Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (18 page)

Grayson
burst into my apartment, then my bedroom, both without knocking, crystal blue
eyes flecking with bolts of silver.  It took him moments to assess what he saw,
jump to conclusions, and focus his rage on the one he thought was the guilty
party.

I
didn’t waste my time wondering why the Tempter knew what had been going on even
though Rowan was nowhere near me.  Even I could feel the charged energy, read
the thumping heartbeats, see a Hammer’s astonishment and hint of shame.

“Did
he hurt you?” Grayson’s usually velvet voice was razor-sharp.  “Force you to—”

“What? 
No!” furious at his intrusion and accusations.  “Of course not.”

I
looked at Rowan, who shook himself like a dog and made no move to defend what
had been happening.

“Leave
us, Warrior,” Grayson spat, and Rowan, still looking stunned and guilty, though
he had no reason to, left the room without giving me another look.

The
floor dropped out from under me, my stomach plummeting with it.

“You
had no right to do that,” I said, still feeling stunned.

“Your
training is complete.  You have no reason to be alone in a room with a Warrior,”
he said bluntly, his haughtiness harsh. 

There
was domineering, wounded pride behind his granite eyes, and my demon half
whispered an explanation for Grayson’s actions.

“You
can’t imagine a female choosing someone like Rowan over you.”

Eyes
level, he said, “I am the worthier male.”

Revolted,
I shook my head.  “Strip you of your looks and celebrity, you’re nothing but a whiny,
elitist playboy.” 

“Warriors
are below you, below your station.  You are Scion.”

I’m
just a half-caste nobody!
  I
telepathed, and it left me shaking violently.

You
are Scion.

My
hands fisted, my body vibrating.  “I still get to choose who I want.”

“You
know nothing of what you want,” he said as if he knew me well enough to make
such a declaration.  “The Warrior could never be for you what I can be.”

You’re
an arrogant bastard.  There’s nothing you can be for me.

It
has been written, Savannah. 

“Nothing
has been
written
.  I choose.  And I don’t choose you.”

You
will belong to me. 

“I
will never want a male like you!”

Days
ago, it wouldn’t have been possible.  But along with my newfound appearance, my
sensitive skin, the telepathy, and my tendency to feel emotions with extreme
strength and clarity, I had a powerful compulsion not to hurt others.

It
didn’t go with my Razer genes, but it was there.  And when my words made
Grayson turn away, made his granite-grey eyes go glossy and his beautiful mouth
quiver, I went to him, my fury extinguished.

“I’m
sorry,” I whispered, putting my hand on his arm, which now seemed to be second
nature to me when a week ago, I avoided all physical touch.

“Rowan,
Bennett, they have your trust, your respect.  Even my aide has been allowed
into your confidence.”  His words were pained, low and unsteady.  My demon
instinct was suspicious.  This was Grayson, a powerful Tempter, advisor to two Royals. 
There was no way he was this sensitive, this fragile.

But
this new part, this
other
part of me had to mend what I’d done. 

“They’ve
been sincere with me.”

Grayson
turned, and his eyes were pure blue diamonds.  His mouth was full and
luscious.  His candy and spices scent lured me closer.

“What
shall I do to prove my sincerity?” the demon asked, only inches from me now.  I
was stricken by lust.  I wanted to lick and nibble, let myself be taken by this
male.  He was the one who could…

What
was I thinking?  Five seconds ago, I’d said the exact opposite.

“You
enticed the Warrior to lift his glamour.”  Grayson touched my cheek.  “Is that
what you wish from me?”

What
was he asking?  What was going on?  Was there anything in the world but those
diamond blue eyes, those perfect, bitable lips?

Without
knowing what I was saying, I answered, “nothing would please me more,” but it
wasn’t my voice.  Those weren’t my words, my feelings. 

But
I no longer remembered my suspicions once he began to change.  Vivid, deep
purple intertwined with an underlying pattern of silver on his pale skin, which
was almost luminous now.  The exact colors of my bedroom were imbedded into his
body.  His irises were pure metallic.

“No
wonder you’re so conceited,” I whispered, reaching out my hand, willing the
demon to stay put so I could touch the liquid swirl of color that decorated his
skin.

He
didn’t have horns.  He didn’t have reptilian wings or a forked tail.  Just a
seductive, ethereal beauty and that purple-silver pattern.  And also the look
of shame on his mesmerizing face.  

Turning
away from my touch, Grayson refused to look at me.  I wanted to laugh. 

The
Tempter had no idea how amazing he looked in his true form.  He saw himself as
a monster, as an instrument for destruction.  He liked to hide.  His glamour
felt more like
him
to him.

I
could understand that.  Hiding was…just fine.

The
thought felt wrong.

The
silver and purple pattern on Grayson’s skin clung to the pads of my fingers and
I examined it, in awe of the colors and of the male it came from.  The silver
and purple shuddered along my fingertips, exciting the otherwise ordinary place
on my body into a fevered frenzy.

Until
the pattern exploded.

The
world disappeared.

Pleasure-pain
was all I knew.

For
so long, time ceased to exist.

Days
could have been lost for all I cared.

I swam
in a sensual dream, hot, true sensation kissing, licking, penetrating. 

It
felt real.

It
felt right.

But
it didn’t.  This wasn’t me.  This skin to skin wasn’t right.  Wasn’t mine.

The
deep place inside me that I usually feared would devour me saved me.  My demon
instinct singed my pleasure, strengthened the pain.

I forced
my eyes open.

Grayson
was kissing me.  All I could think about at first was how disappointing my
first kiss turned out to be, especially since I knew it could have been so much
better.

I
squealed and squirmed and he mistook my actions for excitement, and pulled me
closer, my full body pressed against his.

I
remembered what happened, but I hadn’t been in control.  The pattern imbedded
in his skin got on me, stuck to my fingers, and then spread everywhere,
stroking parts of me with an unwanted, invisible touch.  There had been no
chance of resisting him.  His eyes had gone black-out silver.  He told me to
come to him.  And I’d pounced with vigor, with a hunger I didn’t know existed.

Because
it didn’t. 

It
wasn’t real.  These were Tempter tricks and I was some plaything in his games.

He
held my arms against my sides, trapping me in the embrace as he ravaged my
mouth.  I wanted to bite off the tongue that danced along mine, but knew I now had
a much more efficient weapon.

With
all the force I had inside, I telepathed, with my brand new authority.

Let. 
Me.  Go.

Grayson
threw me across the room as he obeyed.  I was lucky I didn’t hit the wall.  My
bones would have shattered.

“What
is
wrong with you
?” I screamed, and my apartment shook.

Grayson,
now that he had a moment to compose himself, looked entirely too unapologetic. 
His expression, his total lack of understanding what line he’d crossed, kicked
my anger into overdrive.

“You
are going to be mine, Savannah.  I had to let it be known.”

What
does that mean?

Through
my fury, I couldn’t form the words aloud.  The smoke-and-fire scorched every
nerve ending.  I saw bloodied bodies, ash covering their faces, all Grayson’s. 
Pink flesh and white bone marred by crimson and blackness.  It called to me.  I
wasn’t far from minding its call.

Except
the smoke-and-fire felt different.  Strength-and-light.  Not smoke-and-fire. 
Not as scary, but just as powerful.

The
Warrior now knows my intentions
,
Grayson telepathed.

“Why
would Rowan know?” through gritted teeth, my words came out as a hiss.

“Because
I showed him.”

My
lips pulled back involuntarily, and I bared my teeth at the full-caste demon
who a few days ago had been an impressive Royal advisor and a minor, yet admittedly
entertaining nuisance.  Now he was everything I detested.

“Go
tell him you tricked me,” I demanded.

Grayson
blinked several times, and his eyes flickered from granite to diamond to silver
and back again.  He looked sad even though his voice was without remorse.

“But
it would be a lie.”

“
What?
”
unable to contain my temper.

“You
want me,” Grayson laughed as if the idea of me not wanting him was ridiculous. 
“Of course you want me.  Admit it.”

My
upper lip curled and I seared a path through the room with a half-lidded glare.
 
You disgust me.

“Savannah,
don’t be—”

“You
don’t tell me what to do.”  My words were oddly, surprisingly calm considering
the depths of my yearning to tear Grayson apart.  “That pattern…it
infected
me.  You messed with my head, messed with my body.” 

Every
inch of me shook.  Part of me couldn’t find the words to convey how violated I
felt.  How out of line Grayson had been.  How screwed up his actions were.  How
wrong his flippant disregard for my consent was. 

How
scared I was that Rowan wouldn’t understand what happened.

What
if I hadn’t been able to pull myself from the dream state he’d kept me in? 
What if it had gone on, if we’d…

My unforgiving,
demon instinct roared.

Incubus,
my internal voice menacing and powerful as I used the
mildly offensive term as a true insult. 
You no longer have the right to
call me by my given name.  From now on, you will show your allegiance.  And
keep your distance.

Seconds
ticked by as my demon half retreated, as I pushed away the strength-and-light
place that once was smoke-and-fire and managed to resist destroying anything. 
When I felt confident I was under control again, I looked at Grayson, who
hadn’t moved since my decree.

His
mouth made a small o, his Tempter features looking twisted in his…what was
that, confusion?  Shock?  Panic?  I didn’t care.  I had one more command to
make. 

“Explain
it to him.” 
Now!

Wincing,
dipping his head as if my words had literally burned, the demon bowed low and
said clearly, in the same reverent tone Cyrus always had, “Yes, Scion.”

He
left, his body still in a low bow, his eyes to the floor as he backed out the
door.

At
first, I felt vindicated.  He’d forced me against my will to submit to his
touch.  I doubted he would have had any qualms about taking it to the next
level, removing my clothes, forcing me to enjoy… 

Grayson
deserved to be treated as beneath me.  He’d crossed the line.  He didn’t even
care that he did.

I
froze.

A
soft, incessant humming filled the room.  It came from me.

Realization
hit, and I staggered until my hand caught something to hold onto.

By
making the Tempter show me his allegiance, I’d accepted my position as Scion. 

I
ordered a full-caste Tempter demon to serve me, to obey my command.  Somehow,
for some reason, the order solidified what I had yet to accept.  Because I’d
made the decision in that moment to rule.

Giving
Rowan the order to unglamour hadn’t registered as a Royal act.  Why hadn’t he
awoken this humming in me?  Because making Grayson treat me like the Scion was
something I never wanted before that moment.  It changed everything.

It
meant Grayson could no longer telepath with me. 

It
meant he couldn’t look me in the eyes.

It
meant he couldn’t speak unless spoken to.

It
meant he was less than me.

Because
his Scion gave a command.

I
felt sick.

I
shouldn’t have done it.  I hadn’t made this decision yet.  And it was stupid to
think demonkind didn’t know what I’d inadvertently acknowledged.  They’d all be
able to hear the soft hum I was hearing. 

And Grayson
was connected to the Royal.  Now she would know too.  Hell, I wouldn’t put it
past him, and
her
to have cultivated this situation so I had to accept
being Scion.