Derailed (4 page)

“Nowhere else to be.” I concentrated on finishing the last crumbs of my second Danish.

“Now it’s been a few years, but do you think you remember how to work everything?”

“Unless you have a bunch of new high-tech machines, I should be fine.” Gail was notorious in town for eschewing technology. Someone once suggested she set up Wi-Fi for her customers, and she about threw him out. I happened to think that it was a good thing. It meant she still made everything by hand.

Gail smiled. “Hey, don’t knock an old system that still works. Go wash up, and help me make some sandwiches before the lunch crowd.”

I mock saluted. “All right, boss. I’m on it.”

I’d forgotten how therapeutic making chicken salad sandwiches could be, but for the first time in a long time, the tension in my shoulders lessened, and I relaxed without having a drink first. I could have scooped mayonnaise forever, but I eventually finished.

Around eleven thirty, the telltale jingle of the door announced the beginning of the lunch time rush. Even with a diner and several fast food restaurants in town, the café still had a crowd of mid-day regulars.

When Gail called me to the front, I mentally prepared myself for the barrage of questions to come. On the bright side, after one shift, the word would pretty much spread across town.

“Hi there, Molly, what are you doing back?” Mr. Martin, a former math teacher of mine asked as I rang up his sandwich and coffee.

“I’m just hanging out for a while, not sure what the next stop is.”

“So what happened with medical school?” Mr. Atkins, the owner of the local nursery asked. He had always been happy to let me come in to take pictures of the flowers and plants.

“Arnie, it’s Shayna who went to med school. This is Molly. She’s in law school,” his wife cut in.

“Oh sorry, hon.”

“Not a problem. I actually decided law wasn’t for me.”

“Well, if you change your mind, I’m sure you could work with the Morgans.” He referred to one of the small firms in town.

“I don’t think I’m going to change my mind.”

“Enough about law school. How’d you convince your fiancé to move down here? Isn’t he a Boston boy?” Mrs. Atkins asked, taking a sip from the coffee I handed her.

“He’s not here.”

“Oh.” She paused, finally putting it together. “Oh! I’m sorry to hear that, but you are still so young, sweetheart. I’m sure you’ll meet someone new in no time.”

“Absolutely.” I forced a smile before excusing myself.

Gail found me making confetti out of paper napkins twenty minutes later.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bailed on you like that,” I apologized.

“It’s fine, but do me a favor and help the customer who just walked in; I need a break.”

“Sure, of course,” I replied, eager to redeem myself.

There was a strange twinkle in Gail’s eye that had me worried for a second, but I ignored it.

I walked out, and my breath hitched. Gail was going to get it.

With his brown hair buzzed short as usual, and the constant tan with a hint of sunburn he always sported from working on his dad’s boats, my high school sweetheart stood at the counter.

“Molly?” His brown eyes widened. A barely visible smile played on the corner of his lips.

“Hi, Ben.” I smiled, giving a small wave. Inside, my stomach did somersaults. I wasn’t ready for this.

“Wow, what are you doing here? You work at Marney’s again?” He placed a hand on the counter. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Boston?”

“Plans changed.”

“How so?” Ben was never one for mincing words.

“I quit law school.”

“Oh. How’d your fiancé take it?” He said the word ‘fiancé’ like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“We’re not getting married.”

“Oh… I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly spread the word. Did your dad really not tell you I was back?”

“My Dad?”

“I ran into him this morning. I figured he would have mentioned it, or am I wrong and you don’t work with him anymore?” Ben’s plans, aside from his music, had always been to work in his father’s marina sales and rental company and to take over one day. It was hard to pull him away from the water.

“He didn’t mention it.” His face scrunched up the way it always did when he was thinking. “But wow, I definitely didn’t expect to see you.”

“I’ve been getting that a lot.”

“So since you’re working here, does that mean you plan to stay around?” I couldn’t tell what answer he wanted.

I leaned up against the back counter. “Maybe… I really don’t know. This was kind of a last minute decision.”

“How last minute?”

“Meaning I walked out of class, packed up what I wanted from my apartment, and left the city.”

“That’s… cool.” Ben put his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah.”

We stood in awkward silence for a while, just looking at each other. “So, can I get you something?”

“Oh sure, the special.”

“Okay, coming right up.” I grabbed one of the chicken salad sandwiches I had spent so much time making and wrapped it up. “So what have you been up to?” I called over my shoulder.

“You know, work mostly—I’ve started a side business taking out fishing tours. It keeps me pretty busy. I’m still playing with the guys, though.”

“Yeah, I heard that.” I fidgeted nervously while holding his sandwich in one hand. Making small talk with Ben wasn’t easy. There was way too much we needed to say to each other, but couldn’t.

“We’re playing tonight at Gill’s. You should come.”

“Oh, I don’t know, but thanks.”

“Come on, you should. I promise we’re better than in high school.” He smiled, and I knew I was lost. It was impossible to say no to that smile.

“All right.”

“Yeah? Okay, cool. Maybe we can catch up after? It’s been a long time.”

“Okay.” I filled a cup with Coke. I assumed he hadn’t changed his drink of choice.

He looked torn for a moment. “Oh, and Mol?”

“Yeah?” I placed his drink on the counter.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you up in Boston.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“See you later.”

“Bye.”

As soon as the door chime sounded announcing Ben’s exit, Gail came out to join me. “Now that’s the old Molly. All it took was five minutes with Ben Mathews. I think we found your solution.”

“Ben and I had our chance years ago. It’s never going to happen.”

“Who says? The way the two of you look at each other, there is nothing past tense about you.”

“Come on, don’t you need me to do some clean up or something?”

“All right, if you’re asking to clean instead of talk boys, this must be serious.”

I laughed. It was good to be back at Marney’s.

Chapter Five

“Look at you, made up all cute.” Kelly laughed as she pulled out of my driveway.

“Shut up, I’m not.”

“Is that actually makeup on your face? Wow, little Molly has grown up,” Kelly mocked, taking a slow ride over to the bar.

“I had the time.” That was partially the truth. I also wanted to add some color to my washed out face. Lack of sleep was really taking a toll on me.

“So this has nothing to do with Ben then?” She was enjoying this way too much.

“Not at all. Don’t even start.”

“What? He did invite you to the show.”

“To be nice.” I crossed my arms.

“Nice is saying hello. This wasn’t to be nice. The poor boy still hasn’t gotten over you.” 

“Yes he has. You didn’t spare me a second of his escapades with the girls around here.”

“Okay, he’s dated a few girls, but they never went anywhere, and I haven’t seen him with anyone in months.”

“He’s twenty-three, that’s normal.”

“Sure, but I don’t believe for a second the extra effort tonight isn’t for him. But if it wasn’t, and if instead it was for Gavin, your effort was wasted. They’re working tonight.”

“It’s not for Gavin,” I said quickly.

Kelly laughed. “He was talking poor Tom’s ear off about you today.”

“Come on, we talked last night about stupid, random things.”

“He told Tom he thinks you guys really connected, and he can’t wait to see where it goes.”

I slapped my leg. “He did not.”

“Uh huh. And don’t kill him, but Tom gave him your number.” Kelly looked ready for an onslaught.

“Is he crazy?”

“You know Tom. He’s just trying to help. He thinks you need a big, strong man to take care of you.”

“As compared to a small, weak one?”

“You have to admit, Gavin is big. He even makes Tom seem tiny. And he’s damn hot. I wonder if all of him is as big.” Kelly grinned wickedly.

“Stop, stop!”

“Come on. He’d be like your personal Brawny man.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know the guy from the paper towel ads from eons ago.”

“If you say so. Anyway, didn’t we just discuss this last night? And I distinctly remember telling you I wasn’t interested.”

“Uh huh, and I warned you that Tom was on a mission. But like I said, you’re safe tonight.”

Just like the previous night, Kelly pulled into a spot out front of Gill’s. Wearing a short jean skirt and a gray tank that had an almost sparkly quality to it and didn’t completely hide the fact that I had a chest, I kind of understood what Kelly was getting at. Still, it’s not like I was wearing a dress.

“We’re right on time. They should be on real soon.” Kelly opened the door and we walked inside. We grabbed a few beers before pushing past the bar.

The Grizzlies must really bring in a crowd, I thought, because the place was twice as packed as the night before. Kelly led us over to a table off to the side. It was close enough we’d get a good view, but not enough to immediately bring us to the band’s attention.

Just as I started to relax, we were interrupted. “So, I’m supposed to apologize to you.” Jake’s body language suggested he wanted to do anything but apologize.

“Don’t bother. You said what you wanted to say.”

He slumped down in a chair. “Are you really not going to argue with me?”

“You sound disappointed,” Kelly said.

“Geez, if you can’t fight with me, what good are you?”

“I guess I’m useless then, sorry.” I shrugged, drinking from my beer. I didn’t have the energy to deal with Jake. I was nervous enough about watching Ben.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Jake, if you don’t get away from this table in the next five seconds, you’re going to be sorry.” Kelly sounded surprisingly menacing.

“Molly Sander letting other people fight her battles… And I thought I’d seen everything.” Jake pushed back his chair and sauntered away.

“So, imagine what would happen if Jake decided to funnel some of that anger toward other, more interesting pursuits.”

“Interesting pursuits?” I laughed.

“Seriously. I think he gets off when you fight with him, and you aren’t playing along anymore.”

“Ughh, you seriously have the dirtiest mind. How does Tom live with you?”

“He lives with me just fine. He likes what I come up with using my dirty mind.”

I put my head in my hands. “Please, no more details.”

“No more details about what?”

I glanced up. Ronny and a few of his friends joined us. “I didn’t expect to see you here again so soon.”

“You know me, always at the bar.”

“My, you’ve grown up Molly. It’s weird to see you at a bar, drinking,” one of the guys who I recognized as Shayna’s friend Matt said.

“Yeah, I’m growing up.”

“Where’s Nancy tonight?” Kelly asked Matt.

“Home with the kids.”

“Nice wife.”

“Haha. She gets her girls’ nights out. I play fair.”

The conversation died out as the Grizzlies took the stage.

The intro to the first song was instrumental. Ben sat at the piano. He played guitar half the time, but I loved his piano playing best. I was the one who convinced him to integrate piano into the band in the first place. I was happy to see they’d stuck with it. I didn’t recognize the song, but it didn’t surprise me. I doubted they were playing the same stuff after all this time.

Just as I was settling into the light melody, Ben started to sing. His voice made me shiver, just like it always did. Something about his voice got to me. Maybe it was the almost gravelly quality to it, but Ben’s voice touched me in a way no one else’s voice ever did.

I tried to concentrate on the lyrics, something about a forgotten bicycle on a rainy day. Ben sometimes liked to tap into childhood memories in his song writing. This time I could almost believe I listened to a young boy lament leaving his bike in the rain.

Ronny got us another round of beers, and I tried to avoid looking at Ben. Familiar longing moved through me. We may have been apart for five years, but three years of history is hard to erase.

I snuck a glance at him and noticed him staring at me.

Kelly leaned over to whisper in my ear. “It looks like your outfit worked.”

I smacked her arm. “Shut up.”

I started to laugh, and Ben’s lips twisted into a smile. If he was embarrassed to be caught staring, he didn’t show it. Of course, he was also playing a gig.

The set went quickly, and I tried to prepare myself if Ben actually did want to hang out afterward.

“All right, one more song. Any requests?” Ben asked the crowd.

“Play ‘Six Feet Under,’” someone yelled, getting the crowd cheering.

“Uh oh,” Kelly said quietly.

“Why uh oh?”

“It’s about you.”

“He wrote a song called ‘Six Feet Under’ about me? Is it as bad as the name implies?”

“Yeah. Really bad.” Kelly looked down at the table.

“Great, this is exactly what I need. Why the hell did he bother with the invitation if he was going to torture me?”

“I’d say he didn’t expect to play it, but it’s one of their hits. I was going to warn you, but I hoped—”

The music started, interrupting Kelly.

Fifteen and you said you’d love me forever,

Sixteen and you gave yourself to me,

Seventeen and you put me in a grave six feet under.

Whatever happened to forever meaning living and breathing—