Authors: penelope fletcher
My voice was squeaky and strangled by the end of my rant.
Why do you bother protecting them,
Lochlann genuinely seemed concerned for my sanity. His face was contorted with confusion, and his eyes tried to stare through me to the heart of my beliefs.
I don t understand how you can stand for them after they ve taken Maeve &.
His voice broke, and he clenched his fists.
It s a shame your loyalty doesn t lie with your Tribe. Ask yourself, why did such a small number attack? You know as well as I do only a certain mind is susceptible to such influence. They hate us, they will never learn, and they will never stop. I refuse to lose another fairy life to their callous hands waiting for them to grow up.
Some resisted,
I pointed out urgently.
After everything that s happened between us and them the majority of the Clerics didn t attack. There s hope, and it s our responsibility as guardians of the balance to nurture them. I m sorry about Maeve. You have no idea how badly I wish things had gone differently.
I shrugged my shoulders helplessly, no words to express my pain.
People die, it s a part of life.
Lochlann spun to me, nose a hairsbreadth away from mine.
You would not be so quick to forgive them if it were Conall instead of Maeve.
Breandan shoved Lochlann back, and I caught his arm before he could do it again, and a rather pointless shoving match begun between the two of them.
Don t fight. What he says is true, if it were me, I d want retribution.
I glanced towards where Lex had just walked into the coppice with Ro, remembering the pain and anger the echo of my need to punish those who had taken her from me was almost too painful to bear recall.
And just like I stand here trying to make you see reason is the same you did to me, remember? You reminded me of my duty, and that I should forget all thoughts of revenge on Devlin. I didn t listen. I was too wrapped up in my own selfish emotions. But you don t have the excuse of being the spoilt child I was. Lochlann, you are a great lord, capable of reason and compassion. I ve always known that even if your arrogance drives me to distraction.
I motioned to the group of humans.
They were used, sent here to die as a diversion. You know that. Let it go.
He made a sound of frustration and backed off, moving to the other side of the Meet.
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I didn t have to fake the smile that spread over my face when Lex and Ana both started toward me.
Then stopped.
They eyed each other warily, like stray cats prowling on unclaimed territory.
Ana haughtily lifted her chin, looking down her nose at the zombie.
Lex rolled her eyes. Shoving Ana aside she rushed over and trapped me in a hug.
Skin immaculate, white as chalk, and unmarred by a single imperfection Lex looked as if all colour had been leached from her skin. Sad eyes over-arched by sleek eyebrows peered at me. The colorless waves of hair around her shoulders were so pale the strands were translucent. Her locks were the most vibrant feature she had since I d brought her back from the dead and turned her into a zombie, a pale imitation of what she once was.
She had the ability to become so still, unmoving, that I couldn t sense her aura at all.
She had been given a tunic and trousers in the fairy style to wear. Dew glinted on her face and neck and festooned her hair like we d sprinkled tiny stars into its wildness, Her body emitted no warmth, and she didn t ingest hot blood like vampires, so the moisture in the air didn t absorb into her skin like other beings, but rested on her.
I m so glad you re okay,
she said softly.
I knew something was wrong, but Ro insisted we come back here as you planned.
She stroked the side of my face.
When did life get so crazy?
I shrugged.
Who knew being a Disciple was the easy path in life. I d give anything for my biggest worry to be my lack of faith in Sect Doctrine.
Enough of the pity,
a voice trilled in disgust.
Ana, a blonde, blue-eyed cherub marched up to me and smiled tremulously. Her hair was plaited into a messy braid, and she wore the same plain blue tunic. Her clothes looked decidedly ratty, and her dirt smeared face made me want to dunk her in a bath.
They didn t offer you clothes?
I asked, offended on her behalf.
I don t do charity,
she replied primly and sent a less than affectionate glare at Lochlann.
Nor do I suffer arrogant big-headed fairies who don t know when to shut up and listen.
I had a feeling Lochlann and the white witch weren t exactly the best of friends. That didn t surprise me. Lochlann wasn t the easiest being to relate to, and he had a fondness for rubbing people up the wrong way with his piousness, and assumptions that everyone should heed his word without question.
Do you know I wasn t allowed to go with the goblin-child to fetch the leader of his Horde? They sent him with a fairy Knight. That was foolish. Goblins naturally fear witches, and I would have had that Horde licking my heels to please me. Amelia is unhappy we ve been separated from Runt, but she stayed with me. She shouldn t have been forced to make that choice.
Said were-cat had padded over and was purring and rubbing her head on Ana s leg. She looked at Breandan with condolences.
Your brother is an ass.
Hissing, Lochlann curled his top lip.
I know about Cael,
I said to her quietly.
And about you.
She peeked up at me and grinned.
I know.
She tapped her head.
I see the future, remember.
So you know what happens now?
You go seeking trouble?
Breandan asked dryly.
Ana giggled, but it tapered off into a dry rasp.
Something like that.
Endearing as this is to watch,
Kalcifer interrupted,
we have things to discuss.
Agreed,
Byron said.
I for one wish to take back my vote for Rae to stand aside.
Me too,
Gita said.
They have proven they are capable.
The murmur of agreement quickly carried throughout the gathered demons, and whilst Ana and Lex looked proud, I was annoyed.
What are you all doing?
I asked, looking at them in turn.
The demons looked at each other uneasily.
Gita looked ruffled, and her chest puffed until she looked all of four feet tall. She had a deep gash across her face, and her legs were riddled with slashes she hadn t just let her Raptors fight for her yesterday.
She blinked owlishly and said,
Well, we thought that since you stayed, and helped us fight that you wouldn t be leaving.
She gathered her pluck and scowled at me.
You seemed reluctant enough yesterday.
Stay,
Baako grunted. His opinion hadn t changed, but there was now a glint in his eye that hadn t been there before. The fight had invigorated him, and I sensed he had decided where I was trouble would be.
Kalcifer growled.
This was already decided.
I agree. I came to talk to Lochlann and say goodbye to my friends. Now that s done I m leaving.
I clasped Breandan s hand.
We re leaving.
Rae &.
Lex trailed off, seeing my expression. Backing up, she dipped her head.
I heard what happened yesterday. They were wrong, but holding it against them is wrong too. Please don t abandon us now. We need you here.
Abandon?
I spluttered.
Lex, hearing about it, and seeing what happened here are so far removed it s unreal. They kicked me out.
The embarrassment and anger broke down my self-imposed calm and resentment flooded me.
You sent me away,
I shrieked.
After everything that s happened, I finally step up, and you throw it back in my face. You want me to stay because Cael is terrifying in his strength, and he can touch you here, where you thought you were safe. You want me to stay to be your shield, but yesterday when you were all frightened of me, you were more than happy to send me away. Well, I m telling you, each of you could get on bended knee and kiss my ass, and I still would walk.
Rae-love,
Breandan murmured.
Come away.
I stepped away from him, refusing his quiet request; unable to hold it in. I was mad as hell.
You were ready to let us wander out there alone. We fought for you. We ve nearly died for you, and all we asked was for understanding. We just wanted a chance to be accepted, but you all just gave into fear, and you just &.
I struggled for words.
You abandoned us. And I thought that being alone would be scary, but it s made us stronger.
I hardened my face and tilted my chin back.
I was willing to defend each of you from Cael, but not anymore. You all made your choice.
Finally, I clasped Breandan s hand and let him tug me away, but not before over my shoulder I speared Lochlann with a look.
Hold your head high and die with it.
Breandan wrenched me away and dragged me backwards. My chest was heaving and my body trembling. I d been on a roll, and my blood ran hot. I planted my feet and stopped moving.
Apologise,
Ana shouted to no one in particular.
One of you say something.
She jabbed a finger at me.
She is the only weapon you have against Cael. Do you have any idea what he will do when he fixes his attention here?
Lochlann looked equally alarmed and intrigued by the turn of events, but he made no move to stop us leaving. Instead, he stopped in front of Breandan and cocked his head.
Where will you go,
he asked.
What will you do? I cannot believe you will simply vanish.
We ll do what we need to,
he replied and clasped his brother s shoulder.
I want you to hear me when I say some things are worth defying the very laws of the universe. Don t push away who I suspect is the woman you could love.
Some things are bigger than myself alone. I cannot, and will not place my needs above those of my people.
Breandan shook his head sorrowfully.
If you lose her you will never find peace. Trust me.
He clasped my hand.
Some things in this world seem set against everything we believe in, but are so right the true madness would be to ignore them.
Breandan touched my cheek and I jolted, startled out of my shock. I had prepared myself for this moment, but it was difficult to process nonetheless.
When I looked back, Lochlann stared, his gaze fixed on our joined hands.
Ana made a rude gesture to all present and marched after us with her head held high. Breandan, hearing her stomping, turned and shook his head once in finality.
Ana, you must stay here.
Her jaw dropped.
But I can help.
You re safer here than anywhere else, and I need you to watch over Rae s friends.
The inflection of Breandan s tone had a deeper meaning, and I squeezed his hand when he didn t elaborate. He lowered his voice,
Another protector of the grimoire is needed as well.
Ana had no trouble understanding whatever secret message he had for her since she sighed like a martyr.
Fine. I stay.
She looked at me.
Take care, Rae.
Before I could answer, Breandan led me away. We hadn t gotten far, barely past the outermost copse before he stopped and turned to regard me shrewdly.
Your parting words were harsh. Needlessly so.
I crossed my hands over my chest and looked down at my boots grumpily.
They deserved it.
He tipped my chin back and I hated how disappointed his expression was.
Do not be unkind, it does not become you.
Huffing, I pulled myself from his grasp and sat down, leaning back against a tree. I wanted to sulk. I wanted to stamp my feet and shriek, but that would be too juvenile even for me.
So, you know where we re going right?
I asked him.
He snorted.
Oh yes. I knew the moment you figured out Cael was your brother that you would go and try to reason with him. I know there is little point in asking, but is there anything that would change your mind?
No. I want him to tell me to my face what all of this is about though I have more than an inkling it has to do with our mother.
I bashed my head against the tree.
I wonder if she knew how badly we d suffer when she was gone.
Remembering something Lochlann had said to me once, I turned worried eyes to Breandan.
I m not like her, am I?
I never knew her, but possibly, at times,
he replied smartly, no doubt still frustrated he could not get me to consider avoiding the trip to Blackthorn Coven.
After everything that had happened, I wasn t in the mood to fight him. That didn t mean I was going to roll over and play nice either.
Bite me,
I hissed.
A raspy chuckle drifted to me on the wind and preceded soft footfalls close by.
Great. Perfect. As if the day couldn t get any more wonderful.
Sinking deeper into the mire of my bad natured sarcasm, my toes curled, and I gritted my teeth as Wasp sashayed out of the shadows and propped her shoulder against the tree I reclined on.