Deliverance (28 page)

We stood by the glass window near the arrivals and as soon as the family came into sight, my heart dropped at Guillaume’s state. He looked like he’d lost at least ten pounds. He was pale, listless. In fact, he looked a lot like Nakissa did after her summoning, but I knew Guillaume’s pain lay elsewhere. After a quick look to make sure no one was paying us any attention, I gave Nakissa’s hand a quick squeeze. I was glad she’d come with me.

I greeted Antoine, Guillaume, and old man Robert by hugging them and I bowed my head to Kateri as was appropriate here. Nakissa, who wasn’t as worried about acting appropriately, gave everyone a quick handshake.

  “She really seemed okay when you saw her?’ Guillaume asked me the moment introductions were over.

“I told you, she wasn’t really herself. But, she was otherwise unharmed. I think we can get your Aude back.”

He nodded with red rimmed eyes.

“We can discuss our plan at the hotel. This isn’t the best place. We squeezed our four visitors in the backseat of my car, and ignored the “fastening the seat belt is mandatory” signs along the expressway. Ignoring road rules, I was fitting in more and more to the Tehran lifestyle.

Nakissa explained different landmarks in heavily accented English and we automatically turned our heads this way and that to follow her narrative, but in reality we were all lost in thoughts of what would come next. All nervous.

“Nakissa and I have a plan.” I looked at them through the rear view mirror to make sure they were paying attention.

“We have a way to turn me back,” Nakissa said.

“Turn you back? Back where?” Antoine asked.

Her features momentarily turned down into a small frown. “I’m sorry. I thought Garnier had filled you in about me.”

“Apparently Garnier was a little too busy to fill us in on the details,” Guillaume answered.

“Guillaume,” Antoine warned.

“We thought he was here to protect Aude from Ramtin, not to flirt and find himself a girlfriend. I’m interested to know what he’s told this girl about us. Aren’t you? Does she even understand what she’s dealing with?”

“Enough,” I said.

Nakissa laughed and I knew that laugh came from the part of her soul that had been around for over a millennium. It came from Nagissa.

“Of course I know what you are. But you, on the other hand, have no idea. You’re all newborns. You don’t even know how to control your own essence. It’s very cute that you rely on witches. Cute, but inefficient.”

“What are you?” Guillaume asked.

“What I was and what I will be are different from what I am now.” She paused. “When I was made, sometime in the fifth century, Gargoyles were made with the pure essence of Jinn. The kings from the Book of Kings lived for centuries sometimes. Why do you think that is? They were Gargoyles. Though they lived much more dangerous lives and did not survive as long as their court musicians.”

“You’re not a Gargoyle,” Guillaume said.

“No, not anymore, and that brings us back to our plan. We have a Jinni willing to sacrifice herself.”

“Wait. There is a way to be human again?” Guillaume now leaned forward in his seat, attentively listening to Nakissa. Of course he would want to be human. Wouldn’t that just suit broody Guillaume so much? I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. Couldn’t he understand just once that other people suffer too? Other people love and lose.

“Yes, but you have to die and be reborn.”

“Nakissa’s solution to becoming human was a desperate and courageous act to stay alive. It will not help you live a normal life with Aude.”

He shrugged. “It was worth asking. You wouldn’t understand, Garnier. With Aude missing it’s made it all so much more real. After everything we’ve been through, the thought that I will have to lose her one day, and it will be forever… Well, it’s just too much.”

 “Not right now, Guillaume. You can feel sorry for yourself later. Now we talk about stopping Ramtin.” I turned to Nakissa for support but she didn’t look back to me. She stared out of the window, deep in thought. The sight of her like this put a pain in my heart, though I didn’t know exactly why.

The garden in the Jinn compound is beautiful, and the statue I’m sitting beside is even more gorgeous. This majestic creature that is part eagle and part lion was to be my new stone form. I stroke the cold statue and am a little relieved at the decision I made earlier today.

It had been bothering me since the ride back from the airport, but listening to the story of Aude and Guillaume, I knew I had to do this. Now, all I have to do is to tell Garnier.

  I know much of the story now, and the heartbreak he’s suffered with Marguerite and the last thing I want to give him is more suffering so I hope he understands. He has to understand that to make any other decision is to go back to who Nagissa was.

I see him in the distance. His dark blue jeans and untucked light pink dress shirt fit him perfectly. His hands are in his pockets but he walks quickly towards me. He’s amazing.

Once the distance between us is closed, he takes me in his arms. They feel so strong and warm. This is where I belong. I wrap my own arms around his neck and put my lips to his. He smells so good and feels so good. I wish I had the time to stay like this forever.

We could be together forever.

I waste another moment like this. Regretting my decision, yet unable to unmake it. It is not our time yet. I pull away.

He places his hand on the statue’s head. “Is this the form you will take?”

I bite my lip and shake my head. “No. I need to talk to you.”

He sits on the nearby stone bench and motions for me to join him. I don’t, but I watch him. I hope he can see how much I don’t want to hurt him.

“We have to save Aude first.”

“It would be easier to save her if you were in Gargoyle form.”

“Maybe… or maybe not. I’ve been thinking about our plan and I think what we really need to defeat Ramtin is the element of surprise. If we save Aude first and I can use my own powers to train her how to use her really unique essence combination… and…” I look at my feet.

“And?”

“It makes more sense to change her.”

He doesn’t answer. “Garnier?”

“I thought maybe you were having doubts about taking Pareen’s life. I thought maybe you wanted to wait a few years before becoming one of us again. But that’s not it? You want to give this to Aude.”

He leans in, his forearms resting on his knees, his hands clasped together. The ground in front of his feet has all of his attention. “This is about Guillaume taking something from me again,” he whispers.

I take his hands in mine and he looks up to me.

“He’s not taking anything,” I say.

“Did he ask you to do this?”

“No. Of course not.” I sit next to him. “Aude has less power than me as far as spiritual essence is concerned, but she has something else. Her native heritage allows her to manipulate natural essence too. This combination as a Gargoyle will be much more powerful. Maybe even more powerful than Ramtin. This can give us the advantage.”

“But we still have to rescue Aude.”

 “I have my power back and I’ve learned a thing or two over the past millennium. With Kateri’s help, I can handle it.”

“Kateri?”

“Shaman magic. I’ve encountered it before; I know a thing or two about it. I can help her and she can help me in turn.”

“So that’s it. You’re going to leave me out of it and take off on your own to rescue Aude. Rescue her then give her the gift of immortality and leave me.”

“Maybe we can still find a way for me. We know it’s possible. Maybe there will be a new opportunity for me to go back to how I was. But not now.”

I look at him until his eyes meet mine. “I feel it with everything inside of me. Now is not my time.”

“What about what I want? I need you.”

I pause. No one has ever needed me before. But isn’t this why I have to do this? Because for the first time, many people need me. Aude is the better choice. She is the weaker witch but would be the stronger Gargoyle.

“You have me, Garnier. You have me as I am now, and this is who you could really fall for. When I was a Gargoyle, you were never able to get through to me the way you do now. This is better for us, too. I want to stay Nakissa. I can’t lose myself and return to her.”

“It wouldn’t be like that. You’d still be you.”

“But in a way it would be. Garnier, please understand. This is the best decision for everyone. You are strong. Much stronger than Guillaume. Guillaume and Aude need this.”

“I am not that strong.”

I put my arms around him and smile a sad smile to myself. This weakness is exactly what makes him stronger than anyone I know.

“I’m not strong. I lose everyone I love. I lost you before, and I’ll lose you again. I can’t take any more loss. Not so soon after Vincent.”

“Shhh. You’re not losing me.”

“You don’t know that. You plan to take on Ramtin with no one’s help but a young shaman girl who doesn’t know her powers. Vincent was fighting with better odds. He had us with him. He had the shamans with him. And still the stone monster killed him. Please. Don’t let me lose you.” He started to shake and I just held on to him tighter.

I wouldn’t leave him. Not for a long time.