Delusive (13 page)

“He’s like his father,” he surmised, his voice quavering in anger.

I conceded with a nod. “Yes, I think so.”

He waved his arms in a controlled fashion. “That’s settled. This thing is done. I don’t know what we’ll do, but we can’t continue.”

I stood to my feet, wringing my hands and wishing I hadn’t opened my mouth and told him the truth. “We have to.”

“If that’s the case, he needs to meet me, Hanley. Soon.” He audibly swallowed, and his eyes began to wildly search the room. Standing, he set the box down on the couch and retrieved a single cigar. Shaking his head and mumbling to himself, he walked over to the desk. Sitting on the corner of the desk, he rolled a fat brown cigar between his fingers. “Or he might not get a chance to. I don’t want to sacrifice you to another monster, Hanley. I know what I said earlier, but—if it’s too dangerous, we need to back off.”

“Give me time,” I pleaded. “I think things will fall into place once I figure out who he wants me to be. I keep bouncing around trying out different angles with him and I feel like I’m failing.” I stared at the wall, thinking about how I hadn’t heard from him in the few days since he persuaded me to buy his brother’s car.
 

I'd check my phone every five minutes, looking for his call or a text. I couldn’t call or text him and be rendered as readily available. Restraining myself from him and whatever he was doing to me quickly verged on an unmanageable task. The lapses in time between when we saw each other again had to have been deliberate on his end. It was a dance in which he pulled me to him, only to cut all ties for a while, tempting me to go insane with the space he’d placed between us at sporadic intervals. I wouldn't allow it to work.

“If you really think you should continue because it will work, just be yourself, Hanley. Be yourself and it will all fall into place. I don’t have to tell you I’m uneasy about all of it.” Sighing, he turned to the window behind the couch. “The car in the driveway? Did he give it to you? Or did you buy it? Nothing comes for free and you aren’t that kind of woman. I don’t want him to have anything over you.”
 

“I bought it,” I admitted, knowing full well I hadn’t really purchased the car. Recalling what Elias had said, I couldn’t abate the feeling my payment was pending. “It was a gift from a client that his brother wanted to get rid of. I got it for a steal.”

“Brother? What brother?” He threw up his hands. “Unbelievable! What have I always told you, Hanley? Don’t be like your mother.”

“I remember, Dad. I have to play this his way. He’s different.” I inched my way toward the door, hoping to avoid discussing Keith. “He has a very intense personality.”
 

“Would he ever hurt you?”

I shook my head. “No. Not physically.” Hearing the words and the way they were said with uncertainty, I felt a tinge of the truth. If pushed, he would hurt me. While he wouldn’t be a man who would beat me unconscious, or use his fists in any way, I knew he would hurt me some other way. He was beginning to fit the profile of an abuser.

My father’s posture slouched, appearing as though he’d given up the fight over his doubts. “Keep taking some time away from him. It’s a threat to everything to have feelings for that man. No emotions, Hanley. You can’t. Especially from what you've told me. Even if he wasn’t useful, he’s not the ‘someone’ you should be with.”

“With the day you’ve had, are you going to be okay?”

“Tired. Can’t wait for this whole thing to end.”

In the middle of washing my face, I got a text from Elias. I quickly clicked on the message splayed across the top of my screen and read it.

Elias:
I’m sorry I’ve been absent.
 

I was traveling for work.
 

I thought of you every moment of every day.
 

I missed you.

I sat on the sink, staring at the message and couldn’t tame my bright smile. I counted the minutes before I decided to respond:

Me:
I missed you too.
 

I wish you were here right now.

Elias:
Leave a light on in your bedroom.

Me:
It’s already on.

Elias:
I’m at your door.

From the bathroom, I heard a soft rhythmic tapping on the French doors of my bedroom. I gasped and jumped back at the same time. I looked in the mirror at my bare face, my hair piled high on top of my head while wearing only panties and a white T-shirt in preparation for bed.
 

I couldn’t make it to my walk-in closet to change without him seeing me. I turned off my phone, leaving it on the bathroom counter. Collecting my anxiety, barely, I walked across the room to close and lock my bedroom door prior to opening the French doors leading outside.

“You have to give me better notice than this,” I hissed, eyeing him looking the most casual I’d ever seen him. Had it not been for his fresh clean scent, I would’ve thought he came straight after a session at the gym. The clingy T-shirt and the revealing, yet loose, jogging pants made me think so. His hair wasn’t in its usual defined style. It fell slightly forward, down over his forehead, and glistened with dampness.

He eyed me from head to toe, taking his time at each body part to silently admire what he saw. “I feel like a teenager again, Ley. Sneaking into your room…” His eyes slowly lifted to my face. “Come here.” He pulled me close as he bit his lip “Wow,” he gasped.

“What?” I asked, self-consciously touching my hair.

“Naturally beautiful.”

I smiled big enough to create a popping sensation in my inner ear.

Lurching forward, he kissed me. His kiss was needy and amorous. It stole my equilibrium and my need for him manifested into a painful and burning ache between my legs. I reached up to run my fingers through his soft hair. He lifted me up, forcing my legs to wrap around his hips and halfway placed, halfway tossed, me onto the bed. He left me wanting more when he abruptly lifted away from me to stand at the edge of the bed with a skewed smile.
 

“You’re getting better.” He looked down at me with his chin tilted to his chest, specifically taking notice of the way my legs were spread. “I made you wet…again,” he observed huskily with a cocky smile. “I think I should do something about that.”

My heart began to thump within my chest. Logic and desire swirled around my thoughts, making me feel dubious. I quickly closed my legs. “We can’t. You came here to sleep…right?”
 

“Of course. That’s exactly what I came here to do after missing you so much I found it hard to think straight. Sleep.” The sarcasm in his voice was perceptible and coerced me to laugh coyly. He gave me a wink and grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it over his head.

I clenched my jaw, suddenly feeling frozen. My eyes darted everywhere but at him.
 

“Is this an issue?” The snap of a waistband and the rustle of more clothes indicated he’d removed his pants. I was now staring at the ceiling. “Am I supposed to sleep in my clothes?” Reaching forward, he moved my chin to face him.

My eyes drifted to his lean muscled body and down to his black boxer-briefs. Upon sight of a sizable and excited part of him, I quickly turned and got into bed, pulling the covers up to my shoulders. Finding a way to regulate my breathing pattern became an impossible task. Instead, my breaths came out as loud pants. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly I could picture every single dirty thing I wanted to do to his body in my mind. I shut my eyes as I tried to jam the rules into my head.
Don’t feel. Don’t have sex with him…yet.

The bed dipped and bowed as he slipped into bed next to me. The warmth of his naked chest pressed against my back. My bottom lip parted from my top to take in air since my nose wasn’t able to work properly.

“Ley,” he whispered into my ear. “I want to make you come all over my fingers.” He ripped down the covers and gripped my torso, pulling me until my back rested flat on the mattress. “I need to see that beautiful face as I make you come so hard, you’ll clamor for more than I’m going to give you.”

He’d completely knocked away my will. My head sank against the pillow and I stared at the ceiling as I tried to jam logic and reason back into my thoughts; they were both lost to me.

I convinced myself our relationship couldn’t have evolved into anything real. But he was so different for me. He was as bad for me as I was for him. I knew that very clearly. But here he was with me, looking back at me like I was the most important thing in his world, and making me believe he could be a very real problem for me.

He clasped my cheek and leaned in, kissing me sweetly. The sweet was released when his tongue urged its way inside my mouth. My body began to work on its own accord. I shifted underneath him with my hands behind his neck, pulling him closer to me. When his tongue found the center of my mouth, I bit it. His grip burned into me hard enough to make me whimper.
 

Slipping his hands up to my head, he forced me back, pushing me to break our kiss. Watching me, he glided his hand down from my neck to the curvature of my breasts and my torso, slipping underneath my panties and stopped at my labia. I hadn’t shaved in a week and it was no longer as smooth as it was when he first touched me.
 

He watched me, appearing to adore every little face I made in reaction to his touch. “Next time, I want this part of you bare.”

“Why?” I rasped.

“Because I want to feel the lips of your pussy at my fingertips. I want to feel your skin right here." I felt his fingers slide up and down my sex, spreading me open. "I want to know what my lips and tongue feel like here.” He slid his finger down, urging it inside me, making me burn hotter. “I want to fuck you with my tongue, lick you clean, and start all over again." He rocked his finger in and out. The palm of his hand rested against my clit, moving in circular motions.
 

His movements were slow and methodical, teasing me and making the pleasure build at a painfully slow pace. “Mmm," he moaned with a grin. He rocked his finger faster, slapping his palm lightly against my clit. “You’re so ready to come for me, you’re almost cutting off the circulation of my fingers.”

I writhed against the movement of his hand, the pleasure pulling me deeper under his spell.

He groaned, pushing against me, making sure I felt his straining erection. “I can’t wait to drive my cock into your tight pussy and make you cry for me.”
 

I bit my lip, trying to keep quiet. He moved his palm in hurried, soft circles around nub keeping one finger inside of me. My hips bucked against the movement of his hand, wanting a pleasurable release very badly.
 

My body became rigid, pending the verge of an explosive end. I arched my back and pointed my toes. A tingle shot through my nerves. He covered my mouth with his palm and moved his other hand faster and increased the pressure.
 

I shut my eyes tightly as the fireworks hit my body hard. I cried out. Muffled sounds reverberated against his hand as he continued to release my body from its long pent-up suffering. My skin tingled until my core was covered in moisture and too sensitive to endure his touch. I closed my legs tightly to keep him from moving his hand.

Looking pleased with himself, he sank his teeth into the corner of his smirk. He leaned forward and hungrily kissed me, sucking my bottom lip harshly. When he found my tongue he sucked it as well, making a cooling rush further obliterate my senses. I faced him as he leaned back to lay on my bed. Snuggling up to his body, I rested my head on his chest with a huge, contented grin on my face.

NINE

“WHY HAVEN’T YOU ANSWERED my calls, bitch?” Skylar crossed her arms on the table while we sat across from each other at the diner located across from the mall. We both decided it was the best choice for our dinner on a Wednesday night.

We had worked alternating shifts over the past week and a half and hadn’t had a chance to catch up with one another. Every moment of my free time was spent with Elias. It felt like we were an actual couple, frequenting events, and having romantic dinners at restaurants I thought were way overpriced. Occasionally, he allowed me to pick the location of our date. Each time the choice was left to me, he seemed pleasantly surprised when I selected dinner and a movie at his place.
 

The level of intimacy was still at heavy petting. If I pushed things too far, he’d recede. It ensured that if he hadn’t tended to me sexually with his fingers, I made sure to complete the job before I went to sleep at night. The things he did to me were very familiar. I knew the tricks very well. I couldn’t find the will to worry about his methods of carefully exerting control over me—preparing me for something unknown. I didn’t care; I liked the way he manipulated me.

I glanced from the window next to where we were seated then back to Skylar. “I sent you a text, didn’t you get it?” I asked, not exactly remembering if I had sent her a text.

“Liar. You never sent me a text.”

“I’ve been—”

“Busy with Elias?” she stated more than asked, leaning forward, partially resting her breasts on the table. She began to stir her straw around her half-empty glass and poked at the whipped cream left at the bottom. “I thought we were friends. Why did you invite Claudia to Elias’s race a couple of weeks ago instead of me? She wouldn’t stop telling me about it, trying to make me jealous.”