Designed to Death (A Faith Hunter Scrap This Mystery) (24 page)

I snapped a couple of pictures with my cell phone then foraged my way out of the closet. “Darlene, there’s something in here you need to see.”

Lights bounced past the slats covering the bedroom window. Red rotating lights.

This was not good. Not good at all.

I ran out of the room. “The cops.”

Darlene poked her head out of the office. “I’m sure it’s about the noisy party across the street. Not everything is about you.”

About me? The woman who screeched about any possibility of a loop hole in the small contests the store ran, the woman who insisted she get dibs for the “choice location” at crops even when she showed up late, the woman who only wanted to solve her cousin’s murder to clear
her
name, insinuated I was self-centered?

I clenched my hands. I was not a violent person. At all. Darlene made me reconsider the stance. I went back into the bedroom and lifted a corner of the blinds. The red light bounced off the walls. A cruiser was parked in Belinda’s driveway. The driver’s door opened.

Why did I ever listen to Darlene?
Because you allow guilt rather than common sense and self-preservation to rule your brain.

“They’re here.” I called out.

“Just keep calm. I have this under control.” Darlene flicked her hair over her shoulder and adjusted the strap of her purse. She flounced down the stairs.

And because I had no sense of self-preservation, I followed after her. This wasn’t going to go well. If Darlene handled this situation in the same manner she did any disappointment or disagreement while shopping or cropping at Scrap This, we’d both wind up in jail.

Would I be better off calling my grandmothers or Steve? Marilyn owed me. I got her out of jail, seemed fair for her to do the same for me.

The door banged open.

“What are you two doing here?” With gun drawn, Detective Ted Roget stepped into the house.

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Of all the police officers to explain this to, it would be Ted.

“Picking up something I need for a party,” Darlene said.

“Really, a party?” Ted’s eyes narrowed and he looked Darlene and I up and down, very slowly and suspiciously.  He holstered the gun. “Interesting choice of outfits. All black.”

Darlene straightened her posture and stared back at Ted. I wanted to squeeze my eyes closed, and cover my mouth and ears. I couldn’t quite pull off the see-hear-speak-no-evil stance by myself.

“It’s a costume party.” Darlene emphasized the word costume and threw a look at Ted that spoke of his lack of intelligence.

I blocked a moan from escaping. Of all people, why was Darlene challenging Ted? Okay, I did have my share of words with the man but we kind-of-sort-of got along, and I had been in the right in those situations. There was no way Darlene and I could pass this off as a good choice.

Costume party or not.

“You expect me to believe you’re having a costume party with only two guests?” Ted eyed us suspiciously. “In Ms. Watson’s home?”

Darlene licked her lips, squared her shoulders, and thrust out a hip. I knew this position. She was readying to start one of her verbal beat-downs.

I wanted to launch a sidekick at Darlene, but that would really give us away. The neck of the black long sleeved shirt I wore seemed to tighten the longer Ted stared, and Darlene prepared.

I eyed the door. Could I make a break for it?

Ted focused those angry eyes on me and shook his head once. I needed to work on my poker face.

“Of course not.” Darlene huffed at him. “There are four people attending. My mother, my aunt Hazel, Faith and I.”

“How unknowing of me.” Ted rested his hands near his gun and handcuffs. He really had a thing for placing his hands at those locations of his belt. “That’s quite an unusual guest list.”

“We like to keep it to a foursome and with Belinda gone...” Darlene trailed off and drew in a deep breath.

“You decided to include Faith.”

“Of course I did. My mother said it was the polite thing to do considering the little scandal I created at the store.” Darlene rolled her eyes as she emphasized the word scandal.

“I’m sure Faith appreciated the invite.” Ted’s eyebrows shot up and he stared at me, almost willing me to say something.

I pressed my lips together and nodded.

“Neither of you thought it was a horrible idea to come into the house of a murder victim.”

“That would be a bad idea,” Darlene said. “But I was coming into the house of my cousin.”

Ted rolled his eyes. “Well, forgive me. I didn’t know there was a difference.”

“I forgive you.” Darlene bestowed a smile on him and hefted her purse strap back onto her shoulder. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just get my fondue set and we’ll be on our way.”

“I don’t think so.” Ted maneuvered around us and stood in front of the kitchen entryway.

“Come on, Darlene.” I grabbed hold of her arm and tugged. “We’re going to be late. We’ll just grab some frozen appetizers.”

“Frozen!” Darlene squealed and placed a hand against her heart. “I do not serve frozen food. How dare you accuse me of such a thing!”

I drew back and held up my hands. “Didn’t know it’d be an insult.”

Ted stepped between us. “Ladies, ladies. Let’s remain civil.”

“Of course you’d take Faith’s side.” Darlene pivoted sharply, directing herself toward the kitchen. She charged forward.

Ted grabbed hold of her arm.

“Darlene, don’t...” I started to warn her to listen to Ted, and then tried changing it when the large bag slipped down her shoulder. Too late.

Darlene yanked away from Ted. The bag slipped, tipped over, and items rained from her purse onto the floor. Lipsticks, pens, a glue gun, glue sticks, Chap Stick in different flavors, beads, scrapbook gems, paperclips, eyeliners. I watched in amazement at the variety of make-up and scrapbook supplies housed in her bag scattered across the floor.

What didn’t the woman carry in her purse? If she had wanted to hurt, maim or kill a person, all she needed to do was whack them in the head with the oversized quilted bag.

Ted released Darlene’s arm and gaped at the items rolling around on the floor. Well, at least someone else besides me would claim the title of most annoying woman in Eden.

“Now see what you made me do.” Darlene released a huff of air. She slowly lowered herself to the ground and rounded up a few of her items, placing them back into her purse.

I dropped down and shoveled things into the cavernous bag.

“Is it really necessary to carry so much?” Ted asked as he joined us in the quest of returning Darlene’s items back into their rightful place.

“I will not dignify that question with a response.”

I kept to myself that what she said was a response.

Sighing, Darlene laid flat on the floor, and with her arm outstretched, wiggled her way to the couch. “You would think with this rug that my lipstick wouldn’t find its way all the way under the couch.”

One would also think that when going on a “search and seizure” mission, they’d take only the essentials. Bringing an empty bag made sense so you could fill it up, but a full one was not very bright.

Darlene stood and dusted off her pants. I scanned the area, looking for any more of Darlene’s runaway items. Nothing.

Ted also rose and shot a glare at Darlene and a why-do-you-torment-me glance at me. I stopped myself from responding with even a shrug. I had no idea why I was being blamed for this mess. I was the tagalong, not the brains behind this ill-fated mission.

“Do you have everything?” Ted asked, the weariness evident in his voice.

Darlene opened her purse, stuck her hand, and part of her head, inside the bag and rooted around. “Everything is accounted for.”

“Now, I must ask the both of you to leave.”

“But my fondue set.” Darlene clutched the purse to her bosom. “I can’t go home without it. My mother has all the ingredients ready. What is a party without food?”

“I’m sure you can stop and buy one.”

Darlene shook her head. “No. They don’t make that set anymore. We must use the Halloween fondue set at Halloween. It goes with my decor.”

“You’ll just have to make do,” Ted said.

I could see his patience growing thinner and thinner.

Darlene paled. She grabbed a folder from a long, high table located right behind the couch and fanned herself.

“Use the Thanksgiving fondue set for Halloween. No. No. No. That won’t work. The color scheme is all wrong. The burnt orange plates, bronze pot and the sticks with the turkey, pilgrim, cornucopia, and pumpkin clash with the black and bright orange decorations I have out.”

Darlene looked totally “aghast” about the situation.

“It’s orange.” Ted took hold of an arm of mine and Darlene and steered us toward the door.

“Oh no, it’s not.” Darlene grounded to a halt. Outrage splashed across her face. “Thanksgiving orange is not the same as Halloween orange. Thanksgiving orange is more muted, softer, a peaceful rather thankful color.” She moved her hands through the air as if they were boats floating on calm seas.

Ted rolled his eyes.

Darlene narrowed hers. “Halloween is bold. In your face. Vivid.” She displayed the color by flicking her fingers out and waving her hands in a big circle over her head.

“It’s orange,” Ted said.

“Colors are not one-dimensional.” Darlene’s left eye twitched.

“I can vouch the man does not understand shades. He thinks neon...” I stressed the hue, “green is perfectly suited as the background for a layout.”

Darlene gasped and shook her head. “Background. That will not do. A mat and embellishments are fine, but not for the background.”

I crossed the top half of my body over Ted’s so I could speak to Darlene. “I know right? I’m thinking we need a class on hues at the store. Green is not just, well, green.”

Darlene nodded. “That’s a fabulous idea. Gear it toward men. Use simple terms or men speak.”

“Men speak?” Ted opened the front door.

Darlene pointed at the cruiser. “Siren red instead of Christmas red. Pittsburg Steeler yellow as opposed to WVU yellow.”

“Those colors are a little different,” Ted said.

I stared at Ted for a little while, the wheels in my head spinning. I think Darlene was onto something. Something seemed to click in Ted’s brain and I caught a little bit of a “that’s what women mean about hues and shades,” vibe of understanding.

Ted gave me a gentle prod out the door. “Call me when you schedule that class. I’d be interested in it. If for no other reason than my ex-wife’s eyes will stop bulging out when I buy clothes for our daughter.”

“Faith could always go along with you.” Darlene said. “She’s always color-coordinated.”

Ted checked out my all black outfit one more time. “I can see that. That might be a good idea.”

“Are you sure I can’t run in and get my fondue set.” Darlene looked at him with wide, trying-to-be-innocent eyes.

“I’m sure.” Ted crossed his arms over his muscular chest.

“Could you get it for me?” Darlene pressed the issue. “There wasn’t anything saying we couldn’t come in, like crime tape or a note. So it has to mean none of the stuff is evidence. Right?”

Ted released a long suffering sigh. He pointed at her car. “Go wait in there. If I can find it easily...”

“My keys.” Darlene shifted the folder from one hand to the other and pointed at the table behind the couch.

“I’ll get them.” Ted made the international sign for hand-it-over. “The folder.”

Darlene blushed and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Forgot I had it.”

She gave it to Ted. He exchanged the folder for the keys.

“What about the fondue set?” Darlene batted her lashes. “It’ll be in the lower cabinet on the right hand side. You’ll see a large, red stand mixer on the counter. It’ll be in a box with a picture of an orange fondue pot, four plates, four sticks on the top. It’ll say Halloween fondue set on it. In a cursive font.”

“Thank you for that, I’m sure I couldn’t figure it out without all those details.” Ted pivoted and walked back into the house, muttering under his breath.

“Before he changes his mind and decides to arrest us, let’s go wait in the car.”

I grabbed her arm and tugged her toward the car. Fortunately, this time she was compliant.

“Don’t be silly, Faith.” Darlene brushed my hand off her arm. “It’s not like he knows we did anything wrong.”

Knows? I tripped and would’ve landed smack on my face if Darlene hadn’t linked her arm through mine and jerked me back to my feet.

“You worry way too much, Faith. There’s no way Detective Roget knows I brought all that stuff to purposely dump on the floor so we could check out the area.”

It was kind of ingenious in a way. I know I would’ve never thought to bring props to play a game of ‘pick-up-sticks’ as a ruse for searching for evidence.

She dropped the keys Ted gave her into my lap and pulled out a set from her coat pocket. “Those are Belinda’s keys. If she didn’t have them on her when she died...”

“Someone went with her.”

Darlene nodded. Her hands fisted around the steering wheel. “Someone she trusted enough to give a key to her home. I doubt she expected not to return.”

“Her man.”

Darlene stared at me wide-eyed. “Belinda wasn’t dating anyone. Hazel would’ve said something.”