Deliciously Obedient (41 page)

It
was time to show the world who she really was.

But
it was Mike’s turn, first.

“
Pete,”
Mike said amiably, walking to him and extending a hand. Her dad shook
it, a confused look on his face as his eyes caught hers, then
Jeremy’s, and finally settled on Mike’s.

“
Mike?
You back?”

Mike
gave Lydia a look of affection. Oh, he clearly wasn’t holding
anything back. The butterflies in her stomach turned into Mothra.
This was why they were here.

To
come clean.

Two
worlds were about to collide, Lydia at the intersection. She would
come out of this crushed, or freed.

Or
crushed
and
freed.

Suspicion
filled Pete’s eyes as he stepped back from the handshake and
planted his hands on his hips. Dressed in jeans and three layers on
top, plus a ski jacket, he was far better equipped for the cold night
than Lydia, who began to chatter uncontrollably.

“
For
God’s sake, Lydia, get inside and warm up by the stove.” Her
dad’s voice was commanding and rougher than usual. Involuntarily
she responded, hopping back to the rec hall where they’d just been,
dreading finding her mother and having to explain
this
.

For
the past three days all she’d done was contemplate this. Whatever
this was, it was her
—
what
she wanted and who she wanted to be. Countless phone calls and text
sessions with Krysta solidified her understanding that the struggle
inside her wasn’t real. Deep down, there was no conflict. She
wanted both men.

The
torment came from the clash between what society expected and what
her heart knew.

And
now that conflict was staring her in the face as she huddled under a
blanket by the wood stove, Sandy’s curious eyes shattering Lydia’s
soul.

What
came next would change her entire family forever.

Forever.

Leaving
home had been hard. Losing Luke to war had been torturous. The
Charles family had weathered many struggles, but this one was Lydia’s
alone to live, yet the ripple effect of losing her parents’ love
made the fear inside so much stronger than she’d ever felt in her
life.

“
Lydia?
You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The
ghost of shame, she almost blurted out. The pit of her stomach burned
with anxiety.

“
No,
Mom, it’s just
—
”

Sandy’s
eyes looked over her shoulder, widening in surprise. “Jeremy!”
she said, standing to give him a hug.

And
then her mom came to a dead halt.

“
Mike.”
The word carried so many implications, the clipped sound of the
k
filling Lydia with a sense of foreboding more concentrated than her
fear. That tone meant something, but she couldn’t yet tease it out.

Mom
didn’t talk like that.

That
severely reinforced her fear. Fear alone, though, couldn’t stop her
from facing this head on.

Pete
walked in behind the men, and gave Sandy an inscrutable look. Lydia’s
panic both bloomed and receded, leaving her exhausted and in alert,
the mixture of feelings like so many parts of her life these days.

Divergent.

“
Mike,”
Pete said in a confirming voice, his tone lowering at the end of the
single syllable.

“
Now
that we all know my name,” Mike said, steady and strong in a way
that made Lydia feel more grounded, “how about we warm up and
talk.”

“
It’s
about time,” Sandy said, her eyes challenging. Mike just narrowed
his and gave a sad smile, but never looked down.

Jeremy
lounged at the doorway, leaning as though propping up the building.
Lydia gave him the most imperceptible of nods and he joined her, Mike
moving as well until the three sat on the couch, facing the fire,
Lydia bookended by her two men.

Her
two men.

Sandy
took a chair next to the fire and Pete sat on the floor next to her,
his arm casually draped across her knees. Both looked so tense. Her
parents couldn’t stop looking at Mike. Surreal. A part of her
wished they’d focus on her, because she knew how to handle their
emotional attention when she was at the epicenter, even if it was
negative.

Having
them zero in on someone she cared for pulled her in too many
directions, as if she were being drawn and quartered psychologically.

“
About
time?” Mike asked as Lydia reached over and took his hand. The look
that passed between Pete and Sandy gave Lydia chills, because this
time she realized: they knew.

“
Miles
told you, didn’t he?” Her voice was cold, like Sandy’s.

“
Miles?”
Her dad didn’t even try to play dumb. “No.”

“
Then
you know,” Mike said, trying to engage Pete, who looked at him with
a hardness in his eyes that made Lydia want to cry.

“
About
the video? Yes.”

“
Daddy,
why didn’t you say something?” Lydia jumped to her feet, too
pumped and overwhelmed to try to stay warm under the blanket, her
hands and feet bricks of ice, her heart melting. “You knew?” She
turned to Sandy, who just nodded.

“
Yes,”
Pete said simply.

“
And
you knew who I was. Who I am,” Mike added, his words rolling slowly
from his tongue as he processed everything in real time. Jeremy
looked up from his seat at Lydia and she gave a small shrug.
I’m
as lost as you are.
The way he
looked at her told her he was in this with her, and that she wasn’t
imagining the tension, the confusion, or the tightrope sense that a
giant spiderweb of unresolved
secrets
was about to be untangled.

If
not destroyed.

“
That
you’re really Michael Bournham? Yes.” Stunned to hear her mother
say it, Lydia tried to meet her eyes but diverted at the last second,
her throat closing and ears filled with the rush of blood pounding
through her. She knew? Dad knew? How?

“
How
did you—”

“
Lydia,”
Sandy said in the same tone she’d used earlier when saying Mike’s
name. “We’re not stupid. You like to think we’re naïve when it
comes to technology, but when a video like that becomes news, you
can’t miss it. It was everywhere. I was looking for a good crab
cake recipe and
bam
—there was my daughter, caught on tape.”

Her
acerbic tone made Mike wince.

“
That’s
some major viral penetration,” Jeremy muttered. Lydia smacked his
shoulder and he widened his eyes as everyone looked at him.

“
Nothing.
Go on,” he choked out.

“
You
never said a word the entire time I was here,” Mike said, joining
Lydia, on his feet and yet loose, in command of himself and fully
braced, it seemed, for however this all unfolded.

“
We
thought the cash payment was strange. And the super-short hair. But
c’mon, Mike,” Pete chided, “you’re Michael Bournham. It took
about one minute for a camper to recognize you and ask me, and then
it clicked.”

“
When
I checked in, did you know that it was Lydia in the video?”

Pete’s
jaw tightened. “No.”

“
You
figured it out later?”

“
When
Lydia called to tell us about Iceland, we thought something was up.
And you were here about two, three days,” Sandy said, searching
Pete for confirmation. He nodded.

“
You
didn’t say anything.” His tone was open. It wasn’t an
accusation. Curiosity infused his expression.

“
Not
our issue to bring up. We figured you were here for a reason.”

“
But
you didn’t bring it up with
me
!’ Lydia gasped, angry tears
flowing now, her face hot and red with incredulity. “You let me
move to Iceland and come back and bring Jeremy and...and you said
nothing!
Nothing
!” All the hiding, the covert talking with
Krysta, the threats to Miles, the promises extracted from Grandma—all
of it had been in vain? She’d wasted s–o much time and energy
hiding the truth from her mom and dad that it had never occurred to
her that they knew the truth.

And
had said nothing.

The
rush of relief that she should have felt at having the secrets out of
the way never came, because in its stead there was a new sensation, a
creeping fury that seeped in. All the energy she’d invested in
juggling so many hidden aspects of who she was turned out to have
been a giant emotional suck.

“
Lydia,”
Sandy sighed, standing and walking to her, taking her hands. Mom’s
warm palms felt like flames against Lydia’s ice-cold fingers. “We
have tried so hard to respect your need for independence. Unlike your
brothers, you always wanted to be given more latitude when it came to
living a life outside of the campground. Finding the right balance
between making sure you we welcomed and loved while giving you space
hasn’t been easy.”

Pete
snorted. “We fuck it up all the time.”

“
Pete!”

“
I
think we can say the word ‘fuck’ in front of them at a time like
this, dear.”

“
You
can say ‘fuck’ any time,” Lydia added, giving Jeremy a fierce
look, because she realized the words
That’s what she said
were about to come out of his mouth.

He
just snickered and covered his mouth with his hand, trying and
failing miserably to look casual.

An
intrusive silence descended over the room, the snaps and clicks of
the fire the only noise for a few beats as the group tried to sort
out what to do next.

Mike
took control. “Pete,” he said, catching her dad’s eye, “and
Sandy,” he added, doing the same. “I never came here to deceive
you. I realize I did, and I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, his
face somber, and Lydia saw the splash of freckles on his cheeks, so
boyish, even as the skin under his eyes carried a seriousness.

“
When
the camera caught us on tape I realized my error, and I did whatever
I could to protect Lydia.”

Pete’s
look went beyond skepticism and bordered on homicidal. When did her
dad become so...badass? She saw so much of Miles in him in that
moment, and caught a glimpse of the young man he must have been when
her mom met him.

Of
course he was angry. She was his little girl, and Mike had humiliated
her—globally—sent her off to Iceland, moved to the campground and
lied to them, and now here he was trying to atone and—

And
it would all be fine.

A
glow filled her, a sense—even as she cataloged her dad’s fury and
her mom’s indignation—that by choosing her own authenticity, she
would be fine. Even if her parents rejected her choices, they would
never reject her.

Which
made standing up for what she really wanted all the more important.

“
If
you call sending her off to Iceland with a fake job ‘protecting’
her—” Pete started.

“
Fake?”
Lydia screeched. “not fake!”

Mike
gave an equivocating look. “It wasn’t fake, but it was a new
position created to assist with...” A half-sigh, half-grunt came
from the back of his throat as he closed his eyes and seemed to
gather his thoughts. “To help Lydia escape media scrutiny.”