Delia's Heart (21 page)

“I am sorry,” I said.

She grunted but said nothing more until we arrived at the
hacienda
and entered.

“I’ll speak with Edward tomorrow first thing,” she told me. “Just do your schoolwork and prepare for the wonderful weekend.”

Before I could respond, she turned and marched off. I carried the boxes containing my gown and shoes up to my room. Sophia had her door shut. I could hear the music. I was sure she was on the phone with one of her girlfriends plotting and planning their own festivities for the weekend. I was so conflicted I didn’t know if I could ever get to sleep. I had already had Ignacio’s mother and father send him the letter that told him of my trip. I would have the specific details for them to get to him this weekend. What if Tía Isabela was able to get Edward to change his mind about going?

And what about all these things she described? Could I deny that they sounded wonderful? I felt as if I had been tied to two donkeys that wanted to go in opposite directions. The beautiful new gown hung in my closet. My memories of the day on Adan’s boat were still vivid. Poor Ignacio’s face was fading. Was it dreadful to wish that
mi tía
Isabela would make the decision for me? What was happening to the Delia who had struggled and suffered to cross the desert with Ignacio? Where was the Delia who worked happily beside her grandmother preparing tortillas and singing old songs? Had my parents’ tragic deaths and my grandmother’s passing taken that Delia’s soul along with them? When I looked into my mirror in my beautiful new home, did I see only the shell of the girl I had been, and were
mi tía
Isabela and everyone else I now knew filling me with a new identity?

Maybe in so many small ways that we don’t even realize and rarely understand, we confront our own
Day of the Dead. We visit our own graves and finally see that the memory of who we were and where we had been was dwindling like some distant star that had died light-years before and was now only the empty illuminated echo of itself. If you could reach out to touch it, your fingers would pass through to nothing, and you would be left concluding that it was gone. Rather than be alone, you would turn to another star.

And you would be happy and sad at the same time, just as I was this night when I lowered my head to the pillow and fought back the darkness like one terrified of her own dreams. The weight of night was too great to resist, however, and I was soon overwhelmed with sleep.

Tía Isabela said nothing about my Mexican trip in the morning. Apparently, she had forgotten about it for the moment. She was too involved thinking about her own preparations for the weekend, her nail and hair appointments. Someone was coming to the
hacienda
to do her makeup professionally. She explained that television and other media people would be at the fund-raiser, so she had to be “up to snuff.”

When she spoke about it, I watched Sophia to see her reactions. It was as if she didn’t hear her. She ate or did whatever she was doing and never asked a question or made a comment.

Before Friday, however, Tía Isabela had called Edward about our Mexican trip. They apparently had an argument on the phone, and then Edward called me and told me to disregard whatever his mother had said. He and Jesse were coming down on Saturday, and that was that.

Adan was busy on Friday with his work, and then
he was going to some campaign events with his father. He wanted to see me and asked if I wanted to go along as well, but I told him I was tired and would rather rest for the bigger night on Saturday. He said he understood and admitted he probably wouldn’t have had that much time for me anyway, and I might have been uncomfortable.

Neither Sophia nor I knew where Tía Isabela was Friday night. She left no instructions. Sophia went out with her girlfriends, and I had dinner alone, watched some television, and tried to distract myself from thinking about the tension now between Edward and Tía Isabela.

It wasn’t until Saturday morning at breakfast that she brought it up.

“Your cousin and his companion are coming here today. I want you to tell them in no uncertain terms that you will not go to Mexico. Is that clear?” she asked me at the table moments after she entered. Sophia strutted in, half-asleep as usual, but she perked up at the tone in her mother’s voice.

I didn’t respond.

“You’ll ruin everything by doing something that stupid,” Tía Isabela continued.

“I told Adan about my trip already,” I said, keeping my gaze on the plate. “He wasn’t upset.”

“Of course, he wasn’t upset with you on the phone, but he thinks you’re doing it for your cousin, and he wouldn’t want to get into any argument with you about it. He’s too much of a gentleman.”

“Oh, please, spare us,” Sophia said. “Adan Bovio is too much of a gentleman?”

“Don’t you dare contradict me, Sophia.”

“Yes, your highness.”

I was happy they were at each other, and Tía Isabela was not concentrating on me.

“Don’t take that tone with me. Did you go out of this house last night?”

“You said I could if I came home early.”

“Did you come home early? I can ask Mrs. Rosario.”

“It was early to me. It was before midnight. Wasn’t it, Delia?” she asked, turning to me.

I looked at Tía Isabela. “I was asleep early myself,” I said.

“You’d never stand up for me, would you?” Sophia complained. “But you expect me to come to your defense all the time.”

“I didn’t say you were lying. I just said—”

“Yeah, yeah. I came home early, Mother, earlier than you.”

“That’s enough. You’ve spoiled my appetite. I will not allow myself to get stressed out today. It does terrible damage to your face, deepens lines, not that I have that many.”

She suddenly remembered what she had said to me.

“Just be sure to make it clear to Edward, Delia. I expect nothing less from you.”

Again, I said nothing. After breakfast, I went up to my bedroom anticipating Edward and Jesse’s impending arrival. I tried doing some reading for school and some math homework just to keep myself from thinking about it all. I think I dozed off for a while, because suddenly, Sophia was at my door, a gleeful smile on her face. I could hear shouting below.

“Hear that?” she said. “They’re fighting about you.”

I stepped out into the hallway. Edward and Jesse had arrived, and Tía Isabela had intercepted them before they started up the stairway.

Sophia held her smile and followed me to the top of the stairway.

“Do you fools realize how dangerous it is nowadays to travel those back roads in Mexico to that decrepit village? Why would you want to go there and see that poverty? And what about the health issues?”

“You hid our heritage from us all our lives,” Edward responded. “We have a right to know and understand from where we have come.”

“Understand?” She laughed. “Now, you listen to me, Edward Dallas, you can threaten to do whatever you want with your money. I no longer care. I have through my own business associates created a strong financial foundation. What we lose because of you, we lose and you lose, but I am that girl’s legal guardian, not you. She is still in my care and control, and I absolutely forbid your taking her on this idiotic Mexican trip. That’s final.”

I took a few steps down.

“If you defy me, I swear, I’ll go to the police and have them pick you up for kidnapping.”

I saw her pointing to Edward and then to Jesse.

“Don’t either of you test me on this,” she said, turned, and walked to her side of the
hacienda
. Edward and Jesse stood there looking after her. Then Jesse saw me on the stairway and nodded.

Edward turned to me. “C’mon,” he said. “We’re taking you to lunch. That we can do without the police coming after us.”

I hesitated and looked up at Sophia. She was as
pleased as a hog wallowing in cool mud. I hurried down the stairway.

“
Hasta la vista
,” Sophia cried, laughing.

We hurried out to Edward’s car.

“Just get in,” he said. His face was red with rage. Jesse said he would drive.

“What turned her off on all this?” Edward asked as we pulled away from the
hacienda
. “She wasn’t so against it when we first told her.”

“It doesn’t sit well with her matchmaker plans, is that it?” Jesse asked.

“
Sí
. She is afraid it will upset Adan and Señor Bovio.”

“That’s a twist,” Jesse said. “Ray Bovio is running as a Latino candidate, and she’s saying he’d be upset if you took a trip to Mexico.”

“She wants me to forget my past and think only of the future.”

“Think only of
her
future,” Edward said. “That’s what she really means. Well, we’re not going to do it,” he said.

“Not go to Mexico?” Jesse asked, surprised.

“No, not listen to her. Don’t worry about it, Delia. Her threats are empty threats. She’d never put the police on us. It would bring too much shame to the Dallas name.

“But for now,” he continued, thinking aloud, “we’ll let her believe she’s frightened us off. Don’t mention the trip anymore to anyone, Delia. If anyone asks, it’s off, especially Sophia. Put on an act for her or something. Act very sad about it. She’ll enjoy seeing you sad and believe you.”

“And then?” Jesse asked.

“And then we’ll go as planned,” Edward said, smiling. “You’ll sneak out of the house that day, and we’ll pick you up. Before she knows anything, we’ll have flown to Mexico City,” he said. “She’ll get over it just the way she gets over everything. One thing about my mother, she never lets anything annoy her too much. She’s afraid it would age her. This is one time I’m grateful for her vanity.”

Jesse smiled.

“Okay, Delia?” Edward asked.

I had my chance. I could have stopped it all then.

But I didn’t.

I nodded and added one more secret to my backpack, another burden to weigh on my soul.

We drove on now talking about Mexico.

All I could think about was how I had to sneak up to the Davilas’ and give Ignacio’s mother the details.

And then, after that, there was just the waiting and constantly looking for the evil eye.

I
t was hard for me to concentrate on preparing for the fund-raiser dinner. After lunch, Edward and Jesse spent another hour or so with me. They complimented me on the dress and shoes Tía Isabela had bought me. Edward said he had to give the devil her due. His mother had impeccable taste. They left to return to Los Angeles. Moments after they had, Sophia came to spy. Of course, she pretended only to be interested in my new dress at first, and then, in a by-the-way tone of voice, asked, “Well, what are you going to do about the trip to Mexico?”

“We can do nothing,” I said, and as Edward advised, I pretended I was about to break into tears. “I had so wanted to show them where I had lived, where your mother had once lived, but Edward says it is true. Your mother is my legal guardian, and it would cause much trouble if we defied her wishes.”

“Really?” she asked, sounding disappointed. “I would never have thought Edward was such a coward.”

“Jesse is worried, too,” I said.

“Yes, I can understand that. He should be worried. He’s not related. He probably could get into serious trouble, and his parents would be quite upset. My mother would have him charged with kidnapping. Maybe,” she added, still looking for a way to tease and disturb me, “Edward isn’t trying to make you happy anymore because he’s simply too upset about your budding romance with Adan.”

“He is not!”

She laughed. Then she grew serious. “Or maybe you’re just pretending to be upset about not going yourself, huh? Maybe you’ve finally learned how to kiss up to my mother and get things out of her, like that expensive dress and those shoes. Maybe you just love being wined and dined and being with the wealthy like Adan and Fani.”

“Think what you like,” I said. “You will, anyway.”

She nodded, happy about her conclusions. “You’re not so innocent anymore, Delia Yebarra. In fact, you’re more like me than you’d care to admit. That’s all right,” she said. “Eventually, we’ll help each other get what we want.”

She laughed and left.

Rather than be like her, I thought, I’d trade places with my poorest girlfriend back in my Mexican village.

Once again, Tía Isabela was up in my room to supervise my makeup and hair. She brought the jewelry she had promised. My eyes widened so dramatically at
the size of the diamonds on the bracelet and necklace that she laughed.

“Before you ask, Delia, yes, they are real. My husband would never buy me fake jewelry, and I certainly would never buy any for myself. Wear that watch I gave you. I want you to try on some of these rings as well,” she suggested, opening a small box to show them to me. “You and I have the same ring size, I’m sure.”

The rings did fit. She chose the one I should wear.

While she hovered around me, fixing strands of my hair, making me do some of my makeup over, trying different shades of lipstick, Sophia came to the doorway and watched. Despite the way she had belittled going to the fund-raiser, I saw the look of envy in her face, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Her mother was treating me just the way she wished she would treat her, despite the act she put on, pretending not to care about such things.

Tía Isabela glanced at her from time to time but said nothing. Couldn’t she see how much pain Sophia was feeling? I did not understand how a mother could be so indifferent to her own daughter’s feelings. Perhaps more puzzling to me was how
mi tía
Isabela could be so different from her sister, my mother. Some selfish coyote surely had peered into our house the night Tía Isabela was made. Despite all I had learned, I couldn’t help but believe in such superstitions.
Mi tía
was living proof.

Finally, she spoke to Sophia.

“If you would take some interest in your own appearance and stop hanging around with losers and riffraff, Sophia, you could enjoy social events, too.”

“I’d rather hang around with riffraff,” Sophia said, grimacing.

“I know you would,” Tía Isabela said, pausing to look at her. “That’s the pity of it all. We can thank your father for it.”

“Right. Blame everything on a dead man,” Sophia fired back, her eyes actually filling with tears. She stormed away and slammed her bedroom door.

“I was hoping something good from your new life would rub off on her,” Tía Isabela said, “but I’m afraid she is doomed to suffer great unhappiness.”

She stood back to look at me.

“Perfect. You’ll sparkle beside Adan Bovio, especially in the photographs. Come down in twenty minutes,” she said, and left.

I gazed at myself in the full-length mirror. In the new dress and shoes, with my hair styled, the makeup highlighting my features, and the jewelry dazzling, I dared to think I was a good candidate for princess. Why shouldn’t I be, couldn’t I be, just as pretty and impressive as Fani or any other girl at the event? Was it really so sinful to take pride in your appearance? Was I guilty of too much vanity? Would I open the door for the devil and the evil eye? How does anyone ever enjoy good fortune and pleasure if she is always worried about being too lucky? Why couldn’t I have the same thick skin as Tía Isabela and think of myself as someone special, no matter what anyone else thought or said? Hadn’t I already paid the high price for any happiness I would enjoy? Did even thinking of such questions mean I had gone too far and crossed over into the world of the damned? I’ll never enjoy anything in my life as long as I feel this way, I thought. In that
sense, Tía Isabela was right and someone to admire.

Hoping that I wasn’t turning my back completely on the honest and pure things my family in Mexico had given me, I set out for the fund-raiser, feeling proud and confident in my looks and appearance.

“Have fun with the snobs,” Sophia called to me as I passed her door.

I didn’t respond.

Tía Isabela joined me in the foyer, and we walked out, both elegantly dressed, both bedecked in jewels, looking like birds of a feather. Even though I knew in my heart that she was using me in her pursuit of Señor Bovio, I permitted her to take me under her wing and turn me into the Latina Cinderella Sophia mocked. Señor Garman looked at me with some astonishment and hurried to open the limousine doors for us.

“
Usted es muy hermosa, Delia
,” he whispered as I slipped into the limousine. Hearing him say I looked beautiful brought a blush to my cheeks.

“
Gracias
, Señor Garman,” I whispered back. Even so, I saw Tía Isabela had heard and smiled to herself as if I were entirely her creation.

When we arrived at the hotel, I realized all the plans and preparations were justified. It was like the movie premieres I had seen on television. There were spotlights in front of the entrance, and when we drove up, men in tuxedos were there to greet us immediately with glasses of champagne. Tía Isabela permitted me to have one.

“Tonight,” she whispered, “you cannot be a girl. You are a woman.”

Still, it made me nervous to walk into the ballroom with a glass of champagne. The guests who were ar
riving and had arrived were just as dressed up as we were, some even more so. Women were wearing tiaras that looked as if they cost thousands of dollars, and every gown I saw was surely as expensive as, if not more expensive than, the ones we were wearing.

There was music, and waiters and waitresses went about with more glasses of champagne and hors d’ouevres. Almost as soon as we entered the ballroom, an assistant for Señor Bovio rushed over to lead us through the aisle of tables dressed in beautiful centerpieces to the front tables, where Adan and his father were waiting and being greeted by one guest after another. Fani and her parents were there as well.

“That,” Tía Isabela said, nodding to my right, “is the current U.S. senator, not running this time, and over there is the attorney general of California.”

She identified all of the major local officials, mayors of cities and towns, state assemblymen, and state senators. She even pointed out old movie stars and singers and especially directed my attention to the billionaires and millionaires. It was all so overwhelming and dazzling I didn’t know where to look first. Fortunately, Adan pulled himself away from the guests and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek.

“You look fantastic,” he said. “I had to look twice to be sure I wasn’t dreaming.”

He took my hand and brought me to his father, who looked at me with more interest than I had expected. He gave Adan a look, too, and nodded his approval. After that, Adan began introducing me to other guests while
mi tía
Isabela stood off to the side near Adan’s father and met people as well, pausing every once in a while to give me a nod of approval.

Fani, who was with people I did not know, smiled and waved and nodded her approval. She finally excused herself to join me for a few moments.

“You look like you have arrived, Delia. I have to hand it to your aunt. She’s remade you, turned you into one of us. How’s sweet Sophia taking all this?”

“Badly,” I said and she laughed.

“Remember my warnings. Sophia doesn’t give up easily.”

When Adan returned this time, he looked at Fani and asked, “Well?”

“I love you, cousin,” she told him, and then, looking at me, she added, “but when it comes to men, Delia and I would rather put our faith in scorpions.”

He laughed, and Fani returned to her parents’ table.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“Fani refuses to be convinced about how much I like you, but she’ll come around and become a believer,” he said, kissing me softly on the cheek.

By the time we sat to start the dinner, my stomach was tied in such knots I didn’t think I could eat a morsel. I soon discovered that two of the empty chairs at the Bovio table were being held for the governor and his wife. When he entered the room, the band stopped, and the master of ceremonies introduced him. Everyone stood to applaud. He was just as he appeared on television. He spoke fluent Spanish, so when he finally reached our table and everyone was introduced, he turned to Adan and smiled at me when he said, “
Menos mi esposa, ella es la mujer más bonita aquí
.”

I didn’t think it was possible to blush any redder than I had already, but I felt the heat in my cheeks.

Adan leaned over to whisper, “He had to say except for his wife, but I could see it in his face. He thinks you’re the prettiest woman here.”

Mi tía
Isabela was beaming. I had come to California hoping that somehow she would accept me as her flesh and blood and together we would find ways to get beyond the ugliness of the past. Until this moment, nothing had ever given me hope of doing so, but I sensed that if she could exchange Sophia for me, she wouldn’t hesitate.

There were famous singers at the dinner to entertain. There was dancing to the twenty-six-piece orchestra and afterward some short speeches by other politicians praising Adan’s father. Before the evening was over, Adan told me his father’s campaign had raised nearly two and a half million dollars, with other pledges coming.

Sometime during the evening, while Adan was talking to other people and Tía Isabela was with Señor Bovio, I had time to think about something Tía Isabela had said. I had been defiant when she told me I would forget my life in Mexico, but sitting here among all these wealthy people, these glamorous celebrities and powerful politicians, it was nearly impossible to remember the dirt streets of my village, the tiny homes and poor laboring families. I had the strange feeling the old Delia was drowning in a sea of opulence and riches once beyond her imagination. The
hacienda
, my car, my new clothes, the jewelry I wore, all of it was far too bewitching. I even questioned the wisdom of sneaking off with Edward and Jesse to make the trip to my village.

Perhaps, I thought sadly, I was weaker than I had
thought. Perhaps there truly was more of
mi tía
Isabela in me than I had believed.

“Why so long a face, Delia?” Adan asked, surprising me.

I quickly smiled. “Long face?”

“You look like you’re unhappy. Aren’t you having a good time?”

“Oh, yes.”

“I wish we could do something more tonight, but—”

“Oh, this is enough,” I said, perhaps too quickly. He laughed.

“I guess it is,” he said. He kissed me on the cheek and then got pulled away to meet another politician’s son. Fani joined me again to tell me how good an impression I had made on everyone I had spoken to.

“You’re a quick learner, Delia. You’re going to be a big success.”

“At what?”

“At getting what you want,” she said, smiling coyly. “Just like the rest of us.”

She left me with that remark. I wasn’t happy about it, though. It made it sound as if Sophia was right. We were like each other, all of us, using each other for selfish goals.

I was happy when Tía Isabela told me we would be leaving. Adan promised to call me the next day with plans for another dinner or maybe just to have something simple and go to a movie.

“Whatever you want,” he said, walking us out to our limousine.

“Delia wants whatever you want, I’m sure, Adan,” Tía Isabela said, overhearing.

Adan smiled. “Thank you for your generous donation to my father’s campaign,” he told her.

“There are few causes as worthwhile,” she replied.

He kissed me softly on the lips, and then we got into the limousine. He remained there until we pulled away. Looking back at him resurrected my memory of Ignacio when I went off in the bus back in Mexico City and he waved his good-bye.

Only he now seemed much farther and smaller in my mind.

It brought tears to my eyes.

“You did well, Delia. I hear only good things about you. You’re on your way to becoming a real lady. I only wish I could say the same about Sophia,” Tía Isabela muttered, turning away.

Her wish would be reinforced moments after we arrived at the
hacienda
. The number of cars parked in front was the first warning. When we pulled up, Tía Isabela didn’t wait for Señor Garman to open her door. She lunged out. Even though the pool was a good distance behind the house, we could hear the loud music, laughter, and shouting going on. Sophia had either neglected to watch the clock or had decided to do something else to infuriate her mother.