Desire (20 page)

Clare drew a deep breath. She had to face him sometime and apologize. Best to get the thing over and done. It had never been her way to put off a duty or an obligation.

"My lord, I would like to say how much I regret what happened last night."

"So do I."

She wished she could see his face. His tone was so cool and dry that it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. She plunged ahead with her apology. "I am well aware that I did not fulfill my duties as a wife. I had my reasons, as I explained to you, but this morning I have concluded that mayhap I did not proceed in a reasonable and logical fashion."

"In other words, you have decided that the pleasures of physical passion are more interesting than the intellectual joys of trust and friendship?"

"Oh, no, I do not mean that at all," she said quickly. "I still want our marriage to be founded on trust and friendship. Tis just that this morning I am not certain that I went about securing those things in the right way last night."

Gareth yanked the curtain aside without any warning. He stood looking down at her with a speculative gleam in his eyes. Clare noticed that he had on his undertunic, but he was still barefoot. His fingers were closed around a small object which she could not make out.

"Are you telling me that sometime during the night you developed some trust in your new husband?" he asked rather casually.

She hesitated, aware that he was deliberately taunting her. The knowledge hurt. She composed herself in quiet dignity. "I would have us start anew, my lord. I am prepared to be a proper wife to you and consummate this marriage."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I trust you in many ways, Gareth." She waved her hand in an earnest fashion to indicate the chamber and everything that lay beyond. "I trust you to protect this manor. I trust you to fulfill your responsibilities to my people. I believe that you will be a wise and generous lord."

"Is that all?"

She gave him a hopeful smile. "It seems to me that is a great deal to start out with, sir."

"Aye. But I would have more, madam." He studied her face. "I see you have been doing some thinking on the subject of our marriage."

"I spent hours thinking about it last night," she assured him.

"I, too, spent a good portion of the night contemplating our future together. I also came to a decision and your apology this morning does not alter that decision."

She watched him warily. "What decision did you reach?"

"The sword stays between us at night until you are certain that you trust me in all ways, most especially as a husband."

"I do trust you."

"No, madam, you do not. Last night you made it plain that you believed I was incapable of controlling my passions."

Clare's cheeks burned. "You proved me wrong, sir."

"Did I?"

"Aye. I apologize for that stupidity. I believed you to be so carried away by desire that you could not recall our understanding. I know now that you are very much in control of yourself and your passions and that you are very unlikely to be swayed by them."

"At this rate, your manner of reasoning will have us both twisted into knots. We will talk about it some other time. As you are wide awake, you may as well rise and get dressed."

"Gareth, I think we should discuss this further."

"Nay, I am in no mood to continue this idiotic conversation this morning."

"You are still deeply offended by my actions last night, are you not?"

He motioned her to quit the bed. "Rise, madam. As I said, we will discuss this later."

Still she hesitated. A startling thought struck her. "Gareth, were you more than offended last night? Were you hurt because you believed that I was rejecting you after you had given me so much pleasure?"

"Will you kindly get out of this damned bed before I remove you from it myself?"

Clare gazed at him in confusion. "Why must I rush from the bed?"

Gareth's mouth thinned with the expression of a man who is very much put upon but doing his best to be

patient. "I thought we might take an early morning stroll together along the cliffs."

Clare brightened immediately. "That would be wonderful. I do love an early morning walk."

"Dress warmly," he muttered. "The fog has lifted, but there is a chill in the air."

"Aye, I will."

Clare scrambled quickly out of bed. She threw Gareth a tremulous smile and then hurried toward the wardrobe chamber which adjoined the main bedchamber.

The room was empty at this early hour, save for the usual chests of clothing and the baskets of needles and thread the maids kept there. Clare sent up a small prayer of thanks that it was still too early for any of the servants to be at their work.

She had opened one of the chests and was reaching for a warm gown when she had a sudden inspiration. Clutching the garment in front of her, she padded quickly back into the bedchamber.

"Gareth, mayhap you would like to ride out rather than walk? I very much enjoyed our ... By Saint Hermione's eyes." She broke off in outraged shock. "What are you doing?"

Gareth had one knee on the bed. He was in the process of emptying the contents of a small vial onto the sheets. He looked up. Something he saw in her expression must have alerted him. "Now, Clare, I am doing this for your sake."

"My sake?" She pointed a finger that shook with the force of her fury. "That's chicken blood in that vial, is it not?"

"Clare, listen to me."

"You are putting chicken blood on the sheets."

"Aye. I have heard that it's a common substitute for ... ah, well, you know."

She folded her arms beneath her breasts and slitted her eyes. "I know very well what it's used for, my lord."

"Clare, the servants who come to change the sheets will be looking for evidence of our wedding night. Gossip about the blood on the linen or the lack of it will be all over the isle by this afternoon. You know that as well as I do."

"So you are going to see to it that your honor as a man remains untarnished, is that it?"

"Hell's teeth. 'Tis your honor that I am concerned with, madam. I would not have everyone speculating on why there is no stain on the wedding sheets."

"Hah! I do not believe that for a moment. Tis your pride that concerns you. You cannot bear to have the world think that you got saddled with a bride who had given herself to another before the wedding, can you?"

"You believe that 'tis my pride that's involved here?" he demanded incredulously.

"Aye, that is precisely what I believe."

Clare stormed across the chamber, bent down, and dragged a small chest out from under the bed. It was the chest in which she had concealed all of the vials of chicken blood that she had been given on her wedding day.

Gareth scowled as he watched her jerk open the lid of the chest. "What are you doing?"

"You want blood on the sheets?" She straightened, her hands full of the vials. "You'll get blood on the sheets, my lord. Indeed, I shall see to it that you get all the blood any man could possibly want."

He eyed her warily as she stalked toward the bed. "Ah, Clare, mayhap your temper is running off with your wits."

"Oh, no, my lord, I assure you that I am thinking quite clearly at the moment." She gave him a

honey-and-steel smile and then clambered up to stand in the middle of the big bed. "In fact, I venture to say that my wits have never been sharper or more clear than they are right now."

He looked at the collection of vials she was juggling. "Then why do I have the suspicion that we are both going to regret what you are about to do next?"

"I cannot imagine, my lord." Clare unstoppered the first vial and held it aloft. "Behold, sir, you are not the only person to doubt my word of honor."

"I do not doubt your word of honor, Clare. I am merely trying to protect you from gossip."

"Bah. You didn't mean a thing you said last night about trusting me. You will be pleased to know that you are in excellent company. Herewith, the chicken blood that was graciously supplied to me by Beatrice the recluse."

Clare turned the open vial upside down and dumped the contents onto the sheets. The old chicken blood, thick and clotted after being stored in the vial for nearly two days, made a nasty reddish brown puddle in the center of the white linen. It completely obliterated the few discreet drops of red that Gareth had sprinkled about.

Gareth looked at the unsightly blob and then regarded Clare with an expression of polite curiosity. "Are you finished?"

"Not at all. We are just beginning, my lord." Clare selected another vial and held it aloft for Gareth's

inspection. "Here we have the chicken blood that was so kindly bestowed upon me by Prioress Margaret. I'm sure it was from a very pure chicken. A virgin chicken, mayhap."

Clare turned the second vial upside down with a flourish. The dark red blood spilled onto the sheets, adding to the gruesome stain.

Gareth folded his arms and propped one shoulder against the bedpost.

"From my good friend, Joanna." Clare emptied another vial.

"From my loyal servant, Eunice." She smiled grimly as she unsealed the next container. More blood splashed onto the linen.

"And last, but by no means least, the contribution made to the cause by my old nurse, Agnes."

Clare's outrage was still in full sail as she triumphantly turned the last vial upside down and dumped the blood onto the sheets. She gave Gareth a look of defiant triumph. "Is that a sufficient quantity of blood to satisfy your honor, my lord?"

Gareth studied the large and quite horrifying pool of thick blood which soaked the bed linen. "I am not certain what you hoped to accomplish, madam, but one thing is clear. No one who views these sheets will believe for one moment that I made love to a virgin last night."

"And just what will they think, sir?"

"That I sacrificed one."

"Oh, my God." Clare stared at the awful mess she had created. Reality came back with the force of a thunderbolt. She stood, stricken, in the middle of the bed and raised her eyes helplessly to meet Gareth's gaze.

He smiled slowly.

"By Saint Hermione's maidenhead," Clare whispered. "What have I done?"

Gareth's crystal gray eyes gleamed with gathering mirth.

"This is not at all amusing, Hellhound. This is a disaster. How will I ever explain this vast amount of blood?"

Gareth's smile curved into a grin.

"Gareth, so help me. I'm warning you—"

He began to chuckle.

Outraged all over again, Clare picked up one of the herb-scented pillows and hurled it at him. It struck Gareth squarely on the chest. Clare picked up a second pillow.

Gareth's chuckle became a roar of magnificent, full-throated, laughter. It was a huge sound that originated deep in his chest and poured forth with the unfettered exuberance of a waterfall.

Clare clutched the pillow to her breast and stared at him. She realized it was the first time she had heard him laugh.

The glorious sound boomed off the stone walls and echoed around the chamber. Gareth unfolded his arms, took a grip on the bedpost with one hand, and doubled over with laughter.

Clare tilted her head to one side and watched in growing wonder. "Gareth? Are you all right?"

His mirth increased. His broad shoulders shook with it.

Clare wrinkled her nose. "It isn't all that funny, sir."

Another gale of laughter swept over him.

"Hush." Clare glanced nervously toward the door. "Someone will hear you, my lord."

Gareth braced his forearm against the bedpost, leaned against it, and howled.

Clare started to smile in spite of herself. The sight of Gareth convulsed with laughter was oddly gratifying, for some strange reason.

"I'm glad you find this a cause for such grand mirth, my lord," she said. "I doubt that any of those brave chickens that died for my honor were nearly so amused as yourself."

"Nay." Gareth raised his head to look at her. He tried and failed to swallow another shout of laughter. "I doubt that they were. Mayhap if they could have seen you now, as I do, caught in such an interesting dilemma, they would have felt better about the matter. By my oath, madam, those poor chickens have surely had their revenge."

Clare groaned. "What am I going to do? This is a terrible situation. Everyone will gossip about it. I cannot possibly explain it. What will people think?"

"That the lady of Desire has some very exotic tastes in bed."

Clare beetled her brows at him. "I would like to remind you, my lord, that you are as involved in this as I

am."

"Aye."

"Mayhap everyone will think that you did something quite dreadful to me last night. They will likely blame you for this."

"I doubt it. I suspect that whoever changes these sheets will recognize such vast quantities of chicken blood when she sees it."

Clare groaned. "Everyone will conclude that I botched the business of creating an illusion of virginity, will they not?"

"Aye, madam. Very likely. In this sort of thing, as in so many things in life, discretion and restraint are the keys one must use if one wishes to succeed."

Clare collapsed into a sitting position at the foot of the bed. She folded her legs under her, propped her elbow on one knee, and rested her chin in her hand. Glumly she studied the mess on the bed.

"I am going to look like a perfect fool, aren't I?" Clare said.

Gareth's laughter faded into a grin. His eyes remained quite brilliant, however. "Aye, madam. This business will likely prove a stimulating topic of conversation for our people for the next several months. Mayhap for the next several years."

"By Saint Hermione’s—"

Gareth held up a hand. "Not her maidenhead, I pray you. Anything but that."

"By her sainted brow." Clare sighed. "This is the most humiliating moment of my entire life."

"Nay, madam. I expect that will occur when you are obliged to face a hall full of people today at dinner."

Clare flinched at the thought. "What are we going to do?"

Gareth arched one brow. "We?"

"Tis your fault, sir," she muttered. "All of it. If you hadn't made me lose my temper, this would never have happened."