Desperate Thoughts: The Gift (3 page)

David smiled, then began to cough, Victoria handed him a cup of water and he took a sip. She looked to be ready to cry as he continued, "You deserve to be pampered and pleased. I know you enjoy pleasing others, so uh...Don’t stop just because I’m gone. Remember me and use this if you want, but don’t stop living."

Victoria lifted the lid on the box and inside was a red velvet pouch. Upon pulling it out, she felt something hard, yet oddly familiar inside. She grinned at him as she opened the pouch and removed the lifelike replica of his erect penis, in all its glory, complete with every detail of him. She studied it carefully and her face lit up. "I love it. It’s my second favorite part of you."

"What’s your first?"

"Your eyes. No, wait…it’s probably a tie for first place between the—"

"Shut up," he joked.

She looked at his face and tried to keep her emotions in check then looked at the gift again. "It looks like an exact replica. How did you make this?"

"There’s a kit you buy, but I had to take a Viagra since you either need two people or a boner that just won’t quit. I wanted to make it a surprise and I didn’t really feel comfortable asking my brother for help."

Victoria laughed as David continued, "You’ve got to stay hard while you mix up this powder and then you only have a few seconds to get IT…into the mold."

Studying it from all angles, she smiled. She ran a finger along the large vein that ran on the right side as she said, "It does look just like you. It even has that huge vein."

"I know. It's really amazing stuff." He gave her a cocky grin. "You can use it if you want, but please don’t just lock yourself away…you know. Wherever I’m going, I’ll be miserable if you don’t start having fun again. My memory will live on only if you do."

Victoria looked at him again. "When did you do this?"

"As soon as I found out what I had. I knew it was aggressive and I might not be able to…anymore. So I made it a few months ago. I’m so sorry that we haven’t been able to make love, since…"

Victoria curled up to him in bed. "Don’t worry about it. I love just being with you. I can’t believe you are being taken from me."

She began to cry and he gently guided her face up until she looked him in the eye. Then he said, "Promise me."

"Can I have some time to grieve before I start going crazy?" she asked jokingly while wiping her tears.

"Sure, but promise me you’ll go on without me and enjoy yourself again. Don’t wait forever."

She smiled weakly. "I promise."

There was a knock at the door. Victoria slipped the replica into the velvet pouch as the door opened and a doctor and nurse came into the room. The doctor said, "We need to take him down for some tests, but we’ll be back in twenty minutes or so."

Victoria nodded, slipped the pouch into the box and watched as they wheeled David out of the room.

A tear fell from Victoria's eye as she lay on her pillow looking up to the replica. She’d been unable to use it to masturbate. She never even tried once. She just felt that it wasn’t the right thing to do. She loved having a part of him; she brought it out every night and planted a tiny kiss on the tip just before bed. She feared that she might break it or wear it out if she used it. It was ridiculous, but it was just how she felt. And since it was the only piece of him that she still had, she wanted to protect it. Every night, she would put it back in the pouch and the pouch in the box and the box in the fireproof safe just in case there was a fire or some other disaster. If anything happened to her only remaining link to David, Victoria felt that she could not go on living.

Closing her eyes, she began thinking about the movie theater and how she had Greg’s cock in her mouth. She did not intend to go that far, but when she saw it in the pale movie light, she realized how much she missed the feel of one. She paused for a moment, thinking, then her eyes shot wide open with a revelation. She wanted to do this for David. To give the gift to other young, insecure men, which had been so generously given to him by that anonymous woman. If that woman had not done it for David, Victoria felt that he may never have asked her out and they may never have even met. She began pondering how she could give something back and share her gifts. How she could honor David. How he wanted her to go on living. This, she thought, was a perfect way to do it.

But she needed a safer way. Victoria realized she knew nothing about this young man today. She didn’t know if Greg was really eighteen or could he have been younger? And could he have been lying about being a virgin? She didn’t make him wear a condom, and she vowed to never let that happen again.

She would come up with a way to find young men deserving of her gift and she would invite them to her house. There, they would have privacy; she could really please them and enjoy their hard cocks. Victoria didn’t want to be handing out random blowjobs and handjobs in dirty darkened theaters. She would do it right. She desperately wanted to feel a penis completely filling her pussy again, but she knew that she would not allow that, not until she was ready.

The next day, Victoria walked around the college campus and saw many men she felt were in desperate need of assistance. The criteria she looked for was virgin or what she considered near-virgin, short haircut, nerdy/shy/intelligent looking, but with that glimmer of a hot guy underneath. Not a guy beyond hope, just a guy with promise who needed help – a lot of help. Also, to be eligible, the guy had to be trim, clean cut, and definitely a freshman just as David had been. Victoria also preferred a guy with glasses. She was looking for young men who closely matched the college picture of David, which she still held in her wallet. The more they reminded her of David, the more she felt it would be like she was back with him again. She knew the type and had seen plenty around campus already. As she walked, Victoria wondered how she could pull it off. She needed to find a way to have the young men answer a number of questions honestly.

Sitting on a bench near the library, she thought as she stared out at the huge grass open area. Minutes later, as she glanced at a female student writing notes in a pad, a bright smile crossed her face and she walked quickly back to her house with purpose.

She had done some writing in college and hatched a plan to interview her candidates for a supposed article for an Internet women’s magazine. After shopping for some needed items, she returned home, and finalized the details. She made a list of the interview questions she would ask. Once she narrowed it down, she went to her computer and created an official looking form with the questions and a column for each answer. She printed it out, attached the form to a clipboard, laid out her clothes and then struggled to get to sleep.

The next day, Victoria put her hair up in a tight bun and traded her contacts for a pair of glasses. She wore a supertight blouse and short skirt with no panties underneath. She looked like a cross between a high-powered journalist and a high-class hooker. She scouted out the library for a private location where she could hold her interviews. She was able to find an area in a section of obscure old books on the third floor of the building. She located an alcove between a large shelf and a wall where two comfortable old chairs faced each other. For fifteen minutes, she sat there thinking and never saw another person. It was perfect and she nodded, satisfied, then returned to the first floor.

Sitting in the lobby of the library, she waited for the right guy. Any man who looked at her too long was definitely out, no matter how much he fit the other criteria. If he was bold enough to stare at her, he was far too confident or unworthy to qualify. When she spotted a possible candidate, she approached and began a conversation. The young men would normally look at her in shock. The ones who didn’t, usually didn’t make it through the first thirty seconds.

Ethan Listwood was not one of the young men that she approached that day. He was a twenty-one year old senior who wore his hair long and was neither the virgin nor the near-virgin that Victoria was after. It wasn’t that he was a stud; he just was lucky enough to have a few adventuresome girlfriends during his short dating life. Ethan worked at the library part-time, and he spotted Victoria as soon as she walked into the lobby that day. He watched her closely in between answering the questions of random students as he sat behind the counter. The sexily dressed, somewhat older, woman looked like a ten thousand dollar a night call girl to him, but he knew that could not be the case. A college library full of dirt-poor students would be no place for such a woman. Ethan watched as the woman eyed only the shy nerdy looking guys.

Ethan watched as she approached and spoke with a few of the nerdy guys and after a few questions, she would thank them and then turn away. Then, he saw the woman eyeing one student up and down. Her lips were parted and Ethan watched her, intrigued, as she rushed to the young man and began speaking to him. Only when Ethan was forced to address the question of a pesky student did he look away.

Victoria stood in front of the young man. "Hello, I’m writing an article for an online women’s magazine." The young man looked at her, shocked and embarrassed.

"Are you a freshmen?"

"Yes."

"Are you eighteen?" she asked.

"Yes, my birthday was last week."

"Oh, happy birthday," she said smiling. Then, Victoria leaned in to him exposing even more of her cleavage as she whispered sexily, "Would you be interested in answering a number of explicit sexual questions? I assure you that your responses would be kept confidential."

The young man said yes twice, once just after the phrase ‘Would you be interested’ then again when Victoria finished the question.

When Ethan glanced back, he watched as the nerdy guy followed Victoria up the stairs. After quickly referring the student he was assisting to another worker, he took off after them. He rushed up the steps, stopped, and watched the pair as they headed up the second flight to the third floor. He waited there for a moment, then headed up after them. When he reached the top of the steps, he watched as the improbable couple turned to the right and headed to the far corner of the building. Slipping behind a shelf, he watched as the woman led the young guy to an area of the building known to students as
fucker’s lane
. It was the only place in the library that had anywhere near the amount of privacy necessary to pull off a quick sex act.

Ethan thought that it was so widely known now that no one would be bold enough to go there in the middle of the day. He also knew of a back way through the ancient old building which led to the perfect spot from which to spy on
fucker’s lane
. He rushed that way, but it would be almost a minute before he reached them and he didn’t want to miss a thing.

Holding her clipboard as she sat across from the young man in her perfectly secluded spot, Victoria smiled. "Again, I want to assure you that this conversation will be completely confidential."

The shy young man nodded and swallowed hard.

"Also, I demand complete honesty. If I feel you are holding back or lying, the interview will be over. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"First, I need to see ID. Just need to verify that you are eighteen."

Without hesitating, the young man simply pulled out his wallet and handed it over. After checking his name and birth date, she handed the ID back. She smiled at him and wrote his first name down in the column on the form. She turned the form to him. "See, Scott, only first names."

Scott smiled uncomfortably.

Ethan reached the watch location and silently kneeled down in the darkened area behind the bookcase just as the woman asked, "How many women have you had sex with?"

He could clearly hear everything they were saying and he could see the back of the guy’s head and the front of the gorgeous woman. He could see all of her cleavage and most of her sexy legs. Exhaling deeply, he wished he were the guy with the front row seat.

Scott paused, thinking, then replied, "Ten."

Victoria narrowed her eyes and Scott looked down to the floor then back at her nervously.

"Scott, remember, there are no right or wrong answers here. No one is going to judge you. You are a young man, not Charlie Sheen, so if you're less experienced than that, fine. And again if I feel you are not being completely honest with me, this will be over."

She was thinking to herself that there were, in fact, right and wrong answers here and ten was definitely a wrong answer. She knew he was lying. Ten women; sure he was an okay looking young man, but unless he’d been to the Bunny Ranch nine times, he was probably stretching the truth a whole lot.