want a confrontation. Just take your things and go.”
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Shayla Black
His guts seized up into a ball. His breath stopped. Shock enough that
he‟d been awakened to the news she‟d been trapped in a burning building
and had escaped only with Tyler‟s and Hunter‟s help. But now she was
kicking him out? Saying they were done?
“Whatever has upset you, we can work it out, sugar. I‟m sorry I wasn‟t
here to protect you. I came back to check on you, be with you . . . What
happened that would make you pack my bags and—”
“I don‟t want to argue about it.”
Luc crossed the room, approached the far side of the bed, and sat on
the edge, beside her. Still she continued to look past him to the window.
Frustration rose, but he pushed it down, focusing on his concern for her as
he took her hand in his. It was cold.
“That makes two of us. So let‟s talk instead of fight. You tell me what
happened, and we‟ll talk it through. If you‟re angry that I wasn‟t here when
that bastard Primpton attacked you, believe me, no one could be more
upset than me.”
She shook her head, then finally looked away from the window, down
to her lap. “You had a job to do and you were doing it. We talked in
advance about the fact you needed to be in Los Angeles to fulfill your
contractual obligations.”
Her voice sounded dead. As the sunlight hit her cheeks, he saw the
silvery marks of dried tears, and they wrenched his heart. Upon closer
inspection, her red eyes and nose indicated she‟d cried hard. Now she had
no emotion left to give. That realization kicked him breathless.
Beating back his fear, he clutched her hand. “I‟m not worried about my
contractual obligations right now. I‟m worried about my wife.”
Alyssa squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, platinum hair
brushing her shoulders. “You‟re worried about the baby.”
“Of course.” Why would that be bad?
Finally, she looked at him. The fury and resolve he saw there stunned
Luc. His heart lurched. What the hell had happened since the attack? Had
Tyler talked her into leaving him somehow?
“At least you‟re being honest. Finally,” she sneered.
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Shayla Black
A part of him rejoiced at her show of emotion. The other part . . . Dread
injected a new trepidation into his concern. He could think of only one thing
he‟d been less than honest about.
Oh, God, please no
.
“What do you mean?” He forced the words out, hearing his own voice
shake.
“I mean, I figured you‟d be concerned about the baby. I just never
clued in that the concern stopped there. You‟re always so tender and
attentive.” She shook her head, scoffing. “I‟m so damn stupid that I fell for
it. I keep trusting the wrong men.”
Had she just lumped him into the same category as Joshua? Fuck if
that didn‟t make his stomach clench and roll. “Alyssa—”
“I should have asked more questions about your reasons for marrying
me.” Her tone was a verbal lash to her own psyche, and hearing it damn
near killed him. “I knew you‟d proposed because of the baby. Deep down,
I‟d hoped that you cared for me, but . . . I never imagined that you actually
married
me believing the baby wasn‟t yours.”
Luc closed his eyes as his world imploded. Someone had told her his
secret, his shame. Someone had given her the information and let her draw
the worst conclusions. Since only two people knew, and Deke would never
spill, he knew exactly who had revealed the truth.
Kimber he‟d deal with later. Now he had to talk to Alyssa, make her
understand that his reasons for being married—staying married—had
everything to do with her, not just the baby.
“I‟m sorry that I didn‟t tell you about my . . . condition. The fact the
baby likely isn‟t mine doesn‟t change anything for me. I care about you
every bit as much as I care about this baby.”
Finally, she flashed blue eyes that spit fire at him. “Are you going to try
to convince me that, since our marriage, I‟ve come to mean something to
you?”
Luc grabbed her shoulders and forced his gaze deep into hers. “You
meant something to me even before we married. I was
so
elated and
relieved to see you the day you appeared at the department store. I was
ready to drop to my knees, say anything, just to make you talk to me. To
become engaged to you that night was more than I ever dared to hope for.”
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Shayla Black
She rolled her eyes. “Stop! Be honest! I appeared with the answer to
your fertility problem.
Then
I mattered. A woman you like to fuck
conveniently got pregnant. Hallelujah! And even if the baby isn‟t yours—I
guess that‟s a minor detail in your head—why not suddenly heap adoration
on her and persuade her to marry you?” Every word dripped scorn. “Why
not become her husband under false pretenses and encourage her to bear
her soul to you? She‟s just a fertile womb.”
The barrage of accusations pelted Luc, and he winced. He‟d have to
answer her quickly if he wanted to diffuse this situation. Clearly, he‟d hurt
her much worse than he‟d imagined. She felt used. That, he‟d never seen
coming. Damn it to hell.
“That is
not
true. I‟m sorry I didn‟t tell you about my sterility. In this moment, I regret it more than you know. Yes, you did come to me with a
convenient solution to my problem, but what I feel for you is so much
more.” He brought her closer, willing her to understand. “I missed you when
we were apart. Being separated from you felt like a part of myself was
missing, and I had a gaping hole in my chest where you used to be. I‟d love
more than anything for this baby to be mine, but . . . the odds are against
me.”
“So, Sherlock, whose baby is it? Tyler‟s?”
It would be so easy to lie to her—and so wrong. “I assumed that at
first. I know how he feels about you, and the way he touches you is so
familiar, as if he‟s done that—and more—a thousand times. But you‟ve said
that you aren‟t lovers, and I‟ve come to know you well enough to know that
you‟re not a liar.”
“Wish I had that same sense of security about you,” she hurled at him.
“So, at the time we married, you assumed Tyler was the lucky sperm
donor. Since you‟ve figured out that‟s not true, who do you assume I
whored myself to? Random customers at the club?”
He cupped her face in his hands. “Of course not. Either Peter raped
you, and you don‟t remember the event—”
“I remember everything perfectly. He never penetrated me. This is
your
child.”
“His attack was traumatic,” Luc hedged.
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Shayla Black
Alyssa wrenched away from his touch. “I didn‟t block it out. If I can still
remember the smell of the chlorine bleach on my sheets and the fact my
childhood teddy bear stared me in the face while Joshua forcibly took my
virginity, I think I can remember whether or not Peter succeeded in raping
me.”
Dear God
. Luc fought an urge to clutch her against him, and his
stomach turned inside out at her words. She sounded so certain that Peter
hadn‟t succeeded in violating her, which meant . . . Was it really possible
that he‟d managed to get her pregnant?
“Or?” she snapped. “What‟s the „or‟?”
“Or . . . my doctor was wrong about the severity of my condition.”
“Someone get the man a prize.” She bounded off the bed, away from
him.
He grabbed Alyssa and pulled her back into his lap. She struggled and
squirmed to get free. He held her firmly, but not tightly. He wanted her to
listen, not be frightened.
“God, I wish more than anything that my doctor had been wrong. I‟d
love to know that the life growing inside you now is one we created
together. But understand that, after years of being told that would be more
or less impossible, it‟s hard for me to comprehend.”
Her anger slipped into a mask of resignation. “I understand that. If a
doctor tells you something is impossible, you believe it. I would. I don‟t
blame you for that at all.”
Thank God. Maybe they
could
work through this mess.
Then she worked free of his grip and bolted across the room, fists
clenched, and screamed through gritted teeth, “What I can‟t stand is the
goddamn deception!”
Her demeanor shouted, “Stay the fuck away,” and Luc respected it.
Trying to comfort her would only be counterproductive, and he wanted her
to work through her anger. She was definitely entitled to it. Certainly he was
questioning his decisions now. Had not telling her the truth been truly been
keeping the peace or mere cowardice?
“I can only tell you that, when you informed me you were pregnant, I
wanted you and the baby so badly, I don‟t have words to explain it. Every
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Shayla Black
nerve in my body screamed at me to make you mine forever. I didn‟t think
that telling the truth would serve any purpose except to tear us apart.”
“The truth
is
tearing us apart.” She shook her head, face tense. Tears
threatened to spill, and Luc hated that he‟d put that look on her face. “When
we married, it was enough for me that you were the father of my baby. I
thought I loved you enough for both of us, and that someday, you might
come to love me, too.”
She loved him? The elation he should have felt died a quick death,
strangled by fear. Alyssa had spoken in past tense.
“You don‟t have to hope, sugar. I love you. I—”
“Convenient to say now. Do you really think three words will make
everything better?”
Luc stood, swallowing down his dread. “No, and that‟s not why I‟m
saying them now. I know it will take time for me to prove it to you. But it‟s
the truth, and I‟m relieved to finally say how I feel.”
Alyssa turned her back on him. “How am I supposed to ever believe
you?”
He didn‟t have an easy answer except trust—the one thing he‟d
shattered between them. “Please . . . I swear. I‟m telling you the truth.”
“The same sort of truth you told when you led me to believe you knew
the baby was yours?” She laughed. “They‟re just words and they don‟t
mean a damn thing.”
“That‟s crap! From where I‟m standing, they mean
everything
.” Luc
raked a hand through his hair. How to make her see that his feelings were
deep and wide and went on forever? “We married because you were
pregnant. You‟re still pregnant, and I still want to be a husband and father.
This could have been any other marriage of convenience . . . except we fell
in love.
Love
, sugar. It‟s too good to just throw away. We have to come
together and work through the misunderstanding, even if it takes a while.”
“It‟s not a misunderstanding; it‟s a
lie
. You can‟t use those three little words to put a verbal Band-Aid over the fact that you apparently have so
little respect for me, you immediately assumed the baby was another
man‟s. You kept critical information from me, seduced me into believing
you cared—”
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Shayla Black
“I do care, goddamn it! Have you been listening? I. Love. You. I never
really knew what that meant until you.”
Alyssa shot him a disbelieving glare. “You love me so much you never
told me the truth, never bothered to get a second opinion about whether
you could possibly father a child, just in case your doctor was wrong—”
“Actually, I made an appointment on Friday to be retested at a clinic in
L.A. I‟m hoping the second opinion will be different and this baby is mine.”
“This new doctor will tell you what I already know: You‟re capable of
siring a child. I have no doubt you‟ll be an incredible father, and I‟ll never
take this child away from you. He or she is half you and should know its
father. But none of the rest of this shit matters. For us, your sudden
confession and „I love you‟s are too little, too late. Good-bye, Luc.”
THE day after Thanksgiving, and Luc stared out the window of his
Tyler, Texas, home at the blustery, gray day. He had reasons to be
thankful, he supposed. Feeling it was impossible when he was numb to
everything but the terrible emptiness inside him, an emptiness he knew
could be filled only by his wife.