Delicious (44 page)

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Authors: Shayla Black

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want a confrontation. Just take your things and go.”

266

Shayla Black

His guts seized up into a ball. His breath stopped. Shock enough that

he‟d been awakened to the news she‟d been trapped in a burning building

and had escaped only with Tyler‟s and Hunter‟s help. But now she was

kicking him out? Saying they were done?

“Whatever has upset you, we can work it out, sugar. I‟m sorry I wasn‟t

here to protect you. I came back to check on you, be with you . . . What

happened that would make you pack my bags and—”

“I don‟t want to argue about it.”

Luc crossed the room, approached the far side of the bed, and sat on

the edge, beside her. Still she continued to look past him to the window.

Frustration rose, but he pushed it down, focusing on his concern for her as

he took her hand in his. It was cold.

“That makes two of us. So let‟s talk instead of fight. You tell me what

happened, and we‟ll talk it through. If you‟re angry that I wasn‟t here when

that bastard Primpton attacked you, believe me, no one could be more

upset than me.”

She shook her head, then finally looked away from the window, down

to her lap. “You had a job to do and you were doing it. We talked in

advance about the fact you needed to be in Los Angeles to fulfill your

contractual obligations.”

Her voice sounded dead. As the sunlight hit her cheeks, he saw the

silvery marks of dried tears, and they wrenched his heart. Upon closer

inspection, her red eyes and nose indicated she‟d cried hard. Now she had

no emotion left to give. That realization kicked him breathless.

Beating back his fear, he clutched her hand. “I‟m not worried about my

contractual obligations right now. I‟m worried about my wife.”

Alyssa squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, platinum hair

brushing her shoulders. “You‟re worried about the baby.”

“Of course.” Why would that be bad?

Finally, she looked at him. The fury and resolve he saw there stunned

Luc. His heart lurched. What the hell had happened since the attack? Had

Tyler talked her into leaving him somehow?

“At least you‟re being honest. Finally,” she sneered.

267

Shayla Black

A part of him rejoiced at her show of emotion. The other part . . . Dread

injected a new trepidation into his concern. He could think of only one thing

he‟d been less than honest about.

Oh, God, please no
.

“What do you mean?” He forced the words out, hearing his own voice

shake.

“I mean, I figured you‟d be concerned about the baby. I just never

clued in that the concern stopped there. You‟re always so tender and

attentive.” She shook her head, scoffing. “I‟m so damn stupid that I fell for

it. I keep trusting the wrong men.”

Had she just lumped him into the same category as Joshua? Fuck if

that didn‟t make his stomach clench and roll. “Alyssa—”

“I should have asked more questions about your reasons for marrying

me.” Her tone was a verbal lash to her own psyche, and hearing it damn

near killed him. “I knew you‟d proposed because of the baby. Deep down,

I‟d hoped that you cared for me, but . . . I never imagined that you actually

married
me believing the baby wasn‟t yours.”

Luc closed his eyes as his world imploded. Someone had told her his

secret, his shame. Someone had given her the information and let her draw

the worst conclusions. Since only two people knew, and Deke would never

spill, he knew exactly who had revealed the truth.

Kimber he‟d deal with later. Now he had to talk to Alyssa, make her

understand that his reasons for being married—staying married—had

everything to do with her, not just the baby.

“I‟m sorry that I didn‟t tell you about my . . . condition. The fact the

baby likely isn‟t mine doesn‟t change anything for me. I care about you

every bit as much as I care about this baby.”

Finally, she flashed blue eyes that spit fire at him. “Are you going to try

to convince me that, since our marriage, I‟ve come to mean something to

you?”

Luc grabbed her shoulders and forced his gaze deep into hers. “You

meant something to me even before we married. I was
so
elated and

relieved to see you the day you appeared at the department store. I was

ready to drop to my knees, say anything, just to make you talk to me. To

become engaged to you that night was more than I ever dared to hope for.”

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Shayla Black

She rolled her eyes. “Stop! Be honest! I appeared with the answer to

your fertility problem.
Then
I mattered. A woman you like to fuck

conveniently got pregnant. Hallelujah! And even if the baby isn‟t yours—I

guess that‟s a minor detail in your head—why not suddenly heap adoration

on her and persuade her to marry you?” Every word dripped scorn. “Why

not become her husband under false pretenses and encourage her to bear

her soul to you? She‟s just a fertile womb.”

The barrage of accusations pelted Luc, and he winced. He‟d have to

answer her quickly if he wanted to diffuse this situation. Clearly, he‟d hurt

her much worse than he‟d imagined. She felt used. That, he‟d never seen

coming. Damn it to hell.

“That is
not
true. I‟m sorry I didn‟t tell you about my sterility. In this moment, I regret it more than you know. Yes, you did come to me with a

convenient solution to my problem, but what I feel for you is so much

more.” He brought her closer, willing her to understand. “I missed you when

we were apart. Being separated from you felt like a part of myself was

missing, and I had a gaping hole in my chest where you used to be. I‟d love

more than anything for this baby to be mine, but . . . the odds are against

me.”

“So, Sherlock, whose baby is it? Tyler‟s?”

It would be so easy to lie to her—and so wrong. “I assumed that at

first. I know how he feels about you, and the way he touches you is so

familiar, as if he‟s done that—and more—a thousand times. But you‟ve said

that you aren‟t lovers, and I‟ve come to know you well enough to know that

you‟re not a liar.”

“Wish I had that same sense of security about you,” she hurled at him.

“So, at the time we married, you assumed Tyler was the lucky sperm

donor. Since you‟ve figured out that‟s not true, who do you assume I

whored myself to? Random customers at the club?”

He cupped her face in his hands. “Of course not. Either Peter raped

you, and you don‟t remember the event—”

“I remember everything perfectly. He never penetrated me. This is

your
child.”

“His attack was traumatic,” Luc hedged.

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Shayla Black

Alyssa wrenched away from his touch. “I didn‟t block it out. If I can still

remember the smell of the chlorine bleach on my sheets and the fact my

childhood teddy bear stared me in the face while Joshua forcibly took my

virginity, I think I can remember whether or not Peter succeeded in raping

me.”

Dear God
. Luc fought an urge to clutch her against him, and his

stomach turned inside out at her words. She sounded so certain that Peter

hadn‟t succeeded in violating her, which meant . . . Was it really possible

that he‟d managed to get her pregnant?

“Or?” she snapped. “What‟s the „or‟?”

“Or . . . my doctor was wrong about the severity of my condition.”

“Someone get the man a prize.” She bounded off the bed, away from

him.

He grabbed Alyssa and pulled her back into his lap. She struggled and

squirmed to get free. He held her firmly, but not tightly. He wanted her to

listen, not be frightened.

“God, I wish more than anything that my doctor had been wrong. I‟d

love to know that the life growing inside you now is one we created

together. But understand that, after years of being told that would be more

or less impossible, it‟s hard for me to comprehend.”

Her anger slipped into a mask of resignation. “I understand that. If a

doctor tells you something is impossible, you believe it. I would. I don‟t

blame you for that at all.”

Thank God. Maybe they
could
work through this mess.

Then she worked free of his grip and bolted across the room, fists

clenched, and screamed through gritted teeth, “What I can‟t stand is the

goddamn deception!”

Her demeanor shouted, “Stay the fuck away,” and Luc respected it.

Trying to comfort her would only be counterproductive, and he wanted her

to work through her anger. She was definitely entitled to it. Certainly he was

questioning his decisions now. Had not telling her the truth been truly been

keeping the peace or mere cowardice?

“I can only tell you that, when you informed me you were pregnant, I

wanted you and the baby so badly, I don‟t have words to explain it. Every

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Shayla Black

nerve in my body screamed at me to make you mine forever. I didn‟t think

that telling the truth would serve any purpose except to tear us apart.”

“The truth
is
tearing us apart.” She shook her head, face tense. Tears

threatened to spill, and Luc hated that he‟d put that look on her face. “When

we married, it was enough for me that you were the father of my baby. I

thought I loved you enough for both of us, and that someday, you might

come to love me, too.”

She loved him? The elation he should have felt died a quick death,

strangled by fear. Alyssa had spoken in past tense.

“You don‟t have to hope, sugar. I love you. I—”

“Convenient to say now. Do you really think three words will make

everything better?”

Luc stood, swallowing down his dread. “No, and that‟s not why I‟m

saying them now. I know it will take time for me to prove it to you. But it‟s

the truth, and I‟m relieved to finally say how I feel.”

Alyssa turned her back on him. “How am I supposed to ever believe

you?”

He didn‟t have an easy answer except trust—the one thing he‟d

shattered between them. “Please . . . I swear. I‟m telling you the truth.”

“The same sort of truth you told when you led me to believe you knew

the baby was yours?” She laughed. “They‟re just words and they don‟t

mean a damn thing.”

“That‟s crap! From where I‟m standing, they mean
everything
.” Luc

raked a hand through his hair. How to make her see that his feelings were

deep and wide and went on forever? “We married because you were

pregnant. You‟re still pregnant, and I still want to be a husband and father.

This could have been any other marriage of convenience . . . except we fell

in love.
Love
, sugar. It‟s too good to just throw away. We have to come

together and work through the misunderstanding, even if it takes a while.”

“It‟s not a misunderstanding; it‟s a
lie
. You can‟t use those three little words to put a verbal Band-Aid over the fact that you apparently have so

little respect for me, you immediately assumed the baby was another

man‟s. You kept critical information from me, seduced me into believing

you cared—”

271

Shayla Black

“I do care, goddamn it! Have you been listening? I. Love. You. I never

really knew what that meant until you.”

Alyssa shot him a disbelieving glare. “You love me so much you never

told me the truth, never bothered to get a second opinion about whether

you could possibly father a child, just in case your doctor was wrong—”

“Actually, I made an appointment on Friday to be retested at a clinic in

L.A. I‟m hoping the second opinion will be different and this baby is mine.”

“This new doctor will tell you what I already know: You‟re capable of

siring a child. I have no doubt you‟ll be an incredible father, and I‟ll never

take this child away from you. He or she is half you and should know its

father. But none of the rest of this shit matters. For us, your sudden

confession and „I love you‟s are too little, too late. Good-bye, Luc.”

THE day after Thanksgiving, and Luc stared out the window of his

Tyler, Texas, home at the blustery, gray day. He had reasons to be

thankful, he supposed. Feeling it was impossible when he was numb to

everything but the terrible emptiness inside him, an emptiness he knew

could be filled only by his wife.

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