Desire's Edge (30 page)
Dante nodded. “You’re right.”
“I hope so. Lord knows I fucked up with Dylan. But I’m learning. She tells me I am, anyway.”
That made Dante smile. A little. He couldn’t help it. Alec Walker was not a man who let anyone tell him anything. Not until Dylan.
Dante was the same way. But he wanted to give this thing with Kara a try. He’d give it a few days, as Alec suggested. And if it meant he had to hear a good ration of shit about his behavior, he knew he deserved it. He would take it. And meanwhile, he’d try to breathe a little. To let Kara breathe.
“Sounds like a good plan,” he told Alec. “Thanks.”
“Sure. Want me to hang out, maybe watch the sports wrap-up with you?”
“That’s all right. I can tell you want to get back to Dylan.”
“You can tell?” Alec looked a little shocked.
“It’s clear as day, Alec.”
“Well, hell.”
“No, it’s a good thing. I’m glad to see you happy.”
Alec nodded, smiled. “I’d like to see you happy, too.”
“I wouldn’t mind that.”
Alec stood, tossed a few twenties on the bar. “Stay and drink some more if you like.”
“I might do that.”
“And let me know how it goes.”
“I will. And, Alec. Thanks.”
“Sure.”
Alec left before anything more needed to be said.
sixteen
It was Thursday morning, which meant it was donut day at the office—her employers’ idea of keeping up company morale toward the end of each week. Not that Kara could imagine swallowing anything more than the tea she’d been living on all week long.
She’d called in sick on Monday, too worn and weepy still to come in. By Tuesday she’d pulled herself together enough to get to the office, and was glad to find that Dante was in court all day. The same on Wednesday. Maybe today she’d be as lucky. She wasn’t up to facing him yet. She wasn’t sure she ever would be.
That’s what you get for becoming involved with someone at work . . .
She sighed quietly as the elevator pinged and she stepped off, into the main lobby of her firm. The receptionist greeted her, and she nodded a greeting to several of her coworkers as she made her way warily down the hall to her office. Ruby, the secretary she shared with several other attorneys—including Dante—followed her in as Kara was pulling off her coat.
“Hey, Kara, the big three have called a meeting this morning. Everyone who’s not in court today has to show up.”
“Oh. How long do I have?” She glanced at her watch, wondering if she could find some excuse to skip it.
Would Dante be there? Would he be in court again? Didn’t she have something urgent to do?
“They’ve called it for a quarter after eight, so about fifteen minutes. Want a donut? I saved one of the maple bars you like.”
Her stomach churned. “Thanks, Ruby. That’s so sweet of you, but I’m . . . trying to cut down on sugar.”
“I should do the same, but I’ve already had two jelly donuts.” Ruby flashed her a grin. “See you in the conference room in a few minutes.”
“Thanks, Ruby.”
God, would he be there? She didn’t think she could stand it.
She pulled in a deep breath, let it out slowly, trying to remember the calming breathing routines she’d learned in her yoga classes. But her pulse was racing. There was nothing she could do about it; she had to go to the meeting. She would simply have to deal with it.
Where had all her strength gone? She used to be so strong, so together.
She shook her head as she pushed her purse and her briefcase under her desk, turned her computer on and waited for it to boot up. And sighed as she realized she was hoping to find a message from Dante in her in-box.
He hadn’t tried to reach her since she’d left his house last Sunday. She knew he’d had a heavy court schedule all week, but surely he would have called or e-mailed her—texted, even—if he’d wanted to talk to her?
Which meant he didn’t.
Not that she wanted to talk to him. She was still angry. Still torn apart. Wanting—
needing
—to see him so badly it made her
skin
hurt. She hated that.
needing
—to see him so badly it made her
skin
hurt. She hated that.
Get it together.
She glanced at her watch once more. Time to go to the meeting. She took a few more long breaths, which did little to calm her, and stood up. Feeling chilled, she pulled on the sweater she’d taken to leaving on the back of her office chair this week. She was always cold lately. She had been ever since she’d left Dante, looking shocked and tight-lipped at his place last Sunday.
Naked and beautiful and something lurking in his eyes that could have been pain . . .
Don’t think of it now. Just get through the day
.
.
She came into the hall and Ruby was there, smiling at her at first. Then her smile faded.
“Jeez, Kara, you’re as white as a sheet. Are you okay?”
“Maybe I haven’t completely recovered from the bug I had on Monday.”
“Maybe . . .” Ruby said, one eyebrow raised.
“What?” Kara asked defensively.
Ruby stared straight ahead as they moved down the hall. “Nothing. Maybe. Except that Dante De Matteo has had that same look on his face every morning before he leaves for court. And I know it’s not his case he’s concerned about.”
“Ruby . . .”
“It’s okay, Kara. I won’t say a word to anyone. But I work for both of you, so I see things . . .”
Kara sighed. “And?”
“Well, it’s obvious something is going on. I know it’s none of my business.” She stopped, shook her head. “I’m sorry. I should have just kept my mouth shut. It’s just that I really like you. I admire you. And I hate to see you looking so . . . tired. So beat down.”
Kara had to swallow hard against the tears burning behind her eyes. She sniffed. “It’s okay, Ruby.”
“Oh, hell, now I’ve done it. I really am sorry.” Ruby laid a hand on Kara’s arm.
“It’s okay. Really it is. It’s just . . . having anyone show any sympathy kind of brings it to the surface. I haven’t even talked to my best friend about it for that reason.”
“I’ll zip my mouth now, I promise. But . . . let me know if you need anything, okay?”
Kara nodded.
“Why don’t you take a moment in the ladies’ room before the meeting? I’ll cover for you.”
“Thanks, Ruby. I might do that. And, Ruby . . . do you know if Dante is here today, or if he’s back in court?”
“I’m not sure. I didn’t have a chance to look at the schedule before I got the memo from Mr. Kelleher, and I’ve been running around ever since. Do you want me to find out and let you know before you get to the meeting?”
“No, I don’t think there’s time. Anyway, either he’ll be there or he won’t. And I just need to . . . handle things, don’t I?”
“Okay. See you in there.”
Ruby gave her arm another squeeze before she left her in the hall.
Kara made her way quickly to the restroom, where she washed her hands, letting the warm water soothe her. She knew she couldn’t stay for long, but she was glad to have a moment to catch her breath.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She
was
a little pale. She patted her cheeks, hoping to bring some color into them, then shrugged. There wasn’t much she could do. She had to go.
was
a little pale. She patted her cheeks, hoping to bring some color into them, then shrugged. There wasn’t much she could do. She had to go.
The meeting room was crowded, most of the firm’s staff packed in there, shoulder to shoulder around the big conference table, the administrative staff and clerks standing around the perimeter. The table was full, so Kara went to stand next to Ruby, who gave her a small, encouraging smile.
Charles Landers was standing at the front of the room, nodding and smiling. After a moment he was joined by Lyle Kelleher, then by Edward Tate. They were all three, as always, perfectly put together, elegant and cool, with their dark suits and colorful power ties, their varying shades of silver hair.
Lyle Kelleher cleared his throat, and Kara looked around with some relief. Dante wasn’t there.
“We have an announcement today that is both happy and sad,” Mr. Kelleher said. He gestured to one of the attorneys who was seated at the big table. “Julie Dillard is leaving us next month, I’m afraid. But she leaves us for good reason. Julie will be moving to Washington, DC. She’s been a hard worker, and it has been our pleasure to have had her with us since she graduated law school, first as a law clerk, then as a practicing attorney. We’d like to thank you, Julie, for everything you’ve given to this firm, and to wish you well in your endeavors.”
Everyone applauded and Julie, a petite brunette, nodded and smiled.
“Julie, are you going to practice in DC?” someone asked.
“Actually, I’m going there to get married. And . . . I’m going to open an antiques store, something I’ve dreamed about for years. I’ve already found my store space.”
There was another round of applause.
“Don’t everyone get so excited about the prospect of her giving up the noble practice of law,” Charles Landers protested, his blue eyes twinkling with mock indignation.
Kara’s heart surged. She was happy for Julie, she truly was. But she was also filled with envy. Julie was going off to find her happiness: marriage, her own business. She was pursuing her dreams.
She was daring to.
At that moment Dante slipped into the crowded room. Kara caught his eye. She hadn’t meant to. But as always, she was instantly drawn to him. He started to smile, stopped himself. And she was shocked at how much it hurt, simply being in the same room with him. That he couldn’t even smile at her. That she was physically unable to smile at him.
Ruby gave her wrist a quick squeeze, and she was grateful for that small show of support.
The rest of the brief meeting went by in a blur as Kara tried not to look at him. But she
knew
he was there. Felt it down in her bones.
knew
he was there. Felt it down in her bones.
Dante.
Just keep breathing. Get through this
.
.
Finally it was over, and everyone shuffled out the door. Unfortunately, one of the other attorneys needed Ruby for something, so Kara was on her own, praying Dante would leave the room before she had to face him.
She watched as he slipped out the door, and was relieved. She followed her coworkers into the hallway, where everyone split off, going to their own offices. She’d just made it to her office door when Dante appeared beside her.
“Kara, can we talk?”
She felt like she’d been sucker punched. Even hearing his voice was too much for her. She couldn’t stand the heat of his body beside her, the scent of him.
“I’d rather not,” she answered tightly.
“I understand,” he said, keeping his tone low. “But we work in the same building, so it’s going to happen sooner or later.”
She took in a long breath. “I know that.”
He was quiet a moment. She turned to look at him.
Oh, that was a mistake. He was too damned handsome in his silvery-gray suit, his darker gray shirt and charcoal tie. Sophisticated. She remembered how she’d felt the first moment she’d seen him. Just . . . bowled over. She was no less bowled over now.
She had to remember her anger. The hurt that went with it. “Can we go into your office?” he asked.
“You can say whatever you need to say concerning work right here.”
“Come on, Kara. This is not concerning work. Not really.”
God, she did not want to do this. Did not want to talk to him.
“Dante, I can’t talk with you here. I can’t do it. I don’t think it’s a good idea and . . . I just can’t.”
“Where, then?”
She shook her head, keeping her eyes glued to the floor. “Nowhere, Dante. Because that’s where the conversation will go. That’s where we’re going, isn’t it?”
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