Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (12 page)

Okay. 
So potentially I could never accept it, and stay as anonymous as someone who
resembled the Royal could.  Good to know.

“Thanks,
Dmitri,” I said, then had to ask, “Anything else you think I should know?”

Dmitri
made a living as a teacher, same as my dad.  All my life, I knew Dad would know
the answers to my questions, or be able to show me where to find them.  Guess
it was ingrained in me to believe teachers knew it all.

“Demons
cannot be trusted.  Their own goals are all they care for.”

That
was no newsflash.  Most demons were kind of harsh on their own species.  I
wasn’t so quick to assume all demons were only out for themselves.  There had
been moments with Rowan, with Cyrus, even with Grayson that made me question
the cold generalization.

“And
never
make a deal with a demon.”

I
almost laughed.  “Don’t talk to strangers, and never make a deal with a demon”
was a common phrase among humans.  I’d always thought that was a parent’s idle
threat to keep their children in line.  Apparently not.

Nodding,
and realizing the longer we stood and talked, the more Dmitri was going to have
to rewind the class’s memories because of me, I nodded at Benn, then at the
door.

Before
we turned to leave, the full-caste Razer said, “If you have use for me, Scion,
I am at your disposal.”

Holding
out a small statue, no bigger than a chess pawn, Dmitri bowed low, his eyes to the
ground until I took the figurine.  “Please,” he rose, but kept his eyes down,
“contact me with anything you wish.”

“Camille
was being a jerk,” Benn said for the third time as we walked the frosty
streets, away from the community center.  Guilt and embarrassment were emotions
I was feeling a lot lately.  Made me wonder if it was my default setting.

“I
was being mean,” I insisted.  “I shouldn’t have said anything to her.”

“Camille
was way out of line.  You ask me?  She had it comin’.  Looong overdue,” Benn
assured me, and this time, it helped.  Not because I suddenly didn’t think I’d
crossed the line with Camille, but because Benn was trying so hard to convince
me what I’d said to her was justified.

Benn’s
eyes darted away as he said, “still stupid of you to telepath to the whole
class.”

“Yeah,”
my stomach churned with my guilt. “Sorry about that.”

“You
didn’t mean to. “

Shaking
my head, feeling ashamed, I kept walking, but not before giving a small wave to
our completely conspicuous tail.

“Looks
like Rowan’s on sentry duty tonight.”  I thrust my chin towards the blonde
demon skulking in the shadows with his hands shoved deep into his jeans
pockets.  Tonight, his sweater was a delectable, chocolate brown.

Again,
for the millionth time with this male, I couldn’t understand the sensations
deep inside me.  I wanted to go to him, make him snap at me, entice him into
one of those fleeting smirks I kept glimpsing.  Above all, I wanted to get him indoors. 
Rowan looked miserable.  So I picked up my pace.  The sooner we got back home,
the better.

Benn
raised his eyebrows, refusing to turn and look at the demon.  “Which one’s
Rowan again?”

“Thought
when you finally met some demons, you’d at least be able to keep ‘em straight,”
I teased.  “Blonde Hammer, champagne eyes.”

His
eyes narrowed, and I didn’t miss the look of distaste before he said, “Ah, the
scowly one.”

I frowned
at how Benn blatantly didn’t like Rowan.  Why should I care if my best friend
liked the Hammer demon?  But I did.

“Interesting
that you focus on his eyes,” he said, and I heard the underlying, childish
taunt he was dying to say.  The one about sitting in a tree.  “Champagne?”

Babbling,
desperate to change the direction of our conversation, “Cy told me their eyes
don’t completely glamour with the rest of them.  Hammer demons, anyway.  Not
sure if it applies to them, it applies to all of them.  But that’s what he
said.”

Benn
shot me a look, one I wasn’t sure I read right for lack of experience with it.

“What?”
I asked, defensive.

“You
don’t…embellish.”  I had to stop telling people how I classified Rowan’s eye
color.

My stare
went to the ground.  “That was…before.”

During
the decade we’d known each other, Benn and I never had anything similar to this
kind of conversation.  There’d never been males in my life.  I’d never even noticed
males in that way before.  I had no idea how Benn would react.

Seconds
later, I knew, because Benn changed the subject completely.  “How are you doing
with all this?”

I
sighed loudly, and it startled us both.  It was such a human sound, and I never
used to make it before.

“I’m
not sure.  I think I’m all right, really, at least with the new me stuff.  It’s
the mother stuff and the Scion stuff that’s freaking me out.  I’ve been…putting
it in the back of my mind.”

“Just
like you used to do.”

I
stopped, and stared at him.  “How did you know—?”

Benn’s
sweet smile warmed me.  “You think just ‘cause I didn’t know it was part demon
you were fighting against, I didn’t notice you were always struggling?”

“You
never said anything.”

He
started walking again, so I followed.  “Would you have told me?”

Shoving
my hands bashfully into my pockets, I watched Benn’s feet as our steps synced
up.  “I want to say I would have told you…but I don’t know.  Dad…”  No, that
wasn’t an excuse.  I was an adult.  I could have told Benn if I wanted.  I
hadn’t.  “I’m glad you know now.”

That
didn’t even begin to cover it.  Benn elbowed toward my side, like he’d done a
million times, only this time he made contact.  It tickled.  And it meant he
understood.

Half
a block later, he asked, “What are you going to do?”

“I’m
considering locking myself in the store until it blows over.”  The words came
out more serious than I meant them too.

Benn
chuckled, but said, “I hope that’s a joke.”

Looking
at him, his kind, blue eyes amazing against mahogany skin looking so sweet, so
concerned, I asked in all seriousness, “What would you do?”

Benn
said nothing, and I took that as my answer.  He didn’t know what to do either.

“I’ve
been taking things one problem at a time.”

“That’s
not gonna work forever.”

“I
know.”

We
walked for a few minutes in silence.  The only thing I could think about was
how terrible I would be at being a real Scion.  Right now, it was a label.  I
couldn’t co-rule the Underrealm.  I’d never made a substantial decision in my
life.  I’d never had anyone else’s life dependent on me.  How could I be
expected to help oversee the entire demon race?

The
more embarrassing part was I didn’t even know what a Scion’s duties were. 
Noah, Nikolai’s son and Scion before Iliana took over last year had basically
been Royal ever since I was born.  Nikolai was only Royal in title, because he
still lived.  But he’d lost his marbles, they said, about a hundred years ago
and never left the confines of his castle.

Of
course, that could have been a lie.  Only demons would know the truth of it.

I’d
ask one of them later.

When
Benn and I turned the corner around my building, someone leaned against The
Bookstore front door.  I recognized her in an instant.  Hard to mistake someone
who looked like her.

And
Benn was dumbfounded for a second time.

“Hello,
half-caste,” the beautiful blonde said when we reached her, that predatory
smile looking less predatory to my more acute eyes.  Now, it looked
more…persuasive. 

Smoke-and-fire
flickered, but nothing like how I felt it before.

“How
did you know it was me?”  I looked entirely different.  Even though I kept
forgetting it.  I clutched Benn’s wrist so, even in his stunned state, he’d
stay by my side.

Holly
shrugged, making full blonde locks rise and fall.  “You’re a half-caste Razer,
clearly by appearance.  You look like your mother.  You’re with this guy
again.” She nodded to Benn, then purred as if she never billy clubbed his
fragile head.  “Hello, cutie.”

“Plus,”
a man said from behind us, “this is your store.”

Oh. 
That was logical.  Guess my suspicions that they knew more than they let on weren’t
warranted.  Though, I still got a weird sensation from Holly.  I knew she was
hiding something.

Jake,
the Southern man came around us and stood beside his partner.  He was kind of
short.  In tight blue jeans, a brown leather jacket, and what looked like three
days worth of stubble on his face, he looked very masculine.  I doubted anyone
would see him and even notice he wasn’t any taller than his partner, who was
average height for a female.

Although
I knew I couldn’t without the humans hearing, I wanted to telepath to Rowan,
make sure he knew I was fine.  I could handle this.  Holly and Jake weren’t
trustworthy, and my body was tense, ready to do whatever if they tried
something.  But I could handle them.  At least, I had to try.  Any second, the
Hammer demon was going to swoop down from the roof and tear human body parts
from their sockets.  It hadn’t even happened yet and I was already offended by
the patronizing action. 

“Planning
to ‘nap us again?” I asked the two Division agents before the moment Rowan was
sure to stick his nose in.

“You’re
too protected now,” Holly said, pointing across the street.

Rowan
leaned against a streetlight, watching us but totally relaxed.  His hands were still
in his pockets like he didn’t have a care in the world.

My
lips curled up at the edges, and I forced them down.  I didn’t trust these
humans, but they couldn’t hurt Benn now.  It made my words bolder.

“Just
here to annoy then?”

Jake
explained, “we’ve decided to change our tactics.”

Then
Holly picked up with, “and just…ask.”

I
smiled, wondering how long they’d been working together.  As I studied them,
they had the same, soldier expression, the same prepared for battle stance, the
same arrogant and capable of backing it up demeanor.

They
looked good together.  Holly was soft, bright, creamy, while Jake was broad,
dark, handsome, with a roughness that juxtaposed her perfectly.  These were
things I never would have noticed before, and I was enjoying the analysis.

“All
right,” I said, letting confidence seep into my bones.  “Ask.”

“Our
boss, Director Pakala wants you on our side.  With the change in the
Underrealm, and your…um…”

“Situation,”
Jake assisted.

Holly
didn’t look at her partner, but couldn’t hide the moment of warmth in her eyes.
“She thinks you could be an ally, not an enemy.”

I surveyed
them, considering what they were saying.  Nikolai and Noah kept ‘realm demon
business as demon business, and let Division deal with demons Up Above.  They
could know a lot, way more than I knew.  They had weaponry specifically
designed as defense against demons.  They weren’t bound by old-fashioned
traditions like bowing to Royalty or anything else that was sure to perpetually
make me uncomfortable.

If
they didn’t want me dead, Division could be a good asset, strategically
speaking.

“I’ll
think about it,” grinning like a cat.  “First, I think you owe someone an
apology.”

Jake
gave me a sour look.  “We’re sorry we—”

“Geez,
you’re dense.  Not me.”

Holly,
needing no further explanation, turned her hazel eyes on Benn, and smiled. “I’m
sorry for before, cutie.  I was just following orders.  But you understand,
don’t you?”

Benn
stuttered an affirmative, and Holly leaned in.  She looked at me, and I knew it
was for permission.  Even though it grated, I tightened my hold on Benn’s wrist
but allowed her to touch him.  She pecked his cheek, a little slower, and
lingered a little longer than necessary.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake’s
jaw twitch, but he didn’t move from his spot. 

As
Holly retreated, my wicked, demon half was pleased with the outcome of this game. 
It was that little reaction from Jake the demon in me was looking for.  Hoping
for. 

Curiosity
abated, even though it confused me.

If I
knew there was something more between Jake and Holly besides just partners, I
could use it.  The urge to do recon on my potential enemies felt familiar, even
though my demon instinct was never manipulative before.  The smoke-and-fire
never carried the Razer tendency to gather knowledge and prepare for potential future
battle strategies before.

As I
dealt with Holly and Jake, I wondered something.  When was the last time the
image of gore and annihilation danced through my head?  The demon whispers held
none of the vicious urges I’d grown accustomed to.  Just tactics.

Where
did the desire for domination and destruction go?