Denim and Lace (15 page)

“Be my guest,” she replied. “I don't care anymore. My life is falling apart around my ears.”

“None of that,” he said firmly. “You can't give up and quit now that you're finally getting independent.”

“What do you care?” she challenged, her brown eyes flashing at him. “You wouldn't want me if I came with french fries and tartar sauce!”

His dark eyes twinkled. “I've never seen you fight back before,” he remarked. “I like you this way,” he added, his voice deep and frankly sensual.

Her cheeks went hot, but she didn't drop her eyes. “Well, I don't like you any way at all. Why don't you go home and brand a calf or something?”

“I can't leave my mother alone with Gussie,” he replied. “She'd have Mother signing notes for mink coats and luxury cars. Mother feels sorry for her.”

“You sure don't,” Bess guessed.

“You can tie a bow on that,” he agreed.

“Has anyone called to ask about me?” she wanted to know.

His face closed up. “Ryker did, if that's what you want to find out,” he said coldly, recalling that Gussie had spoken to him.

“How very nice of him,” she said with a smile. “A man should care about his kept woman.”

“Oh, hell, stop that,” he muttered. Cade moved away from the bed. He looked as if he wanted to bite something. “Someone named Julie called, too.”

“She's my boss,” she told him. “She's the office manager.”

He glanced at her. “She?”

“Women can read and write and do math,” she told him. “They can even manage offices if they're given a chance.”

His eyebrows levered up. “Did I say they couldn't? My God, I know what women can do. My mother is one of the finest financial managers I've ever seen in action. She could run a damned corporation herself, except that she's softhearted enough to give it away to the first unfortunate who asked for it.”

He sat back down in the chair beside the bed, his eyes going over her poor bruised face, her thin body in the cotton hospital gown. She looked much the worse for wear, but thank God she was alive.

“What do you do at that advertising agency?” he asked.

“I started out doing mechanicals.” She smiled faintly at his curious stare. “That's the layout for printing ads and brochures and such. But now they're letting me come up with ideas of my own and do some copywriting, as well. One of my ads is going to be used in a national campaign for a shampoo company.”

“Good for you.” He crossed one leg over the other. “Do you like the work?”

“Very much. And the people I work with are wonderful.”

“Like Ryker?” he asked with a mocking smile.

“Mr. Ryker doesn't work in our office. He's downtown in a big building somewhere. He just owns the business. Julie runs it.”

“But you do see him?” he persisted.

“Why does it matter?” she replied with equal stubbornness. “You went to great pains to warn me off, so why do you care what men I date?”

Cade got to his feet and paced some more. He felt restless and irritable and confined. “I guess I have been fighting it,” he admitted, glancing out the window. “For a long time. Maybe for all the wrong reasons. But you were young and soft. Too soft,” he said coldly. “You wouldn't have lasted a week on Lariat the way you were.” He turned, his black eyes pinning her. “You're more mature, I'll hand you that, but you're still too full of illusions about me. I'm no storybook hero. I'm hard and disciplined, and I've got a temper that could take a layer of skin off you. You're no match for me, cream puff. I need a tigress, not a sparrow.”

“Was the brunette a tigress?” she said with soft malice. “Wasn't she a match for you?”

His head tilted toward her and his dark eyes kindled. That sounded very much like jealousy, so why not keep his secret and let her chew on the brunette for a while? “I don't talk about my women. Not even to my brothers, much less to you.”

She averted her eyes, feeling embarrassment stick in her throat. “And I don't talk about my men, so you can stop asking me leading questions about Jordan Ryker.”

He glared at her profile. “Done. Not that I give a damn about any of your men,” he added with deliberate nonchalance. “All that concerns me is helping you get back on your feet.”

“Thank you so much,” she said. “I'll do my best to set new records for healing!”

He moved toward the door, trying not to smile. In the past her lack of spirit had annoyed him. Now she was developing it rapidly, and he liked the way she dueled with him. He liked the jealousy in her voice and the sparks of dark fire in her eyes. The old Bess would never have made it in his world, but this new one could. Although he did hope she wasn't going to take it to extremes, the verbal jousting aroused him.

“Leaving so soon?” she called gaily. “Do give my regards to your brothers,” she added with a smile.

He turned at the door, his eyes narrow as a new complication presented itself. “Gary is engaged to Jennifer Barnes,” he told her. “I'd appreciate it if you don't give him any encouragement.”

That seemed to needle him. Good! “I wouldn't dream of trying to cut Jennifer out. On the other hand,” she added, “Robert is still very much a single man. I trust you won't object if I speak to him?”

He didn't say another word. With anger smoldering in his eyes he opened the door and left the room. That was a curve he hadn't expected, and it haunted him for the rest of the day. Not only was Robert unattached, he was a born flirt, and he already liked Bess. What a hell of a situation this could develop into, especially when Bess had every reason in the world for wanting to give him hell. What better way than to get involved with his brother?

He didn't come back for the rest of the day, leaving Gussie and Elise to talk to Bess and encourage her.

The doctor came to do his rounds after supper, and the two women left the room while he had a long, frank talk with Bess about her injuries. What he told her was so staggering that she didn't believe him at first. But when the knowledge began to penetrate, she burst into tears.

“I'm sorry,” he said, patting her shoulder gently. “But the truth is always best. And it isn't impossible, you know. There are other ways...”

“I knew I had stitches, but I never dreamed that much damage had been done,” she said, weeping.

“I didn't want to tell you sooner, not until you were strong enough to face it,” he replied. He was tall and elderly, and his voice was quiet with concern. “Believe me, we did our best. It just wasn't good enough.” He paused. “I notice you've had a very persistent male visitor, and if he's involved with you, I thought you should be told, in case you and he have made any plans.”

Her eyes closed. “No, there's no need,” she whispered huskily. “Because there's no hope of any lasting relationship. He's a friend of the family, that's all. There's nothing between us.”

“Miss Samson, don't let this prevent you from marrying,” he pleaded softly. “It isn't the end of the world.”

“Oh, yes it is,” she whispered.

“Adoption is a very attractive alternative,” he added. “You might consider it if you marry.”

It might be attractive to some men, but it wouldn't be to Cade: she knew that already. He had such pride in his family's heritage. For years he'd talked about the heirs he was going to have someday, his sons who'd inherit Lariat after him. Now those children would be born to some other woman. As long as she'd been whole, she couldn't stop hoping. But now she felt that she was only half a woman. What good was hoping after what he'd said in her apartment anyway? He'd admitted that he'd never marry a woman like her, that all he could have offered her was a brief affair. So it was just as well that he didn't care, because this was one obstacle she couldn't overcome, even if she could have changed Cade's mind about her uselessness on a ranch and her inability to adjust to the hard life there. This was a stone wall, separating her from Cade forever.

Her eyes filled with tears as they searched the doctor's. “You're telling me that it's completely impossible, that there isn't a chance that I could ever have a child of my own?”

“Let me explain. You have one ovary left, but it was slightly damaged, too. It is possible that you could conceive, it just isn't too likely. Not unless you married a man who was incredibly potent and all the factors were just exactly right. No, it isn't completely impossible, and I've seen too many miracles in my work to discount God's hand in things. But being realistic is best in the long run.”

“I see.” She had a little hope then, but not much. She managed a smile for him. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“It's the best thing, you know. I'll check on you again. Try to get some sleep.”

“I'll do that.” She watched him go. When she was alone, the room seemed to close in around her. She was scared to death, and there was no one she could tell. Least of all Cade.

CHAPTER TEN

G
USSIE
CAME
IN
early the next morning to see her daughter, and this time she was alone. It was the first opportunity Bess had really had to talk to her without anyone else present.

“You look a little brighter this morning,” Gussie said, sitting down heavily in the chair beside the bed. “How do you feel, darling?”

“Worn,” Bess said stiffly. Remembering what Cade had said about Gussie made her sick all over. It wasn't really all that hard to imagine Gussie chasing after a married man, despite the way she'd defended her to Cade. Gussie was a butterfly and she loved male adulation. And while Bess had always believed her mother loved her father, perhaps it was another part of her act. Gussie had been poor and she said herself that she'd tricked Frank Samson into marrying her by getting pregnant. Besides that, she'd ruined things between Bess and Cade and had indirectly caused the wreck. Bess was going to find it difficult to forgive her mother this time.

“You gave me quite a scare,” Gussie said, a little hesitant because Bess didn't seem very glad to see her. In fact she seemed quite remote.

“I'll be all right,” the younger woman said brusquely.

Gussie leaned back in her chair. “Why were you driving that late at night, and why in such a hurry? It was Cade, wasn't it?” she added coldly. “He came to see you, he said so. He caused you to have the wreck.”

“We argued, but it wasn't anybody's fault,” Bess said simply. “And don't start again about Cade,” she added when her mother looked ready to argue. “He's been kind enough to let you stay at Lariat, and he's invited us both there while I recuperate. Isn't there some old saying about not biting the hand that feeds you?” she concluded with a flash of cold brown eyes.

Gussie's eyebrows went up. “Perhaps you're having a reaction to the medicine, Bess dear.”

“Perhaps I'm having a reaction to you, Mother dear,” came the terse reply. “Why did you impose on the Hollisters, of all people?”

Gussie grimaced. “Well, I couldn't find anywhere else to go,” she muttered. “Jamaica went stale.”

“They threw you out,” Bess translated coolly.

Her mother ruffled. “They did not. I left of my own free will. Sort of.” She shifted restlessly. “I told you, Bess, I can't make my own living. I don't know how to do anything.”

“That's no excuse not to learn,” she told her mother. “Living off other people is parasitic. There is no honor in it.”

Gussie stared at Bess intently. “My darling, haven't you learned yet that money and honor don't mix? I won't be poor. I won't!”

“That's your affair,” Bess told her. It was easier than she'd ever dreamed to stand up for herself. Now that she had the hang of it, she was almost enjoying it. “But I won't support you. And neither will Cade. You're the reason he came to see me, in fact,” she said coolly. “He wanted me to get you away from Lariat because his mother would be hurt if he ordered you off the place.”

The older woman's face went curiously pale. “Yes, I suspected as much. He wasn't happy to have me around, and I'm ashamed to admit that I embroidered your relationship with Jordan Ryker. I only wanted to protect you...”

“You don't have the right to interfere in my life, not even for noble motives,” Bess said firmly. “And you know it.”

Gussie lowered her eyes. “It's hard to let go,” she said quietly. “Cade would never have let me see you again if you'd married him.”

“Hasn't it dawned on you that Cade doesn't want to marry me?” she asked icily. “He never has. He's spent years chasing me away. Well, I finally got the message! You only brought the inevitable a little closer, so no harm done.” Bess ignored her mother's stare and lifted herself back against the pillows, grimacing as the stitches caught.

Gussie wanted to tell her how Cade had looked outside in the waiting room while they lived through those first horrible few minutes. But Bess didn't look receptive, and now she seemed resigned to giving up Cade forever. That should have made Gussie happy, but it didn't. She put herself in Bess's place and it hurt. Imagine loving a man beyond reason and having someone fight it tooth and nail, make the relationship impossible. It was the first time in years that she'd looked at anyone's viewpoint except her own. It made her feel a sense of shame. She'd grieved for the husband she loved, a husband she hadn't even known how much she loved until it was too late to tell him. She'd put herself first and Bess last, and now she didn't know how to get back on a motherly footing with her own daughter. Bess seemed to dislike her intensely, and how could she blame her? She'd been nothing but a burden to Bess.

“Cade isn't so bad,” Gussie said slowly. “You could do worse.”

“I could do better, too,” Bess said, glaring at her mother. “Surely you'd rather I went after Mr. Ryker with no holds barred. After all, he's got money. He's rich.”

Gussie felt sick at that mercenary statement. It reminded her of the way she'd sounded when she'd thrown Bess at him. But Jordan Ryker didn't strike her as a man who'd die for love of any woman. Oddly enough, she could picture Cade throwing himself under a bus to save someone he cared about, or even giving up a woman he loved to keep from hurting her. He'd done that for Bess, sacrificing his own need to protect her from being broken in spirit.

“There are things more important than money,” Gussie said suddenly, because she'd only just realized it.

Bess lifted an eyebrow. “Really? You never used to think so.”

The door opened abruptly, and Elise came in carrying two plastic cups of black coffee. “Here I am. I had to wait in line,” she said, smiling at Bess. “Good morning. Are you feeling any better?” she asked, frowning as Bess confined her temper and Gussie took a calming breath. She handed a cup of coffee to Gussie, who looked pale and uneasy.

“Bess, what's wrong?” she asked, sitting down in the second chair.

“She's just tired,” Gussie said quietly. “That's all. She's had a hard few days.”

“Yes. That's it,” Bess agreed quietly. She drew in a breath and lay back on the pillows, exhausted and hurting. Gussie was singing a new song, but Bess didn't trust her. She'd been taken in once too often by her manipulative mother. And she wasn't about to be owned again, even if Gussie did sound as if she no longer minded about Cade. That was ironic, too, because Bess didn't dare let Cade near her again. She felt only half a woman now, and he needed a whole one to produce that family he wanted so badly.

“We've all been so concerned for you. Especially Cade,” Elise said with a sigh. “He feels responsible.”

“I was responsible,” Bess corrected, and her eyes dared her mother to say a word.

“Anyway, we'll have you at Lariat by Friday afternoon, and I'm going to enjoy taking care of you. It's been ages since anyone's been confined to bed, and I have some marvelous recipes for trays,” she added with a grin.

Bess had to smile at her enthusiasm. “It's very kind of Cade to let us come,” she said. “I didn't want to put any more strain on him than he's already got.”

“Cade doesn't mind responsibility,” Elise said, smiling dreamily. “I was telling him just yesterday that he needs to marry and have a family of his own. He loves children, you know.”

Bess did know, all too well. She said something polite and then quickly changed the subject. She couldn't bear to talk about children now. Especially Cade's children. Even if she could get close to him, he'd never want her the way she was now.

* * *

F
RIDAY
MORNING
B
ESS
was up and dressed in a gray pantsuit Elise and Gussie had brought from her apartment. She was a little thinner than before, and she looked pale and drawn. She wasn't looking forward to the long drive to the ranch, but being in Cade's company, whatever the reason, was pure delight.

Cade came along to pick her up, and she didn't find out why until he'd signed her out and put her into his late-model Ford truck to drive her home.

“It's hard enough to squeeze three people into this cab,” he murmured as he cranked the engine. “Four is pushing it. Mother and Gussie were able to get a ride with a friend of mine who had a business meeting up here.” He glanced at her. “Put your seat belt on. I know it's going to be uncomfortable, but if I rolled this thing, you'd be in worse shape without it.”

She hooked it slowly, still weak from days in bed. “Are you planning to roll it?” she asked with graveyard humor.

“If I do, you'll be the first to know. Better crack a window. I'm having a nicotine fit.”

He lit up and smoked while he drove. Out of the corner of her eye Bess watched him, adoring his strong profile and the way he sat, straight and tall. He had excellent posture, she mused, and the way his jeans and blue-checked Western shirt clung to those hard muscles made her head spin. It was such an unexpected treat to get to be alone with him. She had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him.

“You're pretty quiet. Feeling okay?” he asked a few miles down the long road toward Coleman Springs. The mesquite trees were green now, their feathery fronds swaying lazily in the soft spring breeze. There were wildflowers everywhere—Indian paintbrush, Mexican hat, Indian blanket, black-eyed Susan, and the state flower, the bluebonnet.

“On a day this beautiful, I'd have to feel okay,” she murmured, her eyes following the land to the horizon.

“Your boss is a nice woman,” he remarked. “She runs the office, you said?”

“Yes. And there's Nell. She's a live wire. We go out to lunch together sometimes.” She moved and grimaced. “I'm glad they decided to let me go ahead with my latest project while I recuperate,” she added. “I don't think I could stand being idle, now that I've found work I enjoy.”

He glanced at her curiously. “That may not last when the newness wears off,” he replied.

She smiled at him. “Well, it won't bother you one way or the other, I know.”

“Do you, Bess?” he asked, and his eyes held hers so intently that she flushed before he looked back at the road.

That look disturbed her greatly. Knowing what she did about her barrenness, she didn't dare let him get close. It would be easier to keep him at a distance than to have to tell him the truth. She was going to have to walk a fine line while she was at Lariat. She only hoped she could.

He seemed to sense that uneasiness in her. A few miles from Lariat he pulled the truck onto a dirt road and parked it under a mesquite tree.

“What are we doing here?” she asked.

“I want to talk to you,” he said simply. “There hasn't really been an opportunity since you've been in the hospital. At least here we won't be disturbed by nurses or relatives.”

“What is there to talk about?” she parried, averting her eyes to the window. “I told you, I don't blame you for what happened.”

He crushed out his cigarette in the ashtray with a heavy sigh. “It's eating me alive, Bess,” he said finally. “I've got to know the truth about you and Ryker. I can't let it rest.”

Her heartbeat quickened. He sounded odd. Not at all like Cade. She turned in the seat, her eyes wary.

“Mr. Ryker gave me a job,” she said, so sick of the whole subject that she was driven to tell him the truth.

“And?”

She lowered her eyes to his booted feet. “And nothing.”

“You haven't been out with him?” he persisted, although his expression was already lightening.

“If you can call one long dinner chaperoned by both our mothers going out with someone, I guess I did. Listen, Mr. Ryker isn't the kind of man who keeps a mistress. He's very much like you, in fact. He isn't interested in me. And nobody is keeping me. I make a good salary. That's why I can afford the new apartment. I told you, one of my ads is being used in a national campaign. I got a bonus. And the fox jacket was one Mama had bought that I was taking back. I threw her out of the apartment because she insisted on spending money I didn't have.”

“Yes, I know. Gussie told me.” He smiled slowly. “Glory be!” he murmured. “How you've changed, Miss Samson.”

“You don't have to laugh at me,” she said, glaring at him.

He couldn't help it. It was such a relief to know that all his inner torment had been for naught. He felt reborn.

“Imagine you throwing Gussie out,” he mused. “What did she say?”

“Not a lot. And I guess she got back at me while she was with you and Elise and the boys, because she sure fed you a line of bull.”

“And I fell for it,” he agreed, the smile leaving his dark face. “My mother didn't. I suppose she knows you better than I do.”

“It's just as well,” Bess said, averting her eyes. “I appreciate your letting me stay at Lariat while I get better, but you don't need to worry that I might get ideas about why you're doing it. I'm not going to start chasing you again—Cade!”

His lean hand was against her cheek and he was suddenly so close that she could feel the warmth of his body, smell the cologne he wore as he stared into her eyes from point-blank range. She pushed at his chest nervously.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked huskily, his lips almost touching hers as he spoke.

“You,” she whispered, her eyes filled with hopeless longing as she looked into his dark ones.

“I won't let you run this time,” he whispered against her mouth. His eyes closed. His hands held her face steady while his mouth slowly parted her lips, gently expert, lifting her up into the sky.

She moaned. The impact of his kiss was shattering. This was nothing like the last time, when he'd been angry. This was a kind of tenderness she'd never associated with Cade, although she'd suspected sometimes that he was capable of it. She had no defense at all. She wanted him so, and the feel of his mouth and his hands was just heaven.