Desired (30 page)

“You can’t run from this and you can’t avoid what happened,” he replied with a soft voice. “You need to turn and face it. See that no one is going to fault you for this. You need to count on me to talk about it.”

“
I
don’t want to talk about it,” she growled, angry tears filling her eyes. How many times did she possibly have to say that? “I don’t need to talk about. I dealt with it, okay? For months I dealt with what it did to me. I have recovered from that. I don’t want to go back to that time in my life.”

Kyler didn’t move. Was he even breathing?

He finally said, “You must, Ella. It’s that simple.”

She wiped her tears, cursing those damn things trailing down her cheeks, and said through clenched teeth, “I don’t understand why you need to hear about what happened in the past.” She threw up her hand in frustration. “Why do you need to hear that I lost my parents? That it destroyed me for a long time. If it wasn’t for my grandparents, I would have been a fucking mess.”

Drawing in a deep breath, she attempted to control the shaking of her voice, but failed miserably. “Why does it matter that my grandparents died, leaving me with only Rory and his friends? Supposed friends who all turned their backs on me the moment I left Rory because I was in the wrong, even though he hurt me. That every fucking day I look in the mirror, my scar haunts me with memories that the man I loved threw me into a goddamn table. Why do I need to be reminded how fucked up my life is?”

Kyler’s eyes flared, but his voice remained gentle. “I want to hear all of that because it’s your life, Ella. It’s what has happened to you.”

“No, you don’t want to hear about all that,” she yelled her retort. “You don’t want to
know how much I’ve cried. How long I’ve felt alone. How broken I was and how hard it used to be just to wake up every morning.” Tears rushed down her cheeks as she shook her head. “Because when you do, you’ll change even more.”
Things between us will be worse than they are
.

He seemed surprised, straightening in his seat. “How have I changed?”

Good. Surprised is at least showing something
. “You refuse to touch me like you would other submissives. You treat me differently. Don’t deny it, I know you do. You see me as broken.”

Slowly, he rose from the chair, careful not to get too close. “It’s not because I don’t want to play with you like I have others, Ella. But I can’t ignore what you’ve been through.”

“Stop thinking about my past.” She glared, feeling all her pent-up frustration escaping her. “Stop treating me like I’m breakable. Stop treating me like I’m this helpless woman who can’t stand on her own two feet.”

“Ella,” he said in a low warning.

“What?” she snapped, loving that he shook slightly. Yes, she wanted him to express more than a stony look. “My past doesn’t concern me. It shouldn’t for you, either. Stop restraining yourself. I know you won’t hurt me. And I see what others do in the club. I know how you treated me that first night before you learned about Rory. With passion. Without regret. With pure desire.” She thrust her fingers into her hair and yanked. “I’m. Not. Fucking. Breakable.”

He took a step forward, his eyes blazing. “I never said you were, but I need you to be honest and open with me.” His expression darkened—cautious, but hinting at something much more passionate. Something that wasn’t controlled or worried about past abuse.

Something that screamed of possessive desire.

“I am being honest. I’m just not talking about shit that doesn’t matter. Stop walking on eggshells around me.” She heard the huskiness in her voice in response to his dominance. “I don’t need you to go around fixing everything. Okay, I’m grateful you got Rory to sign the documents, but that’s not what is important. I want you, Kyler. All of you. The real fucking you who doesn’t stare at me like I’m wounded.” She vibrated at his corded neck and at the flexing of his forearms. “If you can’t give me that, this will never work.”

He took another step, coming a bit closer. Something so very dominant crossed his features, tightening his expression and changing the color in his eyes to a darker blue. The air
between them became electricity charged. “What won’t work?”

“Us,” she shouted.

His eyes slowly narrowed. “Once, I will allow you to say that this won’t work between us. Only once.”

Her lips parted to respond, but he erased the distance, tugging her tight against the hard planes of his body. He dragged his fingers into her hair, then closed his fists in their strands. His eyes spoke of a yearning that went past sensual heat; they shone with the desire to own.

His voice was low, not controlled. “Here, in my hold, things are right. This is your home. No matter what is going on between us, when you are under my touch, you never doubt us.”

He tugged on her hair, slicing a fierce burn into her. She craved
this
. Desired him. Ached for
him
.

He added with a growly voice, “Here, you are safe. Here, nothing else matters.”

But is here honest and real?
her heart whispered.

Or was it an illusion of two people that held an incredible passion in the arms of each other, yet couldn’t find that perfect place to stand on to make a relationship out of it?

She needed him to stop living in her past.

He seemed permanently focused there.

Kyler drew in a sharp breath, then leaned down toward her, nose to nose. “No matter if we have things to work out or what we go through, you need to be strong in knowing that this is meant to be.”

Why can’t I agree?

In so many ways they were good together, but in other ways they were so wrong. He enjoyed adding pain to pleasure. He was a Dominant, desperate to control a woman. Hell, she wanted to experience all of that without restraints of concern. She ached to feel the leather of his flogger and the sharp bite of his palm.

She stared up at him, pinned in his arms. “But how can this work if you can’t let go of what happened with Rory? If you’re always thinking you need to fix a problem in my past? If you can’t see me for what I want? If you can’t see past all the pain?”

Kyler dropped his chin, his eyes in direct line with hers as he walked her backward. When her back met the wall, he stated, “Sweetheart, baiting a Dom is not suggested. I told you I would only hear that from your mouth once.” Then he crushed his lips on hers.

It was a hard, passionate kiss that spoke of anger and lust. And she melted. She followed his mouth, relishing in his lack of restraint. No hesitation. No worry. Just a man kissing a woman in a way that proved he owned her—that she belonged only to him, always to him.

He nipped at her mouth. “Mine, Ella.”

She gasped, pulled by the pain on her lip as he bit harder. Her body flared in acceptance, pooling heat into her loins. Moisture coated her lower lips in an instant want for him to claim her.

“Mine,” he growled, snaking his hands into her housecoat and opening it before he lowered it off her shoulders. He nudged her head to the side, nipping at her neck. Then he backed away, removing his shirt in that fast way men did, and his mouth was right back on her.

He pinned her to the wall as their openmouthed kisses only became hotter as tongues clashed together with his growl of dominance. He left her no room to move, no choice but to accept his bites.

She reached for his belt and had his jeans open a second later, sending them pooling at his feet. With rough touches she had yearned for, he grabbed her thigh, looking to her. Reckless, passionate eyes stared back at her, sending a hot shiver through her.

His gaze burned as he slid his hand over her bottom. His mouth sealed over hers in a kiss that she couldn’t run from. A kiss that measured up to no other. One that had said Kyler had been holding back. Now he’d been pushed too far. His touch wasn’t careful. It was messy, forceful, demanding.

She soared under his erotic assault.

Bringing her bottom lip between his teeth, he gave a fierce bite. Then his hard gaze lifted to hers and he growled, “Say it, and by God, mean it.”

Under his force, his stare, his unleashed power, she accepted what he had said—this was right, no matter the issues between them. Now he owned her. Possessed her. Cared for her. She belonged to him. And even if this lasted for only this moment, she knew she’d forever search to have him looking at her this way again.

“I’m yours, Kyler,” she rasped.

His eyes blazed with his dark grin. “You’re damn right you are.”

Hot and hard, Kyler gripped Ella’s hair, pinning her where he wanted her. He hooked her leg onto his arm and his hands bracketed her ass; her petite body pressed tight against his.
Threatened
. Last night,
his
woman had been afraid. And she fucking tried to do what she did all the time when she confronted hard times, push him away. He might be considerate of a lot, but that was one thing he would never allow. She could be mad. She could be fearful and fighting against what he needed from her, but those words to him sent his world crashing around him.

He could not endure a life without Ella.

All his dominance, his possessiveness, and his desire unleashed in a way he could not control. It was one thing to worry of the future and to struggle as they found their way. It was another thing to tell him that the woman he found to love was having thoughts of walking away from him.

Sliding his nose across her warm neck, he inhaled her sweet scent. She remained still under his touch. She acted like a woman unsure of her steps, and submissive, like a woman craving to let go.

“All mine, Ella.” He licked up her sweaty flesh on her neck, enjoying the salty taste. “Your skin is mine to touch.” He inhaled by her ear, nipping at the lobe. “Your scent is mine to drawn in. Your body is mine to enjoy.”

“Yes.” She gasped. “Yours.”

He bit into the skin on her neck, keeping her motionless beneath him. Lust and dominance had him shifting his hips and sliding his cock into her slick heat, soaked with arousal. Consumed by the masculine need of having his woman threatened, he thrust into her, pumping his hips fast and hard. Loud gasps echoed from her mouth as she arched into each eager stroke.

He didn’t hold back, as he wasn’t capable of restraining all the emotion that had been battling inside him. Every stroke banged his pelvis against her clit. Each hard thrust took her higher. Her soaked cunt squeezed at his cock with his ruthless strokes. Her hooded eyes held his, so dark in desire. Submission brushed across her features as she remained still, taking all of him inside her.

Accepting all he gave her.

“You are mine to protect when you’re in need,” he growled, grasping her damp hair tight in his fist. “Mine to make sure you never feel alone again. Mine to care for when I know you need to be loved.” Pleasure swept across him, increasing the speed of his thrusts. “Mine to
pleasure when I want.”

“Yes,” she screamed, pulling against his touch attempting to angle her head.

He gripped the strands of her hair, not being careful. This lesson would not be given with words. He forced her where he wanted her, looking him right in the eye.
Always looking at him
. “You will watch me take what is mine, Ella.”

Pumping his hips, heat burned up his spine, drawing his climax, increasing the force of his thrusts.
Faster. Deeper
. He stared down into her pretty face as she accepted his dominance. His muscles ached, holding her in position, sweat coating his flesh as skin slapped against skin. The sucking sounds of their lovemaking rang out in his ears as her hot cunt saturated his shaft.

Her soft breasts pressed against him, her puckered nipples scraping over his skin. His cock ached, throbbing with each squeeze of her inner walls. He craved to blow inside her, leave his seed right there in her for her body to know that she belonged to him.

As her eyes widened and her inner muscles convulsed with the rise of her climax, his balls drew up. Heat and tingles rushed down his spine, and his muscles flexed as the power of his release overtook him.

Then his world broke apart, as did hers.

With a roar, they came together, in a pure release of pent-up emotion they’d been drowning in. Sweat and the scent of sex was all that remained, as was the understanding that in they had each other.

He bucked and jerked as his cum shot deep inside her. Each pulse pulled at something in his soul.
This
woman was his all. He quivered as his body drained of energy, and he fought against the loss of strength.

As she trembled, whimpering in his arms, he rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. “Doubt will break us.” He forced himself to look at her, finding tears in her eyes. Not of sadness, but soft, happy eyes. He cupped her cheeks, bringing his mouth close to hers. “Don’t allow anything to break us.”

A single tear slid down her cheek. “Not being ourselves will break us, too. I don’t want you to see me as broken, Kyler. I need you to let go of my past. I’ve moved on, and I want you to as well.”

He sighed, unhooking her leg from his arm. He left her pinned to the wall, unable to break free from her. He needed her close. Always in his arms. “I’m trying to find a way through
all this. But I simply cannot forget what has happened to you. Please don’t ask me to turn a blind eye to something this important.”