Desire After Dark: A Gansett Island Novel (17 page)

“How about we try and see how it goes?”

“What if I freak out in the air?”

“I’d get you down as fast as I could.”

“Then what would we do?”

“Hire a car to drive us to Philly?”

“You’d do that?”

“I’d do anything I could for you.”

With just one sentence, he managed to convey a world
of meaning that had her sobbing all over again, this time from the emotional overload that came from realizing, right in that already fraught moment, that she was falling hard for him.

Leaving that discovery to deal with at a later date, she said, “How long will it take to get there?”

“About an hour and twenty. I have a twin-engine plane, so it won’t take long.”

“Good to know
there’s a backup if one engine quits.”

“The engines won’t quit. You don’t need to worry about that. Come here.” He gathered her into his arms. “I promise you’ll be completely safe with me. I’d never take any chances with your safety—or my own.” As he spoke, he continued to rub her back in soothing circles. “It’ll be a really quick flight.”

“I’m afraid of so many things that never
used to scare me,” she whispered. “I’m afraid of everything.”

“Then you need to stick with me, because in addition to my former careers as an EMT and circus performer, I’m an outstanding dragon slayer. Never met one yet that could defeat me. I gotcha covered, sweetheart.”

There was nothing, absolutely
nothing
, he could’ve said that would’ve meant more to her. To know he wasn’t judging
her or finding her lacking because of her fears was a huge relief. And that he didn’t push or try to coerce her into a decision but instead gave her quiet time for contemplation made it easier for her to accept his offer.

“Okay,” she said tentatively. “Let’s try it.”

“Do you have anything for the anxiety? Something to take the edge off?”

“I have Xanax for when I can’t sleep,
but I don’t take it very often anymore.” In the early years after Toby died, she’d taken it every night. But it had been a long time since she’d depended upon it.

“That’d work.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So we’re doing this?”

Erin summoned the courage she needed from deep inside, where the person she used to be still resided, and nodded. “We’re doing it.” Now
if only she could get through it without losing her mind.

S
lim took
the first shower while she packed a bag. She was all thumbs as she tried to figure out what to take while wiping away tears that continued to fall. She wasn’t ready to fly, and she certainly wasn’t prepared to lose her dad, let alone possibly both in the same day.

Was it only last
night that she’d been thinking it was time to tell Slim about her fear of flying? That seemed like a long time ago now that the phone call from her mother had changed everything. This wasn’t the first time her life had been changed forever by a phone call. She’d been in a law school class at UPenn on a Tuesday morning in September when her phone lit up with calls and messages from her parents.

Erin vividly remembered, with the surreal detachment that comes from recalling a seminal moment, that she’d gotten up and left the crowded lecture to call them back. She vividly remembered the hysteria in her mother’s voice as she tried to convey to Erin what was happening in New York. Erin had made her say the words twice before she ran from the building, looking for a television, which
she found in the student union. She’d pushed through the crowd, and when she’d gotten her first look at a building on fire, she’d passed out.

Her fellow students and the EMTs they called to tend to her had been kind. She remembered that, but not much else about that first day. She was given a sedative that calmed her for a few hours, long enough to miss seeing the buildings collapse in
real time, long enough for Jenny to tell them she’d actually spoken with Toby, that he’d been above the point of impact, that he’d had no chance of escaping.

Sitting on the bed, Erin broke down into deep, wrenching sobs as she relived the worst day of her life. The emotional firestorm wasn’t unexpected. Whenever something triggered her anxiety, she went right back to her own personal ground
zero, the day that had changed everything forever.

Slim came out of the bathroom, sat next to her on the bed and put his arm around her, offering comfort and strength. “Shh, it’s going to be okay. We’ll get you home, and by then, maybe your mom will have some good news about your dad.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping away tears.

“There’s no need to apologize. I totally get it.”

“You have no idea what a mess I am.”

“You’re not a mess, Erin. You got bad news, and it upset you.”

“It’s so much more than that.”

Rather than ask what she meant, he tightened his hold on her and kissed her temple. “I’m sort of glad you told me you’re afraid to fly. I was starting to wonder if you aren’t as into me as I’d hoped you were.”

Pained by his confession,
she looked up at him. “I’m very into you. Extremely into you.”

His smile made his eyes twinkle. “That’s exceptionally good news. Let’s get going. Your mom needs you.” He kissed her forehead. “Take the Xanax now so it’ll kick in by the time you need it.”

Erin took the pill and a quick shower and sent Jenny a text to let her know what was going on before they left the lighthouse to
drive through predawn darkness to the airport. Rather than think about where they were going—or why—she closed her eyes and put her head back against the seat, trying to calm herself while praying for the pill to do its magic. He held her hand, which went a long way toward calming her.

“We got lucky with the weather,” Slim said, breaking a long silence. “It’s forty degrees, so no need to
deice. That saves us some time.”

“Oh,” Erin said, surprised to realize she’d never thought about ice or deicing. Thank goodness he was thinking for both of them. “That’s good.”

He pulled into a parking space at the island’s tiny airport, which was dark and deserted.

“Are we allowed to do this?” Erin asked.

He grinned at her. “No worries. I’ve got keys. They know me
well here. I’m allowed to do what I want. Because they’re closed, I’ll file a flight plan with the airport in Providence, and we’ll be all set.”

“I was sort of hoping you’d say we’re definitely
not
allowed to so we can go home and pretend like I never agreed to this.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I want to get to my parents as fast as I can.
This is the fastest way. And I trust you.”

He brought her hand to his lips. “You can trust me with this and all things. I have to be honest, though. It’ll be a little bumpy leaving the island because it always is. There’s nothing at all to be afraid of, but you might not like it.”

“Maybe the Xanax will knock me out before we take off.”

“Either way, I’ll hold your hand the
whole time.”

“No, you won’t! You need your hands to fly the plane.”

Laughing, he said, “I could fly the plane wearing a blindfold with one hand tied behind my back.”

“None of which will be happening on this flight.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, grinning at her saucy comeback. “Let’s get going.” He used a key on his ring to open the gates to the airfield, and after ushering
Erin through, he closed and relocked the gate. Shouldering his backpack and her bag, he took her hand and led her to a white plane. In the murky darkness, she couldn’t make out the details, and that was probably for the best because she also couldn’t obsess about how small the plane was.

He opened the passenger-side door for her and helped her into the cockpit. “Get comfortable while I
do a preflight check. I’m going to close the door so you won’t get cold, okay?”

Comfortable
… Sure. Like that was going to happen. “Um, sure, that’s fine.”

The door closed, sealing her off from the cold and from him. Her gaze darted around the small cockpit, taking in the vast array of knobs and buttons and two sets of U-shaped controls. Was she really going to do this? Was she really
going to sit here passively while he took them hurtling down a darkened runway and lifted off into the pitch-black sky?

As much as she wanted to get to her parents, she was no longer sure that flying was the best idea. She was about to open the door and say as much to Slim when he got in the left-side door and got busy continuing his preflight check, systematically going through a checklist
that she could see after he turned on the interior lights.

He donned a headset and began talking to someone in a language she could barely understand, except for the words
Gansett Island
and
Philadelphia
. Things began to happen quickly after that. The engines fired up, more checks and rechecks were done, switches were flipped, knobs were turned, and Erin watched it all, feeling detached
and removed from the scene that was unfolding right in front of her.

If she tried hard enough, she might convince herself to believe that she was watching this happen on TV rather than living through it personally.

Slim glanced over at her, found her watching him and offered a small smile. “Ready?”

“Not even kind of.”

“I’ve got this. I promise. There’s nothing to worry
about.”

Between his assurances and the soothing effects of the medication, Erin was able to remain still while he belted her in and taxied the plane to the end of the runway.

“I need both hands for takeoff, but after that, one of them is all yours. And remember—there’ll be a few bumps on the climb, but it’ll smooth out as soon as we get above the clouds. Okay?”

She nodded
because that was all she was capable of at the moment.

As he revved the engine for takeoff, her hands curled into fists and her eyes closed, but not tightly enough to contain the tears that rolled down her cheeks. They lurched forward and hurtled down the runway before lifting off. A small squeak of surprise crept through her clenched jaw as she felt the plane gain altitude.

“We’ve
got this. It’s all good.”

His assurances went a long way toward calming her nerves. If she kept her eyes closed, she could almost convince herself she was home in bed, dreaming that her mother had called about her dad and Slim had offered to fly her to Philly. She could pretend that nothing had ever happened to ruin her love of travel and adventure.

As he’d predicted, the plane rocked
and rolled on the way through the clouds, but the warmth of his hand surrounding hers and the sound of his voice as he continued to reassure her worked to soothe her frayed nerves.

“Should get better now,” he said after about ten minutes.

That was the last thing she heard before he squeezed her hand, jarring her out of a deep sleep.

“There you are,” he said, smiling when she
looked over at him, blinking his handsome face into focus. “We’re going to land in fifteen minutes.”

Outside the window, the sky was pink and purple and orange, the colors of sunrise. “Did I really sleep the whole way?”

“You really did. But that’s for the best, don’t you think?”

“I did it,” she said softly. “I got on an airplane.”

“You didn’t just get on a plane. You
flew for more than an hour.”

“Does it count that I was in a medically induced coma for most of that time?” she asked, groggy and fuzzy from the medication.

“What counts is you overcame your fears, you didn’t freak out, and you got through it. Who cares how you did that? What counts is that you did it. I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m rather proud of myself right now.” She withdrew
her phone from her coat pocket to see if there was any word from her mother since she’d sent the hospital name and address. There’d been no calls or texts while she was asleep. Was that a good sign or a bad one?

“She would’ve called if it went bad,” Slim said, reading her mind.

“Would I receive the call up here?”

“Yeah, we’re within cell range.”

“Oh good,” she said,
expelling a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

“Hang in there. Won’t be long now.”

“Thank you,” she said, looking over at him. “I appreciate this so much.”

“I’m just glad I could do something for you.”

“You’ve done so much. You have no idea how much.”

“Every minute with you is a pleasure, Erin. From the minute I picked you up on the side of the road—”

“Stop
saying it like that! You make me sound like a hooker!”

Chuckling, he said, “You hooked me, all right. With your determination, your sweetness, your resilience, your humor. I’ve been hooked on you ever since that night, if you must know the truth.”

“That long?”

“Uh-huh.”

After that, there was no more conversation for a while as Slim focused on landing at Philadelphia
International Airport and Erin wallowed in the thrill of hearing he was hooked on her. As the wheels touched down, the tightness in Erin’s chest loosened somewhat. She’d managed to survive the flying portion of the program, which was a huge accomplishment. But she couldn’t celebrate that until she knew her father was going to be okay.

They taxied to an area of the tarmac where private planes
were kept. Slim secured the plane, talked to a guy about when they’d be back and had them heading for the cab stand—all in less than ten minutes.

“Have you flown in here before?” she asked while they waited in a short line for a cab.

“Twice.”

“So that’s how you knew where to go.”

“Yep.”

In the cab, Erin asked the driver to take them to the UPenn hospital on Spruce
Street. During the fifteen-minute drive, Slim held her hand between both of his, continuing to prop her up as he had since she received the upsetting call from her mother. At the hospital, they were directed to the surgical waiting area, where Erin found her mother, Mary Beth, and Aunt Sue huddled together. Her mother burst into tears when Erin and Slim walked in. She rushed over to hug Erin
and then Slim.

“How is he?” Erin asked.

“We’ve only heard that the surgery is going well, but that was more than an hour ago. What’re you doing here? I didn’t think you could get off the island.”

Erin glanced at Slim. “I have this friend who’s a pilot, you see.”

“Oh, Erin. Oh God,
you got on an airplane
?”

“I did.”

“And she did great,” Slim added.

“Thanks to the best pilot ever and medicinal intervention,” Erin said, offering him a small smile. She hugged her aunt and introduced her to Slim.

“Wait until Daddy hears you got on a plane,” Mary Beth said. “He won’t believe it.”

Her mother’s certainty that her dad would recover helped to reassure Erin. If her mom believed it, surely it must be true, right?