Defining Moments (14 page)

“Hey, baby,” I say gently.

“Hi, Mama. Are you okay? Dad texted me and said Ben and Eli are on their way to the hospital and Julia’s in labor.”

“I’m fine, honey. Yeah, the boys stopped by here and then headed to the hospital. First labors can take forever, so they may be there a while,” I chuckle.

He doesn’t respond immediately and I know it’s because he’s trying to tell if I’m torn up about this. I will not show them my pain.

“Destry, I’m fine. You boys have to stop thinking I’m going to have a breakdown every time something happens with your dad. I really am fine,” I tell him sternly.

Silence.

“Well, then you won’t mind if I come home next weekend instead of you coming here?” he asks, his voice unsure.

“No, baby. I don’t mind at all. That’ll give you a chance to meet your sister, and we can sit down and have that chat you mentioned. Plus, that way I’ll get to see you here next weekend, and I can just reschedule my ticket to come there next month. Win for me.”

“Thanks for understanding, Mama. Dad said he’d get me a ticket, so I’ll be home late afternoon Friday. Can you pick me up?” he asks gleefully.

“Yep. Just let me know what time your flight arrives and I’ll be there. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you!” I laugh out.

“Sounds good. I’ll call you this weekend. Love you,” he calls out before I hear the click.

I finish putting the groceries away and head into my room to get ready to meet with Cord. Black slacks, a turquoise, silk, cap sleeve blouse, and my only pair of dress shoes. Obviously, I won’t be wearing them in the kitchen, but this afternoon is to fill out paperwork and meet the other employees. I’m definitely going to need to get a good pair of shoes for standing on my feet for long shifts.

I drive myself over to Saint, although I will probably walk when I do start working there. It’s only a couple of blocks and it’s beautiful this time of year. Maybe I’ll buy one of those cute little cruiser bicycles with the basket on the front. I could totally rock that.

When I pull into the parking lot on the side of the building, I notice Cord’s Range Rover parked beside the back door. Smiling to myself, I slide out of my Explorer and am heading toward the door when I hear giggling from behind a stack of bread crates at the loading dock a few feet away. Then I hear a groan and feel my cheeks redden instantly. Christ, there is someone getting it on back there. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon for crying out loud! I avoid looking in that direction and hurry to the door. Just as I reach for it, I hear a crash, and when I look toward the sound, two sets of eyes lock on mine and widen.

Holy hell!

Sami and Bishop!

I avert my eyes and walk into the building quickly. No wonder those two have so many kids. They can’t keep their hands off each other. I chuckle to myself as I make my way into the kitchen, looking around because I have no idea where I’m going. If I really think about it, I don’t remember ever, even in the early days, feeling like that; like I couldn’t keep my hands off Justin, and I definitely didn’t feel that way after the kids were born.

As I make my way into the kitchen, I take a minute to look around. This place is amazing! I’ve been in a few restaurant kitchens, but this one is perfect. The way the stations are set up is exactly how I would have chosen it if it were my kitchen. The more time I spend looking around, the more excited I get to start working here. I know I’m going to learn a lot. Hopefully, the kitchen staff is friendly and easy to get along with. This could be the perfect place for me if they are.

An older gentleman with salt and pepper hair steps into the kitchen with a stack of Styrofoam takeout containers, heading toward a shelf in the back. When he sets them down, he turns toward me, startled. He looks kind and his eyes wrinkle at the corners when he smiles. I can tell already that I’ll like him just fine.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you come in. You must be Ellie. I’m Franco, head sous chef here at Saint. It’s nice to meet you,” he says with a smooth accent.

“Yes, I’m Ellie,” I reply with a smile.

“Mr. Cordero asked me to bring you to his office when you arrived. This way.” He nods his head toward the door and we head into a hallway.

Cord’s office is at the end and I hear laughter coming from that direction. Franco stops in front of the door and knocks.

“Come in,” hollers Cord.

Franco opens the door and holds out his hand for me to go in first, which I do. When my eyes meet Cord’s, he smiles genuinely.

“Thank you for showing Ellie to my office, Franco.” He tells him before nodding and turning to me.

“It was lovely to meet you, Ellie. I look forward to working with you,” he says as he lifts my hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

“Franco, you old dog,” I hear come from behind me.

Spinning around, I come face-to-face with Bishop, who has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. I’m sure my cheeks immediately redden because just minutes ago, I caught Sami and Bishop making out and groping each other like horny teenagers.

I look around to see if Sami is in here too, and when I do, Bishop laughs.

“She’s not in here, Ellie. Sorry about that, by the way,” he laughs. I look over at Cord, who is glaring at him.

I’m not sure what to say, so I just stay silent, hoping Cord will make Bishop leave so we can get started on my paperwork.

“Yes, I apologize for whatever you were subjected to, Ellie. If I know my brother, and I do, it was inappropriate and involved Lil Bit,” Cord fumes. “No wonder Sami’s always pregnant,” he mumbles out to himself.

“What was that little brother?” Bishop asks with humor.

“Nothing. Go do something, Bish. I need to go over paperwork with Ellie and you are being a pain in the ass.”

Bishop nods—still smiling—walks over, and holds out his hand, which I take. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.

What is it with these men kissing my hand?

“Bish,” Cord growls.

Bishop smiles up at me with a knowing look on his face. He’s trouble, I can tell. Sami’s got her hands full with this one. I chuckle when he raises his eyebrows up and down and walks out the door.

“I really am sorry about that, Ellie. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but those two are just out of control most of the time,” he apologizes, but I can see it in his eyes how much he adores them both.

“It’s no big deal, Cord. Don’t worry about it. I wish we all could be so lucky to find something like what Sami and Bishop obviously have. Maybe that’s the kind of love never goes away,” I suggest to him.

Maybe that’s why Justin and I didn’t work. I don’t ever remember feeling like that about him. Did I love him? Absolutely. But did I feel like I couldn’t be away from him for one second? Hell no. Sami and Bishop almost act like it’s painful when they are away from each other. That’s love on a whole ‘nother level.

I must be spacing out because when I look back up at Cord, he’s watching me with a confused look on his face.

“You were married a long time. You didn’t find it with him?” Cord asks gently.

I watch his face closely while I try to figure out how to answer that. I swear it’s like his eyes stun me stupid when I stare at them too long.

“Truthfully? No,” I start. “I loved Justin. We built a life, a family, everything a young couple is supposed to build. But did we ever have an addiction to each other like those two? Not even close.”

And I instantly feel horrible that I admitted that. Maybe that’s what Justin meant when he asked me if I missed the passion we once had. He wasn’t talking about the butterflies. He meant the desire for each other. He meant the ‘can’t keep my hands off you, wanna rip your clothes off’ feeling that I read about in my books. My face turns red as I realize, even in the beginning of our relationship, I never had the kind of desire for Justin that he seemed to have for me. I mean, yeah, we had sex—a lot of sex back then—but he always initiated it. Was it enjoyable? Yes, most of the time, but it wasn’t something I felt like I
had
to have. It wasn’t earth-shattering. I’ve read books where they talk about passing out from the pleasure or crying from being so overwhelmed from the feelings. Yeah, that’s never happened to me. What the hell have I been missing?

And then I feel like a freak because when I realize I’ve zoned out again and I look up at Cord’s face, he looks horrified. Shit.

“I’m sorry, Ellie. I shouldn’t have asked you that. That’s a personal question and we are at work. I don’t mix friendship with work. Please forgive me, it won’t happen again.” He lowers his eyes to his desk and starts rummaging through the paperwork.

I just nod, even though I know he’s not looking at me. I wait patiently for him to situate the paperwork he needs me to go over and sign. While I’m waiting, I scan his office. It’s tidy and looks fairly organized. The wall behind his desk is lined with pictures. I see ones of an older couple, who I assume are his parents, some with Sami, Bishop, and the girls, a few with Angelica and a handsome guy who looks like Cord but younger. That must be Deacon.

In the center is a large frame with the names Saint and Maloree stamped into the metal on top. She looks different in this picture than the one out front. In this one, her face is lit up like the sun and she is looking at Cord with so much love it makes my heart hurt. He is looking off camera, laughing. She was breathtaking. Classically beautiful. There didn’t look to be an ounce of makeup on her face and she was gorgeous just like that. The background is a lake and they both are dressed like they’ve been hiking.

“She was beautiful,” comes out before I can stop it.

He doesn’t raise his head from what he’s doing, but responds quietly. “Yes, she was, inside and out.”

I feel the tears behind my eyes start to sting and I’m about to apologize when my phone chimes from my purse.

I reach in to put my phone on silent, but when I pull it up, I see it’s a picture message from Justin. Confused, I open it . . . and a gasp tears from my throat before I can stop it.

There are my boys, holding their sister and smiling, with a beaming Justin and Julia sitting beside them in the hospital bed. The message says, “Amelia Pearl Harper, 6lbs 2oz, 18” long.”

I don’t even realize I’m crying until I hear Cord’s voice.

“Ellie, are you okay? What’s wrong?” he asks as he rounds his desk and heads straight to me. He drops down beside me, taking my phone from my hands. When he sees the picture and message, his eyes widen before mumbling, “Jesus.”

He reaches up and brushes the tears away. “Talk to me, E,” he says quietly.

“I’m fine. I just didn’t expect that. I didn’t expect him to send me a picture of his new family like that,” I choke out.

Cord pulls me into his arms and just hugs me, rocking back and forth. “I’m so sorry, Ellie. He shouldn’t have done that,” he growls.

“No, I’m sorry, Cord.” I pull away from him slowly, instantly missing his warmth, and wipe my face quickly. “If you just give me a minute, I’ll run to the ladies’ room real quick and we can get back to that paperwork.” I stand to head to the restroom, but Cord grabs my hand.

“Don’t apologize for being human, Ellie. What he just did was an asshole move. Take as long as you need. We have plenty of time,” he assures me.

I nod but can’t talk past the lump in my throat. I make it to the restroom and sit down on the lounge seat that’s in the corner, taking slow, deep breaths.

The only thing I keep thinking is maybe I needed to see this to finally completely and totally let go. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been good. I’m continuing to get stronger and missing him less and less. Even after the texts about missing me started, I was fine. I don’t need him. I did for a long time, though, and that is a hard habit to break. Seeing him “happy” with another woman and a whole different life without me is sort of surreal and heartbreaking at the same time.

I walk to the sinks, wet a few paper towels, squeeze them out, and put them on my cheeks and eyes. I hate how badly my face reddens and swells when I cry. I give it a few more minutes to cool my face before wiping the makeup from under my eyes and taming the hair that has somehow become crazy.

When I walk back into Cord’s office, he’s on my cell phone, which instantly worries me.

“Here she is, bud, hold on,” he tells whoever is on the phone.

“It’s Ben,” he whispers into my ear as he passes me the phone.

“Hi, baby. What’s up?” I ask quickly, trying to sound strong and unaffected. Hell, maybe he doesn’t even know his dad sent the picture.

“Are you okay, Mama? I can’t believe he sent you that picture. That was a total dick move,” he grinds out.

“Ben, I’m fine. I had a moment, and now I’m just fine. How’s your sister?” I ask, trying to change the subject quickly.

“She’s fine,” he responds. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, honey. I was a little shocked, but I’m happy you guys have your little sister here and everyone is doing okay,” I tell him truthfully.

“Okay, well, we’re still at the hospital, so I’ll let you go. I know you’re at Saint getting your job stuff in order. Congrats by the way. I’m so proud of you, Mama!” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Thanks, baby. Tell your dad and Julia I said congratulations on the baby. I’ll talk to you later this week. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I hit End and set the phone down on Cord’s desk. I turn toward him to apologize, but he’s nowhere to be found. I stand to look for him, when the door opens and he walks back in, holding a glass of red wine. He smiles when he sees I’m off the phone and not crying.

“I figured you could use this,” he says with caution.

I accept the glass when he hands it to me, thanking him quickly, before taking a long, slow gulp. It’s the wine we had when he brought me here for dinner a couple of nights ago. It has become my new favorite, and I’ll have to ask him about it later.

“Thank you, Cord. Now, let’s get to that paperwork, shall we?” I suggest in my most professional voice.

He nods, handing me a stack of about ten pages and a pen that looks like it’s been fashioned out of wood. It’s a beautiful pen and I look it over closely.