Desire After Dark: A Gansett Island Novel (12 page)

Jenny stepped into the room and closed the door.
“I think of him every single day,” she said softly in response to Erin’s unspoken thought. “Nothing could ever change that.”

“I didn’t mean to imply—”

“Erin, honey, I know you didn’t. It’s only natural for people to think I’ve moved on with Alex. I’m happy again, so why would I dwell on the grief of the past? But you and I both know it’s not that simple.” As she rested her hand over
her heart, her eyes filled with tears. “He will
always
be with me. Always.” Jenny cleared her throat and took the tissue Erin handed her. “Do you remember at our wedding when Alex and I lit three candles and then the unity candle?”

“I can’t say I noticed that.”

“Well, we did, and the third candle was for Toby. Alex suggested it. He never loses sight of the fact that he got his happy
ending because someone else died.”

“That’s… That’s a wonderful tribute.”

“His picture is still on the bedside table in the room I share with my husband.” She took a small step closer to Erin. “And you, my dear, darling friend, will always be my
sister
, no matter how many new sisters I may acquire along the way.”

“I’m a jealous cow,” Erin said, sniffing through her tears. She
should’ve known Jenny would tune in to what had set her off.

Jenny laughed. “No, you’re the loyal and wonderful sister of my heart who understands my journey better than just about anyone else ever could.”

“I love Hope. She’s awesome.”

“Yes, she is, and I couldn’t be happier for her and Paul and Ethan. She’s going to be a wonderful addition to my family, but she could
never
take your place in my family or my heart. You’re right there next to Toby, two of the most important people in my life.”

Erin hugged her, and they clung to each other the way they had during the horrible days, weeks, months and years that followed Toby’s death. “I’m sorry to rain on your first Christmas with Alex. I’ve been a bit of a basket case lately.”

“You’re not raining on anything,
and you’re
not
a basket case. You’re falling in love with a wonderful man, and if I know you at all, you’re fighting it tooth and nail.”

“I’m
not
falling in love. I’m in lust. That’s all it is.”

“Funny, that’s what I said about Alex, and now here I am with his ring on my finger and knocked up with his kid.”

Erin gasped. “Oh my God! You are? You’re
pregnant
?”

Smiling
at her reaction, Jenny said, “Three months.”

“You didn’t tell me!”

“We haven’t told anyone, but I wanted you to know.”

Erin hugged her again. “This is such amazing news. I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Thanks, we’re thrilled. But don’t think my news gets you off the hook on falling in love. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. I’ve never seen you
look at anyone else the way you look at him, not even Mitch.”

“This… He… We…” Erin groaned in frustration while Jenny laughed.

“He’s got you stuttering.”

“Among other things,” Erin muttered.

“Can I give you one teeny, tiny piece of advice?”

“Can I stop you?”

Laughing, Jenny put her hands on Erin’s shoulders, compelling Erin to look at her. “When Alex and
I were first together, I was a disaster. All I did was try to deny what was happening because it was too much too soon. I’d learned the hard way not to take chances, you know?”

“I know all too well.”

“But there was something about him. Something different. And he refused to let me cop out of what was happening between us.”

“Sounds like Slim.”

“Letting it happen with
Alex is the best thing I’ve done since I lost Toby. I want you to find your happily ever after, too, Er. And I think he could be it.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for all the things he could be.”

“You’re never ready for something like this, but I’d hate to see you have regrets if you wimp out and let him get away.”

“Wimp out?”

“Isn’t that what you’d be doing if you don’t
at least
try
to make it work with him?”

“You don’t pull any punches.”

“When have I ever pulled punches? I want you to be happy, and in order for that to happen, you have to take a chance.
You have to
. Isn’t that what you’re always telling the women who write to you?”

“Don’t throw my own words back in my face,” Erin said, smiling.

“You know I’m right.”

They were
interrupted by another knock.

“Your guy or mine?” Jenny asked. “What do you think?”

“Probably yours.”

“I say yours, but let’s find out.” Jenny opened the door to Slim and sent Erin a smug look.

“Everything all right in there, ladies?” he asked, his eyes laser focused on Erin.

“Yes, we’re good,” she said.

“Take a minute.” Jenny kissed her cheek before she
left the room, patting Slim’s arm on the way by.

“Sorry,” Erin said. “I just needed a minute. I’m okay now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

With his hands propped on the doorframe, he said, “When Jenny said that to Hope about being sisters… I’ve only seen that expression on your face once before, the day Jenny married Alex at the lighthouse.”

Unnerved by his assessment,
she crossed her arms. “You’re awfully insightful.”

He flashed the irrepressible grin that she found so sexy. “Pilots and bartenders, sweetheart. I’ve been telling you that for months now.”

Erin went to him, put her hands on his chest and kissed him. “Thank you for coming to check on me. Let’s go finish dinner.”

“You want to skip the McCarthys’ later?”

“Not at all. I’m
fine. I promise.” She thought he would step back to let her pass, but instead, he wrapped his arms around her. Snuggled into his warm embrace, breathing in his appealing scent, Erin relaxed ever so slightly. He made her feel like nothing bad would happen if he continued to hold her this way. “Let’s go finish dinner.”

He kissed the top of her head and released her, but kept his hand on her
back as they returned to the dining room, where the others carried on as if nothing had happened, which was exactly what she needed.

Erin loved these people. She truly did. And she was beginning to love Slim, too.

K
evin cooked
a turkey that turned out sort of dry. His sons would eat anything, so he wasn’t too worried about impressing them. No, he was far more concerned about making sure Chelsea had a nice dinner.

She brought mashed potatoes and apple pie and wore a pale pink sweater that clung to her
breasts. Her long blonde hair, which was usually braided for work, was loose around her shoulders. What in the world was a goddess like her doing with a schlep like him?

“Nice apron,” she said, her eyes taking a slow, lazy trip down the front of him, making him thankful for the apron.

“You’re not allowed to look at me like that today.”

“My apologies.”

“Ah, fuck it.”
He put his arm around her and was kissing her senseless when Riley walked into the kitchen, clearing his throat to let them know he was there. Kevin withdrew from the kiss, noting the way she diverted her eyes as her face flushed with embarrassment.

“Sorry.” Riley got a beer from the fridge, cracked it open and went into the living room.

Chelsea glared at him. “You’re not allowed
to do
that
,” she hissed. “Not here.”

“Sorry.”

“You are not.”

“No, I’m really not. They need to get used to seeing me kiss you.”

“Baby steps, Kev.”

“Which one of us is the shrink, anyway?”

Chelsea stirred the gravy he had simmering on the stovetop. “Sometimes I wonder.”

Placing his hands on her hips, he leaned into her to check the other pans.

“Get that thing off me.”

“You like that thing.”

“Kevin!”

“What time are we eating, Dad?” Finn asked as he made his first appearance of the day. Neither of his sons had been there when he got home last night. He had no idea what time they’d rolled in. Finn’s dark hair was standing on end, and his blue eyes were rimmed with red, signs of a hangover.

“Half an hour
or so. Rough night?”

“Fun night.”

“You remember Chelsea, right?”

“Sure,” Finn said. “How you doing?”

“I’m good,” Chelsea said. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, same to you.” He escaped to the living room with his brother.

“Awkward,” Chelsea whispered.

Kevin began to question the wisdom of inviting Chelsea to join them for their first Christmas since he
and Deb had split up. Maybe it was too soon to expect his sons to welcome his girlfriend, or whatever she was, into their home away from home for a holiday.

Since it was far too late to turn back, he decided to make the most of it. “Everything’s ready.” He gestured to the table he’d set earlier.

“It looks really nice,” Chelsea said, taking in the table and the tree he’d put up to
try to make the holiday festive.

His sons weren’t feeling the Christmas spirit, but Kevin was determined to get through the day as best they could. They sat down to dinner, and the boys dove into the food, eating like they hadn’t been fed in a month. Chelsea picked at the food on her plate, pushing the turkey around in the gravy.

“Did you get a chance to talk to your family today?”
he asked her.

“I talked to my mom and stepfather this morning and my brother this afternoon. My niece and nephew told me every present Santa brought them.”

Kevin was ashamed to realize he hadn’t known she had a brother, niece or nephew. He wanted to know if her father was still alive, but he couldn’t ask that now. “How old are the kids?”

“Three and five.”

“I remember
those days,” he said, glancing at Riley and Finn.

“Mom called,” Finn said.

“Oh. Good. How’s she doing?”

“Fine. She’s home by herself today.”

Kevin had to bite his tongue to keep from saying that was what she’d wanted when she ended their marriage. “So she’s at the house?”

“Uh-huh.”

That was news to Kevin, who’d been told on her way out the door that he
could have the house she never wanted to see again.

Riley polished off a second plate and stood. “I’ll do the dishes.”

“I don’t mind doing them, son. Take the day off.” They’d been working long hours to help Mac finish the addition at Seamus and Carolina’s house in time for the holidays.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. I’m going to go meet some friends for a beer.”

“I’ll come with you.” Finn rose, plate in hand, to follow his brother.

“I’ll see you at Uncle Mac’s later?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Riley said.

“Me, too,” Finn added.

The front door closed behind them, and silence fell upon the house. Kevin released a deep breath that he’d been holding and noted Chelsea watching him from across the table, wineglass
dangling between her fingers. “Sorry about that.”

“Nothing to apologize for.”

“They’re not usually so… quiet.”

“Doesn’t matter how old you are when your parents split up. It’s always hard.”

Kevin topped off her glass with more wine. “How old were you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Ouch. Senior year?”

She nodded. “And to make it even better, my dad hooked up with
the mother of one of my best friends, breaking up two marriages for the price of one affair. It was a huge scandal. We were the talk of the high school.” Looking over at him, she added, “I get how your sons are feeling. Even if your breakup wasn’t a scandal, it was the end of life as they knew it.”

“I suppose so.”

“It’s hard to see your parents moving on with other people, even if
you like the other people. I adore my stepfather, but I didn’t at first. To me, he was part of the problem.”

“What changed?”

“He makes my mom really happy, happier than she’s ever been.”

“That counts for something.”

“It counts for a lot.”

“What about your dad? Is he still with the other woman?”

“Yep, they’re married and have more kids together.”

“So everyone is happy. Do you see your father?”

“Occasionally. I didn’t see him for years after it first happened. I couldn’t bear to be in the same room with him. About five years later, he had a massive heart attack, and we thought he was going to die. Since then, my brother and I have tried to be a little more forgiving, but we can never forget what he did to our family.”

After
a long pause, Kevin said, “You know what kind of bums me out about my situation?”

“What’s that?”

“I feel like they’re blaming me, when she’s the one who had the affair. She’s the one who left me and wanted out of the marriage.”

“They know that. Why do you think they’re here with you rather than there with her today?”

“Hmm, I figured it was because they’re working here
for the winter and it was easier to stay.”

“You sell yourself short, Kevin. They’re here because they
want
to be. They’ve probably known for some time that she’s back home, but they chose to stay—with you and the rest of their family.”

“It’ll be interesting to see what happens when this job at Seamus’s is done. Mac has told them he wants them to stay, but I’m not sure they will.”

“What were they doing before they came out here?”

“They work for a big construction company in Connecticut. They’re both engineers, and when things happened with Deb and me, they took leaves of absence from work to come out here for a while.”

“And it never occurred to you that they did that so they could help you through a rough time?”

“Not really,” he said with a sheepish
grin. “You sure you didn’t go to medical school?”

“Nah, I’m a graduate of the school of hard knocks—and I’m a bartender. I get people, and I’ve seen them with you before we were together. It’s obvious they think the world of you.”

“Is it?” he asked, touched by her assessment.

“Yes, Kevin,” she said, laughing. “They adore you. Just give them some time and space to get used
to the new reality. They’ll be fine and so will you.”

“That’s good to know.” Before he could lose his nerve, he said, “Come to my brother’s with me. You know everyone, and it’ll be fun.”

“It’s a family thing.”

“It’s a
Gansett
thing. Everyone is welcome. My brother loves you. He’d want you to come.”

“Your brother loves everyone.”

“True, but he’s got a soft spot
for you, as you well know.”

“He’s adorable.”

“Don’t make me jealous.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous.”

“So you’ll come?”

“Sure, I’d love to.” She took a sip of her wine. “But only because he’s going to be there.”

It took Kevin a second to realize she was joking, and then he laughed. Today hadn’t gone as smoothly as he’d hoped, but she’d made him see that
it was the first step in what would be a long journey for him and his sons as they adjusted to their new normal.

O
n the drive
home from Alex and Jenny’s, David Lawrence relived the last six months of utter bliss with Daisy. After a couple of years spent putting his life back together from the mess he’d made of it, Daisy had come along right when he was beginning to feel normal again.

At that time, however, nothing had been normal for her. Her ex-boyfriend had beaten the hell out of her and might’ve killed her if Blaine Taylor hadn’t gotten to Daisy’s house when he did. David shuddered to think of what could’ve happened if Blaine had arrived even five minutes later.

He shuddered to think of what he would’ve missed out on with Daisy, whose sweet love had been a
balm on the wounds he carried with him—most of them self-inflicted. The demise of his relationship with Janey McCarthy had nearly ruined him, not to mention the long and painful battle with lymphoma.

Those dark days were behind him now, and the most pressing thing on his mind lately was making his relationship with Daisy permanent. He’d been working for months with a jeweler on the mainland
to create a one-of-a-kind ring for a one-of-a-kind woman, and he couldn’t wait to give it to her.

His Daisy was a humble, no-frills woman. When he first met her, one of her prized possessions had been the sofa she’d found discarded by the side of the road. She’d brought it home, reupholstered it herself and turned a piece of junk into a treasure. Knowing she had zero expectations when it
came to an engagement ring had made it that much more fun for him to design something he hoped would blow her away.

He’d asked the jeweler to help him create a ring that would remind her every time she looked at it that she was everything to him. The well-insured ring had been shipped to the clinic and had arrived three days ago. Victoria, his close friend and colleague, had burst into
tears when he showed it to her.

“What?” he’d asked, alarmed by her reaction. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, David. It’s
incredible
. Absolutely
incredible
.” She’d hugged him and cried some more and oohed and aahed over the ring with such enthusiasm that David was even more confident that Daisy would love it, too. Her happiness was the only thing that really mattered to him.

Only a few
years ago, he couldn’t imagine life without Janey, but he’d done a spectacular job of screwing up that relationship beyond all repair. From the worst failure of his life, he’d learned what not to do this time around when the stakes were so much higher.

David had loved Janey. No question about that. But he was madly, deeply, insanely in love with Daisy, and he couldn’t wait to make a lifetime
commitment to her.

“You’re awfully quiet,” she said as they drove home to the place they now shared on the waterfront estate owned by Jared and Lizzie James. “What’re you thinking about?”

Since he wasn’t ready to tip his hand on what he had planned for when they got home, he said, “That this was a very nice day. A great Christmas.”

“Best one I’ve ever had.”

“Really?”
He looked over and caught the big smile she directed his way. God, he loved that smile and went to great lengths to make sure he saw it frequently every day.

“Of course it was. I have you, and that’s all I need to make this the best Christmas of my life.”

And she hasn’t seen anything yet
… They’d exchanged gifts that morning, fun things, practical things and silly things. She’d loved
the big box of lingerie he’d bought her at Tiffany’s store, and he’d particularly loved the telescope she’d gotten for him after he’d expressed an interest in getting one. He’d let her think the gift-giving was over for the day, but his best gift was still to come.

David brought their joined hands to his lips and nibbled on her knuckles, making her laugh. He liked her laughter even more
than the smiles. He liked absolutely everything about her. After he lost Janey, he’d resigned himself to a life alone, because what woman would ever want a man who’d cheated on his fiancée and girlfriend of thirteen years?

But Daisy hadn’t held that transgression against him. Instead, she’d asked him if he’d learned from it. Not only had he learned from it, the experience had shown him
what kind of man he didn’t want to be. He swore to himself—and to her—that he would never make that mistake again. She believed him, she trusted him, and she loved him. David took none of those precious gifts for granted—and he never would.

At home, he ushered her upstairs to their cozy loft above Jared’s garage. They’d talked about someday building a home of their own. Daisy thought that
day was far off in the future, but he’d already talked to Mac McCarthy about putting them on the schedule for next winter.

The man who’d once been his future brother-in-law was now a friend, after David saved the lives of Mac’s daughter and later, his nephew, both of whom might’ve died at birth without his involvement. Not to mention what he’d done for Janey, putting her back together in
a clinic unequipped for such emergencies after PJ’s chaotic birth.

He didn’t like to think about that day or what a close call it had been. One thing he knew for sure was that he never would’ve gotten over being responsible for Janey’s death. Thank goodness she and her baby had both come through fine, but it had been far too close for David’s comfort. The only good thing to come out of
that traumatic day was regaining the respect and admiration of a family he’d once planned to be part of.