Destined (Vampire Awakenings) (29 page)

   Sera sighed impatiently. “I’ll stay on the other side of the room, and you can stand right by my side. He’s not going to hurt me, but someone needs to tell him something, and I’m the least threatening of you all.”

   “Fine,”
Liam
relented. “But you’ll be staying in the kitchen, far away from him.”

   Sera smiled happily as she looked at everyone. “I can’t believe that we have to go through this again,” Doug muttered.

   “I can’t believe we’re going to have to deal with another sickening couple,” Jack snorted.

   “U
gh!” they
groaned.

CHAPTER 14

   Isabelle knew that he was gone the minute she woke up. A crushing sense of loss descended on her as a dull ache bloomed in her chest. She scrunched her eyes tight as she tried to shove the hurt, and loss, away. It was what she had wanted after all. What she had been longing for since he had arrived. She should be happy that he was
gone;
she was
going
to be happy that he was gone. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking against the bright light that filled the living room.

   “You’re awake.” She turned to find her mother sitting on the other couch, her hands clasped before her as she worriedly scanned Isabelle’s face. “How do you feel?”

   “He’s gone.” It wasn’t what she had meant to say, but the words had popped out anyway.

   Her mother’s eyes darkened as she nodded briskly. “He left after he brought you home.”

   Isabelle swallowed heavily and closed her eyes against the pain in her chest. She was going to be happy, she told herself fiercely. She had wanted this
all along
, but why did it hurt so much? Tears filled her eyes, but she refused to shed them. “Why?” she whispered.

   “I don’t know
.
H
e left before any of us could talk to him.”

   “I hurt,” she murmured, not sure if she was talking about her ache for Stefan or the lingering discomfort in her body.

   “What hurts?”
her mother asked gently.

   Everything! S
he wanted to cry in a
nguish. “My body,” she lied
. “I’m sore.”

   “It will get better.” Her mother moved over to kneel before her. Isabelle opened her eyes to meet her dark, violet blue gaze. “About Stefan...”

   “I’m glad he’s gone,” she said forcefully. “Now my life will get back to normal.”

   Her mother’s eyes searched her face as she lightly stroked back her hair. “Yes, I’m sure it will,” she said softly, but Isabelle
read the doubt in her
mother’s
eyes. Isabelle
closed her eyes firmly, refusing to see the pain, and pity, in her mother’s gaze. “Are you hungry?”

   “Yes.”

   “I’ll be right back.”

   Isabelle listened as her mother moved away, but she refused to open her eyes. The annoying tears were threatening to come again, and she refused to shed them. Not for him. He did not deserve her tears. This was exactly what she wanted, and she was going to rejoice in the fact that he was gone. She was going to get her life back together, and she was going to forget that he had ever existed.

   Even as she told herself this, the pain in her chest constricted, and a single tear slid free.

***

   The next two
days passed by in a blur of pain
. Isabelle found herself disjointed, irritable, and exceptionally moody. She snapped at everyone, cried for no reason, and constantly ached in every part of her body. Her heart had become a constricted lump of muscle that blazed agony through her with every beat. There were times that she thought she was simply going to die from the pain that wracked her.

   She saw the looks that everyone gave her, heard their whispered comments, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about any of it. Her mind was a foggy mess that didn’t want to function. She couldn’t bring herself to eat, and sleep was the only solitude that she found. She would curl up in her bed, drag the comforters over her head, cry out her anguish, and when she was completely exhausted, sleep would finally claim her.

   Then, she would dream of him, and in her dreams the pain eased, and everything was right again. When she woke, the pain instantly reclaimed her body, seizing hold of her, and shaking her until she broke out in a cold sweat, and tears of agony were wrenched from her. She would curl into a ball and cry until she was too weak to cry anymore. Then, she would fall back asleep, and the whole process would start again.

   On the third day, her hunger began to greatly affect her. She made her way upstairs, every step an act of sheer will power. She felt horrible, she looked horrible, and it was
his
fault. It didn’t matter that she had wanted him to leave, that she had gotten what she wanted, because she could no longer recall why she had wanted it. She only wanted him to come back. But, he had abandoned her, and he had left her to feel like this. Left her here to suffer miserably while he went off
gallivanting
, doing
whatever he wanted
. That thought only made the pain worse, and she tried desperately not to allow herself to think about what he could possibly be doing, and with
whom
.

   The pain didn’t ease with every day like she had hoped, it only got worse. Much worse. She was beginning to fear that if it didn’t ease, she would die from it. She had never imagined that anything could hurt like this. Not even when they had
drained
her blood
had it hurt like this. She had a permanent black cloud of misery enfolding her, making it hard to breathe, hard to live. She felt as if she was missing a piece of herself, the piece that had made it possible for her to exist.
She was missing t
he piece that made it possible to make it through every
day
with some semblance of sanity,
i
f it didn’t ease soon, than she didn’t know how she was going to survive.

   Ethan was in the kitchen when she made it upstairs. His eyes widened in surprise as they landed on her. He had always been her rock, her best friend, the one person that she had turned to in times of comfort and need, but she didn’t even speak to him,
couldn’t
speak to him. “Isabelle,” he said gently.

   She shook her head, unable to deal with him at the moment. He took hold of her arm, settling her onto one of the stools before grabbing a bag of blood and opening it for her. She accepted it and drank it quickly before tossing it aside. “That’s the first time I’ve seen you feed since you were eight.”

   Isabelle looked into his warm, worried green eyes, and burst into tears. Ethan stood in stunned silence before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against him. He rocked her gently as she clung to his shirt and buried her head in his solid chest. The comfort she had always found in him was nowhere now. She hurt too much to find any comfort anywhere. She cried herself out, but still clung to him, unable to move for fear that she’d fall off the stool.

   “It will be all right,” he said, gently smoothing back her hair.

   “No it won’t,” she whispered. “I want to go to bed.”

   “You can’t spend the rest of your life asleep
Issy
.”

   She started crying again, but she was so exhausted that only dry sobs wracked her. Ethan helped her climb to her feet, and led her into the living r
oom. She curled up on the couch;
drawing her knees to her chest
she
wrapp
ed
her arms around them as she tried to ease the agony in her body. He sat nervously beside her, uncertain of what to do, of how to help her as he lightly stroked her hair until she fell back asleep.

   He looked up as David, his mother, and Mike came through the door. “I thought you said that he couldn’t hurt her!” he snapped.

   They stood silently, staring down at Isabelle. “He’ll be back,” his mother said softly. “He has to come back.”

   “And if he doesn’t?”
Ethan demanded.

   His mother’s eyes filled with tears as her gaze met his. “They say that one can’t live without the other,” David said softly. “They go insane and have to destroyed, or they kill themselves.”

   Ethan swallowed heavily as his hand convulsed in Isabelle’s hair. He had never seen her look so bad. No matter how much sleep she got, there were still dark shadows under her eyes. She had become so pale that she was almost translucent, and he could clearly see the tiny blue veins in her temples, eyelids, and neck. Her hair was lackluster, its natural shine gone. Her face was pinched tight, even in her sleep, and she had lost a good five pounds.

   “S
he’ll die,” he said softly.

   “Maybe, maybe not. We don’t really know how it all works. They may not have known each other long enough, they may not have been able to form a strong enough bond for it
to end that way,” Mike said hopefully.

   “They
formed a bond
,” Sera said softly. “Ian said it was Stefan that knew she was in trouble the other night, and he would have killed Ethan if David hadn’t managed to get through to him. Their bond is strong already. Trust me, I know.”

   “Why would he leave then?” Ethan demanded.

   “I don’t know. Maybe he thought it would be for the best. But, if Isabelle is going through this much pain, than so is he.”

   “And if he’s not? If you’re wrong about that, and he doesn’t come back?”

   “I don’t know Ethan!” she cried, tears streaking down her cheeks. “I don’t know!”

***

   Isabelle rested her chin on top of her drawn up knees. She wrapped her arms around them as she stared out at the pale moonlight spilling across the lake. It had taken ev
ery bit of strength, and energy
she had to get out here, but her mother had insisted upon a walk, and she had been too tired to put up an argument. Her mother sat silently beside her, gazing out at the lake as she slowly rocked the swing back and forth.

   “I miss him,” Isabelle mumbled.

   “I know you do.”

   “I never wanted this,” she whispered. “I never wanted to feel like this. I tried so hard to avoid it.” Her voice broke on a
sob;
she had to pause to take a deep breath before she could go on. “I stayed away from everyone, stayed away from humans, just so this wouldn’t happen.”

   Her mother looked at her questioningly. “So what wouldn’t happen?” she asked
gent
ly.

   “This! Look at me! I’m a mess!” she cried. “I hurt so bad, emotionally and physically, that I can h
ardly breathe, let alone survive
! I never wanted to be like you and dad! I didn’t want it!” She was sobbing again, her body shaking as tears slid down her face. Her mother touched her arm gently as she continued to sob out her misery. “Before he came, I hadn’t cried since Ethan and Ian cut off my hair, and now I can’t stop! I feel like
I’m dying!” she sobbed. “I
never
wanted to feel this vulnerable because of another person!”

   “Isabelle, hiding away from the world wasn’t going to stop anything. What is meant to
be
is meant to be. You two
wer
e meant to be together, no matter what you did, you
weren’t going to
change that fact.”

   “No, we’re not!” she yelled. “He wouldn’t have left then! He never should have come here! What is the matter with me?”

   “Nothing,” her mom assured her, gently stroking her hair. “There is nothing wrong with you Isabelle.”

  
Isabelle hugged her legs tighter, fighting against the fierce tremors that wracked her pain stricken body.
“Yes, there is.
Abby and Vicky like every
guy they meet.
I’ve never felt anything, for anyone, until I met him!”

  
Her mom sighed softly, her hand curl
ed
gently around the back of Isabelle’s head.
“Because a part of you knew that he was out there, that he would come for you. Vicky and Abby may not have that person.”

   “Why couldn’t that have been me? They want soul mates
.
I don’t
.
I don’t even know if he is
,
or not! I don’t know anything anymore.” She started shaking with the force of her sobs, and misery.
She leaned against her
mother
as she h
ugged her tightly. “I never wanted my life, my existence, to hang on someone else’s. I know that what you and dad have is special, but if he dies, than you die, and vice versa. I never wanted to be so vulnerable! Now... now...”