Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (14 page)

The
roads, sidewalks, cars, streetlights, tree branches, each blade of grass, and
anything else that had been left outside during the storm like bicycles and
newspapers were layered with two inches of solid ice and rendered immobile. 
And that was before the snow began to fall.

I spent
the night naked in my bed.  I’d spread Rowan’s chocolate sweater beneath me,
and tried to use his sage green one as a blanket, struggling with half my body
freezing while the other half spiked with fever.  Exactly like last night.

When
Rowan returned the next afternoon with bedding in his arms, I could have kissed
him.

“What
are you doing?” Cyrus charged Rowan the moment he jumped into The Bookstore. 

Grayson
didn’t stir from his nap, yet somehow he was sending me telepaths of what had
to be the Underrealm.  At first, I thought he wasn’t conscious of it, being
asleep and all.  But after a while, the demon part of me saw his game.  Enticing
me into asking him questions about what I’d seen.  They all knew about my new weakness. 
Curiosity.  I wondered why he wanted me interested in the ‘realm so badly.

“She
hasn’t slept for three nights,” Rowan replied with a hard stare.

Cy
grabbed Rowan’s arm, thought better of it and turned his back to me as he
snapped his hand to his side. “These things remain in the Underrealm.”

“This
is the final time I will remind you, she is Scion.”

“She
is a
half-caste
,” the snarl coming from the usually nice Hammer shocked
me, especially since he’d always been sweet.  To my face, anyway.

“Since
when do you care about anything?” Cyrus continued, his tone going a little
lower, a little more like a growl.

Rowan’s
reply was so deep, and so quiet, I couldn’t pick up the words.  Only the
feeling behind his explanation, the intensity and menace of it.

Staring
at Rowan, I saw pinpricks of light speckle his eyes as he looked at Cyrus.  Why
weren’t they telepathing with each other?  Then I realized the more obvious
question.

“Do
you two think I can’t hear you?”  Even though I couldn’t hear the last bit.

Grayson
finally stirred on the couch across from me.  When he awoke, his pupils were
totally silver.  I dug fingernails into my palms so I could turn my attention
back at the Hammers.

“My
apologies, Scion,” Cyrus said, making me roll my eyes.  Apparently, being
exhausted made human mannerisms more natural.  “There are…laws we need
to…should abide by.”

Getting
up from the chair a book and I occupied most of the afternoon, I hurried over
to Rowan, who held out the sheets to me.  They didn’t feel quite as luxurious
as his sweaters, but the longer I kept my arms nestled in them, the more I
realized they breathed.  The material didn’t chafe.  But most importantly, my
arms never got hot.

“You…are
a God,” I looked adoringly up at Rowan, trying to take the pile of sheets, but
he wouldn’t let me. 

His
ears burned bright red.  “I’ll do it.”

At
first, I didn’t want him seeing how I’d been sleeping the past two nights.  I
was once again wearing the sage green sweater, and the chocolate one was still
laid crumpled and obvious on my bed.  But then I kind of liked the idea.

Rowan
jumped away right before my eyes, glancing defiantly at Cyrus, who looked like
he was trying hard not to detonate.

“Just
can’t decide if I’m a half-caste or the Scion, huh Cy?”

His
dimples flashed me as he stuttered, “I’m…I’m sorry…I just—”

Don’t
sweat it
, I grinned at him, placing a
hand on his shoulder. 
You can hate what I am if you want.  I won’t take it
personally.

Cyrus
gave me that look I got a lot, the one that said he didn’t understand me.  It
wasn’t his fault his prejudices and his loyalties were clashing.

“Your
human male hasn’t been by in a while, Savannah,” Grayson lured me over, patting
the couch next to him.  I chose the chair.

My
human male.  I wondered how Benn felt about a Royal advisor calling him that.

“His
classes were cancelled yesterday ‘cause of the storm,” I waved toward the front
window at the blizzard, even though the shades were drawn and we couldn’t see
outside.  “Usually he comes by after class, since they’re nearby.”

“I
didn’t know Bennett was in school,” the Tempter crooned, his velvet voice soft
and alluringly supple, but I think I was growing immune to his tricks.  Or, at
least I could recognize them with accuracy.

“He’s
in his sophomore year of college.  He’d be a junior if not for…” my eyebrows
lowered, wondering why I had almost shared something so personal.  “Benn’s
going to be a journalist.”

“Do
you know his plans for the future?  Where he wishes to go after graduation?”

Though
his interest was strange, I liked talking about Benn.  “Grad school at NYU
maybe.  His dad went there, and Benn has the grades for it.”

Cyrus
leaned against the couch, and raised his eyebrows.  “Will you be going with
him?”

I
opened my mouth, ready to say how ridiculous the question was, but then
stopped.  It wouldn’t be long before Benn was gone.  And I was all alone.

Ah
ha.  As an image of a banquet table filled with foreign looking cuisine was
telepathed into my head, aristocratic demons talking and laughing with one
another, I knew why Grayson brought it up.  Another enticement.  More tricks.

“Benn’s
my family.  We’ll stay in touch.”

“You
say he’s like a brother, but the way you care for him, the way you feel for
him—”

I
cut him off with an awkward laugh.  “Oh, geez.  That’s what this is about? 
Benn isn’t
like
my brother, Tempter.  He
is
my brother.”

“Victor
Cole does not recognize more than one offspring,” Cyrus said, making me squirm. 
What a strange way of saying I was his only child.

“Not
by blood,” I shook my head, hoping they were feeling my chastising projections.
“He’s family.  By choice.”

Grayson
and Cyrus looked at each other, and were probably telepathing.  They seemed
unnaturally interested in this.

Rowan
jumped in next to me, making me jerk a little until I saw the tinge of color on
his neck and ears.  Blushing along with him, I grinned.  But there was
something else in his expression too.  Something…male.  I’d never seen a look
like that before.

“Demons
are more…blood over choice,” Grayson finally spoke to me again, though his eyes
were narrowed at Rowan when he said it.

Grayson
telepathed an image to me, and I almost screamed at him to get out of my head. 
I thought the image of a pretty girl had a different kind of meaning, but then
I felt the waves coming off the Tempter.  The emotions, which I was starting to
recognize those waves as.  Grayson was proud, and sad, protective and
compassionate towards the female. 

My
demon instinct whispered to be cautious.

You
have a sister?
  I focused even harder
on the mental picture, and on the waves of emotion he was sending along with
them, and said,
a half-caste sister?

Maybe
it wasn’t so surprising.  Many Tempters had half-caste offspring because they
could, and they liked human women.

Where
is she now?
  I hoped the question
didn’t turn out to be insensitive.

Tanis
, Grayson’s telepath was gentle and sweet when he said
her name, but changed immediately when he explained,
is in Iliana’s court.

I
nodded, figuring that was a good thing.  After all, Grayson wouldn’t be an
advisor to a Royal, choose to be blood bonded for a second time to someone who
would treat his sister badly.  Would he?

Considering
what Iliana did to me, even if it was potentially for my own good, I wasn’t so
sure.

“She’s
pretty,” I said pointlessly.  But I wasn’t sure what else to say.

Staring
at the floor and shooting off waves of regret, Grayson stood up, and left The
Bookstore all together.

“What’d
I say?” I asked Cy, staring at the front door, feeling guilty but having no
clue what I did.

He
showed his dimples.  “I’m sure, if you ask him directly, Gray will tell you.”

By
the time I awoke the next day—after the most incredible ten hours of deep,
gorgeous sleep on the sheets Rowan brought me—the power had gone out.  Tree
branches were brought down by heavy blankets of ice and fell onto electrical
wires over the night.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

Grayson
hadn’t returned since our conversation about his sister yesterday.  But I knew the
moment Cy and Rowan jumped in downstairs.

“What
new torment is this?” Rowan’s bark made me finally get out of bed with a grin.

Cyrus
seemed more relaxed throughout the day, even when my penchant for curiosity and
boredom had me grilling Rowan about demons as we found tasks to occupy the time
stuck indoors.

“You
mean ‘never make a deal with a demon’ is a real thing you guys take seriously?”
I looked up from the stacks of books I had surrounding me on the floor.  I was
reshelving what little books that were left.  There wasn’t anything better to
do, and my eyes were blurry from reading all day.  “Dmitri said that too, but…I
guess I don’t get it.”

“No deal
with a demon,” Rowan fluffed a pillow on one of the couches in the corner of
the store I was certain he’d fluffed ten minutes ago.  “No exchange of one
thing for another will be worth the price you’ll pay in the end.”

“People
negotiate with demons all the time,” I said, stacking another book in my
Mystery stack.  I only had four stacks.  All of the other genres were ash now. 

“Bargains
and negotiations are fine,” Rowan moved the coffee table four inches to the
left, then three to the right.  “
Deal
was the word to avoid.”

“That’s
silly.”  Another book went to the Classic Literature stack.

“It’s
the way of the ‘realm.”

“You say that a lot.”  He’d said
that twice before today.

“Yes.” 

Baring my teeth at him, I asked,
“Why?”

“It is true a lot.”

Surrendering,
I piled three dictionaries on my Reference stack. “So I should expect tons of
silly, word-play rules in your world?”

He
grunted, then fluffed the same pillow again.

Rowan
told me a few hours later, after my stacks were stacked and reshelved, that
Reapers, Hammers, and Mischief demons were considered the lower-castes, though
any caste could be upper-class if they had money.  Razers, Sorcerers, and
Tempters were the noble-castes, though any caste could be ostracized if the
Royals stripped them of their status.

“So,
you’re saying a lot of the full-castes Up Above,” I caught the tennis ball
Cyrus threw, “are banished from the Underrealm?  The human world is, like,
prison for them?”

“Exactly.” 
I tossed the ball and Rowan caught it between his index and middle finger. 
He’d inadvertently flashed me a peace sign.

“Well
that’s real flattering,” I said, watching the tennis ball Rowan released
ricochet off two bookshelves and a computer before it landed right in front of
Cyrus. 

Not
approving of the conversation had Cy’s face sagging, making him look like a
grumpy old man.  At least he wasn’t complaining anymore.  But he did fling the
ball at me with much more force this time.  I stifled a cheer when I caught it.

“You’re
not human, you know,” Rowan snarled.

I
held the ball in my lap. “I’m part human.”

“It
isn’t the same.”

My
father is human.  Benn is human.

“And
you are the current Scion of the demon Underrealm,” Rowan bit out, aggressively
snapping his teeth in my direction.

Waving
the tennis ball around in my hand, “Yeah, yeah.  I know the story.”

“Do
you?”

“The
story of my life?  Um…let me think…”  I tapped my chin.  

Rowan
snorted.  “Don’t give me sarcasm, girl.  You don’t know yourself.”

With
as much force as I had, I hurled the ball at his face.  I didn’t even see him
pluck it from the air, he was so fast. 

That
isn’t my fault.

“Whatever
you say, Scion.”

And
don’t call me that!

“Yes,
Scion.”  Though he seemed just as snarly as always, if I didn’t know better,
I’d think he was having fun teasing me.  Strange male.

Rowan
lobbed the ball at Cyrus, and it whizzed over his head.  He’d fallen asleep
again, ending our game.

About
the time I would have been getting my evening, after-work rush at The
Bookstore, I pulled the window shades aside.  The sun peeked out from behind
the constant blanket of clouds, making the ice and snow sparkle, hurting my
eyes but making me smile.

The
store was getting chilly with the electricity still off, but the sun coming out
was a good sign.  It wouldn’t be long before the power returned.

About
an hour after the sun showed its brilliant face, Benn showed his.  Benn was a
St. Louis native.  We knew how to hole up, weather the storm, and when he could
risk venturing outside again.  Had enough practice in years past.

“I
brought Indian food,” Benn said, tracking snow into the store from his heavy
duty snow boots.  Even with the ultra-traction boots, I was surprised he’d made
it without falling down and breaking his handsome face. 

With
a look, Benn handed me a Gateway magazine.  On the front cover was The
Bookstore, a picture of my ice-covered sentries walking through the front door.

“What
did she do to deserve such loyalty?” Cy asked Benn as I tossed the magazine at
Rowan, then took the food bags.  The scent of spices wafted from inside them
making my mouth water.  Indian food was one of the only cuisines with enough
taste to satisfy my fickle taste buds.  I wondered if it would taste any
different now.

“You
wouldn’t understand,” my best friend muttered. 

The
demon roared, “I can understand anything, human!”

I
yelped, startled by Cyrus’s outburst.  Benn and I raised our eyebrows at him.

Maybe
being trapped indoors by the winter wonderland outside was starting to wear on
his nerves.  I knew I was getting restless, and I was used to this kind of
thing.  Or maybe—and as soon as it occurred to me, I was convinced it was the
explanation—his bad attitude was because Grayson still hadn’t returned.

“When
I was twelve,” Cyrus said, his jaw clenching, ignoring our surprised looks, “I
was bound to Grayson because it is my place in this world.  Warriors must
forfeit eight years of their young lives to a noble-caste and earn our right to
freedom.”

Eight? 
What an arbitrary number.  I wondered if there was a reason for it.

“Every
day I served him, Gray treated me like an equal, like a friend.  When my
service to him was through, I vowed to be his aide.  Every day of those forty
years, Gray proved to be a demon worthy of respect, of loyalty.”

Forty
years?  I quickly did the math.  That made Cyrus sixty years old.

“I
stand by his side to this day for that green youngling who was befriended by a
demon far above his station without prejudice, without question.  I’d be proud
to die for him.  It would be a fine way to go.  So don’t tell me I don’t
understand loyalty, human.”

“Sheesh,”
Benn laughed, slapping the demon on the back.  “Overly dramatic much?”

Cy
lowered his head, but his eyes met mine.  At his panicked expression, I laughed
too, and he relaxed.

As I
explained cabin fever to Cyrus, Benn settled in, kicked off his boots and snow
gear, and made himself at home.

After
piling food on plates, and scarfing down as much as we could stand—it actually
tasted a little
less
than it used to—Benn turned to Cyrus, determination
in his expression.

“Still
want to know about me and Savvy?”

Stunned,
I sucked in a breath.  I knew the story he would tell, but Benn and I never
talked about that night.  Sometimes, he’d share memories of his dad and I’d be
what he needed me to be, a quiet listener.  But not one word was spoken about
the night in the graveyard by either of us.

“My
mom left when I was nine.  Moved to Brazil or somewhere with her personal
trainer,” Benn shrugged.  “She never was the type to settle down anywhere.  But
Dad was always around.”

Cyrus
sat on the nearest piece of furniture and Rowan leaned against the couch I was
lounging on, and listened to a human’s sad story.

“We
were driving home from a baseball game.  Cardinals won and it began to rain
during the hike back to the car.  Visibility was shit and people in this city
don’t know how to drive when there’s snow, rain, mist…anything.”

I
didn’t realize how hard my heart was pounding until Rowan appraised me,
betraying his concern.  I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself, but
couldn’t.

“We
were hit from behind,” Benn continued.  “Dad couldn’t keep control of the SUV
on the wet roads, especially when cars kept piling up around us.”

It
hurt to hear about it.  Even though Benn sounded fine, almost detached about
what happened, I knew it had to be tearing him up inside.  It was destroying
me.

“I
woke up in the hospital and knew he didn’t make it.  Savvy hung around my room
until they let me out, not sayin’ anything, not tryin’ to make anything
better.  She…gets things, ya know?”

He
wasn’t saying it to anyone in particular. 

“But
I was only sixteen, and now I was on my own.  No more Dad to call when I was in
a jam.  I was….” Benn shook his head like he needed to dislodge the thoughts he
was having.

“The
night after the funeral, I swiped a bottle of tequila from Dad’s liquor cabinet
and camped out by his grave.  I was still on pretty heavy pain meds from the
accident.  It was almost like I was still unconscious.  Trapped.  None of it
felt real.  And I didn’t want to be part of…anything anymore.”

Whenever
I thought about that night, I thought about Benn’s hands.  Bloody with cuts
from the wreck, filthy from the freshly turned dirt that laid his father to
rest, clutching a half-empty bottle of tequila that could have taken him from
the world.  That night, I kept thinking he was better than this, stronger than
giving up.  But then I’d consider if it were me, if the father I loved so much had
just died, and I respected him for still breathing.

“Savvy
knew I’d be there.  She showed up and sat with me, didn’t say a word, holding
her cell phone in one hand.  Didn’t try to get me to stop.  Probably thought I
wouldn’t listen anyway.  I wouldn’t have.  Eventually, I asked why she had her
cell phone out.”

Benn’s
blue eyes met mine, and something inside my chest clenched.  “What was it you
said, Sav?”

I
sniffed and sobbed quietly before saying, “’I have paramedics on speed dial for
when you lose consciousness, dickhead.’”

Even
Rowan laughed, just as Benn had that night, and that sound surprised me even
more than the too-hot tears rolling down my cheeks.
“You know, Sav,” Benn said, his eyes glassy but his voice steady.  “Your
sixteenth birthday was only a few weeks before the crash.” 

Wiping
away tears, I couldn’t stand the ragged thumping of my heart as I realized what
that meant.  If I had chosen the Underrealm, Benn would have been in that
graveyard alone.

I
must have mumbled something as I raced up the stairs to my apartment to clean
up.  Crying hadn’t been something I worried about before.  Now, it kept
happening.  It was like my body was making up for the years I’d spent imprisoned
inside the glamour.

Thinking
about Benn alone that night, on pain meds and drinking tequila, embracing his
death wish was too much for me to take.  I pushed the thoughts away, knowing
I’d have to deal with them sooner or later.  But not now.

I
was caging a lot lately.  Too much.

When
I started to go downstairs again, I overheard Cyrus and Benn talking, and
stopped halfway down the stairs to listen.  Mostly because, after being Benn’s
friend for over a decade, and listening to him gush about demons, he was
finally getting to talk to one.  Why it had taken so long since they’d been
around, I didn’t know.  But I didn’t want to interrupt. 

Especially
when I figured out they were talking about me.

“I
was horrible…before.  We weren’t always close,” Benn said.

Cyrus
accused, “Meaning you weren’t always devoted.”

“I was
beyond selfish.  I took and took.  And she just…gave and accepted,” Benn
sighed.  “But Savvy doesn’t care about that.”

“You’re
saying our Scion…” Cy’s voice appalled, “doesn’t remember your lack of fealty?”

“No,
Savvy remembers.  Of course she does.  But…it’s what makes her great.  One of
the things.  She never brings up something I did in the past to hold against
me.  I don’t know if demon females are the same, but a lotta human women toss
every mistake in your face.”  I heard the smile in his voice when he added,
“not her though.”

“You
never suspected she wasn’t human?” Cy asked, and I held my breath.