

Zac was an employee of the Institute and an avid Brookfield supporter. I always called him Monobrow because that’s all I could focus on when looking at his face. He was at every one of my interrogations, every one of my ‘tests’ that the Institute forced me to endure while I was imprisoned there.

He was arrested for helping Brookfield escape. According to Paxton, he was the one who found out where Brookfield was being held and found a way to smuggle him out without anyone noticing. Paxton also says Zac’s the one who tried to kill me while I was in the hospital by slipping something in my central line, but this couldn’t be proven and he got away with attempted murder. Last I heard, he got a few months jail time for Brookfield’s escape, and that was it. He’d definitely be out by now.

“When he was released, he moved up north, as far away from here as possible. That’s what I’ve heard anyway,” Paxton answers me.

“Could it be him? I don’t know why or what he’d want, but… I don’t know. I’m grasping at straws. My first thought was Brookfield.”

“What makes you think it could be either of them? What if it’s just a journalist trying to get to me, through you?”

“We thought of that, but why wouldn’t they just write the article?”

“Blackmail? Trying to get an exclusive? Trying to get the whole story before they can go to print? There’s many reasons why they’d do something like this first. What I want to know is, what have you been doing while I’ve been away to warrant this, what do you mean by ‘
we
thought of that’, and why does this piece of paper say that you’re keeping secrets from me?” Paxton’s tone has escalated to downright livid.

“If you read it, it says
you’re
the one keeping secrets,” I reply defensively.

“I’m not the only one, apparently!” he yells.

“I’m not keeping anything from you!”
Liar.

“Allira, I don’t have the time or patience to deal with this. This is nothing. It’s some reporter trying to get a story. Just ignore it and it’ll go away,” he says in a more rational tone.

“Okay,” I say, a little relieved. He thinks it’s a journalist, too.

“When do you think your aunt will have the new staff trained by?”

“Why do you want to know that?”

“We’re at a pivotal point in the campaign.” He sighs. “I hate to ask this, but I’m going to need you by my side more than ever. I’m going to need you to come with us on the campaign trail.”

My heart sinks. “Come with you?” I stutter. “That was never part of the deal, Paxton.”

“Well, it needs to be,” he practically orders.

“Okay, just say I go with you to do all of your campaigning, and then come Election Day, you win – what’s going to happen then? What happens to me? Will you ever tell everyone the truth?”

“You want to end our arrangement?” he asks, slinking back into his chair in surprise.

“I’m not saying that. I just don’t know how long I can keep it up. We can’t do this forever. I’m not going to become your wife. I’m just wondering if stopping it now will be better in the long run. Wouldn’t it be worse to have a public break-up when you’re President, than now, when we haven’t even confirmed we’re together?”

“I was hoping you’d stick by me through it all.”

“And in turn, prevent me from living the kind of life I want? What if I wanted to date someone? I wouldn’t be able to.”

Paxton stands up out of his chair, his face full of rage. “You’ve met someone, haven’t you?”

“No!”
Yes!
“But I’ve decided that eventually I will want to date again. Do you just expect me to put my life on hold, for you?”

“It wouldn’t be just for me. It’d be for every single Defective person out there. It’d be for Nuka, Shilah, Tate. It would be for Chad.”

Tears fill my eyes in an instant. “It’s unfair of you to put that on me. I’ve already done enough damage to the Defective community. I don’t want any more responsibility to them,” I whisper.

“Isn’t that why you’re working at the clinic? Because you feel guilty for what you’ve done?”

“What
we’ve
done,” I correct him. “You, me, and Drew. It’s our fault that people are out there getting killed.”

“At least they’re free! They get to live their lives the way they want. They’re not under the Institute’s reign. They’re not confined to that building! You really think we were wrong?”

I shake my head. “Sometimes I’m not sure.”

He walks over to me, lifting me out of my chair and hugging me to him. When I pull away, his hands find my shoulders.

“I need you more than ever right now. Please don’t back out now. I’ll do anything. I
need
you, Allira.”

I nod silently and he wipes away a tear on my cheek with his finger.

“Good girl. You can put your notice in tomorrow,” he says, kissing my head and walking away.

Did I really just agree to leave the clinic?

Chapter Nine

“Hey, Aunt Kenna,” I say, arriving for my Tuesday shift. “Can I talk to you in your office for a moment?” My voice is shaky.

“Sure.” She turns her head towards the treatment room. “Ebb, can you come up front?” she yells.

“Coming,” Ebb’s voice comes from the back.

We start walking towards her office, and I’m fidgeting already.
Why am I doing this?

As she leads me into the room and closes the door behind her, she sees the struggle in my eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asks with true concern.

“I have to give you my notice,” I mumble, though I try not to.

“What? Why?”

“Paxton thinks it’s best if I go join him on the road with Tate and Shilah. He needs me.”

“Lia, I need you, too.”

“I know, and I don’t want to let you down, but what other choice do I have? I made a deal with Paxton. You’re getting more volunteers, and with my full-time salary gone you may even be able to hire another doctor to do your two days off.”

“That’s not the only reason I need you, Lia. I love that I get to spend time with you here. I love watching you learn, and I know you don’t exactly enjoy it here, but… I don’t know. I guess I just love that this is our little thing that we get to do together.”

“Well maybe I can come back and volunteer sometimes,” I say, forcing a smile. I mean, that’s not exactly what I’d want – it’s hard enough getting me to come here when I’m being paid, but what Aunt Kenna is saying is true. I love that we have something that’s just ours that has nothing do with the rest of the family.

“I’d love that,” Kenna says with a small, sad smile.

***

I make it through my Tuesday shift with only a little bit of complaint from Ebb. Okay, a lot of complaint. She’s pissed I’m going campaigning with Paxton, but I know she’ll get over it eventually.

Today’s Wednesday though. Jayce will be coming in to work tonight to take over from my day shift, and I’m going to have to tell him. Part of me wants to skip out early like I did last night to avoid him, but if I do that again, I’ll have to tell him on Saturday where we have a whole shift together. At least today I can tell him and then leave, giving him a few days to get over it before I see him again.

It’s getting close to the time he’s due to come in, and my nerves have been slowly building over the last six hours to a point where I think I’m about to throw up.
Why am I getting so worked up over this?

The door opens, and he walks in with a scowl on his face. He already looks like he’s in a bad mood. Maybe I should just tell him on Saturday. He walks behind the reception desk, dumps his bag, and keeps walking until he reaches me. Without stopping, he grabs my wrist and drags me into the supply closet.

“Is it true?” he asks, once we’re inside and the door is shut.

“Is what—”

“You’re leaving?”

“Who told—”

“Jamie.” How did he…? Oh, right, Ebb.

“It’s true. It’s not something I want to do. It’s something I have to do,” I try to explain.

“Is this because of the photo?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t even show him the photo, just the note. But he’d already made up his mind before I even gave him that. He needs me on the road with him.”

“No he doesn’t, not as much as your aunt needs you here. Not as much as I want you here,” he says before he shakes his head in confusion. “Why didn’t you show him the photo? I mean – there’s nothing going on between us, so it wouldn’t have mattered, right?” His lips turn up into a half-smile.

I avoid eye contact with him, glancing down at my feet. “I don’t know why I didn’t show him. It was a last-second thing where I shoved it under my pillow instead.”

“You sleep with a photo of me under your pillow? Damn, you must have it bad for me.” He laughs.

I swallow hard, not really knowing how to respond to that. “It doesn’t matter how I feel about you because nothing could ever happen. Not until I’m free of Paxton… which at this rate, might be never.”

“I think that’s the closest you’ve come to actually admitting that you like me.”

“I do,” I whisper, like I’m ashamed. “But—”

I’m cut off by Jayce’s soft lips on mine, his strong arms around me. His kiss is reserved at first, unsure if this is okay or not. When my mouth opens, accepting his, he pulls me in tighter, his kiss becomes more urgent. My body reflexively reacts to his, moulding to him. I’ve never felt this kind of spark – this jolt of need – with anyone, not even Chad.

This thought sobers me. I come to my senses and will myself to break the connection, as hard as it is to do. I’m breathless, hot, and I’m certain I’m bright red. “What are you doing to me?” I complain. He’s certainly not making this easy on me.

“Just showing you what you could have if you stay,” he whispers, not removing his hands from around my back. Our faces are still only centimetres away from each other.

Running my hands up his arms and across to his chest, I whisper, “I can’t stay. And this can’t happen again.” I manage to sound slightly convincing as I say it. It’s even more convincing when I push myself away from him and walk out of the room.

I grab my bag and quickly head for the exit. Jayce leans on the doorframe to the supply closet, watching me leave.

As I walk the few blocks home, I think about his lips on mine, and I suddenly don’t care where it happened, when it happened, or how it happened. I just want it to happen again.

I wince at my own thoughts.
No, it can’t happen again.

***

Ebbodine stands in front of the reception desk, holding out a coffee for me as I arrive for my Saturday night shift at the clinic. She has a suspicious smile on her face, and my nerves kick in immediately. What has she done now?

“I have a surprise for you,” she says with a cheeky smile.

“Why does that fill me with dread?” I ask, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Ugh,” she slouches, “Come on.”

She grabs my arm and starts dragging me, my coffee spilling all over my hand. I place it on the reception desk as she continues to drag me to the bathroom, where I find a mini-skirt and black top hanging from the window sill.

“What is this?” I ask.

“You have the night off,” she says matter-of-factly.

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” She grabs my hand and starts dragging me back out of the bathroom, past reception, and into the treatment area. With how fast she’s moving and how erratic she is, I wonder just how much coffee she’s had tonight. “See,” she says, pointing at Aunt Kenna who’s showing around two people in scrubs whom I’ve never seen before.

“Aunt Kenna gave you and Jayce the night off. Since that article, we’ve had heaps of interest in volunteering here. The two girls over there are nursing students.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner? I could’ve stayed in bed.”

“No. You have a Saturday night off, you’re not going to spend it in bed. Allira, it’s
Saturday
night. When do we ever get a Saturday off?”

“Uh, never?”

“Exactly!” she exclaims.

“Why don’t you take the night off then if you want it so badly?”

“Ah, because it turns out your Aunt Kenna is as cunning and manipulative as me,” she replies with a proud smile.

“What?”

She grabs my hand, and
again
with the dragging. We get back to the reception desk where Jayce is standing in jeans and a tight-fitting button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair is messed, like it was purposefully done that way, and he looks amazing.

“She’ll be right with you,” Ebb says to Jayce, continuing to drag me back to the bathroom. He gives me a sympathetic stare as I go by. “Now. Get dressed,” she orders.

“Ebb,” I start to protest.

“Nope. You can’t blame me for this one. This is all your aunt’s doing. I’m just here to enforce what she wants.” Ebb’s face is almost giddy.

I find myself about to smile, but I push it away. Forcing a sigh like I’m disappointed, I reach for the clothes. I don’t want her to know that I actually want this, even though I shouldn’t be doing it.

“Good girl. Now hurry up so I can do your makeup.”

“Makeup? Really? You brought your makeup here? He’s already seen me without it. He’ll think I’m making an effort.”

“Good.”

We exit the bathroom after Ebb ‘beautifies’ me, and walk in to the end of Aunt Kenna telling Jayce that we deserve the night off with how much work we’ve been doing.

“You two should go out and have fun,” Aunt Kenna says to me.

Grabbing my coffee off the desk, I down the entire thing in one gulp – perfect drinking temperature.

“I’m ready,” I say as we start making our way out of the clinic. Turning to say goodbye to Ebb and Aunt Kenna, they both have suspicious conspirator’s smiles plastered across their faces.

“I just want to say that this wasn’t my idea,” Jayce says as soon as we’re outside.

“Hmm, that smile of yours says otherwise.”

“Well I didn’t say I think it’s a
bad
idea.” His smile disappears when he sees the hesitation in me. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I should’ve come after…” he looks down at his feet briefly before meeting my eyes. “This doesn’t have to be like a date. I can take you to the least romantic place possible if you want? Some uni friends are going to the bar on campus if you want to go there. Nothing says unromantic like drunken students.”

“I guess that sounds safe.”

“Safe? You worried I’m going to attack you? Because I’m pretty sure you can handle yourself,” he says pointing to his face that’s completely healed now, but the memory remains.

My hand goes up to my mouth to hide my smile. “I really am sorry.”

“You’ve apologised enough. And it’d be more convincing if you weren’t laughing.”

“Sorry,” I say again, trying to stifle it.

“So what did you mean by ‘safe’? Really?” he asks.

“Safe as in very unromantic like you said.”

“Ah. Scared you’ll fall victim to my charm if I romance you?”

I shake my head. “Let’s just go already.”
I think I’m already falling for his charm.

“My car is over here,” he says, leading the way.

We pull up to the bar fifteen minutes later. The outside looks dingy and dirty, and the air smells of stale beer and that cleaning stuff we have at the clinic that soaks up vomit.
Charming.

“So this is your world,” I say. “I didn’t think it would smell so bad.”

Jayce laughs. “Yeah, I used to spend many nights here before the clinic. You get used to the smell.” He grabs my hand and starts leading me in. “It’s not as bad inside.”

He lets go of my hand once we’re inside, my disappointment embarrassingly obvious. The inside of the bar is not much better than the outside. Smell-wise it’s an improvement, but it feels like my retinas are being burned by neon lighting. Where in the world do you even get neon lighting from these days? That’s so last century.

The music is dim and on the quiet side which is a welcome surprise for a uni bar. The atmosphere is relaxed, and it seems like a casual place to hang out. I can see why Jayce would spend a lot of time here.

He leads me over to a table with four people already seated. One of the guys stands up, giving Jayce a man hug. He’s shorter than Jayce, but nearly everyone is.

“Dude! I thought you were working at that
Defective
place tonight?” he says.

“Managed to get the night off,” Jayce says, not bothering to pull him up on the condescending tone. “Robbie this is Allira, Allira – Robbie.”

“Nice to meet you,” Robbie says politely, reaching out and shaking my hand.

Jayce grabs two chairs from another table, bringing them over for us to sit.

“Beer?” Robbie offers.

“No thanks, I’m driving,” Jayce replies.

“Allira?”

“No, thanks. I’m good for now.”

I don’t feel like drinking tonight. All I see around me is inebriated people everywhere, and others trying to catch up to the same state of drunkenness.

Jayce introduces me to the others at the table, two girls, Whit and Max, although I don’t know which one’s which, and the other guy, Ryan.

“So how do you and Jayce know each other?” the blonde girl asks with Ebb-like peppiness. The other – the brunette girl – looks at me with less than friendly eyes. “Is this like a date?”

Jayce and I look at each other with the same smile. “No,” we say in unison.

“I work at the clinic, too,” I say.

“Oh!” the blonde girl says, surprised. “What’s it like working with…
them?
” She’s way too excited. I can tell already that she’s going to be one of
those
people
.
The kind of person who likes to pretend she’s all-knowing, she’s all pro-Defective, but actually knows nothing and frequently says offensive things, even though she doesn’t mean to. Their hearts are generally in the right place, but they’ve just never been around us enough to know what’s acceptable and what’s not.