Déjà Vu (7 page)

M
argo placed her coat in the closet and then went to the living room and took off her shoes. She went over to the couch, fumbled through the mail that she laid there on her way into the house, and moved her purse so she could sit down. Several bills were in the stack, but what caught her eye was the envelope in the shape of a greeting card that was scribbled over in Malik’s handwriting.

She pulled the envelope from the rest and stared at it for a moment. Margo missed Malik but knew she had done the right thing by telling him that they needed time apart. Prayer kept her anchored, and she felt safe that she had her Jesus to help get through times when she felt a wee bit lonely. Margo looked at the envelope, tore it open, and pulled the card from its holder.

A black and white picture of a black man and woman looking into each other’s eyes was on the cover. Margo stared at it as if it was a picture of her and Malik. She stared at it as if trying to understand what the couple was sharing. Hesitantly, Margo opened the card and guided her eyes to the text. It read
Love is in the eye of the beholder. In your voice, I hear it. In your smile, I see it. In your touch, I feel it…You are the things I love.

Margo closed the card and her eyes, holding the card to her chest. Malik had somehow crawled into her system, but it was a direct result of the loss of her beloved Jefferson, the man she truly
loved. Malik offered security and the comfort of a good friend at a bleak time in her life—nothing more, nothing less. Margo had to admit she had let her guard down, though, and now Malik wanted more, more than she was willing to give.

Placing the card back in the envelope, Margo got up from the couch and went to the kitchen. The phone began to ring, and she hesitated, hoping she wouldn’t have to hurt Malik’s feelings again. She looked at the caller ID, but did not recognize the caller. Out of curiosity, Margo picked up the phone and answered.

“This is a collect call from,” the recorded operator said, after which a live voice came on the line, “Jefferson Myles. Do you accept the charges?”

“Yes!” Margo said, dancing in a circle. She covered her mouth with her free hand, excited by the sound of Jefferson’s voice.

“Margo?”

“Yes, Jefferson. It’s me.”

“How are you doing, baby?”

“I’m doing fine…great. How about you?”

“I’m doing fine. I have some news…pretty good news at that.”

“What is it Jefferson? What is the news?”

“I have a parole hearing in a few days. My attorney thinks I have a good chance at being released.”

“Oh my God!” Margo exclaimed. “Could this be true? I’ve got to tell Ivy, JR, Winter, and Winston.”

“Don’t say anything yet, Margo. Let’s wait until after the parole hearing. Then we’ll know if a celebration is in order. I do feel good about this, baby.”

“Oh, this is wonderful news, Jefferson. Extra prayers tonight for everything to go right. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Margo. I don’t deserve you, but I’m thankful to
God that I still have you in my life. I love you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to prove it to you.”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me. God has shown me through His love that we are going to be all right. I haven’t abandoned you or our marriage. You are the love of my life. I want you to wow that parole board and hurry home to me, to the family.”

“What did I do to deserve you? I’ve got to go, baby, and I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I can’t wait either,” Margo said, tears sliding down her face.

“I’ll call you with the news, regardless of the outcome. I love you.”

“Okay, Jefferson. I’ll be here waiting. And I love you, too.”

Margo heard the phone click. She held the phone close to her bosom until the busy signal annoyed her enough to hang it up. Good news was what she needed, and although Jefferson had asked her not to say anything, the first person she thought about telling was Malik.

The card was lying on the kitchen counter. Margo picked it up and tore it into pieces. There was no room for another person in her life, and the moment she had waited for might be only days or a few weeks away. Margo decided against telling Malik her news. She grabbed the phone again and called each of her children. God was in the motion of answering her prayer.

A
freak, that’s what she looked like. In another life, Angelica had worn revealing clothing or no clothing at all—depending on who was telling the story. When she pole danced and the lust-filled men were yelling for her to take it off, Angelica was in a zone. The itsy-bitsy bikini she wore was only a tease to the gyrations that caused men to pull twenty-dollar bills out of their wallets and place it in her G-string.

The outfit she wore now didn’t feel comfortable, and it seemed tasteless for a magazine spread. Maybe it was because she expected to be wearing a glamorous gown and four-inch diamond stilettos. Something was wrong with this current picture; no, it didn’t feel right at all.

Angelica paced as she waited to be called. It seemed odd that she was the only one left in the room. It gave her time to think, if nothing else, but her mind was clouded and no reason could get through.

“Angelica.” It was a voice from a loudspeaker. “Please proceed to Stage II.”

Stage II?
Angelica had no idea where to find it. She opened the door and left the room to venture through the hallway. She hadn’t noticed it before, but on the wall were little hangers with the words Stage I, Stage II, and Stage III hanging from each one. She found Stage II, opened the door, and walked onto a stage that made her bottom lip drop.

The room looked like a jungle. Fake palm trees and antelope-skin rugs were scattered throughout the room as well as light colored straw meant to resemble the brush in Africa. Black, white, brown, and cream colored material was draped on the walls of the stage. What made Angelica recoil was not the large brass bed in the middle of the room with leather bands attached to it by chains, but the real male lions that were housed in brass cages beside it. The lions looked as if they would welcome a human meal if the opportunity presented itself.

“Take your places,” Donna spoke.

Angelica remained still, not sure where her place was. Jazz climbed on the bed and was followed by one of the other women that came in late. Madeline and Coco moved to each post of the bed while two other women took their positions behind them.

“Angelica, you will get on the bed with Jazz and Ciara,” Donna said, pointing the way with a long-lens camera resting on the other arm.

Angelica looked at Donna as if she was crazy.
Get on the bed with these women and do what?
Angelica was thinking.

“You need to move it, Angelica,” Donna prodded. “Time is money.”

Angelica moved toward the bed in no hurry. There was complete silence as the rest of the group waited for her to take her place and receive the next order from Donna.

“Angelica, you will lie in the middle of the bed with your legs slightly bent, and Jazz, you will get beside her and lift her hair and put it to your nose while you drop your other hand to her stomach. Ciara, you will be on the other side of Angelica. We will take several frames. You will take your hand and caress her face, finally giving her a passionate kiss. André, place Angelica’s hands in the cuffs.”

“What kind of magazine is this?” Angelica questioned, pushing Andre’s hands away and scooting off the bed.

“Do you not need a job?” Donna asked.

“I thought this was supposed to be a modeling job,” Angelica countered.

“What do you think this is? You are posing, modeling, whatever you want to call it. You are wasting my time. Now get back to your post.”

“No female is going to be kissing on me. You all act like a bunch of lesbos.”

The air was thick and very quiet on the set.

“Oh, hell no,” Angelica screamed. “Oh, hell no! You have misrepresented yourself, Donna. This may be your gig, but it isn’t mine.”

“Fine, get the hell out,” Donna screamed back. “Just remember, you no longer have a job and you will not have a place to live. If you can’t pay your way, you have no place to stay.”

Donna picked up her camera and began to click away, giving orders that her subjects, minus Angelica, obeyed. Angelica stood by, disgusted at what she saw, closing her eyes during acts that a heterosexual being such as herself found most repulsive. She would have left, but she had no way out of the jungle she found herself in, and she had to pray that Donna would at least give her a ride back to her apartment so she could collect her things. Angelica’s eyes flew open at the roar of one of the lions.

Silence was deafening. Angelica would have felt better if Donna had cussed at her or something. Completely ignored, Angelica looked out of the window and watched as the busy streets of
New York conducted their business—taxis escorting tourists to one of the many Broadway plays and busy restaurants welcoming early evening customers for dinner. It would be easy to fall in love with this city, but Angelica had already hit her first obstacle in less than a week, and without a job and a place to live, her empty condo in Fayetteville, North Carolina was looking pretty good.

“You and your stuff have twenty-four hours to be out of my house,” Donna finally said without looking in Angelica’s direction.

“We should talk about it,” Angelica said.

Silence ensued, and Angelica left it at that. She had no idea where she would go and what she would do for money. She had enough money to stay in a hotel for a while, but she needed a job if she planned on staying in the Big Apple. Her plans did not include running back to Fayetteville, at least not this soon. Margo, Malik, Jefferson, and Hamilton were better off without her.

I
t looked like Mother’s Day as Margo sat in church flanked by all four of her children—Ivy and JR, and twins Winter and Winston. Margo lifted her hands and sang louder than the other parishioners, her children glancing from time to time to make sure she was all right. Margo was happy because she was sure the Lord was about to answer her prayer.

A side door opened and Malik walked in and found a seat. After a moment, he gazed around the room until he spotted her. A look of surprise registered on his face upon seeing the entire Myles clan. He faced the front and bowed his head.

“‘Tis another day that the Lord has made,” the pastor said. “We should rejoice and be glad in it. Oh, the Lord is good
all
the time. All the time the Lord is good.”

“Yes,” the congregation sang, cheering the pastor on.

“Sister Myles, please come down front.”

Margo jumped up and made her way to the front of the sanctuary. She felt Malik’s stare as she passed in front of him. Neither Malik nor anyone else was going to steal her joy today.

“Sister Myles has a testimony she would like to share today. Go on, Sister Myles, and tell us about the goodness of the Lord.”

“Thank you, Pastor. Church, if I haven’t told you individually, I’d like to take this moment to say thank you for all your prayers during one of the most stressful times in my life. The last five years
have not been easy for me or my children, but through the grace of God, we are doing fine.

“A couple of days ago, I received a call from my husband, and he reports that he is up for parole in a few days. Jefferson’s attorney believes he has an extremely good chance of being released from…prison, soon. I rejoice because of your prayers; my prayers are about to be answered. I owe everything to God, and I can’t thank Him enough for all He has done in my life and what He is doing for my family. I ask that you continue to pray for us. Thank you, Pastor.”

Clap, clap, clap, clap, and clap.
The congregation praised the Lord right along with Sister Myles.

“God is good, isn’t He saints?” Pastor said.

“Yes, He is,” the congregation blurted out.

“Sister Myles, we thank you for your testimony. We will be in prayer for Brother Myles’ early release. Hallelujah!!!” Pastor shouted.

Malik continued to look straight ahead. It was obvious to Margo that the news had stung him. It was hard concentrating on Pastor’s sermon for wondering what was on Malik’s mind. Why should she worry? The Lord was about to answer her prayers, and her husband would finally be home where she could pamper him until he got enough. Jefferson didn’t need to worry about a job right away; she had sold four houses in the last few weeks.

Church was over and some of the members came over to give Margo a hug and offer words of encouragement. After the group dispersed, she looked around for Malik. There was no sign of him. Margo shrugged her shoulders. She had hoped to receive congratulations at the news about his best friend, but obviously the news was not good to him.

She corralled her group together and exited the church. Her children seemed to enjoy seeing everyone. It had been years since they had visited. Ivy pulled her mother to the side.

“Mom, you are so obvious.”

“What are you talking about, Ivy?”

“Malik. You’ve got a thing for Malik. I saw how you watched him today. I bet you don’t remember a word that Pastor spoke because you were tuned in to Malik. Mom, don’t deny it.”

“Shut up, Ivy. You’re always thinking with your mouth. Malik is your dad’s best friend and that’s it. You need to keep your wandering mind in check. Do you hear me?”

“Straight up, but I know what I saw. You can’t fool me.”

“What are you talking about?” Winter asked, walking into the middle of Margo and Ivy’s conversation.

“Nothing,” Ivy said.

“Your dreads are squeezing your brain, Ivy,” Winter said. “It was obvious you were talking about something because your hands were moving a mile a minute. It probably has something to do with Malik.” Margo and Ivy exchanged glances. “What I tell you? Anyway, everyone in the family knows that Malik has been more than attentive to Mom.”

“All right, hold on Winter. You and Ivy need to get it straight right now. My eyes and heart are only for your dad. Any ideas or illusions you may have conjured up in your brains about me and Malik are false. Now, let’s get out of here and go to dinner.”

“Hello, Margo,” Malik said. Margo jumped and turned around to find Malik in her space. Ivy and Winter each put a hand over their mouths to stifle a laugh. Margo looked like a thief that had been caught.

“Good afternoon, Malik. Good Word today.”

“Which one, Pastor’s or yours?”

Ivy and Winter turned and continued to giggle at the sight of their mother.

“Of course, Pastor’s. He sure did preach today.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Jefferson? Don’t you think I deserved to have received the news privately, instead of during a congregational announcement? We’re like family.”

“Jefferson asked that I not tell anyone yet.”

“So you make a public announcement? It will probably be printed in the
Fayetteville Observer,
tomorrow’s edition. I thought we were better friends than that.”

“We are, Malik. Bad judgment on my part.”

Malik smiled at the girls. “Sorry for the intrusion.”

Margo stared at Malik as he walked away. “As I said, Mother,” Ivy chimed in, “you need to come clean with yourself. The Bible says you can’t have two masters.”

Winter roared with laughter.

“Enough! Go pull Winston and JR from their friends, and let’s go eat.”

“As you say,” Winter said, still laughing.

Malik jumped in his car and drove away.
How could Margo humiliate me like that in front of God and witnesses?
It had taken courage to tell Margo that he loved her. Spending all that time with her wasn’t just for show and tell. Now his heart ached for what he was so close to claiming but was now cut off like a major detour on a heavily traveled road.

Jefferson didn’t deserve Margo. Hadn’t he spent endless hours
begging and pleading for Jefferson to see the error of his ways—to leave that married woman alone and save his marriage to Margo? All the lying, cheating, and fornicating Jefferson committed should have been sure grounds for divorce, but wonderful Margo, loving Margo, forgiving Margo would stand by her man, no matter what she had been through or how long it took for her life to mend.

Malik drove blindly down the street, distancing himself from the last image of Margo and his hurt ego. He stopped for the light and watched what appeared to be three generations of women cross the street, the young mother holding the hand of her daughter on one side and that of what appeared to be her mother on the other. His chance at fatherhood had been lost when Toni was killed along with their unborn baby, but he’d settle for being Margo’s friend, lover, and confidant.

He shook his head to erase the new image that had forced its way into his subconscious. Angelica’s lips were touching his, and he was fighting, resisting the temptation to touch hers.

Honk, honk, honk!!

“Hold your horses,” Malik shouted at the car behind him. “I know the light is green.” Malik put his foot on the gas and headed down the street. He pulled into the parking lot of an Italian restaurant called Carrabba’s to get a bite to eat and be alone with his thoughts.