Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (29 page)

“Next
time,” Rowan held his hand out, lifted me, and tugged at the bottom of my
shirt, getting it back into place, “we will not be disturbed.”

I
could have said there may not be a next time.  I could have said we didn’t know
what tomorrow might bring, and we’d had so little time alone together, there
were no guarantees.  We had obligations now, responsibilities, at least for the
next two days. 

And
I may not survive this.  I may die without ever…without ever having him.

As
if he could sense my growing doubts, Rowan smoothed a hand down the length of
my hair, and took my wrist, grazing his unglamoured fangs along my sensitive
tendons.  It made me quiver, and hate Cy a little for his terrible timing.

“I
plan to do that to every inch of this luscious skin of yours,” and I quivered
again as I thought about him doing that.

Before
we jumped, I stood on my toes so I could speak into his ear.  “And I plan to
offer you my virginity.”

Only
afterward did I realize I may not have had the best timing in the world
either.  The jump to Cyrus—wherever he was—was the most volatile I’d ever
experienced.  So much so, that when the whirlwind stopped, Rowan looked at me
with wide eyes, swallowed hard, and mumbled, “Sorry.”

A
bout of queasiness from the chaotic trip started to ease, and the room stopped
spinning.  When I was pretty sure I was fine again, I glanced at Rowan, then
had to look away.

“I
think it was my fault,” I admitted, looking around, trying to determine where
we were.

My
Sentinel chuckled.  “It was.”

“Where
are we?” I asked, changing the subject because if we kept talking about it, I wouldn’t
be able to think. 

“Hadrian’s
home,” Cyrus said from the corner.  He looked stretched thin, like he’d been on
alert for too many hours in a row.  I was about to ask about Tanis, if she was
why he looked so tired and strung out, but if Hadrian was near, I didn’t want
him knowing about her.

“He
was okay with all of us jumping into his home?” I asked instead.

“He
let us,” Rowan said.  “Sorcerers can keep us out when they want.”

Of
course they could.  Hadn’t I said I was going to try to learn more about these
demon customs I knew nothing about?  I looked at Rowan’s crumpled hair, his
beige sweater that had been in a pile on the floor only minutes ago, and knew
I’d had other, way more interesting distractions to occupy my time.  Learning
about demon ways hadn’t seemed as important.  Now, I wished we could have
worked it into the conversation at some point.  I was at a huge disadvantage,
knowing nothing.

The
Sorcerer’s home was enormous.  The furniture was all black iron and stone.  A
couch was crafted out of small boulders.  Iron bookshelves with books I would have
given an arm to peruse littered the walls.  It wasn’t exactly inviting, but it
looked like the Underrealm.  Maybe to a primeval Sorcerer, it was perfect.

Stepping
over to a window and peeling the curtains back, I peered out to see if I
recognized anything.  And I did, from TV and movies.

Hadrian
didn’t live in the Underrealm.  He didn’t live at Faction or dwell in some
sinister castle where vultures should have been circling overhead like Iliana. 
The Sorcerer demon, my first glimpse at a true, unmasked demon, lived in a penthouse
apartment overlooking the serenity of the ocean.

“Guess
he didn’t move from California with the rest of you last year,” I said,
returning the curtain to its original place and stepping closer to the two
Hammers.

“I
am not bound by the Royal,” the metal on rock voice screeched, making me ease
even closer to Rowan and Cyrus.  “I live where I wish.”

“And
you choose here?”

“Have
you seen the view?” the Sorcerer said, pointing to the window I was looking
out.  I was stunned silent by his casual manner.  Unlike the first time I’d
seen him, when he came to The Bookstore and unglamoured me, he didn’t look
quite as sinister.  I’d seen Astor, Octavia, and a few Sorcerer children since
that day.  He didn’t look nearly as shocking now that I’d seen more like him.

And
none of them had looked as inhuman as my own mother.

“I’ve
never seen the ocean before.”  I met his black eyes, grinning.

Hadrian
was visibly surprised by my calm attitude too.  Of course he thought I’d be
frightened of him.  Did he think I was here to try to harm him?  He wouldn’t
have let us visit if he did.

“Why
have you come here, Daughter of Iliana?”

Nodding,
appreciating getting right to the point, I said, “I’ve agreed to the Blooding.”

“Have
you lost your mind?” he wailed.  “It is not only dangerous.  It is likely that
it will kill you.  You are weak.  Your mind will not be strong enough to
survive, even if your body somehow does.”

“I’m
aware of the possibilities,” I said, though going nuts hadn’t been something
I’d considered.  “But this is happening.  There’s no getting out of it now.”

“That
still doesn’t explain why you have requested to see me.  This Warrior you sent
was quite…” Hadrian made a sound at Cyrus that made my hair stand up, “persistent
for you.”

Too
bad I didn’t get to see that, I thought, giving Cy a projection of my
gratitude.

“I
need a Sorcerer.”  The statement hit Hadrian, made his beady eyes widen.

“You
think I can suggest someone, introduce you?”

Taking
a step forward, away from the protective enclosure of the two Hammer demons, I hit
the Sorcerer with a projection of resolve.

“I
think you’re one.”

Hadrian
put a hand to his forehead, suddenly looking very human.  “Now I know you have
lost your mind.”

“I
need a full-caste demon from each caste in a little over a day.  If I can’t
find them, Iliana will and I can’t have that happen.”  I took another step
closer.  “You understand that, don’t you?”

Hadrian
nodded once.

“I
don’t expect you to be my advisor.  Just show up for the Blooding so it’s on my
terms as much as possible.  After, you can forget all about me if you want. 
I’d completely understand.  Of course, if I die, it won’t be a problem anyway.”

“This
is…irregular.”

I
shrugged, “that’s me.”  Apparently.

“We’ll
go.”  I telepathed to the two Hammers to head for the door.  “Please, think
about it.  You’d be doing me a favor.  The Blooding is the morning after
tomorrow.”

“You
are not what I expected, Scion.”

I
turned back with my chin up and eyes meeting his.  “I hope you’re not what I
expected either.” 

With
a nod, we exited the penthouse, and were directly in front of the elevator on
the other side of the door.  I pressed the button, and with a Hammer on each
side, I watched the numbers above the elevator door light up one by one.  There
were forty floors.

“Sentinel,”
Hadrian beckoned Rowan over from the open doorway behind us.  I leaned into
Cyrus’s shoulder as we waited at the elevator door.  Rowan jumped back inside the
Sorcerer’s apartment.

“Can
you hear them?” I asked Cy, keeping my attention on the closed elevator doors.

“Rowan
is telepathing the conversation to me.”  I felt the strangest sense of jealousy
that Cyrus was connected to him like that and I wasn’t.  “The Devil is telling
Rowe, if he cares for you, to convince you to run.  He is certain you will die.”

“Him
and everyone else,” I muttered.  “Now what’s he saying?”

Cyrus
shook his head.  “He’s keeping me out now.”

I
turned to Cy.  “What do you think?  Will the Blooding kill me?”

“I’ve
never witnessed a Blooding ceremony, but Grayson said Iliana was inaccessible
for fourteen days after, he assumed, in recovery.  When he was Blooded with
Nikolai, Grayson said the Sorcerer went insane for a while.  Some say it was
the first sign of his instability to come.  Some say it was the reason he
became unstable.”

“Oh.”

We
stayed silent until the elevator finally reached the fortieth floor, and the
doors dinged as they opened.  Cyrus held the door until Rowan jumped back to
us.

“Did
you catch all that?” Rowan asked Cy as we all entered the elevator.

“Only
the beginning.”

“I
had a feeling he was blocking you,” Rowan said, taking my wrist, and putting it
to his lips when the elevator door closed in front of us.  It was like it
calmed him.

“What’d
you tell him about me running?” I asked, trying to focus as Rowan unglamoured
and put his fangs on my skin, giving me goosebumps.

Through
the shiny reflection of the metal, elevator door, I saw Cyrus’s reaction.  He
shifted, uncomfortable about something.  His eyes shot over to Rowan, whose
huge fangs were sinking into my wrist but not hard enough to break the skin,
making a twist of pleasure tighten in my belly.  Cyrus’s eyes snapped forward,
and I was positive his skin flushed, and for a second, he was almost frightened.

“I
told him I’d have you run if I could.”  Rowan lowered my wrist, but didn’t let
it go. “Savannah, if I thought there was even the slightest chance of
convincing you, I’d be doing nothing else right now.”

Run? 
Be a coward.  Save myself and put everyone else in danger.  It wasn’t an option.

“But
you know I won’t.”

He
bowed his head.  “I do.”

“Do
you think he’ll show up?”

“I
don’t know, Savannah.”  Rowan slipped his arm around my shoulders, something
that seemed instinctual now.  “There are no guarantees when bargaining with a
Sorcerer.”

“Guess
we’ll have to wait and see,” I said, putting my hands around Rowan’s waist and
holding on, preparing for the jump I knew was coming.

Before
the elevator reached the ground floor, we were already home.

“How
was your…last day, sweet?”  I knew it pained Rowan to call today what I’d been
calling it since morning.  He didn’t want this to be my last day.  Knowing that
made me rise on my toes and kiss his neck, something I was beginning to do
often.  “Was it everything you wanted it to be?”

Maybe
it was morbid, but it helped to be frank about the reality of tomorrow.  I
could live through it.  It was a possibility.  But I no longer expected it, not
after Hadrian last night urging me to run.  Astor had shown me a little bit of
her demon power, and it brought me to my knees.  If that was only a taste, I
believed this was my last day to enjoy this world.

I
spent three hours drinking coffee with Benn at our coffee shop, which had
miraculously been repaired since Matteo and Octavia broke their front window. 
Rowan said the advisors most likely fixed the damage the moment we jumped back
to The Bookstore, erasing the memory from any human minds who may have witnessed
it.  Benn thought it was awesome.

My
best friend and I reminisced.  We talked about our fathers.  We laughed until
my face hurt from smiling.  Before we had to say goodbye, I took a knife, cut a
small X on the top of his left hand, and pricked my finger, letting a drop of
blood fall into the cut.  Marking him.  Now he had two small Xs on his hand, one
fresh, one mostly healed.  The sight made me want to cry.

After,
I sent Rowan to get Dmitri and found Dad at his Wash U office between classes. 
I hugged him, told him I loved him, and had Dmitri breach his mind and put him
in a daze so I could Mark him. 

I
may have wanted Victor Cole to be Marked, but he wasn’t ready to know what I
did to him.  Rowan Marked Dad while he slept, so he never even knew.  As far as
Dad was concerned, I was a half-caste with no discernable demon abilities.  I thought
we’d both prefer it that way.

When
Dmitri released him, he was unknowingly Marked by the Scion, and had to scurry
off to class.

I
found the deed to The Bookstore, the list of new books I’d ordered and should
arrive any day, along with all the other important documents Dad might need if
I never returned.  I put the thick envelope in the mail with The Bookstore as
its destination.  If everything was fine, no big deal.  If I was gone, Dad
would get all the necessary paperwork.

My
clothes for tomorrow were folded, waiting.  My cell phone was fully charged in
case I needed it.  The front door was locked, shades still completely drawn, the
sign turned to Closed.

So
when Rowan asked if the day was everything I wanted, I could say with absolute
certainty, “There’s only one more thing I want.”

Looking
up at Rowan, he swallowed hard when our eyes met. “What’s that, love?”

I
watched, willing myself not to look away from the white gold ring that had
remained around his iris all day as I said, “I want you.”

The
white gold shattered outward like lightening, and my knees buckled a little. 
When I was positive I’d be able to walk, I led him up the stairs, and we walked
through the dark, into my apartment.

“When
did you know?” I asked, needing to talk before I lost my nerve.

“Know
what?”

“That
you wanted me too.”  I slipped my shirt over my head.  “Was it when I half
undressed in front of you after class that night?”

Though
he growled softly, deep in his chest, he said as I passed by him on my way to
the bedroom, letting my bare arm graze him, “I’ve seen you naked before.”

I flushed,
having forgotten about those first few moments after being unglamoured.  Since
I hadn’t exactly been myself at the time, I must have successfully repressed
that he had to have seen me naked before putting his sweater over me.

“Please
don’t tell me it was then.”  I unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the floor
outside the dark bedroom, then stepped inside the shadows.

He
chuckled, and followed.  “No, not then.”

“When?”
I asked, shimmying out of my pants.  I sighed when Rowan finally removed his
sweater, and my body electrified at the sheer sight of him.

“I
don’t think there was a single moment.  Perhaps when you asked me to take care
of your family.  Or when you asked why any demon would choose to wear glamour.”

From
the beginning, Rowan and I had hating glamour in common. 

“I asked
you to protect Dad and Benn when I was still ugly.”  I crawled into bed,
pulling the sheets Rowan brought me over my naked breasts.

“Your
looks were not what made you unattractive.”

“I
know.”  I understood that now.

“However,
I can tell you with absolute certainty the moment I knew I wouldn’t be able to
resist this…thing…between us.”

My
eyebrows shot up.  “I
knew
you felt the thing!”

Rowan’s
lips quirked up at the edges, and my lips tingled.  Suspecting what moment
could have made him admit how he felt, I asked, “when Connell dropped me?”

He
nodded.

“He’d
asked if he could pursue me,” I began, but forgot what I was saying as Rowan
removed his pants.  I fought to keep my gaze locked on his face, but failed.

Oh,
he was gorgeous.  Everywhere.

“I
just bet he did,” Rowan grumbled down at me as he stepped beside the bed.

“I
said I wasn’t available anymore.  Connell knew you hadn’t made a move on me, so
I think, in his crazy, mischievous way, he was playing cupid.”  Hysteric words
flew from my mouth, giving sounds to nervous feelings.

“I
would have realized it without his help,” his smoky voice a soft rumble. 
“Eventually.”

Rowan
lay down beside me, his bare, unglamoured chest hot against my hands.  The feel
of him was as magnificent as I’d remembered.  Maybe more so.  His unglamoured
skin was sun-kissed on every inch.  His chiseled muscles looked even more
powerful lit by moonlight shining through the window.  Soft and hard at the same
time.

There
was no more fear.  No more doubt.  No voice inside my head reminding me of why
this wasn’t going to work.  Not this time. 

Rough
and gentle hands, a paradox that drove me crazy, touched my face, caressed my
neck, and I savored each second. 

Tomorrow,
I might die.  Tomorrow, it could all be over.  So tonight, I wouldn’t hold
back.  I wouldn’t deny the feelings inside me.  The lifetime my emotions spent
in a cage, they deserved this.  I deserved this.  Rowan deserved to know what
he meant to me, how wonderful he was. 

At
first, there were soft touches.  Gentle kisses and caresses.  But neither of us
were able to resist the other.  Passion took over, erupting in the air.

His
kisses grew deep fast, each stroke of his tongue making me whimper softly.  I
was too hot to stay under the covers, so I threw them off, modesty forgotten.

A
dewy sheen glistened on his skin, and the tips of his golden hair clung
together at the ends, sticking to his forehead.  As he kissed me, his upper lip
deliciously salty, Rowan began trailing a hand leisurely along my body.  I
loved it.  After the third trail from lower thigh to neck, my skin sang for
him.

Rowan’s
roaming hand stopped on my hip, and traced across my lower belly.  Breath
caught in my throat as I gasped, electricity making my body jolt. 

Something
snapped, igniting between us, and there were no more exploring hands.  No more
leisurely, studying caresses.

White
gold flames lit his eyes, and he practically purred as he stalked up my body,
claiming my mouth roughly.  I couldn’t contain the strained, pleasured noises
coming from my throat.

“I’m…trying
to go slow…but…”

I
blinked up at him.  “But?”

Hesitance
dissolved.  “Oh God, Savannah.  You’re…” Rowan kissed my throat, and I squirmed
under the pleasure, “so…beautiful.”

He
said it like he’d been trying not to, and couldn’t hold it in any longer. 
Rowan thought I was beautiful.  When Grayson said it, it meant nothing.  He’d
only meant my appearance.  But knowing my Warrior saw me that way thrilled me,
because it wasn’t just about how I looked. 

“Mmm,”
I kissed his chest,
this won’t be our only night together.
 

And
for the first time, I believed that.

I
felt the last wall he’d been keeping between us crumble, just as mine did.

When
he moved, I moved, having no difficulty knowing what he wanted me to do. 
Rowan’s massive form hovered over me for an instant, his eyes ethereally
beautiful as they glowed so bright, I couldn’t even look directly at them. 

He nestled
his hips between my legs.  With lips on mine, he eased down, and I couldn’t
keep still.  My body jerked against him the moment he touched wet, sensitive
flesh, drawing him inside in a rush of sensation.  He made the most delectable
sound as he froze inside me.

There
was pain, but as Rowan stayed still, his upper body trembling but our bodies
still connected in the most intimate of ways, my demon half allowed me to heal,
for the pain to only last a moment.

Then,
all there was, was being filled up with the male I adored.  I loved.

The
way Rowan made my body react before today, just by looking at me, putting his
skin on mine.  I should have known the entire world would disappear for the
span of time when we were finally able to be together.

A
few slow thrusts, and that was all it took for the building heat and exquisite
pressure to burst between us, around us, in the air and inside our bodies.  He
could feel my projection I didn’t have a chance of containing, and I could feel
his waves of ecstasy.  I didn’t think anything could be more erotic than
knowing exactly how amazing we made each other feel.

It
was so powerful being with the male I wanted, knowing he wanted me too.  So
much power in it, I felt like I could achieve greatness, conquer anything.

After,
ragged breaths and galloping hearts were the only sounds in the room.  We lay
wrapped around each other, every inch of him touching every inch of me.

“Curiosity
abated?” Rowan asked with a warm chuckle after so long, we may have dozed off
like that.

Propping
myself up on my elbow so I was pressed against him, with a half-lidded gaze, I
shook my head slowly from side to side.

His
teeth were on my neck, not breaking the skin, but biting down harder than ever
before.  It said I was his now, and he was mine.  The simplest thing in the
world, and the most significant.  Like breathing.