Desert Rain (27 page)

It was impossible.

His fingertips were touching her face as though she was a beautiful, fragile dream he was
afraid of awakening.

I took Holly home, Linc said, kissed her, kissed her again and again, wanting her until I
shook with it ...

She tried to say something, to make him stop retelling her own dream in his words. But he
kept talking in a voice that was husky with desire and regret and an emotion she was
afraid to

name, much less believe in.

The next night I held my sweet Holly again, but differently. Her parents were dying, and
she wept in my arms and I learned that shared grief was as binding as shared desire. She
let me hold her, cry with her, love her. And then she was gone.

Linc paused, remembering. His eyes were dark with pain.

I never wanted a woman as much as I wanted Holly, he said, until six years later in Palm
Springs, when a cat-eyed, black-haired model held out her arms to me and promised me . . .
everything.

Holly moved restlessly.

Dont, she said. I cant live through it all again. Not now, knowing how it ends.

Gently, irresistibly, Linc continued.

Suddenly I understood what had happened to my father, he said simply. I no longer hated
him, but I knew I would hate myself if I gave in to what I felt.

She made a small sound and shivered.

I didnt see Holly beneath Shannons fire, Linc said. I didnt realize that I wanted
Shannonbecause she was Holly. All I saw was a woman beautiful enough to destroy a mans
soul.

Lincno.

His lips brushed over hers, silencing her with a tenderness that was like a razor slicing
through her soul.

I lashed out at what I saw, he said. I was trying to protect myself from the kind of
hunger I thought Id never feel again. But I felt it. God, how I felt it.

Linc paused, touched Hollys lips gently, and kept talking, trying to make her understand
what he had only just begun to understand himself in the last hundred days.

I couldnt sleep, he said. I saddled Sand Dancer and set out on the roughest trail I could
find. It was a wild night and a damn fool thing to do.

His sad smile tore at her heart.

But people who love sometimes do foolish things, he said, like stand in front of
rattlesnakes to save someone elses life.

Linc put his fingers beneath Hollys chin and turned her to face him.

Thank you for Beth, he said quietly. I already had figured out that you werent the selfish
woman of my nightmares, but I didnt know just how unselfish you truly were.

His fingers radiated warmth through her cold body. Her own hand moved, covering his. His
hand turned and his fingers laced through hers.

Holly watched him, her eyes tawny in the dying light.

I had better luck than I deserved the night I rode into the storm, Linc said. I woke up
next to the woman I loved and thought Id lost. She fitted against me so perfectly, melting
in my hands . . .

His voice caught and for a moment there was only the sound of the wind teasing the
brilliant canopy.

Then I found out that Holly was Shannon, he said. I felt betrayed. Caught like my father.
A fool. I took the only revenge I could and proved what an utter fool I really was. Ill
never forgive myself for that, nin‡ .

She said nothing, only laced her fingers more deeply with his and watched him with
something close to hope in her eyes.

Yet you forgave me, Linc whispered. You came to me like a cloud to a mountain, sinking
into me like desert rain, giving life to me. But you were Shannon, too, and I was . . .
afraid of you.

A tremor went through Holly at the thought that he had feared her.

Each time we made love, he said, you sank more deeply into me. And then you said goodbye
because I couldnt say the simple truth. I love you. I want you for my wife. I want
children with you, a family. A lifetime.

Linc, she whispered.

It was all she could say. Her throat was tight, aching with all the tears that she hadnt
allowed herself to cry since Cabo San Lucas.

Linc looked at Hollys pale, drawn face and was afraid he had understood himself too late.

Dont look so frightened, he said heavily. Im not asking you to stop being Shannon. I want
to add to your life, not take away from it. Ill travel with you when I can, stay home when
I have to. Just let me have part of you again. I love you so much

His voice caught and his eyes searched hers.

Tell me Im not too late, Linc whispered. Tell me that living without me is like dying
every day. Tell me that you still love me.

Holly put her fingers on his lips to stop his words. She couldnt bear his pain any longer.
It was too like her own had been. Like dying every day. I love you, she whispered.

She felt him tremble beneath her fingers, felt the heat of his breath expelled in a long
rush. His strong arms tightened, starting to pull her close. Then he stopped as though he
had been shot.

She knew that he was remembering the moment when she had awakened. She had flinched at his
touch. She drew his mouth down to hers, breathing her warmth into him, her life, her
dreams. Her love.

Slowly their bodies flowed together, healing each other with a touch and a sigh, melting
into each other until neither could say whose lips were kissed, whose tears were tasted,
who spoke first of the life they would share, children and laughter, dreams as strong as
the people who dreamed them.

And then there was only silence and need, cloud and mountain, the season of rain and life
renewing.