Delia's Heart (20 page)

“I’ve got you,” he said. “You can let go of the ladder. Go on. Swim a little, so you can say you’ve swum in the Pacific. Go on,” he urged, until I did let go, swam a few feet, swallowed some salt water, and gagged. He immediately wrapped his arm around my waist and brought me back to the ladder.

“You have to keep your mouth shut, silly,” he said. “Are you all right?”

I nodded, but I had been shocked enough to want to go back up the ladder. He helped me, and I flopped onto the chaise. I quickly discovered that the bathing suit
mi tía
Isabela had bought me wasn’t really made for swimming. It was translucent. My breasts, my nipples, were as exposed as if they were uncovered. I seized another towel as he climbed up the ladder and threw it over me quickly.

“Wasn’t it great?” he asked, grabbing a towel for himself.

I nodded.

“You did okay for the first time. Cold?” he asked.

“A little,” I said.

“You’ll warm up in minutes,” he promised. “I’ll get us moving again. I want you to see Catalina. Rest,” he told me, and went to bring up the anchor and restart the engines.

I did dry quickly and was soon warm again. As my bathing suit dried in the sun, it became less translucent. I was soon comfortable enough with myself to join him at the helm. I took the other seat and enjoyed the ride, once again steering the boat, too. He pointed to Catalina when it came into view. He explained that
he was going to rent a slip, and then we could get off the boat and walk in the village, visit the shops, and when we were ready, return to the boat for our lunch.

The fun and excitement, the new things I learned and discovered, all conspired to drive back any thoughts of Ignacio or my life in Mexico. This is how
el diablo
wins our souls, I thought, but it was only a fleeting thought. When we docked the boat, I put my clothes on over my suit, and we got off to walk through the village. Adan bought me souvenirs, a funny sun hat and two T-shirts from Catalina.

Afterward, when we returned to the boat, I insisted that I be the one to prepare the lunch. He set the table, and we had more mimosas and a wonderful lunch, talking and watching the tourists and the other boats and listening to our music. Afterward, while I cleaned up, he sprawled on a chaise, and when I returned, I found he had fallen asleep. I sat in a shady area and dozed a little myself. Time didn’t seem to matter anymore. I worried about nothing, thought about nothing serious, and had never felt as relaxed.

He woke and told me we would start back to Newport. We were both more subdued during the return trip. He talked again about his future, his father’s ambitions, and all of the possibilities that seemed to lie out there on the distant horizon. When we reached the dock in Newport, the day had cooled but was still very pleasant. He told me about the reservation he had made at a great steakhouse on the beach.

I went down to take a shower and wash the salt off my body and out of my hair while he spoke with the man who was caretaker for the boat. Wrapped in a large towel, I came out and sat at the vanity table in the mas
ter bedroom, where I brushed out my hair. I saw him come down the stairs and stand for a moment watching me. He approached slowly, took the brush from me, and started to brush my hair. Neither of us spoke.

Then he stopped and leaned to bring his lips to my neck. The tingle that went down my spine seemed to form into fingers that sent a warmth over me. He held my shoulders and then slowly lifted me until I turned to accept his kiss. I felt the towel slip away from my body. Like someone trying to resist, he kept his eyes on mine, and then his hands moved over my breasts and down around my waist as he drew me into another kiss. My resistance softened. He whispered my name and told me how beautiful I was. I thought I had said, “No, please stop,” but perhaps it was only in my imagination. He didn’t appear to hear or sense any restraint. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bed, covering my body quickly in kisses, his lips moving lower and lower.

I mustn’t let this happen, I thought. I even pictured myself standing at the side of the bed and shaking my head, but I only weakened more and closed my eyes. His lips were on mine again, his body naked and firm against me.

And then, like a streak of lightning across my eyes, I saw Ignacio’s face.

Back in Mexico, he had stood with me at the bus door until the driver said it was absolutely time to go.

“Don’t go rushing into another marriage before I get back,” he had said.

“I won’t,” I had promised.

“I will cross again, Delia, even if I have to battle the desert to get to you.”

“I’ll be waiting,” I had said, and we had kissed.

“Wait!” I cried suddenly. “Please.” Adan paused and lifted his head to look down at me.

“I really like you, Delia. You can trust me,” he said. “I know you have not had good experiences with men, but I am different. I promise.”

I took a deep breath, gathering my wits. I should have told him about Ignacio then and there, but instead, like some frightened young girl, I said, “Please, wait.”

He smiled. “Sure,” he said. “I understand. I can be patient, because I know how wonderful you are and what lies at the end of the rainbow.”

Recoiling himself like the anchor he had pulled up from the sea, he sat back, took a deep breath, smiled, and said, “I’m taking a cold shower.”

He went into the stall, and I quickly hurried to put on my clothes. Since he didn’t force himself on me and try to persuade me to end any resistance, he was surely a good man, I told myself. I felt bad, and when he came out of the shower, I tried to be as pleasant and affectionate as I could. He dressed for our dinner, and we walked off the boat to the restaurant, where he had reserved a table that looked out on the ocean. We had a wonderful dinner, neither of us talking about what had just almost happened.

Later, the full day in the sun, the champagne, the food, all of it, finally caught up with me. I fell asleep during our ride back to Palm Springs and woke with a start when we were on the main street. He laughed, and I apologized.

“It’s okay. I liked watching you sleep, Delia. You look like an angel.”

From where did he get all these wonderful lines? I hoped they were sincere and from his heart and not some book instructing him how to win the love of a young woman.

It was late when we arrived.
Mi tía
Isabela’s
hacienda
was very quiet. I remembered that she had told me she would not see me until late breakfast in the morning. Adan walked me to the door, where we kissed good night, and I thanked him for a most wonderful day.

“No,” he said. “It is I who thank you for the day. Nothing I have brings as much pleasure without you. You make it all complete, Delia. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

His words took the breath from me, and I could only nod, kiss him again, and go inside. When I closed the door behind me, I juggled mixed feelings in my heart and mind. In one sense, I felt as if I had escaped making a commitment I would regret, and in another sense, I felt guilty for letting Adan believe I was just asking him to move slower.

Was I becoming more like
mi tía
Isabela than I would like? Was I lying to myself, using people, being unfaithful to the things that were true and important? Was it because I lived in this house and had this new life? Had the old Delia slipped away? Did I really leave her behind at that bus station? Was I fooling myself in thinking otherwise?

A day like this should fill a heart with only joy, not more turmoil and trouble, I thought. I should not be feeling so sad. I plodded up the stairway with my back bent and my head lowered, as if I were carrying a weight on my shoulders. I thought I would fall asleep
before I could brush my teeth. I had just prepared my bed and was about to get into it when Sophia opened my door. She had obviously just come home herself.

“Well, I’m sure I don’t have to ask you if you had a good time,” she said when I turned.

“I did,” I said. I wasn’t in any mood to argue with her or trade insults, so I continued to slip into my bed and pull my light blanket up as I adjusted my pillow. “I’m very tired, Sophia. Let’s talk in the morning.”

“Oh, I’m not here for a long conversation, Delia. Don’t worry. Christian and I had an interesting day, too, and I thought you’d like to hear about it. Just close your eyes and listen, if you like.”

“Please, in the morning,” I said.

She came farther into the room. “So, we went to that park where all the Mexican kids go to play ball, you know, and watched some baseball game. That Davila boy is a good baseball player.”

I opened my eyes.

“Got your attention? Good. Yes, he hit a home run, and he was the pitcher on the team, too. Afterward, they have a picnic. The young boys sneak some, what do you call it,
cerveza
? Boy, what’s his name, Santos? He can put it away. He outdrank Christian the big shot. Not me, of course. I don’t drink
cerveza
.”

I just stared at her.

She smiled. “We took him home. He wanted a ride in Christian’s new BMW. You still want me to wait until the morning?”

“What is it you want, Sophia?” I asked, holding my breath.

“Why would you be bringing his mother a letter?” she asked. Something in her tone of voice told me she
didn’t know. “Well? Were you giving her money in an envelope? Money you took from us? Were you?”

“Didn’t I specifically tell you not to mention the Davila family or have anything more to do with them?” I asked. “Did I not tell you that?”

“If you or Fani show any of those pictures to anyone, my mother will go to the police for sure. Fani will be in big trouble, despite her father’s money, and you, you will be deported or something. Christian told me to call your bluff.”

I shrugged. “I’ll let Fani know tomorrow. She doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do herself, and she doesn’t frighten too easily. We’ll see.”

She stared at me. “I bet that’s what you were doing, right? You were giving them money. How much have you given them?”

I just stared at her.

“I’ll find out eventually, you know, so you might as well tell me now. Maybe I won’t tell my mother.”

“You’re like Fani, Sophia. You will do what you want to do, no matter what I tell you, and if you think going to the police afterward is enough, then that’s it.”

Now she was the one staring. “I’m not saying I’m going to my mother for sure. Look, I’m just trying to be friendlier.”

I started to laugh.

“I am! I came here to give you advice, not to threaten you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. You should stop giving them money. Eventually, it will get out, and not because of me. Someone else will talk, maybe Santos when he gets drunker or something, and my mother will find out that way, so
for your own good, stop going there. That’s my advice.”

“
Gracias
, Sophia.”

She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “You’re an idiot, Delia. I don’t have to do anything to you. You’ll do it to yourself. I’m sure of it. All I have to do is be patient and wait,” she said gleefully. She turned and walked out of my room.

I felt my body slip out of the grip of terror that had seized it despite the act I had put on for her. I was safe for now.

But Santos had slipped dangerously near the edge of the cliff over which he would go and pull his family and me and Ignacio down into the depths of more pain and agony than he could ever imagine.

I closed my eyes and said a prayer before I rushed into sleep like someone who had stepped onto a train that would take her to freedom.

T
ía Isabela predicted well when she predicted we would meet at a late breakfast the following morning. I slept so deeply and was so tired, but I was still shocked at how late it was when my eyes finally were nudged open by the bright sunshine that had been pouring vainly through my windows until that moment. I glanced at the clock and saw it was already after ten. By the time I drifted down to breakfast, it was nearly eleven, and she appeared only moments after I did.

“Well, I can tell from the way you look this morning that you had a full day. Tell me about it,” she said, sitting. She didn’t ask about Sophia, where she was, whether she had eaten breakfast, anything.

“His boat is beautiful, and I had a wonderful time in Catalina. We had lunch on the boat.”

“Yes, that’s smart. And you went swimming?”

“A little.”

“What did he think of your bathing suit?”

It brought a blush to my face to answer, but her eyes were like doctor’s eyes, searching for signs that would reveal what was going on inside me.

“He liked everything I wore,” I said.

She smiled. “I’ll bet he did. And afterward, you had dinner in Newport Beach?”

“At a steak restaurant on the beach, yes.”

“Good. Since you and Adan are doing so well, I think I will take you with me to the fund-raiser for his father next weekend. It is a dinner at one of the bigger hotels here. There will be more than a thousand people. We’ll sit at the Bovio table, of course. I’m going to take you for a new dress, something more appropriate, and shoes to match. We’ll do it on Wednesday.”

Finally, she glanced at Sophia’s empty chair.

“And where is our own little princess this morning?”

“I have not seen her, Tía Isabela.”

“She did come home last night, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

Inez began to serve breakfast. Señora Rosario brought in the newspaper.

“Will Sophia be going to the fund-raiser, too?” I asked.

Tía Isabela lowered her paper to look at me.

“Whatever for?” she replied, and returned to her newspaper. “Besides, it’s a thousand dollars a plate.”

“A thousand dollars! For a plate?”

She lowered the paper again and smiled. “Yes, Delia, you’re in a different world now, a world you could never imagine. In time, like me, you’ll forget
you were ever in that dirty little Mexican village. It will seem like someone else’s bad dream.” She snapped the paper.

“That will never be, Tía Isabela,” I said defiantly. She heard me but chose to pretend she hadn’t.

After a while, Sophia entered the dining room, wearing a long shirt and slippers, her hair disheveled. Tía Isabela looked at her askance.

“That’s not a proper way to dress for breakfast, Sophia.”

“I just got up!” she cried. “And I’m hungry.” She turned to me, smiling. “You had a phone call. I heard your phone ringing and ringing. That’s what woke me up, actually, so I answered it for you.”

I grimaced. I had asked her never to answer my phone again.

“Who was it?” Tía Isabela asked first.

“Adan Bovio. I told him you were down at breakfast and would call him when you were finished,” she told me.

“You didn’t say anything nasty to him, did you, Sophia?”

“Oh, no, Mother. Heaven forbid I ever do anything like that to Adan Bovio.”

“It would make me very unhappy to hear you had done anything to interfere. I am quite fond of the Bovio family.”

“Oh, we all know that now, Mother.” She picked at some toast.

“Where did you go last night, Sophia?” Tía Isabela asked her.

She looked at me. “We ended up at a movie and had some Chinese food,” she told Tía Isabela, and then she
smiled at me. “Goodness knows, I wouldn’t want to get in anyone else’s way.”

Tía Isabela glared at her and then turned her suspicious eyes toward me for a moment. I looked down, and she returned to her paper, mumbling to herself.

Sophia’s smile brightened and widened. She so enjoyed frustrating and annoying her mother. As soon as I finished, I excused myself and hurried back up to my room, first to call Fani and then to call Adan back.

“You were right about her,” I told Fani immediately. “She isn’t that frightened of us. She thinks I go to see the Davilas to give them money.”

“Do you?”

“No, never. Señor Davila is far too proud a man to take money from me, even if I had it to give him.”

“I’d advise you to stay away from the Davilas for a while, then. Don’t give Sophia any more opportunities. Now, forget about her. Tell me about your day.”

“Adan hasn’t called you yet?” I asked, and she laughed.

“I’d rather hear it from you, Delia. Was it wonderful?”

“Yes, it was,” I said. I could not say otherwise.

“You know, he never took me to lunch on his boat.”

“He is very fond of you, Fani. He speaks of you often.”

“He should. I’ve done many good things for him, including you.”

“Me?”

“Why do you think I invited you to my parents’ dinner party, just to annoy those idiot girls at school? No, I knew you and Adan would hit it off.”

Why wasn’t she concerned about her own romances and not the romances of others? I wondered again.

I told her about Tía Isabela taking me to the fund-raiser for Adan’s father.

“Good. I’ll be there as well. Now, tell me a little more, Delia.”

“More.
Por qué
?”

“Just give me the juicy details. Did you or did you not make love with Adan on his boat?”

“He was a gentleman,” I replied.

“I take that to mean no, which I don’t believe. If there is anyone you can confide in, Delia, it’s me. I would think you would know that by now.”

Why was she so determined to hear such news?

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” she continued. “Well?”

“We did not, as you say, make love on his boat, but we were romantic.”

“Romantic?” She laughed. “I know Adan Bovio. He invented seduction. Okay, my bashful one, keep your secrets.”

She sounded so confident. Had Adan told her some other story?

“I’ll see you in school,” she said.

Before I called Adan, Edward phoned also to hear about my weekend. He listened to my descriptions of everything, and then, after a moment of silence, he said, “You sound ambivalent. You know what that means?”

“I think so. Not sure?”

“Yes, as if you are both happy and sad. Maybe things are happening too fast for you, Delia. My mother sounds like a madwoman matchmaker.”

I didn’t like to gossip, but I mentioned that Tía Isabela was seeing Adan’s father.

“Oh. The plot thickens,” he said. “Anyway, to change the subject, Jesse has made all the arrangements for our Mexican trip. We’ll be down for lunch on Saturday to review everything. It’s not that far off now.”

“I look forward to seeing you both,” I said.

“As for everything else, Delia, take it slowly. The right way will show itself to you in time,” he said, “and I’m confident you will make the right choices.”

“
Gracias
, Edward.”

“
Hasta luego
.”

“
Sí
, see you soon,” I said.

I sat thinking for a while after I hung up. I had promised Ignacio’s mother I would stop by one more time to bring him things she wanted him to have. I would just be more careful about it, I thought. I wondered if I should speak with Santos, too. He had to be warned about Sophia.

Adan didn’t wait for me to return the call. He called again, sounding a little worried because I hadn’t rushed to call him back.

“I was just about to call you,” I said. I made my conversation with Tía Isabela sound longer, but he knew I had already spoken with Fani. He said a strange thing.

“Be careful about how much trust you put in her, Delia. I love Fani, but she is almost her own species.”

“What does this mean, this species?”

“She can change moods, allegiances, very quickly and without any apparent warning or reason. She’s been good to me and sometimes bitterly cruel to me. Of course, she immediately regrets it, but she’s a
complicated person, and you’re a sweet and innocent young woman who may be a little too trusting still.”

I’m not as innocent as he thinks, I thought. He would come to that conclusion quickly if he knew the truth about Ignacio. Thinking about it, I told him of Edward, Jesse, and our plan to take a trip to my Mexican village.

“If those two weren’t gay and he wasn’t your cousin, I’d be very, very jealous,” he said. “I’ll miss you, even for that short a period.”

I quickly told him about Tía Isabela taking me to his father’s fund-raiser, and that returned a cheerful tone to his voice. He went on and on about it, the food, the entertainment, the people we would meet.

“There’s a good chance the governor might stop by. He has a vacation home in Rancho Mirage, you know.”

I agreed to try to see him during the week, but I soon discovered Tía Isabela had seen to that. She had him meet us at the dress shop the following Wednesday so he could take us to dinner. I was surprised that Sophia showed no signs of envy when she heard about her mother taking me to the fund-raiser. She told me she hated those sorts of things.

“You’ve got to watch everything you do and everything you say. And the people there are mostly old and stuffy. You’ll see,” she said. “I’ll have my girlfriends and some boys over for a party around the pool,” she told me. “Just don’t dare say anything to my mother about it. I don’t care if she finds out as long as it’s afterward.”

Maybe because she knew Adan was going to meet us at the dress shop, Tía Isabela spent nearly two thou
sand dollars on a gown for me. The shoes were seven hundred. She promised to lend me some more of her jewelry as well. Even though I knew in my heart that she had other motives for doing what she was doing, I let myself be treated like her daughter. The salesgirl, excited about the purchases Tía Isabela was making, had to comment and tell me, “Your aunt must be terribly fond of you. You’re lucky.”

I welcomed her envy. Perhaps I shouldn’t have, but at least for a short while, I could feel loved and imagine what it would have been like if my mother had been blessed with Tía Isabela’s wealth and opportunities, and we could have gone off together, perhaps to Mexico City to shop and eat at fine restaurants, laugh and take delight in each other’s company. Maybe, just maybe, I hoped, Tía Isabela had longed for such a relationship with her own daughter and was at least enjoying these moments the way I was.

But as soon as Adan arrived, she transformed from a loving aunt and surrogate mother into a socialite. Her voice took on a more correct and formal tone. Even her laugh was different. It was more of a forgery, dishonest, affected. She treated Adan as if he were a little prince and we had to pay royal homage. She laughed hard at all of his jokes, widened her eyes at his comments as if every one of them were brilliant enough to be written into books.

What threw me the most, perhaps, was how much and how enthusiastically she built me up, boasting and bragging about my achievements at school, my grasp of English, even my cooking abilities, even though she had never tasted anything I had made. After a while, I was so embarrassed I could barely glance at Adan.

Adan was polite and went along with everything she did and said, but once in a while, he winked at me to let me know he wasn’t as gullible as he pretended. I was relieved when the dinner was finally over and we could go home. My body had been frozen in such a tense state the whole time I was actually exhausted. Señor Garman had already loaded the car with my things. We said good night outside the restaurant with Tía Isabela standing off to the side to watch Adan kiss me. As if it were a stamp of approval, she kissed him on the cheek, and we got into the limousine.

“What a wonderful young man,” she said as we were driven away. “It’s nice when a father can be proud of his son and a son can be proud of his father. Do you realize what it would mean for you if Señor Bovio was elected, Delia? You would be in Washington society, mingle with the powers that be. It’s incredible to think that a girl who lived in a house that was more like a barn would exchange greetings with a president or ambassadors. Aren’t you excited?”

“I am not married to Adan Bovio, Tía Isabela. I have only gone on some dates with him.”

She laughed. “You can’t be that dense. I saw it in his eyes when he looks at you, Delia. You’ve hooked him. He’s head over heels in love with you.”

I turned away so she couldn’t read the expression on my face. She was already imagining Adan’s and my wedding, calling it the biggest social event of the decade. More to put an end to all of this fantastic talk than anything, I mentioned that Edward and Jesse were coming on Saturday to review our trip plans.

“What? You can’t tell me you’re still considering doing something as stupid as that. You can’t!”

“Why not? I have promised them, and they are very excited about it.”

“This is ridiculous. And it’s dangerous,” she added, nodding. “I won’t permit it.”

“But you said—”

“I don’t care what I said. I never believed you would go through with such an idea. It’s absolutely the wrong time for you to do such a thing. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of Edward,” she said, as if my only problem was disappointing my cousin.

“No, I must go,” I said, a little more firmly than I had intended.

“What do you mean, you must? Why must you go?”

“I need to visit my grandmother’s and my parents’ graves.”

“Why? It is not the
Día de los Muertos
. That was last November.”

“I don’t wait for the Day of the Dead to pay my respects,” I said. “I need to thank them for all the good things that have happened for me and will happen.”

“Oh, please. Thank them. What did they do to bring any of this about? You must lose these foolish, ignorant superstitions. You’re about to become a modern woman, an American woman with prestige. You can’t go babbling about evil eyes and blessings from the beyond. And I want you to stay away from these ignorant Mexicans who hold on to these ideas,” she added. She fluffed her dress and pouted. “Now you’ve gone and upset me, and we were having such a wonderful day and evening.”