Destination Wedding ~ A Novel (17 page)

Jim came up beside her. "I'm sorry I made you angry. It wasn't my intention."

Claire turned to him, tears streaming down her face.

Jim's eyes grew concerned. "Everything's going to be okay, Claire. Please, don't cry."

Without a word, Claire ran from the patio, through the breezeway, and down the walkway to the deserted pool area. She discarded her heels and ran down the steps to the beach, dropping onto her knees in the sand in tears.

Jim followed her and found her crying on the beach. The tide had come in and the sand around them was wet. He fell down on his knees beside Claire.

"Please don't cry. Please. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. I just can't bear to see you cry," Jim pleaded.

Claire lifted her head and looked mournfully at Jim. "Did you ever love me? Ever? Or was our marriage always a lie?"

Jim pulled back, stunned. He hadn't expected to be hit with a question like this. "Of course, I loved you," he said tenderly. "How can you ask such a question?"

Claire locked eyes with him. "Tell me the truth, Jim. Please, just tell me the truth. If I hadn't been pregnant with Mandy, would you have ever married me?"

Jim stared at Claire in utter shock. He took a breath, but no words came out.

Claire dropped her head in her hands and wept. All those years they were married she had believed that Jim loved her, but she'd been wrong. How could she not have known?

The ocean breeze whipped around them as the damp sand seeped through their clothes. Claire shivered as she cried. Jim slipped his jacket around her shoulders, helped her up, and led her to the wooden stairs. She sat, pulling his jacket tightly around her.

"Claire, dear, you didn't give me a chance to answer your question. Look at me. Please. Look at me."

Claire slowly raised her head and looked at Jim through tear filled eyes.

"Six months before you found out you were pregnant, we were pregnant, I had purchased your engagement ring. I had planned on giving it to you that summer. I figured since I was graduating that spring and you had another year of college left, we could be engaged for a year and then marry after you graduated. I had it all planned out," Jim said tenderly.

Claire wiped her eyes with her hand and sniffed. "You did?" she asked.

Jim nodded. "I loved you, Claire. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. It didn’t matter that we ended up getting married earlier than I'd planned. I wanted to marry you. I wanted Mandy." Jim brushed a stray strand of hair out of Claire's eyes and behind her ear. He looked at her tenderly. "You and Mandy are the best things that ever happened to me."

"Then why?" Claire asked sorrowfully. "Why was it so easy for you to leave me?"

Jim's shoulders slouched and he dropped his head, shaking it slowly. "I don't have a good answer for you, Claire. I was stupid. I was confused. I was a man looking for his youth again. No excuse will be a good enough reason, because I was wrong in leaving you. Believe me, if I had it to do all over again, I'd chose you in a heartbeat. I'm sorry, Claire. I'll say it a thousand times if I have to in order to convince you. I'm sorry."

Claire wiped her eyes again and pushed her hair away from her face. She looked over at Jim. "Then why did you say that stupid thing at dinner tonight about women wanting to get married, but men didn't? It was a terrible thing to say the night before Mandy's wedding. And you made me feel like you never really wanted to marry me."

"Yeah. It was a stupid thing to say," Jim said regretfully. "I was only kidding, like men do about marriage. I shouldn't have, though. I hope Mandy knew I was kidding."

"It wasn't funny," Claire said.

"No, it wasn't," Jim agreed. He looked at Claire seriously. "But it was not directed at you. Believe me when I say that. I loved being married to you."

"Just not enough to stay," Claire said softly.

Jim sighed. "I'm sorry, Claire. Tell me what I can do to make you believe how sorry I am."

It was Claire's turn to sigh. "I'm tired of arguing. I'm tired of being angry, and I'm tired of apologies. Maybe we can just let it go for the rest of the trip. Do what Mandy said. Just get along." Claire gave Jim a small smile. "I liked it better when we were getting along. It was more fun."

Jim smiled back. "Me, too. We'll just enjoy the next two days and throw all the negativity to the wind. Sound like a plan?"

"Yes. It sounds like a good plan," Claire agreed.

Jim stood and offered Claire his hand. She took it, and he pulled her up. They walked side by side up the wooden stairs to the pool area where Claire retrieved her shoes, then walked the rest of the way to their room.

The entire lodge was quiet, bedded down for the night. Few lights were still on, and even the twinkle lights on the patio had been turned off. They seemed to be the only two people still awake on the entire island.

As Jim opened the door, Claire spoke up. "You realize you aren't completely off the hook yet, right?"

"Yep."

Claire grinned. "And you're back to sleeping on your cot again."

"Yep. Kind of figured that, too."

They went to bed that night in their appointed beds, exhausted from the long day and emotional night. Claire lay awake only for a short time, her mind replaying everything Jim had said to her. She fell asleep, no longer angry and resentful, but instead feeling at peace with their truce and hoping they could just let go of the hurt between them once and for all.

Chapter Fourteen

Claire awoke the next morning feeling refreshed. The sun shone through the patio door and the sky was a clear baby blue with white, puffy clouds. This was the day. It was her daughter's wedding day.

She slipped out of bed and looked over at the cot. Jim lay on his side, facing her, sleeping. His hair was mussed, but he still looked damned handsome. He always had with his chiseled features and deep blue eyes. And he had lashes any woman would kill for. Claire sighed. It had always been hard being mad at him for very long, because he was just too cute for his own good.

Quietly, she took out a T-shirt and shorts from her suitcase and headed to the bathroom to shower. She was going to have breakfast, then be off to Mandy's cottage to help her get ready for the wedding.

When Claire came out of the bathroom, Jim was already awake and sitting on her bed, looking at his phone. He looked up at Claire and smiled. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she replied. "Sleep well?"

"Don't even ask," Jim said, chuckling. "Today's the big day. Tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it."

"Well, if you want to join me for breakfast, you'll have to get ready soon. I have to be at Mandy's cottage by one o'clock to help her get ready, and so I can get dressed, too.

"Aye, Aye, Captain," Jim said, saluting her. He got up and went into the bathroom.

Claire laughed at his silliness. She started packing a small bag with the things she'd need to get ready for the wedding this afternoon. She hung her dress on the closet door so she wouldn't forget it. She wanted to be calm and organized about everything, because there was so much to remember.

After getting everything ready, Claire went out to sit on the patio and enjoy the ocean view. She wanted to take this moment to relax and prepare for the day ahead. Even though she'd known this day was coming, she still had to face the fact that her only daughter, her only child, was getting married. Marriage wasn't the same thing as dating someone. It wasn't the same as living with someone. Marriage meant they'd make a commitment to one another which would, hopefully, last throughout their lives.

As Claire sat there reflecting, her phone buzzed on the nightstand. She went inside and looked at it. Steven's name popped up. Claire sighed. Walking outside again onto the patio, she answered the phone. "Hello, Steven."

"Hi, Claire. I know you're going to be busy today and that these phone calls cost a fortune but I just had to call and wish Mandy and Craig all the best on their wedding day."

Claire smiled. Steven was always so thoughtful. "That's very sweet of you, Steven. I'll tell them that you sent them your congratulations."

"Did you get my text? I'm so sorry that I pushed you about the house," Steven said, sounding remorseful.  

"Yes, I did get your text and I appreciate the apology. Thank you for understanding."

"Well, we can talk more about it when you get back. Only two more days and you'll be coming home. I'm looking forward to it," Steven said cheerfully.

Claire looked out at the beautiful aqua-blue ocean in the distance, the waves breaking softly on the beach in a mass of white foam. She looked around her, at the brightly painted buildings, the inviting pool, and the lush greenery that grew everywhere on the island. She turned and looked at the colorful room, and her eyes landed on Jim's cot. She couldn't honestly say she was excited to go home yet.

"Claire, are you still there?" Steven asked.

"Yes, I'm here," Claire said. "I'd better go. There's a lot to do today. I'll see you when I get back."

"Sounds good. Oh, and tell the happy couple that if they are thinking about buying a house after they're married, call me. I have plenty of great starter homes listed right now," Steven said.

Claire frowned.
Was that a sales pitch?

"Goodbye, Claire. Have a wonderful day."

Claire said goodbye and turned off the phone. She walked back inside the room and sat down on the bed, thinking about their conversation. Steven hadn't said he loved her or missed her. Actually, Steven had never said he loved her, even when he'd proposed to her. All he'd said was that they'd make a great partnership together, and that they would have a wonderful companionship as they grew older. Claire frowned. But what about love? She wanted to be with a man who loved her. She wanted a relationship with passion. Claire couldn't believe she was thinking it, but she wanted a relationship like the one she'd had with Jim, before he left her.

Jim came out of the bathroom and looked over at Claire. "Oh, oh. What did I do now?"

Claire looked up. "What?"

"The frown on your face. And you're biting you lip. You only do that because of something I said or did."

Claire burst out laughing. "You didn't do anything, yet," she said.

Jim dramatically brushed his brow with the back of hand. "Whew. That's good to hear," he joked. "So, who put that frown on your face?"

Claire decided not to let her own worries tarnish this special day. "It's nothing," she said. "Don’t worry about it. Let's go down and have breakfast. We have a long day ahead of us."

***

Claire was right, it was a long, busy day. At breakfast, some of the wedding party asked what time they should be ready and where they should wait. Claire advised them to meet down by the pool until a few minutes before the wedding started, then go wait by the arch. Kaylie had already eaten breakfast and had gone to Mandy's cottage. Craig was spending the day with his parents and getting dressed in their room.

Sandra met up with Claire after breakfast and informed her that the photographer had arrived and would meet them at the wedding spot near the beach a half hour before the ceremony. She also said the florist had delivered the flowers to Mandy's cottage and was decorating the arch as that very moment. Aneese stopped Claire on her way up to the room to say the cake had arrived and was in the restaurant refrigerator. Claire's mind was in a whirl as she grabbed her bag and dress to go to the cottage.

"What time do you want me to be ready and at the cottage?" Jim asked her before she left the room.

"Fifteen minutes before the ceremony should be good enough. I'll send Kaylie out with all the men's flowers so you can put them on ahead of time. Would you keep your eyes open for the Officiant and the photographer, too?"

Jim nodded. "You're so good at all of this," he said. "Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with."

Claire stood there with her bag in one hand and her dress folded over her other arm. She looked at Jim, and it all hit her suddenly. Her eyes filled with tears.

Jim walked over to stand directly in front of her. "What's the matter? You were so happy a second ago."

Claire set down the bag and laid the dress on the bed so she could wipe her eyes. "This is it, Jim," she said. "Our little girl is getting married today."

"Oh, sweetie," Jim said, folding Claire into his arms. He held her tight.

Claire tried hard not to cry, but it was a battle she was losing.

"I know. It's hard to believe," Jim said soothingly.

They stood there holding each other for a long time. Finally, Claire pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

Jim smiled sweetly and shook his head. "No. I think you're wonderful."

Claire felt a blush rise in her cheeks. The look on Jim's face had been so kind, so endearing, it made her heart swell with affection for him.

"Well, I'd better go," she said, picking up her bag and dress.

Jim followed her to the door. As she stepped outside, he said, "Claire?"

She turned around and looked at him.

Jim hesitated, then smiled. "I'll see you in a little while."

Claire nodded and walked down the stairs. For a moment, she thought he was going to say "I love you." It just seemed like such a natural thing for him to tell her. But he hadn't said it after all. And for some reason that Claire couldn't even fathom, she was disappointed he hadn't.

Claire walked down to the cottage, but detoured first past the spot where the wedding was to take place to see how the arch had turned out. They had originally wanted the wedding down on the beach, but when they realized that the tide would be high at the time of the ceremony, they'd decided to change the location. So the arch was placed at the end of a narrow, brick path that led to the top of the dune that overlooked the beach. The walkway was perfect for Jim to walk Mandy down the aisle, and the palm trees around the arch would add to the backdrop in the wedding photos.