Defending Hayden: A Second Chances Novel (2 page)

The only time I’d visited Brianna’s grave was the day of her funeral, but I’d been too fucked up to remember how I even got there. The walk to her gravestone was enough to rip my heart apart. No wonder I didn’t want to feel. I could barely fucking breathe. The yellow lilies in my hand were her favorite. Every time I pissed her off, all it took was a bouquet of them to make her happy. It didn’t matter what I’d done, she’d always forgive me once she found those on her doorstep.

However, it’d take a million lilies to get her to forgive me for what I’d done recently. I could only imagine what she’d say if she knew I’d spent most of my nights getting fucked up and screwing countless women. She’d be disgusted. Hell, I was disgusted with myself. The closer I got to her grave, the harder it was for my legs to move. After eight months of hell, it was time I faced her.

Swallowing hard, I knelt down and placed the flowers on the ground. I looked around, but the cemetery was desolate. There were no sounds other than the birds chirping in the nearby trees and the wind whistling through the branches. I almost convinced myself I could hear her laughing—the same laugh that had caught my attention when she’d joined the Carolina Cougars cheerleading squad a couple of years ago. I’d give anything to hear her laugh just one more time.

Clouds started to roll in and thunder rumbled in the distance. It was a typical summer day in North Carolina. The storms could sweep in and then move out in a heartbeat. That was how I felt, tossed back and forth. Bowing my head, I rested my hand on her gravestone.

“I’m sorry, Bri. I know no amount of flowers and apologies will make up for what I’ve done. I’m not making excuses other than I’ve missed you so goddamned much. I didn’t know how to handle it, especially after…” I stopped and closed my eyes, clenching my hands into tight fists. “After I lost not only you but our child as well,” I finished. My throat closed up and I let the tears fall. I never fucking cried, but it was the first time I’d let myself truly feel since she’d been gone. The thunder vibrated the ground, but I didn’t want to leave. If I got struck by lightning, I didn’t care; I had to ask for her forgiveness.

“I love you, Brianna, but it’s time I let you go. I don’t want to, but I have to face the fact that you’re not coming back, that I’ll never see your face again. You believed in me, and now I have to believe in myself. I just hope you can forgive me for all the stupid shit I’ve done.”

The rain started to fall, but when I looked up at the sky, the clouds broke and a ray of sunshine shone through. Maybe it was a sign, or it could simply be our sporadic weather. Either way, I had to believe anyone could be redeemed, and I was going to make damn sure I worked hard to achieve that for myself.

I had just arrived at the Carolina Tavern and parked my truck when a text came through on my phone.

Evan:
You’re not standing me up, are you?

Me:
Keep your panties on and watch the front door.

I got out and headed toward the entrance, pocketing my phone. I opened the door, expecting to see Evan waiting for me at the bar. He was there, but he wasn’t alone; the whole damn football team was there. What the fuck were they doing?

“It’s about time you showed up,” Evan teased, putting his arm around me.

Winking, Cooper came up on my other side and stood in front of the door, blocking it. “Just in case you try to escape,” he said.

“What is this?” I grumbled.

Evan waved a hand at the room. “It’s a party. Well, an intervention, actually. All the guys have been dying to see you.”

Huffing, I glared at him and Cooper. “You had this planned, didn’t you?”

They looked at each other. “Not exactly,” Cooper admitted. “None of us knew when you were coming back. We were just prepared for when you did. The guys want you back on the team, and I don’t think they’re going to let you leave tonight until you promise you’ll show up for practice tomorrow.”

“What are they going to do if I don’t?” I asked loudly, so everyone could hear. Some of the guys smirked and cracked their knuckles, but it was Chris Waters, our biggest and best defensive lineman, who burst out laughing.

“Keep it up, McLaughlin. There’ll be hell to pay if you don’t show up. I’m not afraid of your sexy ass,” he teased, marching toward me. Evan held me in place while Chris wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me in the air. Guffawing, he squeezed me with all his might and then set me down. “Damn, dude, it’s good to see you.”

Chris was another of my closest friends. We were the jokesters out of the crew. Hopefully, he’d kept them in good spirits while I was gone.

“It’s good to see you, too,” I croaked, struggling to breathe. He let me go and dragged me to the bar where Grayson, co-owner of the Carolina Tavern, stood waiting for us. He held out his hand and I shook it.

“Long time no see, D. Welcome back.”

I chuckled. “Thanks. I have to say, I missed this place.”

“It missed you, too. There hasn’t been as much laughter in here since you left.”

“That’s going to change,” Chris announced, chugging down the rest of his beer. He waved his hand in the air, grabbing everyone’s attention. “The first round is on me!”

The guys hooted and piled up at the bar, but Grayson acknowledged me first. “What’ll it be for you?”

“Just water, please.”

Nodding, he poured a glass and passed it to me before working on the rest of the orders.

Chris’s smile faded and he sighed. “Fuck, I’m sorry, D. I should’ve known better.”

Shrugging, I held the water in my hands. “It’s okay. I just think it’s best that I stay away from alcohol for a while.”

He slapped me on the shoulder. “I understand, brother. Just feel free to kick me in the ass if I ever do anything stupid like this again.”

“You do realize that’s all the time, right?”

His gaze narrowed, but then he smiled. “Jackass.”

“Coming through,” a voice called. Lara Jacobs pushed through the crowd, carrying a loaded plate of my favorite dish: chicken wings. She came behind the bar and set them in front of me. “When I heard you were coming, I had the chefs make these up.”

She looked exactly like her twin sister, Summer Jacobs, Evan’s fiancée and the other owner of the Carolina Tavern. I breathed in the smell of the wings and sighed. “And that’s why I love you,” I told her.

She winked and walked over to my side of the bar to give me a hug. “Anything for my favorite player.”

“Hey, I thought I was your favorite player,” Evan grumbled, nudging her in the side. “I’m about to be your brother-in-law.”

Giggling, she slapped him on the arm. “I can have more than one favorite, Townsend. Besides, you lose points because you’re making me walk down the aisle with your sorry excuse for a best friend.” Luke Collins, Evan’s closest friend, had been desperate to get Lara back after making the stupid decision to leave her following their one-night stand. The night of the accident, Luke and Brianna had talked, and she’d given him some advice on getting Lara back. Obviously, he hadn’t done a very good job so far.

Evan put his arm around her. “I know, and I’m sorry, but he
is
my best friend.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s okay, I’ll get over it. I only have to touch him for a few seconds.”

Evan chuckled and said, “That’s the spirit,” before strolling off.

“I take it things never got settled between you and Luke?” I asked.

She scoffed and waved her hand dismissively in the air. “It’s only gotten more complicated. But you’re not here to talk about my love life. Enjoy the night, and I’ll come talk to you once everything settles down. The boys put in a massive order of food, and I need to help out in the kitchen.” Then her eyes went wide when she spotted something over my shoulder. “Wow, I can’t believe
he
showed up.”

“Who?” I asked, turning around.

Standing by the door was none other than Jaxon Reed, our star kicker. I’d heard there was talk about him being traded to another team, but I would have been surprised if the team managers had approved it. Most of the guys on our team hated him, especially Evan, after Jax tried to steal Summer away from him. But he was the best kicker in the league, and everyone knew it.

Looking straight at me, Jaxon ignored the snarls from some of the others and approached me. “I heard you were back,” he said, holding out his hand. “I came to see how you’re doing. It’s been a while.”

I shook his hand. “Thanks, I guess. I didn’t think you’d give a shit. You never cared before.” He was good at sabotaging things and had even been investigated for his involvement in the accident. He and one of the team cheerleaders, Lindsey Rink, had schemed to break up Evan and Summer by making Summer believe Evan had slept with Lindsey. Evan had kicked Jaxon’s ass and made a fool of him, so we’d all thought the accident was his way of payback. It was known that Jax wanted Summer, and when all the shit went down, he was the first one everyone accused. In the end, he was innocent, but the speculation had tarnished his name with our team.

Jaw clenched, Jaxon nodded. “And I didn’t care until everything was taken away from me. It wasn’t fun being suspended from the games.”

I shrugged, not giving a shit about his sob story. “You brought it on yourself.”

“I’m not here to fight,” he said quietly, gazing around the room. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for everything. The team’s really lucky to have you back. I’ll see you at practice?”

Jaxon usually had a smirk on his face, but tonight he was different. For the first time since I’d known him, he seemed genuine. Slapping him on the shoulder, I met him with a smile. “I’ll think about it. Good luck to you, though. It’s gonna be tough with everything’s that happened.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it,” he said, turning on his heel. A couple of the guys caught him at the door, but he slid past them without saying a word.

“What did fuckhead want?” Evan asked.

“To see how I was doing. It’ll be strange being back at practice with him. Hopefully he won’t run his mouth.”

“No shit. I already kicked his ass once.” But then Evan froze and smiled. “Wait, did you just admit you’re coming to practice?”

I chuckled. “I guess I did.” I’d known all along that I wanted to go back, but seeing the team had sealed the deal for me. They were my family.

Evan hollered and waved his hands in the air. “Listen up, everyone! Our mission’s been accomplished. D’s coming back!”

The guys clapped, and everyone in the restaurant who wasn’t a part of our group looked on in wonderment. “Thanks, Townsend,” I grumbled. “Now everyone in the place is staring at me.”

“Better get used to it. Once the press finds out you’re back, all they’ll talk about is you.”

As much as I wanted to avoid that, I knew it’d be inevitable. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” I admitted.

His smile faded. “You’ll be fine, I promise. If you want, you can sneak off to Summer’s office for a while. I know this is a lot to take in on your first night home.”

“That it is,” I said with a nod. “I think I’ll just get some fresh air. Can I go out the back?”

“Go for it. Everyone will understand.”

Releasing a sigh, I walked past our group of guys, saying hello in passing. I could really have used a drink, but I refused to give in.

The restaurant was unusually packed for a Monday night. I found a parking spot at the back of the restaurant and hoped it was okay to go in through the back door. There was no sign that said otherwise. My phone rang just as I was about to enter, and when I pulled it out of my purse, the restaurant door swung open so fast it hit my hands, knocking my phone out of my grasp and onto the pavement.

“Oh no,” I shouted, cringing when I saw the screen had cracked. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I should’ve bought a protective case the second I got my new phone the day before. Stupid me, I’d wanted a good one and ordered it off the Internet. Now it was too late.

“Fuck,” the guy said, pausing after barreling out of the door. “I am so sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am. That was a brand-new phone,” I said, bending down. He put his hand on my shoulder and picked up the phone before I could get it. Whoever he was, he was dressed in a pair of distressed jeans and a tight blue shirt that hugged his muscles perfectly. Usually I saw the same people at the tavern, but he was definitely new. He tried to turn my phone on, and it wouldn’t comply.

“Looks like it’s broken,” he murmured regretfully, handing it back to me. I looked up at him and froze, meeting his light blue gaze. Why did he look so familiar? He was tall, with dark auburn hair and a body that could put any man’s to shame. “Let me buy you a new one,” he offered, drawing me out of my stupor.

“A new one?” I asked, mouth gaping.

He nodded. “It’s my fault it’s broken.”

I stared at his eyes and almost got lost in those blue depths before reality struck. “No, that’s silly. I bought an extended warranty in case something like this happened. I’ll just get another one tomorrow.”

“But that doesn’t do you any good tonight.” He pulled out his phone. “Take mine for now. That way you’ll have something in case there’s an emergency.”
Who is this guy?
When I didn’t take his phone, he grabbed my hand and wrapped my fingers around it. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“I don’t even know you. Why would you offer to do this?”

He shrugged. “Just seems like the right thing to do.” Turning on his heel, he started toward a large black truck, and the lights flashed as he unlocked it.

“Wait!” I shouted. He glanced back at me, lifting his brows. “How will I get in touch with you to return it?”

He nodded at the phone and then looked at me, a small grin spreading across his lips. “Don’t worry, I know how to get in touch with you.” I couldn’t help but stand there in amazement as he got in his truck and drove away. It was the strangest encounter I’d ever had.
What kind of person gives his phone away to a stranger?

Whoever he was, I had no intention of using his phone. First thing tomorrow morning, I was getting a new one. Opening my purse, I placed both phones inside and walked into the restaurant. My best friend and coworker, Michael Briggs, waved at me from across the room. He was still in his green scrubs from Stonebrooke Veterinary Hospital, just like I was.

Always the gentleman, Michael stood and pulled out my chair for me. A lady at the table beside us asked the man she was with why he didn’t do that for her. Michael was a Southern gentleman, handsome with dark brown hair and amazing green eyes. The ladies loved him.

“Where have you been? I tried calling.”

Sighing, I sat down. “It’s a long story. It starts off being stuck at the clinic talking to Wilford.” Wilford Bentley was our employer, the owner of Stonebrooke. I loved the man to death, but he sure did like to talk. “And then,” I said, pulling out my cracked phone, “I got hit by a door and I dropped my phone.”

“Ouch, how did that happen?” Michael asked.

I set it in front of him. “Some guy opened the back door and it knocked my phone out of my hands.”

“Who did it?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know his name. He left after it happened.”

Our waitress came up, smiling wide. “Good evening. Would you care for something to drink?” she asked me. She was young, probably late teens, with light brown hair.

“Can I have a sweet tea, please?”

Her gaze lingered on Michael and then came back to me. “Of course. I’ll be right back.” Michael lifted his glass to his lips, trying to hide his smile but failing. I said, “You should seriously stop smiling at women. They’re going to think you’re interested in them.”

“What am I supposed to do, scowl? I can’t help being friendly.”

I rolled my eyes. “And then you’ll break all their hearts when you tell them you’re gay. You’re the only guy I know who could get a different female every day of the week. You should see the way Jeremiah looks at you.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Bad doesn’t describe it. He hates that all the nurses fawn all over you.”

Michael brushed off his shoulders, grinning devilishly. “I can’t help it that he’s as interesting as a bag of bricks. The guy has no personality whatsoever. It’s his own damn fault he can’t get any pussy.”

“And then here the gay guy is, bringing it all in.” I laughed.

He scoffed. “He’ll get over it. Besides, the dude’s hard up for you. I think he gets pissed because you’re always with me.” That was the last thing I wanted to think about.

The waitress came back with my sweet tea, and we ordered our food. I was starving. We’d had a person come into the clinic with a box full of malnourished puppies they’d found in a Dumpster behind our local grocery store. The poor things were close to death, but Michael and I had spent the entire day tending to them. I still didn’t know if they were going to make it, but we were hoping for the best. One of my nurses, Amanda Oliver, had taken them home with her so she could feed them during the night.

Michael pointed down at my phone. “Do you need me to cover for you tomorrow morning so you can get a new phone?”

“That’d be great, if you don’t mind. However,” I said, pulling out the one the guy had given me, “I have this one to tide me over in case I can’t get away.”

Brow furrowed, Michael took a sip of his beer. “Where did that one come from?”

“From the guy who hit me with the door. He told me to keep it until I got a new one.”

He sat back, surprised. “Wow, that’s interesting. Who was he?” Then his attention focused on the large group behind us, and his eyes went wide. “Wait, it wasn’t one of the Cougars, was it?”

“Why would it be one of them?” I asked.

Sighing, he waved toward the bar. “Because the whole team is here. Did you not see them when you walked in?”

I glanced behind me at the herd of men laughing and carrying on at the bar. “I guess I was too busy looking for you to notice,” I said, turning back to him. “Besides, I don’t watch football. I wouldn’t recognize any of them if I saw them on the street.”

He stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “We’re going to have to remedy that. When pre-season starts, you’re coming to my house to watch a game. I’ll get you broken in.” Our food came, and I stole one of his fries when he was busy gawking at the players. “I saw that,” he said.

“I just took one.” It was the same thing every time. I never ordered fries because I knew I’d be tempted to eat every last one on my plate. That was why I always stole one or two from him.

“So what did this guy look like? Did he look like a football player?”

Pursing my lips, I closed my eyes and pictured those light blue eyes staring down at me and the way his arm muscles had tightened when he bent down to pick up my phone. “Now that you mention it, he probably could be. He was tall, with reddish-brown hair.”

Mouth gaping, Michael dropped his fork. “Are you kidding? That sounds like Derek McLaughlin. He’s the only one on the team with reddish hair.”

I burst out laughing. “I knew you liked football, but I didn’t realize you were
that
into it to know what they all look like. But I don’t know if it’s him or not.” Michael pulled out his phone and typed away. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m going to find a picture of him. I have to know.” When he turned the screen my way, I gasped. The guy was in his football uniform, all dirty and sweaty during a game, but it was definitely him.

“That’s him,” I said. He grabbed Derek’s phone and started searching through it. I tried to get it back, but he pulled it away. “What are you doing?”

“If this is his phone, I want to see what he has on it.”

“Michael, stop, it’s private. We can’t look through his stuff.”

He shrugged. “Hey, if he was willing to let you use it, he should’ve known what would happen.” Huffing, I sat back while he looked at the phone in awe. “There are some great pictures on here. Looks like he must’ve been out West when he took that time off after the accident.”

When he passed me the phone, I couldn’t help but look at the pictures. They were beautiful, with tons of snowcapped mountains. I was shocked that there weren’t any with other people. “What accident are you talking about?”

He shook his head incredulously. “Do you not ever watch the news?”

“Obviously not. What happened?”

“First off, Derek McLaughlin is our best linebacker, with record-breaking interceptions. He was in an accident with Evan Townsend and one of the team cheerleaders, Brianna Ward; she and Derek were dating at the time. They were on Stowe Road when someone ran them off the road. Brianna didn’t survive, and Derek almost didn’t, either.”

“Oh my God, he lost her? That’s so tragic. Did they catch the person who ran them off the road?”

He nodded. “Eventually they did, but Derek was fucked up after that. He left the team and disappeared. I guess he’s back now. It’d be great if he is, because the team needs him. They play so much better with him there.”

My chest ached as I looked down at Derek’s phone, at the lonely pictures. “That’s so sad. I can’t imagine going through something like that. He was very friendly, though.”

A wide grin spread across Michael’s face. “I’d hope so. You’re a good-looking woman, Hayden. He’d be stupid not to notice.”

I glared at him. “Don’t even think about it, Michael. I hate it when you try to play matchmaker. Besides, he’s a professional football player. Those guys go after the glamorous girls.”

“Not true, sweetheart. You’re just scared of getting your heart broken. Just because you had a bad relationship in college doesn’t mean every guy is going to hurt you.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I said, taking a bite of my salmon. “I’m not interested in anyone right now, and I like it that way.” I didn’t have time for a relationship, and I definitely wasn’t going to start with someone out of my reach.