Destined (6 page)

~Risks~

Only when she was able to compose herself did Alexander slowly walk over. He looked to be troubled himself, and as he came closer, the first coherent thoughts rol ed through Laura’s mind.

She could not believe Logan was gone. Just like that, he was gone. She had believed deeply – no, she
knew
– that what she felt for him was more than just the side effect of him taking her blood. It
had
to be. They had gone through so much together, in such a short time, that feeling
something
for the other person was only natural. And she felt a fool now for not tel ing him it more clearly, for not communicating with him how she felt before. She wished she told him how much she appreciated what he had done; how much she appreciated
him
. But he was now gone, and it was too late.

She looked up as Alexander came close. The trails of her tears were stil damp, and Alexander bent down and very gently wiped them away. Almost like a father would.

“What do we do now?” she asked him softly.

“We continue on,” he told her. His voice was strong, unlike hers. But his eyes looked hurt. Abruptly, Laura realized that she was not the only one to have lost someone she cared for that night. Madison had gone away also, and as much as Laura despised her, she had meant something to Alexander. Yet here he was, significantly more composed than she.

She nodded. “Do you know where they went?”

“Away,” he said. “Away from our journey and away from us.”

“And… where do we go?”

Alexander paused for a moment before

speaking. “We continue just as we planned before. It is the only thing to do.”

Laura nodded again. Alexander was regarding her with concern, but Laura realized she was looking at him the same way. Despite herself, she was worried about how
h e
was dealing with Madison’s departure. He had known her for a very long time, after al .

“You told me you knew her before,” she said.

“Has anything like this ever happened?”

Alexander shook his head. “No, never before.”

“I’m sorry, then,” Laura said.

Alexander looked taken aback. “Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“For… causing al this to happen. If not for me, you would stil be… with Madison.”

“And were it not for me, dear girl, you would stil be journeying together with Logan,” Alexander said kindly. “But we do not do service to ourselves to worry over such things. Life being as it is…

sometimes this can happen. The best thing for us to do is to face it with our heads held high.”

Laura took a deep breath. She knew what he was saying was
right
, and he had the experience of many years. Stil … the hurt was too deep to move on just like that.

“Do not think I am saying we forget what happened here,” Alexander continued as if reading her thoughts, “only that we should not let tonight’s…

episode… fester within our minds. We must keep going, and we can look at each other for strength.”

Laura nodded again. She looked at Gray, who was stil sleeping beside her. He was her symbol of strength, and he had not abandoned her. With a new resolve, she agreed. “Look at each other,” she repeated.

“At day break, we continue forward,” Alexander told her. “We wil take tonight to recoup, and begin with a fresh heart and easy mind tomorrow.” He got up and walked back to his spot by a tree not far off. After only a moment’s pause, Laura got up and walked to him. He regarded her evenly as she came closer.

“Alexander…?” she began.

“Yes?”

“I… heard Madison say that you could have left with them.”

He looked her up and down before replying. “I could have, yes.”

“But you chose to stay.”

“Yes.”

Laura smiled. “…thank you. Were it not for you, I would have been left alone in these woods. I do not know what I would have done, then.”

“Think nothing of it,” Alexander said. “I have seen your character, Laura, and know that you would have made the same choice in my position.”

“Stil ,” Laura said, “the choice couldn’t have been easy. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

He smiled. “There are precious few hours left until dawn,” he said. “You’d better go sleep before we journey tomorrow. I do not know how fast you can move, but I intend to find out.”

Laura smiled back, somewhat sadly, then walked the few steps to her spot by Gray. She truly was grateful to Alexander for his decision to stay. It was funny. She felt abandoned, and completely betrayed by Logan, but in the darkest hour she found at least one person she could pin her hopes on: Alexander. Gray was sleeping soundly when she lay down.

She reached out to put an arm over his warm, furry She reached out to put an arm over his warm, furry back, and he opened his eyes sleepily to see who it was. When he saw it was her, he settled back down. Despite herself, Laura had to smile. He would never leave her like Logan did.

“And I wil never leave you, either,” she whispered to him before she closed her eyes.

The nightmares were back, and this time they were much worse. Not least of al because Laura could remember every single one, down to its most terrifying detail.

She was running through the woods with Logan, with the wind in her hair. The sun was shining brightly, and the birds were singing. She felt Logan’s hand in hers, and felt it give her strength. She laughed, delighted with her place in the world. She looked around her at the scenery: the verdant green trees, the beautiful y sloped his. But when she looked over, it was not Logan who was holding her hand. Rather, it was Madison. Laura realized with a start that she was not running, but dangling precariously off the edge of a cliff, with Madison’s grip the only thing holding her from a sure death below. And Madison, smiling ever so sweetly, released her grip.

Laura was back in the caves. The
Vassiz
were gathering al around her, and she could hear their imminent approach. She was alone, and couldn’t see a thing in the dark. She ran wildly, trying to get away from the sound, but without seeing where she was going she slammed harshly into wal s and jutting stones. Some on the sides cut her, and some made her trip and fal , but she ran on, desperate, with the
Vassiz
getting ever closer. Suddenly a light appeared in front of her. A torch! But it was moving towards her. She stopped, trying to comprehend what was happening. Somebody was running with the torch. As the light got closer, she saw Logan’s face. “Logan!” she cried out, happy to see him. But he had eyes only for her neck, and was staring at it hungrily. “…Logan?” she asked unsteadily, but he didn’t respond. Throwing the torch down, he launched himself at her, and sunk his teeth into her neck. She screamed in pain and pure terror as he viciously ripped out her throat, sucking in the warm, sweet blood.

She was back at school. Sitting in class with al the other students; with al her friends. She was happy to be here, in the safety afforded by her home town. Although she had an uncomfortable inkling in the back of her mind that something was slightly off…

but couldn’t place her finger on it. She shrugged it off, and listened to the teacher in front of her lecture on about something indistinctive. Happily, she looked around her. The sun was shining through the windows, and it was bright outside. Too bright, in fact. With a start, she realized that she had trouble adjusting her eyes. The light was getting brighter, and she could see less and less. She started to panic, sweeping her eyes from one side of the room to the other, trying to catch something, anything, but al that was left was pure white. Al she could see was pure white.

She was blind. Breathing hard, she heard the scraping of chairs and desks around her. What was happening? She heard people starting to move, and wanted desperately to see where. She tried to push her chair back to get up, but hit something hard. She turned back, momentarily forgetting she couldn’t see. A sinister laugh greeted her. “You’re not going anywhere, darling,” somebody whispered in her ear in a raspy voice. Suddenly a hundred different hands grabbed hold of her limbs. She struggled against them, but they stayed on with an iron grip. She felt herself being picked up, and carried away, while laughter spread throughout the room. She flailed her body, unable to see what was happening. She was panicking, but it was no use. Abruptly she was thrown down, into something that felt… confined. Her hands reached out, but found only a hard, metal surface. She wanted to push herself up, but something hit her hard against her head. She fel back down. Desperately, she reached around her, but her hands Desperately, she reached around her, but her hands only found that same confined metal surface. She could feel the edges of the planes. With terror, she realized she was in some kind of bound container. Above, behind, under, and al around was that same terrible metal. She could feel al six sides of the container cramping against her, pushing into her. They pulsed as if alive, and Laura screamed. She was blind, and bound in a smal chest.

Laura woke with a start, breathing heavily and wide-eyed. When she realized she could make out her surroundings, relief flooded over her. Instinctual y, she spread her arms to test the boundaries of that box… and realized there was none. It had just been a dream.

A shiver ran down her spine. She knew she had been having nightmares before, but these were the first she could remember. They started soon after she had gotten out of the caves, with Logan. Who had now abandoned her only hours ago.

Instead of feeling sadness or anger over that thought, she felt… a hunger. And she knew it for what it was. Forceful y, she thrust it down, wil ing herself to be strong enough not to be succumbed by it. Alexander believed in her. With al the uncertainty about what was going to happen next, giving way to the vampire urge would be the worst thing she could do.

Alexander appeared in front of her, startling her momentarily. She didn’t like being so jumpy, but those nightmares had her on edge.

“Morning,” he said, “I trust you got a decent night’s sleep?”

“Yes,” Laura lied. “I’m already feeling better than yesterday.”

“Good. We’l travel hard today, then.”

“Do you know how long it wil take us to reach…

the archive?”

Alexander thought for a minute. “Truth be told, we’re not that far. If you could run as fast as you wil one day, we’d be there by nightfal . As it is, I think we can get there within two days.”

“Two days,” Laura said thoughtful y. Then she pushed herself up, determined to show that they could beat that time. If it was a way she could prove her strength to him after he saw her cry, wel … so be it.

“I’m ready.”

To her surprise, Alexander chuckled. And smiled at her fondly. “You remind me of a young girl I once knew, ages ago,” he said. “When I was stil human. My niece. She had a similar type of steely determination.”

“Determination?” Laura asked. She was never complimented on
that
before.

“In the face of everything that’s happened to you, you’ve risen above it with a steady resolve. And you don’t have the advantage of many years of life to draw on, yet. It’s impressive.”

“Thank you,” Laura said shyly. “Shal we get going, then? You can lead the way.”

Again, Alexander chuckled. “Ever-anxious, are we? I know you might feel like you can go for a very long time, at first, but we have to be careful to mediate our travel speed.”

“What? Why?”

“We have to make sure we don’t rouse your hunger,” he explained. “You haven’t fed yet, and we don’t want to have that instinct take over.”

“Why would it do that?” Laura asked. She had forced it down herself, only minutes earlier, and had proven herself by not taking the life of the hunter. “I’ve withstood it before.”

“Yes,” Alexander said, “but the difference now is that we’l be making use of the
skills
afforded to you by your new body. And they require you to embrace the part of you that’s ful y a vampire. If you do that for too long, or too suddenly, the vampire part of you… it might take over. And you won’t be able to control it any more than you can control where the sun rises in the morning or sets at night.”

“Wait,” Laura said, “are you saying that by making use of the vampire abilities, I risk… somehow losing myself?”

“That’s exactly right,” Alexander said. “There’s a fine balance that we – the
Vassiz
– have to achieve. The vampire blood in us is strong, but al of us have descended, at some point in our lineage, from humans. The human part is infinitely stronger. The vampire portion of ourselves… it is al beast. It operates on pure instinct. There is no thought. We control it through the feedings, however. That’s why we need to take
human
blood, for us to retain the human characteristics that keep us in control.”

“Wow,” Laura breathed, “I never knew that.”

“Logan did not share?” He sounded… not confused, but interested. “It is no matter. What you need to know about your new body, then, is that you now have two entities living inside you. The vampire one…” he put one hand out, palm-up, “…and the human one.” He put his other hand out the same way. “We must always stay in control of the vampire entity, for if we lose, we risk losing our minds, and our humanity. We wil become little more than beasts, like dogs or wolves. We wil digress to a markedly less sophisticated form.”

“But the vampire form… it gives us speed, right?

And agility, and balance. And longer life. No?”

“Yes,” Alexander said, “and at first, it might seem that those gifts are an advancement over the human form. But that is not so. For the vampire traits are al purely
physical
. They serve to restrict the mind. It is our
humanity
that gives us the most precious gift of al : control over our thoughts.”

“I never thought of it like that,” Laura said.

“There are many things you don’t know yet, Laura,” Alexander smiled. “But I wil do my best to help you learn them.”

“Thank you.”

He shrugged. “Think nothing of it. But my point to al this is that we have to be careful keeping you in control. Whenever you make use of any of the vampire abilities – those you mentioned, among others – the vampire entity that resides within you becomes stronger. Like a caged beast, it wants to be freed of the constraints put on it by your stil -human mind. When you’re
not
making use of those abilities, the vampire entity relaxes, and… becomes dormant, even. Taking human blood keeps it at bay more than anything, but so do many years of experience. You are fresh, stil very new, and no matter how strong your resolve is, some things remain out of your control.