Déjà Vu (3 page)

A
ngelica collected her thoughts and decided to call a cab to take her to one of the motels that dotted Eastern Boulevard. She was disappointed that her brothers weren’t around for her release. She realized the importance of their jobs—her brother Edward, the attorney, and brother Michael, the doctor, but thought they should have been there for her, although she suspected they were putting distance between her and their prominent images.

Several cars passed by and the occupants tooted their horns. Angelica frowned and turned her back, hoping the cab would get there soon. The blast of the horn made her curse, but she was happy when she looked up and saw the cab sign on top of the car.

The ride took less than fifteen minutes as the cab hurried down Eastern Boulevard. Angelica paid her fare and entered the motel.

Angelica tossed her belongings on a chair and fell down on the double bed. She looked up at the ceiling as her mind went into overdrive. This place was a far cry from her fabulous home outside of Fayetteville, and this certainly wasn’t the welcome she had hoped to receive.

Images of Margo bombarded her head—the adoring friend, the angry friend, and the forgiving friend. Without notice, an image of Ms. Macy replaced Margo. Ms. Macy was watching her with eagle eyes, like Angelica was a prize Ms. Macy was trying to
win. Angelica felt Ms. Macy’s breath on her, whispering in her ear about what she’d like to do to her. Angelica shook the vision from her mind, but before Ms. Macy disappeared the man in braids appeared, looking between her and Ms. Macy. And then Ms. Macy was gone, and the man in braids stood over her with a sawed-off shotgun.

Angelica sat up quickly. She held her chest as she tried to catch her breath. Sweat poured from her face as she tried to shake the image that was so real to her. The man in braids scared her, and suddenly the thought of being in the room by herself made her feel unsafe.

The phone nearly fell as Angelica reached out to grab it. Her hand shook violently, and she clasped the other one over it to calm the shakes. She dialed her brother’s law office and was about to hang up on the fourth ring when she heard a voice say, “Thompson, Smart and Fisher.”

“Yes, is Edward Thompson in? This is his sister, Angelica Barnes.”

“Ohh, ahh, yes, Ms. Barnes. Just a minute.”

Angelica hated waiting, but she had no choice. Before long, she heard a familiar voice at the other end.

“Hey, Sis. You out?”

“Thank you for nothing, Edward.”

“Don’t be that way, Sis.”

“You act as if I murdered someone, chopped their body to pieces, and stuffed it in a refrigerator in someone’s basement.”

“I know it’s not as grim as that but, Angelica, you’ve done some awful things. I get tired of carrying you. You are this great big burden on my shoulder that I need to lighten.”

“Where’s my money? I won’t need you, Edward, once you give me my money. Consider your burden gone…
forever
!!”

“Look, the money is locked up in trusts.”

“Then write me a check…a cashier’s check. You knew I would be getting out today and would need a place to stay and a little something to get on my feet. But I guess you and Michael call yourselves fixing my behind. I got news for you; Little Sister ain’t playing no games. Give me what is due me, and you two don’t have to worry about me ruining your images that nobody cares about.”

“Come on, Angelica. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. I love you, Sis, and I want what’s best for you.”

“What does that mean, Edward?”

“Look, why don’t you come to D.C. for a while—find yourself?”

“A minute ago, you said I was some kind of burden.”

“That was tactless of me. You still mad because I lost your case?”

“Edward, I did the crime and I served the time. It is water under the bridge now. I’m ready to start fresh—a new beginning. The sins of the past are behind me. I try so hard to be this person everyone would love, but somehow I screw things up. Why couldn’t I have been like you and Michael?”

“Don’t be hard on yourself. Everything’s going to work out fine. I’ll drive down there day after tomorrow, and we’ll get you situated. How’s that sound?”

“Much better than before. I heard you sold my house.”

“It was for the best, Sis. Your money is collecting interest. Your furniture and clothes are in storage. Used some of the money for your court costs.”

“And attorney fees, I’m sure.”

“Pro bono, Little Sis.”

“Yeah, right.” Angelica and Edward laughed. “Thanks, Edward. I love you, too. I was hurt that you and Michael weren’t here, but
I feel better now. I’ll be looking for you on Saturday. And tell Michael he can call me.”

“I will. Take care, Sis.”

“You too.”

Angelica placed the phone in the cradle and fell back onto the bed. Things were going to get better. She needed a job and a place to stay. The money that Edward had put away for her from the sale of her house would probably keep her for a year or more, but she wanted to do more with her life, and she wanted respectability. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

B
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Angelica peeked from under the comforter at the alarm clock. She stretched her arms and saw the sun beaming through the window. She smiled and sniffed at the freshness of her brand-new condo. Edward had come to town as promised and helped Angelica settle into her own place.

Edward was accommodating. He made sure Angelica’s utilities were turned on, and she had food in the fridge, and later helped place the furniture where she wanted it. Edward did not leave town until he found a suitable car for Angelica to drive—nice, but nothing that would draw attention.

Today was Sunday. Angelica wasn’t sure what she would do. She promised herself that she was going to turn over a new leaf, and she couldn’t think of a better way to start than to go to God’s house. There were so many churches in Fayetteville, but it struck her as what she should do. It was eight o’clock—plenty of time to make it to an eleven o’clock service.

There had only been one color in the one suit that Angelica had worn the past five years—blue. Now she surveyed her closet with excitement. She probably had enough suits to go around for all the women in her prison quad two or three times. Angelica tugged at each suit, lifting each hanger to get a good look until she settled on the one she would wear to church. She decided on
the white suit. It was first Sunday and, more than likely, all the women would be dressed in white. Looking through the two hundred pairs of shoes that were held captive in their boxes, Angelica decided on a three-inch white Italian leather pump to accompany the rest of her ensemble.

Next, Angelica walked into the master bathroom. The room was painted a deep rich, mango orange that was soothing to the soul. It lacked in decorations, which she would attend to next week. Angelica was thankful that she wasn’t on the street or in some motel passing the time.

Angelica let her robe slide down the length of her arms, stealing glances of herself in a large mirror. She smiled at her image, patted her buttocks, and cupped her breasts as if she was on display. Satisfied, Angelica eased into her bathwater that filled the tub to the brim with foaming bubbles, and then stopped to pick up a few and blow them into the air.

With one leg raised, Angelica took her sponge and squeezed water over her legs and arms, admiring the legs most men thought were beautiful. She flexed her toes and then brought her leg down, only to repeat the sequence with the other. Tina Turner had a nice pair of legs, but Angelica’s were to die for—insured value easily one million dollars. Angelica relaxed in the water, letting the jets in the tub massage the lower part of her body.

It would be nice to have a strong pair of hands to massage all the places I can’t get to,
Angelica thought. Angelica and Hamilton had often taken baths together—him scrubbing her back while they relaxed and talked about what made their world revolve. The feel of a man’s hands would take away some of the tension and maybe chase her blues away. It had been too long since strong arms held her close, although Ms. Macy tried, but Angelica would
have gone to death row before she allowed Ms. Macy to touch her the way she had touched the other women in Dorm L. Angelica was lonely, and she needed her best friend.

Bath over, Angelica hurriedly dressed, checking herself once—no, twice—to make sure her hair was in place and that her make-up complemented her almond-shaped, hazel eyes and blended well into her caramel-colored skin. Angelica used warm, cool colors that made her look as if she was chiseled out of the earth. She looked radiant, and her medium-sized lips gave the mirror a parting smile.

It was a gorgeous day. Angelica slipped on her sunglasses and raced to her car, an apple-green Nissan Altima, and hopped in, excited about the prospect of seeing her friend Margo.
What if Margo rejected her? Surely not in the House of the Lord.
Bouts of doubt began to cloud Angelica’s mind, but she was determined to see her. No one could soothe a broken heart like Margo.

She and Margo had shared many wonderful moments together. Quiet as it was kept, there were moments that Angelica kept hidden from her best friend, a time in history when Angelica’s self-loathing heart had cajoled her into seducing her best friend’s husband. And there were other moments that she was not proud of—moments that led her to where she was today. Angelica drove on.

A medium-size white church hugged the corner. Angelica recognized it right away. She had accompanied Margo to this place of worship many times. The choir could sing! The music would be jamming and every now and then it would make Angelica stomp her feet, sway her shoulders from side to side, and get in with the groove. The atmosphere was one of love, and they had a preaching, teaching pastor who exuded it.

Angelica found a place to park and turned off the ignition. She
sat a moment hidden behind her shades, but the heat in the car caused her to get out before she was ready. Friendly faces smiled, and Angelica smiled too, her eyes darting back and forth searching for a glimpse of Margo.

The sanctuary filled fast. The elder mothers of the church sat off to one side, and the deacons sat on the other. All were dressed in white, and Angelica smiled. She took a seat near the back—not quite on the last row, but far from the front.

She scanned the sanctuary again. There was no sign of Margo or her children. Angelica sat on the edge of her seat the moment she saw him. Malik, “Mr. Hot Buttered Soul” they had called him. He was still handsome in a taupe-colored suit with a burnt-orange dress shirt and designer tie. Margo came in behind him.
Strange
, Angelica thought.
Where was Malik’s fiancée, Antoinette?

Tambourines were clicking and people were clapping their hands as the praise singers led the first part of the service. But Angelica couldn’t keep her eyes off of Margo and Malik. Margo looked well in her white-knit suit with ostrich feathers around the collar. Too much for Angelica on a Sunday morning, but any other day of the week, watch out.

The music was uplifting, but Angelica wasn’t feeling the glory of the Lord. In fact, the good feeling she came with had all but evaporated. Angelica had been there all of thirty minutes, and while she had spotted Margo, no one even knew she was in the sanctuary.

“If you are visiting with us for the first time, will you please stand,” the announcer said.

Angelica looked around her to see if anyone was going to get up. Before she knew what she was doing, Angelica was on her feet.

“I’m happy to be here today, even though I’m no stranger to
your church. My name is Angelica Barnes, and I feel blessed to be in your midst,” Angelica lied. “Pray for me.”

Angelica sat down. When she felt brave enough, she looked up into the shocked faces of Malik and Margo. Margo turned away when she realized Angelica was looking her way. Yes, Angelica had surprised Margo good. Margo probably felt guilty for not coming to see her.

The friend Angelica came to see did not come to church. Angelica felt robbed. She needed Margo, but Margo didn’t wave or acknowledge her presence. Margo’s utterance of forgiveness that last time she saw her meant nothing, and the pain stabbed Angelica in the heart. The pastor was in the middle of the sermon that Angelica didn’t hear, and eventually she got up and walked out. Neither her soul nor her longing would be fed today.

Angelica hurried to her car and began to back out.

“Oh,” Angelica said, stepping on the brake. She rolled down the window to see who had walked into her path.

“Hello, Angelica.”

Angelica stared in disbelief. “Malik…I could have hit you.”

“You weren’t going that fast.”

Angelica couldn’t believe this handsome, muscle-bound man stood next to her car calling out her name. She tried to pick her lip off the floor, but those dreamy eyes were to die for.

“I’m glad I didn’t hit you,” was all Angelica could say.

“When did you get back in town?” Malik asked, walking up to the car window.

“Earlier in the week. My brother came down from D.C. to help me get on my feet.”

“So why Third Baptist?”

“I’m desperate to change my life, Malik. I’ve had a lot of time to
think about what I’m going to do with the rest of it. I want a new start, and I couldn’t think of a better place to be than right here.

“To be honest, Malik, I missed Margo. I missed my friend dearly. I know I’ve caused a lot of heartache and grief, but Margo is the one good thing that has happened in my life. I wanted to be where her spirit was because Margo always had a calming way about her that made me feel safe.”

“It’s good to see you, Angelica,” Margo said. No one saw her come up.

Angelica turned off the car and got out. She tried to speak, but she was having difficulty letting the words come out. Finally, she found her voice.

“It’s good to see you, too, Margo. You’re one of the reasons I came here this morning, and the other is that I need Jesus.”

Margo smiled. “Come here.”

Angelica fell into Margo’s outstretched arms and hugged her. She squeezed Margo and held on tight until Margo pushed back gently.

“I was surprised, no, shocked to see you standing in the sanctuary this morning. It was like déjà vu. Do you remember when we first met at my real estate office? It was that kind of moment.”

“Yes, it was a moment I’ll never forget. I met my best friend there.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I won’t hold you up.”

“Where are you staying?” Margo asked.

“I have a place not too far from here. My brothers sold my house, and I’m using the proceeds to help me get started again. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do. Nobody’s interested in hiring a felon.”

“I’m sure there’s something out there for you,” Malik said, offering nothing more.

Malik was so fine and every woman’s dream, but Angelica felt his disdain for her. She had no idea why he felt as he did, but it no longer mattered. Anyway, the last she heard, Toni was his woman.

“Well, I hope it won’t take long for me to find it. How’s Toni?”

A frown replaced concern. Malik dropped his head and then looked up at Margo for reassurance. He blew air from his mouth and prepared to speak.

“Did I say something wrong?” Angelica asked before Malik could speak.

“You wouldn’t have known. Toni and our unborn baby were killed in a car accident almost a year ago.”

Angelica drew her hands to her mouth. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, Malik. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see her, and…”

“It’s okay, Angelica. When you mentioned Toni’s name, it was like reliving that tragic day all over again. Toni and I got married four years ago, and we were living our lives to the fullest. We were going to have a family,” Malik reflected, “but our dreams…my dreams ended tragically. If it wasn’t for Margo, I don’t know what I would have done; she’s why I joined the church. You said something earlier, Angelica, about Margo having that calming spirit. She was the person I went to in my hour of need.”

“Margo, what would we do without you?” Angelica asked.

Margo smiled. “It’s nothing but God, because if it wasn’t, I can’t begin to tell you where I would be and what I’d be doing.”

Angelica didn’t want to know. This was her cue to leave, and somehow Angelica knew that although she had settled down into her new condo, eventually she would have to lose this town.

“Maybe we can get together sometime,” Angelica said.

“I’d like that,” Margo said. “How about this week?”

Angelica wasn’t sure, but she said yes anyway.