And Alyssa wasn‟t talking to him. At all.
He‟d left their house in Lafayette after their argument to give her some
space, some time. In the ensuing twelve hours, she‟d changed the locks at
both her residence and the restaurant, as well as her home and cell phone
numbers. The next night, he‟d waited in Bonheur‟s packed parking lot like a
damn stalker for her to lock up and head home, just so he might steal a few
minutes with her, try to explain again that he was sorry and he loved her.
Instead, Tyler had rushed her to her car and curled his arm around her
protectively the second they‟d seen him next to her car. Tyler had shoved
him away just long enough to allow Alyssa to escape. The bastard had paid
for it; Luc knew he had a mean right cross. But it was too late to exchange
even a word with his wife.
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The next night, she‟d called him from the restaurant to reiterate her
plea to leave her alone. Before he could say much more than he was sorry
and that he loved her, she‟d hung up.
That had been a long, miserable eight days ago. Earlier this week,
he‟d gone back to L.A. and finished his taping. He could only imagine what
those episodes looked like, since he‟d been on autopilot the whole time. No
doubt he‟d get a call back to reshoot some.
Yesterday, he‟d likely ruined Deke and Kimber‟s Thanksgiving holiday.
They had so much to be thankful for and had invited all of Kimber‟s family.
Luc had tried to fade into the background, but Hunter had stared with those
knowing eyes as he‟d shaken his head and muttered, “Stupid fucker.” His
younger brother, Logan, had concurred.
“Anything from Alyssa?” Kimber tiptoed up to him, looking so contrite
that he could hardly be angry with her. She‟d merely assumed that, since
Alyssa was his wife, he‟d been honest with her about his “condition.”
“No.”
“I‟m so, so—”
“I know.” Luc couldn‟t hear her apologize again. It only reminded him
of everything that was wrong and wouldn‟t change a damn thing. He
gouged the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Why didn‟t I learn the first
time? Besides being my cousin, Deke is my best friend. I kept the truth
from him, too. It almost cost me our friendship. And I still didn‟t fucking
learn. I wanted her and that baby so badly . . .” He sighed. “I checked my
ethics at the door.”
“You thought she was lying to you as well, right, about who the baby‟s
father was?”
“Yeah, and at the time, that‟s how I justified my deception. But damn it,
to quote a cliché, two wrongs don‟t make a right.”
“True.” Kimber sighed. “What are you going to do? I‟ve never seen you
this miserable.”
“There are some things I should be elated about, you know? A year
ago, when I first started hearing from the cable network, the show was a
dream come true. For that to actually be a reality now . . . It‟s everything
I‟ve worked for, one of the goals in the back of my head when I stayed up
until all hours cooking the same dish for the tenth time that day and
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changing just one ingredient to see if I could make it better. It‟s one of the
reasons I broke my back to make so many personal appearances, put out
the best possible cookbooks. I wanted this opportunity to reach avid
foodies and share my love of sophisticated Southern cooking.”
“I‟m sure the shows will be great. Your personality will draw viewers in.
I just know it.”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Thing is, I‟m not sure I care that much
anymore.”
Kimber squeezed his hand. “You‟re just upset. God, if I‟d had any
idea—”
“Don‟t blame yourself for my wrongdoing. If I hadn‟t married her under
false pretenses, I wouldn‟t be in this mess.”
“I know you‟re hurting now, but there
are
things to be thankful for.
You‟ll find the love of your show again once you‟re in a better place
emotionally. You have your friends and family, a great house, a lot of talent.
You have your health.”
His health. Luc laughed bitterly. He had more than that.
“Dr. Kimjin called me this morning.”
Deke entered the room and stood behind his wife‟s chair, a casual
hand on her shoulder. “Is he the doctor who tested you last week in L.A.?”
Luc nodded. The man‟s words still rang in his ears.
“And?”
“In his words, me impregnating Alyssa isn‟t virtually impossible. He
classified it as challenging but not impossible at all. Apparently, in the last
nine years, my body healed some on its own and my sperm count
increased enough to make my chances of impregnating someone much
greater. He was still surprised we‟d managed it without fertility drugs or
surgical intervention. But he affirmed what I‟d already figured out: It‟s
entirely possible the baby is mine. In fact, I‟m sure it is.”
“That‟s great, man!” Deke enthused. “Wow.”
“Dr. Kimjin said that if my previous physician hadn‟t told me it was
possible my body could heal, he‟d done me a disservice.”
“And I take it he didn‟t tell you?” his cousin asked.
“Not a word. I wish to hell I‟d seen another doctor and gotten tested
sooner.”
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“But now you know.” Kimber‟s face softened. “Are you going to tell
Alyssa?”
Luc scoffed. “How? She‟s changed every lock, every phone number.
Even her e-mail account. She won‟t see me or talk to me. After putting her
trust in a lying scumbag when she was younger and experiencing a horrific
outcome, I‟m not surprised that she wants nothing to do with someone else
she sees as a betrayer.”
“But you love her,” Kimber argued.
Yeah, he did. So much that he knew he‟d never be whole without her.
But his feelings didn‟t change a damn thing.
Just then, the doorbell rang, and Kimber jumped up. “I‟ll get it.”
In her ensuing absence, Deke stared. “Man, you got to get it together
and go after her. The longer you stay away, the easier it is for her to
convince herself that she was right and you don‟t give a shit about her.”
Luc jumped to his feet. “What the fuck would you have me do? The
last time I was there, I practically stalked her just to see her face. I didn‟t
even get to talk to her.”
Deke scratched the back of his neck. “Did you send her flowers?”
Given the fact he‟d sent them to her with a polite note after the first
night he‟d spent with her, the one in which he was supposed to share her
with Deke? “She‟d see it as a kiss-off, not a romantic gesture. Besides, I
told her I love her. I‟m not sure she doubts that as much as she doubts that
I want her more than the baby.”
“Do you?” Deke‟s raised brows conveyed his shock without a word.
Luc nodded without hesitation. “For the last few years, I knew my life
was incomplete and, not knowing what was missing, I assumed it was
fatherhood—the one thing I‟d never experience, right? After Dr. Kimjin‟s
call, I tried to figure out why I wasn‟t more thankful, more relieved. All these
years I spent assuming that being a father would complete me, fill the void I
was physically incapable of fulfilling. It‟s human nature to want what you
can‟t have.”
“But you realized that what was missing was just a significant
someone with whom to share to your life.” Deke didn‟t ask; he knew.
“Yeah. How fucking stupid could I be? Fatherhood will be great, and I‟ll
always love this baby with all my heart. But I‟ll love its mother until the day I
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die, and it‟s killing me that I can‟t see her one more time and try to convince
her that she‟s my everything. The person I‟ve been seeking for years and I
just didn‟t know it.”
“Luc, there‟s someone at the door for you,” Kimber said softly, then bit
her lip. “I tried to tell them you were busy, but . . . he‟s insisting he talk to
you.”
“Reporter?”
Her gaze skirted away. “No.”
Alarm skittered through Luc as he put one foot in front of the other and
made his way out of the kitchen. The walk seemed to take forever, and he
feared what awaited him at its end. If this was a simple delivery, Kimber
would have handled it. Hell, she would have met his gaze.
He reached the door, his movements seemingly in slow motion even
though his heart was racing like a maxed-out, turbocharged engine. Finally,
he pulled it open and stared at the clean-shaven, fortysomething suit
standing in front of him. The man‟s face was somewhere between
businesslike and grim.
Luc swallowed.
“Are you Luc Traverson?” the man asked.
Unable to find his voice, Luc just nodded.
“I‟ve got some papers for you. Please sign here.” He thrust a clipboard
at Luc.
Papers
. Ominous. He feared he knew what kind of papers these were.
God, he couldn‟t even think about them, much less accept them.
Shaking his head, Luc stepped back. “What kind of papers?”
“I‟m not privy to that information, sir. My job is simply to deliver them.”
“No.” Luc didn‟t want to know what was inside the thick white envelope
tucked under the man‟s arm.
“Sir, you have to take the papers.”
Luc couldn‟t get a grip on his breathing. His heart skittered, stuttered.
He shook his head.
Deke approached him from behind and clapped him on the shoulder.
“Sign, buddy. We‟ll deal with whatever‟s in there. I promise.”
Was that even a promise Deke could keep? Luc wasn‟t sure he
could
deal with it.
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“Sir, please.” The messenger thrust the clipboard in his direction again.
“It‟s okay,” Deke whispered in his ear.
No, it wasn‟t, but burying his head in the sand wasn‟t going to make it
go away. Damn it.
With numb fingers, he grabbed the board and pen.
“Sign here.” The man pointed.
Luc‟s heart sank as he did and accepted the big white envelope.
Somehow, he just knew his life was over.
Faintly, he heard Deke mutter something polite and shut the door.
Deke grabbed him by the elbow and hauled him up. “Let‟s go back to
the kitchen and sit down.”
Luc was stunned to realize he was on his knees. Literally.
As he stumbled to his feet again, Deke guided him back to his chair.
The corner of the envelope cut into his palm, and the feeling that he‟d lost
everything wound through his blood like poison. The pity on Kimber‟s face
was an arrow to his chest. They all knew what he knew. Luc closed his
eyes as pain dismantled him one cell at a time.
Finally, he lurched into his chair. Deke pulled up one beside him.
“Open it.”
“No.” It would hurt too fucking much.
“This may be something from the network.”
Luc shook his head. “They‟d contact my agent first.”
“Maybe it‟s a written report from Dr. Kimjin.”
“He just received the results this morning. Besides, why not just fax
them?”
“You still have to open it.” Deke‟s gravelly voice grated on his brain.
“Would you fucking open it if you were in my shoes? If you were pretty
sure the envelope contained the end of your marriage and your happiness,
would you really just launch into it like it was any other piece of mail?”
Deke shot his wife a glance. His cousin‟s face was rife with love, and it
almost pained Luc to see them so happy. He wanted the best for them, but
if even fucked-up Deke had figured out how much Kimber meant to him
and managed to share a life with her, Luc wondered why the hell hadn‟t he
figured out sooner that he wanted the same with Alyssa. That he wanted it
all with her.
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“I‟d probably down a bottle of Jack first, but I‟d face reality. The Luc I
know would, too.”
Luc scoffed, trying to hold tears at bay. He didn‟t succeed. The little
drops were like a pickax to the back of his eyes. His throat tightened. “I
hate Jack Daniel‟s.”
“Well, since you haven‟t been around much, we haven‟t kept any of
your fancy cabernet sauvignon on hand. It‟s either Jack or sober.”
“Fuck.” Releasing a shuddering breath, he gripped the envelope.
“Sober.”
With dread sinking his heart, Luc edged his fingers under the sealed
flap of the thick envelope and tore it open. His fingers shook as he
withdrew the thick document inside. Big words in a fancy script jumped out
at him, stabbing him in the heart.
Ending his hopes of happiness forever.
“What does it say?” Kimber whispered.
He swallowed, but his voice was still scratchy and uneven as he read,
“Petition for marital annulment.”
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A
LYSSA entered her house with a tired sigh, avoiding her bare ring
finger and its meaning, and looked at her watch. Nearly one a.m. Luc
should have received the annulment papers by now, likely hours ago.
She‟d half expected him to call Bonheur tonight and demand to talk to her.
Silence. Or be waiting in her driveway when she arrived home. No one.
Nibbling on a ragged fingernail, she wondered what that meant. Would he
go along with the process and grant her the legal end of their marriage, as
if it had never taken place?