Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) (32 page)

“I
can’t believe she smiled through that.”

“Did
you feel what was done to her?”

“She
let us feel.  I can’t believe she wanted us to know.”

“
I
nearly cried out.”

“But
you didn’t.  None of us did.”

“We
are worthy.” 

The
whispers came softly at first, then very loud, then soft again.  I couldn’t
quite get a handle on anything, who spoke, where I was.  But I was safe here. 
That, I knew.

“I
thought we were bonding with a weakling.”  I recognized Holly’s voice.

Then
Connell.  “No one could have known.”

“She
has the strongest mind I’ve ever touched,” in Dmitri’s gravelly tone.  “How is
it possible?”

“Half
human,” the melodic, timid voice must have been Ivy.

“It
is true,” Hadrian’s grating pitch, though he no longer frightened me.  “It hasn’t
ever happened before.  There has never been human blood present at a Blooding.”

I
feel you waking,
was Rowan’s telepath,
deep, smoky and welcome inside my mind. 
How do you feel?

“We
must keep it secret from her Royalty.  She must not know her daughter is—” came
from Connell.

“Yes,
she mustn’t know,” Dmitri said.

“You’re
kidding yourselves if you think Iliana doesn’t know.”  This from Holly.

“You
are all kidding yourselves if you think Iliana is going to let the halfling
live.”  Leave it to the Sorcerer to worsen everyone’s moods, as if that were
possible.

We
picked our council well, don’t you think?
I asked Rowan, enjoying eavesdropping on the interaction.  My Razer half
approved of them too.  She thought each brought exactly what they should.  They
would be a valuable company to keep.

They
behaved admirably during the ceremony, and while you were unconscious.  I
believe we did.

“She’s
waking.”

“Get
some…what do humans drink?”

I
like you in my head, Rowan.  It feels nice.

“Go
tell her family.”

I
tried to move, but couldn’t. 

Dad
and Benn are here?

He
let me see the play-by-play like a movie projected straight into my mind. 

Bennett
was waiting in The Bookstore with Tanis when they carried their unconscious Scion
inside.  They fought him.  Dmitri and Connell worst of all.  But they couldn’t
touch him.  He was a Marked human.  They gave him a wide berth, and all they
could do was yell.  Holly snapped at him, and Bennett snapped back, no longer
tongue-tied around her.

“Stuff
it, Tempter,” Rowan ordered.  “Bennett has more right to be here than any of us.”

I
grinned as the image of Benn in my mind, confused by Rowan’s support and
scratching at the back of his hand, which was red and irritated.  The Mark.  My
fresh Mark.  Right next to Rowan’s.  Bennett Cotton was one safe human.

“Is
everyone okay?” I croaked, my voice wrecked and weak.

Savannah,
you ask us after what you went through?
  The telepath from Dmitri. 

I
was surprised at his use of my name, and that he telepathed without
permission. 
No more allegiance stuff?

I’ve
seen your mind
, he said like it was
the most obvious explanation.

“We’re
fine, beauty.  How do you feel?”  I looked up at Connell, who was glamoured,
and I got another sense of it making me uncomfortable.  But I knew the look on
his face, the kindness in his eyes.  He was still Connell underneath.

“Not
dead,” I said, and his smile made me smile.

Benn
and Tanis rushed into the room, and I had a moment of concern that they were still
together.  How long were we in the Underrealm?  How long had I been out?  How
long were Tanis and Benn spending time together, doing who knew what?

We
had an entire conversation without saying a word.  Benn asked if I was okay.  I
asked if he was.  I told him I’d tell him everything when we had the time, and
he understood.  Bennett Cotton was a patient man.

“My
dad?” I asked him aloud.

“Thought
you’d prefer him…not knowing,” the only human in the room replied.

Satisfied
that everyone made good decisions today, I started inching my legs off the
couch.  Everything hurt, especially my arms, which I was too scared to even
look at, let alone try to use.  I had to stop with one leg off the couch to
catch my breath.

“What
are you doing, love?”  Rowan asked, but everyone was thinking the same thing.

“I need
to get cleaned up,” I told them, trying to get to my feet, but failing.  It was
Connell who put his glamoured arms around me, and lifted me from the couch.

“I
will assist you,” Ivy’s soft voice said, her head down, her eyes cast to the
ground.

I
focused on her, my tone harsher than I meant it to be.  “You are not a servant
here, Ivy.”

After
that, I think they knew I needed to do this on my own.  They let me make my shaky
way to the stairs.  Climbing them wasn’t easy, but I took my time, waiting
through each bout of dizziness, then taking another step.

By
the time I got to my apartment, all I wanted to do was sleep, but I wouldn’t
let myself lay down.  I had a task.  I had to stick to it.

I
still wore the white robe the half-caste slaves put on me.  It was stiff and
dark maroon with filth and dried blood now.  Sliding it over my shoulders and
letting it fall to the floor, I oddly wished they had taken my underthings off
after all.  I wasn’t sure I’d be able to.  I tried, but already knew I
couldn’t.  I just left them on.  The effort made it clear my arms were in bad
shape, forcing me to finally look at them.

The
six slashes had closed, not fully healed, but healing.  Someone cleaned off a
lot of the blood, so at least they weren’t as gruesome as I’d imagined.  I
couldn’t raise them above my waist, couldn’t make a fist, couldn’t even keep
hold of a washcloth.  I think some tendons were severed.  Washing my hair was
going to be out of the question.

Turning
on the shower with my knees was a chore, and made me wince, but I did it. 
Shuffling under the water seemed like an impossible task after the trek up the
stairs, but I did it.

All
I could do was stand in the water, hoping it would get me clean.

It
was such a small thing, but not being able to clean off the blood and grime was
the last thing in a day filled with a million things that made me feel helpless. 
A tedious ache grew and grew in my chest, making me want to rub the spot until
it ceased, but I couldn’t reach it.

That
was when the dam broke.  I used to think the term burst into tears was an
exaggerated metaphor.  Now I understood it.

Every
opaque cage inside me splintered, then blew apart, littering the walls of my
mind with the burden of everything they contained.

The
tears rolling down my face were a little warmer than the water from the
shower.  I shook, sobbed, and let everything that happened since my glamour was
lifted, everything I’d repressed flow out of me.

My
limbs felt heavy where they didn’t throb.  My head felt thick.  I couldn’t
breathe.  Lightheadedness began to blur my vision, and I didn’t know how much
longer my legs would keep me standing.

When
his warm hand pressed against my back, I didn’t have to turn to see who it
was.  I’d sensed him coming.  Rowan stepped into the shower with me, wrapped
his arms around my body, and bore my weight so I no longer had to.  I collapsed
backward against him, taking the support he was giving, not concerned about
appearing weak with him.

Time
passed, but I didn’t know how long.  But this lapse in time felt good. 
Cleansing.  When I regained clarity, my breathing evened out.  My sobs ceased. 
The pressure in my chest began to release, and I could keep myself upright
again.

You
asked me, my love, when I first knew I wanted you,
his telepath a whisper.

Strong
and gentle arms tightened around me as I shakily responded,
you didn’t know.

No,
lips kissed the top of my wet hair.  
But this is
when I began to see you.

White
exploded outward.  The creature’s eyes glowed copper, lighting the room with it. 
Blistering heat radiated from iridescent skin, so dazzling it pealed paint from
the walls and curled paperback book jackets.  Pure, uncontained power snapped
and whipped along the floor and up the walls, exuding menace like a leveling
storm.

Grayson
made the human sleep, and was on the creature the next instant, yelling
futilely.  The being didn’t touch him.  Didn’t have to.  Before he made contact,
the creature turned to him with predatory swiftness, and the Tempter’s skull
fractured as he flew up to the ceiling, once, twice, three times, bringing
plaster down with him as he finally fell to the floor. 

He
didn’t move, didn’t twitch.  The creature didn’t give him a second look.

“Stop,”
I cried aloud with a whimper.  Why was he showing me this now?  But he didn’t
stop, the images of that evening after Hadrian lifted my glamour filling my
head.

The
store lights crackled and dimmed as the glow of skin grew, began to buzz
threateningly.

Cyrus
snuck up on the creature, and it wrenched the closest bookshelf from the wall,
incinerating books in midair.  Only ash reached the floor.  Attention focused
on Cyrus.  The creature swung the jagged shelf into the Hammer’s side, smashing
his arm and face, then sent him flying into the far bookshelf, igniting the
books as he tumbled to the ground.  The inferno blazed around him, then engulfed
him.

The
creature turned, and ran face-first into his chest.

Rowan’s
chest.

The
being halted her annihilation for no reason, seemed confused as to why she
hesitated.  Rowan growled down at the creature, gleaming white gold meeting glowing
copper.  Fangs snapped, knife-like claws flexed at the ready, waiting for the
creature to attack.

But
it didn’t.
 

I
didn’t.
 

The
iridescent skin and copper glow from her eyes muted.  Rowan stopped growling,
shock tamping down the animal within him.

“How
are you fighting it?” he asked.

The
creature tilted its head.  “Fighting what?”

Its
voice wasn’t hers.  It wasn’t Savannah.  Contained more power, more darkness, and
even less feeling.  But it was her too. 

“Savannah?”
Rowan asked, reaching a hand toward her.  She flinched, but didn’t pull away as
his skin made contact.

It
blistered his flesh with violent sparks, but he leaned in anyway, brushing his
unglamoured lips against hers.

“Come
back,” he whispered into her ear, trailing a shaky claw along her cheek.

I
watched myself allow his touch, knowing how much contact had hurt me, and how
much the power surrounding me had hurt him.  With arms wrapped around my body
that felt like searing bands to my disoriented mind, Grayson and Cyrus awoke,
having healed from the damage I’d done.  Rowan was stunned by his own actions
as well as mine, and obeyed the Tempter’s demands, taking me upstairs without
thinking.  When he moved, I began to wail and fight against him.  The
sensations had been too much.

No
one could have come back from that, Savannah.  No one.

I
understood.  Somehow, he knew exactly what I needed to see, exactly what would
help me most.  Seeing myself like that, fighting it, resisting it, winning and
never even once letting it take me again. 

It
couldn’t have me.  I wasn’t evil, wasn’t pathetic.  No longer a nothing.  I was
powerful.  I survived that, came through the smoke-and-fire stronger.  There
was nothing I’d let break me.

And Rowan
had been my first kiss after all.

I
sobbed a laugh.  
Guess I’ve always been yours.

Guess
so. 
His chuckle was a warm rumble,
vibrating down my back. 
You can survive anything, my love
.

When
I could, I faced him.  Rowan was shirtless and soaking wet, water dripping from
his golden hair, down every bulging muscle, and soaking his pants, making them
cling to him.

Seeing
the look in his eyes, I knew I survived.  We all had.  And that was the only
thing that really mattered.  A slow smile spread across my lips.

He
smiled too, and I ran a weak hand along his stomach, just at the top of his
pants.  I couldn’t raise it any higher.

White
gold exploded where there had only been a ring of it.  When I raked my nails
along his muscles, the white gold exploded again, filling the shower with
momentary sunlight.