Define Me (22 page)

It
was 4:30am I didn’t sleep at all, I kept on waking up from the noises in the house and the nightmares of Hunter did not help much.  His words were haunting me. 

"If I can't have you no one will and that is a promise" 

I didn’t tell anyone this, after all this I still wanted to believe there was some humanity left in Hunter he was just lost and needed help.  Maybe if I phoned his mom and talked to her, maybe they could help.  It was too early to phone Annie; I would wait until after breakfast.

I needed to go for a run; I needed to clear my head.  Before I use to get lost in my music and my volleyball, but I didn’t want to think about volleyball, if it had not been for that stupid newspaper article about the Volleyball tournament Hunter would never have found me, but then I would never have met Vincent either.  I was so sick of all this, I just needed to get out.  I walked into the kitchen to find Vincent and my dad already having coffee. 

“Wow you’re here early.”

“Yeah, I got here
10 minutes ago, your dad was outside.”

“Morning my darling, did you sleep ok?”

“I’m ok Dad; do you want to go for a run, Vincent?”

“It’s still a bit dark, we can go in a little later.”

“Ok”

I was a little disappointed I needed to be alone with Vincent, I needed him to hold me but I didn’t want to do that in front of my dad. 

“Well you two kids have coffee down here, I will take your mom her coffee in bed, and you know how grumpy she gets when she doesn’t get her fix early in the morning.”

“I’m going to tell mom you said that.”

“She knows it is the truth. Love you my baby girl.”

“Love you too dad.” 

My dad
went upstairs leaving Vincent and me alone.  I could feel something was wrong that he was holding back.  I wondered what really happened yesterday at his house.

“You want some more coffee?”

“Yes please, I’m going to need it, I didn’t sleep last night and from the look on your face I don’t think you slept either.”

“No I didn’t, my head feels like it wants to explode.  I just need to go for a run, I need the sea, and I need the sound to drown out the voices in my head.”

“Come sit by me for a bit.  I need to hold you, last night was too long.”

I went over to where Vincent was sitting; he pushed the chair back to make space for me. 

“I missed you last night; I can only sleep when I am in your arms.  My parents are going home today, Dads working tomorrow.  Then you can sleep over again.”

Vincent didn’t say anything just put his arms around me and hugged me tightly.  Something was wrong and I could feel it.  I hoped all this shit with Hunter had not scared Vincent off, all my shadows had come between us. 

“What is going on Vincent, I can feel something is different, you are freaking me out …what?”

“No baby, is not you, damn I don’t know how to tell you, with all that is going on right now.”

“Just tell me, Vincent!”

“My mom called last night, my Nana is really ill and it doesn’t look good, my mom asked us all to come home and see her, it might be the last time. I am sorry, I wish it was different, I wish I could stay.  Shit Cat I am worried I just don’t know what else to do”

“I’m not going to lie to you, I am freaking out, I need you but I understand you need to go, your family comes first.”

“It’s not like that right now you are the most important person in my life, but it doesn’t look good, she might not make it.  I need to see her before its too late.  I will make it back as soon as I can.”

I put my fingers on Vincent’s lips. 

“Stop, you need to go your family needs you, I will never forgive myself if you don’t get to say goodbye.  We will make a plan, the police will find him, and he will not get to me.”

“Caitlin, I’m just so worried about you.  Don’t you want to come with me, and then at least I know you are safe.”

“Vincent, I can’t this is a time for you and your family and I have class, I have missed so much already.  Heather and Cole will be here and we can ask those friends of Brent to help.”

“I understand, it’s just hard, I feel like I am letting you down by leaving.”

“You’re not, I promise you, I will miss you like crazy but I understand and there is no other way.”

“I was awake the whole night stressing about this and the fact that I need to ask Brent to look after you is stressing me out even more, I don’t feel good about that guy, I know he cares for you and I think if I can’t be here he is the best one to ask.”

“B R E N T!  No why him?”

“He has been there for you before and he is the only other person that really knows what Hunter is capable of doing.”

“Oh, well when you put it like that, you are right, but you really have nothing to worry about.”

“Not worry about Hunter getting to you yes, but Brent with you is a whole other story.  I see the way he looks at you and I don’t like it.  I love you Caitlin and I only want you to be safe.”

“I love you to Vincent but really there is nothing to be worried about between Brent and me.  We were hardly friends at school, the only connection we had was the fact that Hunter took his frustrations out on both of us that is it.”

“I hope you are right, just a big brother complex from Brent’s side.  But you need to know I will fight for what is mine and you are mine.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, you are mine too. Talking about that have you heard from Rebecca again?”

“No, nothing to worry about on that side, I think she got the message.”

“Good, now can we please go for a run?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Vincent and I went for a long run; neither of us was talking.  Deep inside I was a wreck, I didn’t want him to go, and I needed him.  I was terrified Hunter would come back for me.  Seeing what he was capable of scares me.  Then there was the Brent thing I sure as hell didn’t want to be alone with Brent.  I was a big mouth, there was nothing between Brent and me, but I could see it in his eyes too just like me he was affected this afternoon when he held me in his arms.  I loved Vincent so what was that feeling I got with Brent today.  It was freaking me out but I can’t show Vincent that.  I just need to make sure I limit time I spent with Brent alone. Heather would have to do her BFF duties and stay by my side I needed her. It was a quite morning on the beach only a few more runners out.  I needed that so much, it was the one place I could calm my mind. 

“Hey, you ok, you have been very quiet?”

“Yes I’m fine just trying to clear my head.”

“You want to come to the shop for breakfast, Cole will only be in later and I’m sure your little friend is still fast asleep, I will make it a quickie, have been fantasizing of having you on my desk.”

“V I N C E N T, … OK!”

I hated watching Vincent walk away it was torture; I didn’t want him to go with the fire at Vincent’s place and the phone call to me, Brent and his team had gone on high alert.  After our “breakfast” at the shop that morning Vincent gave Brent a call and asked to meet with him.

Brent would be my shadow until Hunter was caught or Vincent got back.  You could have cut the tension with a knife; I understood how Vincent felt and Brent was not helping the situation, by calling me princess every chance he got.  (If it wasn’t that we needed Brent I think Vincent would have punched his lights out that day.  It was not funny I know but it is kinda nice seeing Vincent all worked up, he was not shy to admit he was jealous.)

I drove back home with Heather and Cole, I asked Brent to rather not come to the airport, so I assumed he was waiting back at the house.  Vincent arranged that Brent or one of the security guys slept at the house with us just to be safe.  

“Hey girl, you ok?  You haven’t said a word since we left the airport.”

“Um, yeah I’m ok, I just miss Vincent.”

“I know, but he will be back soon enough.” 

“Yeah, you
’re right.”

“So what you want to do?  Go home or go out for supper.”

“I don’t know what ever.”

“I will stay with you girls tonight, won’t need Brent’s services for tonight.”

“What is wrong with Brent sticking around, he’s an old school friend.  Caitlin and will be fine with him or are you jealous as well?”

“Jealous of what, I just don’t like him.”

“Ok then, if you say so, who am I to argue?”

“OMG you guys are all the same.”

“Oh yeah, I need to protect what is ours.”

“Whatever, just take us to a good pizza place, I need carbs and lots of wine.”

Whil
st we drove to god knows where, I got a text from Vincent.”

Vincent: Miss you all ready.

Me:  Miss you 2

Vincent:  Are you still with Cole and Heather? 

Me:  Yes, Cole is playing superhero and decided he will be staying with us tonight protecting what is yours.

Vincent:  That’s a good man, he knows which side his bread is buttered.

Me:  We’re on our way to get some pizza and then heading back home. 

Vincent:  Great, I better go we are about to take off.  I will let you know when I land.  I LOVE YOU. 

Me:  I love you more.

It was going to be a freaking long week. 

“I changed my mind, can we get take-away, really not in the mood for people.”

“Sure thing, let’s go home and order in. Do you at least have something to drink?”

“Yes all sorted.” 

“Caitlin, please tell me you are going to be a little more sociable, you really killing the mood here.”

“Whatever Heather, just take me home and I will get out of your way, so sorry I’m such a buzz kill.”

“Ouch.”

I was not in the mood, I was miserable with every minute away from Vincent, my mood is turning darker; I should have gone with him.  My gut was telling me something was going to go wrong, I just wanted to be in Vincent’s arms.  I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.  I turned my head to the window, the sun was almost totally down and a soft misty rain was falling.  Perfect for the mood I was in. 

Cole barely parked the car and I
was out running up the stairs to the front door.  I saw Brent’s car parked in front of the house.  I didn’t want to face him either. 

“Caitlin wait, what’s it with you, you going to eat with us?”

“No sorry for snapping earlier, I just want to go to bed, see you in the morning.”

“Ok, see you in the morning if you need me just shout.”

“I will, good night”

I opened the front door and headed straight for my room; I closed the door behind me and slid down to the floor.  I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.  After I walked away from my relationship with Hunter, I thought things would change for the better but the
darkness
seemed to want to drag me back all the time. 

I needed a hot bubble bath; I took my phone and IPod with me.  (Phone just in case Vincent called and my IPod for my music.  Music has always been my escape from reality.)  I started pouring my bath before setting up my iPod. I wondered what time he would land ... I missed him. 

The steam misted up the room; I slipped into the bath submerging myself for a few seconds.  I pushed back up the fragrance of my lavender bubble bath it was so relaxing.  I just needed to close my eyes for a little while.  All of me by John Legend start playing, I drifted away in the memory of the night Vincent told me he loved me. 

I must have drifted off; I was woken up by a knock on the door.  The water had gone cold and the bubbles were all gone. 

“Cat, the food is here, you want to come down?”

I felt so much better; the relaxing bath seemed to have helped lift my mood. 

“Yes, I will be there now.”

I dressed into my PJ’s, not too worried about Cole; he had slept over enough times.  As I walked down the stairs I heard voices coming from the sitting room.  I walked in and I noticed Heather and Cole all tangled up, to my surprise Brent was also there.  Big mouth Cole, I thought he didn’t want Brent to spend the night.

Heather and Cole were sitting on the on couch and Brent was sitting on the other.  His one arm was resting on the back of the couch, he looked so relaxed.  Heather was telling stories of our time back at school.  He looked so carefree not at all the man I had seen the last few days.  There was no way I was going sit next to him not after yesterday.  I grabbed a pillow off the couch and parked myself on the floor next to the coffee table. 

“Are you quite comfortable on the floor there, you know I don’t bite princess.”

“Yes, thanks I am fine right here, just starving.”  

It was a great night, Cole warmed up to Brent after about an hour, and it didn’t look like he wanted to beat him up anymore.  I finally relaxed, (ok yes the wine helped a lot.  Between Heather and I, I think we finished 2 bottles.)  Brent started telling stories of Heather and I playing volleyball back in school.  I didn’t realize he even noticed us; he was always on his own doing his own thing, just him, his guitar and that beat up pick-up truck. 

“So Brent
tell me, what ever happened to that old Ford pick-up you used to drive back in school?”

“Old Sally, you remembered her?  I still have her, she is just resting a little, and she saw too much action back then.  I’m trying to restore her back to her old glory days but time and money are a bit of an issue, I will get there.”

“Yeah I can only imagine the type of action she had to see.  You were a bit of a player back in school, lots of cat fights to get your attention.”

“Oh is that so, did you get hurt in one of those cat fights?”

“WHAT, I don’t fight over a guy; I wait for them to fight over me.”  I shouldn’t have said that, the grin on Brent’s face told me exactly what he was thinking, I did not mean it like that.  (I wish sometimes I had a filter on my mouth; it has gotten me into so much trouble.)

“Is that a challenge, Princess?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I …”

Before I could finish my sentence Cole walked in from fetching his phone out of the car.  I could see he had a stressed look on his face and while he was looking at the screen the phone rang.  We all stopped talking; Cole looked at his phone and then looked up at me.  Oh shit what now. 

“Hey dude, how’s things going, how is grams?  … good glad to hear that, … yes I’m here, Caitlin is sitting having pizza with us, … she is fine … yes hang on I will give her the phone.”

Cole covered the phone with his hand while he handed it over to me. 

“He is pissed; I think you need to take the call upstairs.”

I looked at Cole in disbelief, what did I do wrong?  I was here the whole night under Cole’s watch. I took the phone from Cole and started walking to my room.  (What do I say, pretend everything is ok when I know it is not, or do I cower like I did with Hunter all those times?  Oh no I wouldn’t I had done nothing wrong, so why should I have felt bad.) 

“Hey babes, you miss me already?” 

Vincent d
idn’t even greet me properly, just started blasting me. 

“Where the hell have you been, I have been trying to get hold of you for over an hour now and nothing.  Where is your phone?  I asked you to keep your phone on you all the time and to phone me if anything happens.  I have been going out of my mind not even Cole was answering the phone.  What the hell Caitlin, I was ready to fly back. I …”

“Can you please stop talking and give a chance to explain, or should I just put the phone down?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Great, so let me tell you what happened.  Cole must have left his phone in the car and when we got home I got into the bath and put my phone on charge.  I must have forgotten it upstairs.  Nothing happened, Cole and Brent has been here the whole night, we safe.”

“What the fuck is Brent doing there?  I thought Cole said he was staying over and there was no need for Brent to be at the house.”

“I can’t answer that one, when I came down for supper Brent was inside
, they invited him for supper, nothing happened, why are you so upset about that, don’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you Cat, it is Brent I am worried about and you know that.  Being this far away from you is freaking me out and the fact that I can’t do anything about it, and then to top it all I’m the one that asked him to be there.  I feel like I made a mistake.”

I decided to calm down; I understood where Vincent was coming from.

“Yes I understand how you feel, but I promise you there is nothing to worry about.  I love you and I will not betray you.  You’re the man of my dreams, my everything.”

“I love you to babes, I wish I was there to hold you in my arms, I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.  So tell me how is your grams?”

“Not good, I sat with her a little tonight, she opened her eyes for a little, so I know she saw me, she is weak and the doctors aren’t too hopeful.  She is a fighter.  My mom said she had a severe stroke and there might be some damage to her speech and her motor skills, but it is too early to tell. My mom is taking this all very badly, being the only child; you can imagine how she feels.”

“Yeah, I do.” 

“I hope to be back on Friday.”

“Ok, well only six sleeps without you, I hope I can make it, you promise to put me to bed every night with a goodnight phone call?”

“Yeah, I will phone every night to tuck you in. Well I better go, speak to you soon. I love Caitlin.”

“Ditto, sweet dreams.”

Just before I walked out my room to give Cole his phone back; I picked mine up from the night stand.  Shit, 20 missed calls and just as many text messages, no wonder Vincent was freaking out.  I walked back to the lounge; everyone was looking at me waiting for me to say something.  I handed Cole his phone. 

“All’s fine, your forgiven.”

“Me for what?”

“For not answering his 20 million phone calls.”