Destiny (21 page)

He agreed. In part. “How could you say you trusted me? You never once let on you were unhappy.”

“Because I didn’t know myself!” She toyed with the button on her jacket as she spoke. “It wasn’t until I was diagnosed that I looked at life from a whole new perspective. After that I
was
unhappy. I wanted more but didn’t know what that more was, so how could I tell you?”

He nodded in understanding. “Thank you for that.”

A part of him was sad they hadn’t had this talk until now. Another part was grateful for the insight into a difficult time in his past that until now he’d tried hard not to dwell on.

A sad smile crossed her face. “The hard truth is that ever since my diagnosis, you smothered me and I didn’t want that. I didn’t tell you because I’d always let you make the decisions in our relationship. That was my failing, not yours.”

He reached for the shopping cart, grasping it in his hand, letting the cool metal soothe him. “It’s not like I listened when you talked either.”

At least now he knew why. After Ethan left, Nash had felt a compulsive need to take charge and control. He’d done that with Annie, and as she said, she’d allowed it. But even after their divorce, he hadn’t listened when she’d asked him to back off. And regardless of what she said about her own failings, he knew he made it difficult for people to come to him.

Dare was another story entirely. His brother had kept a secret from the time he was fifteen. Nash might be tough, but he couldn’t shoulder all the blame for his brother’s choice either. Not that it mattered, he realized now. He’d either have to accept what Dare had done or not.

It was over. Nash couldn’t change the past and he sure as hell didn’t want to lose his brother any more than he wanted to lose Kelly.

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation in the cereal aisle,” Annie said, giving him a welcome break from his thoughts.

Nash grinned. “Better than the ice-cold frozen-food one.”

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked.

He nodded. And for the first time in a long while, he actually believed he’d be just fine.

Nash called a family meeting at his condo. He included
everyone, from Kelly to Dare to Ethan and Faith. He told Ethan to keep Tess home with Rosalita.

Nash hadn’t seen Dare since Tess’s art show. Though they hadn’t talked since their argument, Nash knew Dare had spent a couple of nights in a motel before Ethan talked him into moving into a spare room at his house. The place Dare was building wasn’t ready and, besides, he had a buyer and he’d soon be finished with the place, making himself a nice profit. So it came as no surprise that Ethan, Faith, and Dare arrived together. Kelly pulled up a short time later.

They gathered in the family room. Everyone knew they were there to discuss Tess, so civility reigned.

Cold civility.

Dare nodded at him when he walked in, but they didn’t have any one-on-one conversation, and since Kelly showed up after the rest of the family, there was no time or opportunity.

Still, Nash couldn’t tear his gaze away. She wore a pair of navy sweats that rode low on her hips and rolled at the ankles along with a white tank top beneath a hooded zip sweatshirt. All he could think about was the body beneath the heavy clothes. He wanted to pull the zipper down slowly, expose her skin, and lick every part of her he could see before getting to work on the parts she had hidden.

She’d pulled her hair into a ponytail and hadn’t bothered with makeup, clearly not caring if she impressed him or not.

She did.

The dark circles under her eyes told him she wasn’t sleeping any better without him than he was without her. That was all he needed to know.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice,” he said. “The private investigator I hired had some interesting information and I thought you should all hear it together.”

Ethan leaned forward, eager for information, while Faith wrapped an arm around his shoulder, there for him in whatever way he needed.

Nash envied them the easiness between them. The love that existed and could be counted on. He had a lot of work to do before he’d get Kelly to believe he wanted those same things with her.

But they all had to deal with Leah Moss first. “Okay. Apparently when Leah left Tess and Kelly, she headed to Atlantic City with her then boyfriend. He proceeded to lose a ton of money at one of the casinos, couldn’t cover his marker, and ended up in jail. Instead of sticking by her man, Leah moved on in search of the next target. Of course she had no money, so she took a job as a waitress in one of the larger casino restaurants.”

He glanced at Kelly, who listened with little reaction to give away her feelings. His heart clenched, wishing he could hold her while he told them the rest, but they weren’t at that place anymore. He could only hope they’d get back there—soon.

“While working, Leah met Sean Muldoon, a wealthy man who wanted a more mature wife, since the second Mrs. Muldoon, a twenty-something-year-old, had divorced him and hooked up with someone closer to her own age. The first Mrs. Muldoon had given him two now adult children and was long gone.”

“This sounds like a soap opera,” Faith said. Her gaze shot to Kelly. “Sorry. My family’s actually worse.”

Kelly replied with a weak smile.

“Go on,” Ethan said.

Nash nodded. “Whirlwind courtship and marriage. His adult children aren’t happy, of course. They see their future inheritance dwindling. Muldoon lives near Livingston, New Jersey.”

Dare whistled. “Nice area.”

“With families who send their kids to private school, who attend their sports games… and art shows,” he said pointedly. “In other words, to get in with the ‘in’ crowd, Leah needs to play the role of doting mother. Prove Muldoon’s kids are wrong and she’s not a gold digger, just a loving mother who fell in love with their father.”

Dare cleared his throat and looked at Ethan. “Nash’s PI found this damn fast. How the hell did your guy miss this?”

“He wasn’t looking. The man got lazy and greedy. Last case he worked for me concerned a business issue with my ex-partner. I had no problems there, so when he told me he kept hitting a dead end on this, I believed him. He was taking his retainer and enjoying his life,” Ethan muttered.

“I take it you fired him?” Nash asked.

“And reported him to the licensing agency.” Ethan drummed his fingers against the table. “What business is Muldoon in?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Manufacturing. Old family business that his brother runs while he pulls in a predetermined share.”

“So far we have a nice claim, but how can we use this to keep Tess? If they tell a judge they can give her a good life, a child’s mother has a much better chance than a sister or brother.” Kelly hugged her arms tight to her chest, her fear for Tess obvious.

“Because there’s more,” Nash said, looking into her eyes, searching for a glimpse of the feelings she’d said she had for him.

Right now he saw bleak desperation, but he hoped to change that. Soon, he promised himself. Once they got through this mess with her mother.

“Muldoon is a functioning alcoholic. According to the report I have, he has a fully stocked bar, visits his country club daily where he passes the afternoons watching the stock market on the TV screen, and he always has a drink in his hand.”

Kelly’s eyes lit up with hope. “And my mother? Is she still drinking?” She flexed and unflexed her fingers, over and over. “I hate it that I’m hoping my own mother is still a lush just so we can keep Tess.” She looked down, shamed and embarrassed.

“You aren’t a bad person, Kel. You’re human.” Dare eased closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

Brotherly, Nash knew, but it had him grinding his teeth anyway.

“Nash? What did you find out about my mother?” Kelly asked, the first time she’d spoken directly to him.

“Let’s just say from the people my guy talked to, Leah and her husband enable each other’s drinking. Day and night. We can paint an ugly picture for the court.”

She nodded and kept up the rhythmic clenching of her fists.

Nash waited for his family to process the information for a few minutes before picking up the file that had been expressed to him earlier in the day.

“Here,” he said to Ethan, handing everything over to him. “I’m sure you have a good family-law attorney, but if you need names, let me know.” Nash handled more business and real estate law, though he did the occasional favor for a friend that involved something more personal, and he’d even tackled family court.

But Nash wouldn’t let his ego stand in the way of hiring the best person to protect Tess.

Ethan slapped the thick folder against his thigh. “I’m hoping to avoid court altogether. My hunch is that the Muldoons’ reputation in the community means more to them than getting custody of a kid they don’t really want. The last thing they need is to have their dirty laundry aired in the community, and if they take us to court, that’s exactly what will happen. I’ll make sure of it,” he swore, his tone so dark even Faith trembled.

“And you’ll make sure my mother knows it before this goes so far,” Kelly said, awareness of his intentions dawning. “I’ll go with you.”

“No.” Ethan shook his head, speaking before Nash could say the same.

Good thing or Kelly would probably accuse him of being as controlling as Annie had. He’d just wanted to protect her, but as he’d learned with his ex, Kelly didn’t need his protecting. She needed him to stand by her, support her, but let her know he believed in her abilities and strength.

It wasn’t easy. Hell, it went against every guy instinct he had. But this change in him was worth the reward.

“She’s my mother.”

“And she’ll play dirty, using your emotions to rile you up and set you off.” Ethan didn’t have to remind her of her reaction to Leah’s threats the other night.

Nash saw the memory flash in her eyes.

“Let me deal with her,” Ethan said. “I can play this as cold as I have to. Without you there for her to try and manipulate, I’ll have the upper hand.”

“I’m prepared now. There’s no way I’d let her get to me like that again.”

Kelly straightened her shoulders and Nash was proud of her resolve. “I know you wouldn’t,” Nash said, unable to hold back.

A quick flash of gratitude flickered across her face before she masked all feelings toward him once more.

“I know that too,” Ethan assured her.

Kelly blew out a long breath. “But I see your point. Our position is stronger without me there.”

Now Nash admired the strength of character it took to admit she’d be better off backing down.

“We’ll have custody papers drawn up for her to sign,” Ethan said. “Hopefully when I show Leah the consequences of pursuing this, she’ll do a full retreat.”

Kelly nodded. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but… what about visitation? She is Tess’s mother. Granted, she hasn’t been much of one, but shouldn’t Tess have the choice as she gets older if she wants to see Leah?”

Ethan paused in thought.

“I’d insist that she get help, get sober first,” Kelly added. “I’m not looking to put Tess in any emotional or physical danger, but growing up without a mother or knowing your mother didn’t care can leave emotional scars.”

Nash closed his eyes against the pain in those words.

“We’ll deal with that in the agreement,” Ethan promised. “Sober and Tess’s choice.”

“Thank you,” Kelly whispered.

Family meeting over, everyone rose, said their good-byes, and filed out the door.

“Kelly, can you stay for a little while?” Nash asked before she walked out.

She turned, her eyes wide with surprise. He saw the war going on behind the mask of her expression that hid her emotions from him. Or tried to.

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

He reached for her but she stepped back. “ ‘Won’t,’ you mean?”

“Can’t.” She set her jaw. “I have plans.”

He inclined his head, studying her for a brief minute before nodding. “Okay, then. Have a nice night.”

“Thank you.”

Too soon, she was gone and Nash was alone. A place he’d created for himself. Now it was up to him to rectify his mistake.

Kelly walked out of Nash’s condo, head held high.
The minute she heard the door close behind her, she backed herself against the wall and drew in a long breath.

She had plans, all right. Plans to go over her testimony with the lawyer Ethan found for her. God, it was hard to be in the same room with Nash and not be with him. It was worse than breaking up with a friend who ran with the same crowd because she couldn’t avoid family events. Well, she’d just have to learn to cope.

Being alone with him wouldn’t help her deal any easier, so it couldn’t be part of the plan.

Eighteen

Nash knew Dare took lunch at the Family Restaurant.
He considered meeting up with him at Ethan’s, but he didn’t want Tess subjected to tension between her brothers, so he opted for a public meeting.

A surprise meeting.

Nash waylaid his brother’s partner, Mac, handed him a twenty, and asked him to get fast food and come back to pick up Dare later.

Heavy-handed and controlling? Yeah.

But necessary if he wanted peace.

Nash waved to Macy, indicating she didn’t have to seat him by pointing to Dare in the back booth. She nodded and refocused on the couple who walked in behind him.

“Mind if I join you?” Nash asked his brother.

Dare’s blue eyes grew wary. “Mac’s coming in a second.”

“He’s giving us a few minutes.” Nash might have commandeered this meeting, but he wasn’t going to force his brother to talk to him.

Dare waved at the empty booth. “Sit.”

Nash lowered himself into the bench across from his brother. “How’ve you been?”

“Fine.”

“Work good?”

“Also fine.”

Nash gripped his hands beneath the table. “This how it’s going to be? Like pulling teeth?”

Dare shrugged. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

Nash ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Jesus. I don’t want to dictate what comes out of your mouth. Just talk to me.”

Dare leaned back in the booth and glanced up at the ceiling before looking at Nash once more. “If I had to make that same choice again, whether or not to live with the Rossmans, I’d do the exact same thing.”

“Fair enough. I can’t fathom what you went through back then.”

“Who are you and what have you done to my middle brother?” Dare asked. “Did you really just accept that?” Shock rippled through Dare’s voice.

“Yeah. I did.” Nash’s lips twisted in a wry smile. “Look, none of us can change what happened back then. If we could, our parents would still be alive. I want to go forward as best we can.”

“I lied to you for years,” Dare said, pushing him.

Nash figured he wanted to be sure they put everything behind them. “Yeah, you did. And I still want to kick your ass for doing it.”

“Try it.” Dare grinned. “I have academy training.”

Nash shook his head and groaned. “I can’t tell you I understand why you kept silent all these years. But we’ve all made so many mistakes, me included, I think it’s better to let it all go.”

“I wish it were always that simple,” Dare muttered, his eyes darkening to a deep, stormy blue.

There it is,
Nash thought. The glimpse of darkness and inner torment he occasionally sensed in his brother.

“But if you’re game for forgive-and-forget, I’m grateful. I want my brother back.” Dare held out a hand.

Across the table, Nash shook it.

Another heavy weight lifted from his chest. Breathing came easier again. He’d never not had Dare in his life, and the last weeks had been a hell he didn’t care to revisit.

“You want to move back in?” Nash asked.

“Are you hiring yourself a Rosalita?”

Nash shook his head and laughed. “Getting spoiled?”

“It’s temporary. I’ll be out before you know it. Besides, I figure it’s only a matter of time before you get Kelly to forgive you for being an ass.”

“Burgers for the Barron boys,” Gina, their waitress said, placing their plates down in front of them.

Nash raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t order yet.”

Gina patted him on the shoulder. “You never vary. I figured why wait. Yell if you need anything else,” she said, and headed for another table.

The delicious aroma of hamburger and thick French fries assaulted him and his stomach grumbled, reminding him he was starving.

“Well?” Dare asked as Nash took a large bite of his food.

“You get Kelly to forgive you for being an ass yet?” Dare began eating too.

Nash wiped his mouth with the napkin before answering. “What makes you think I was an ass?”

“You trying to tell me the breakup was her fault?” Dare poured ketchup onto his plate, then passed the bottle to Nash.

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll fix things.”

“Waiting for anything in particular?” Dare asked. “Like another guy to step in?”

Nash curled his hands into tight fists. “Do you know anything?” he asked, recalling her saying she had plans the other day.

Dare let out a loud laugh. “No, but it was worth the show to see your reaction. Seriously, what are you waiting for?”

“She wouldn’t stick around to talk to me the other day, but don’t worry,” he said, as much to assure his brother as himself. “I have a plan.”

On Thursday, Kelly picked Tess up after school to
take her for ice cream. Tomorrow she would go to the city for the deposition and then hopefully that part of her life would be over for good.

She just wished she knew what the future held.

She placed her order, coffee ice cream and hot fudge, while Tess ordered Monster Mash ice cream and marshmallow fluff, which Kelly thought looked like green goop. Neither of them cared that the weather was cooler now—ice cream was a treat they always enjoyed.

Kelly nabbed a window seat at a table in the corner of the shop, where she and Tess could talk in private. She gave her sister a few minutes to enjoy her ice cream before broaching a subject she wished they could avoid.

“We need to talk about Mom.”

“Hell no,” Tess said and began to shovel spoonfuls of green goop into her mouth to emphasize her point.

Kelly sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk. You’ll listen.”

Tess shoved her spoon into her cup so hard the plastic handle cracked in her hand. “She left me,” Tess said in a small voice.

“That’s why we’re making sure she can’t just come back and insist you live with her now.” Kelly was having a hard time talking to Tess while her sister’s entire mouth was covered with green ice cream and white fluff.

Kelly handed her a napkin and pointed to her mouth. Tess grabbed it and wiped her face clean, then leaned back in her seat.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Kelly asked her sister.

For the first time, Kelly wondered. She’d left Tess with Ethan, just as her mother had left her with Kelly. The realization about the similarity was too long in coming, and Kelly wanted to kick herself for not coming to that conclusion sooner.

“Yeah, I trust you,” Tess said.

The teen sounded sincere but Kelly needed to know for sure. “Even though I left you with Ethan this summer?”

Tess bobbed her head up and down. “Yeah. I was a pain in the ass. You had no choice.” She stared down at her dessert, suddenly not so interested in the treat.

“Hey.” Kelly waited till Tess looked back up. “Yes, you were a pain, but you were going through a hard time. We both were, and I turned to Ethan for help. I realize now that in your eyes, that could make me no better than Mom, but I swear to God, Tess, I love you and I will be there for you no matter how big a pain in the ass you are.”

She softened the last part with her tone, knowing she could always joke with Tess, even over something as serious as this. Neither of them could deny Tess had been difficult.

To Kelly’s surprise, Tess blinked hard and tears fell from her eyes, showing her big, tough Tess wasn’t so tough after all.

Kelly’s heart broke at the sight. “What is it?”

“We’re a team,” Tess said, repeating something Kelly had often told her in the middle of the night when Tess would get scared and crawl into bed with her.

“Yeah, we are.” Kelly smiled, the pain in her chest easing, somewhat.

“But so are Ethan and Faith.”

Kelly narrowed her gaze, confused by Tess’s comment. “I don’t get it.”

Tess began to rock in her seat. “They just got married. They don’t need a kid hanging around them all the time. Isn’t it just easier for them to let Mom take me?” she asked, wide-eyed and truly afraid.

Kelly folded her hands on the table and leaned in close. “You listen to me. If I thought for one second that Ethan didn’t want you, I’d move you in with me and fight Mom all by myself,” she said, meaning every word.

“Then why don’t you?” Tess didn’t meet her gaze. Instead, she stirred her spoon around the now melting ice cream in front of her.

“Because in my heart and soul, with everything I believe inside me, I know Ethan loves you, wants you, and will do everything in his power to keep you with him. Faith too. And let’s face it. Aren’t you happier in a house that’s a real home than you would be in my one-bedroom apartment?”

Kelly waited for an answer, swearing to herself that if Tess said otherwise, she’d pack her sister up tonight and move the teenager in with her.

“You won’t be insulted if I tell you the truth?” Tess asked.

“Considering this is the first time you’d be
asking
to express your opinion? Of course not. Go for it.” Kelly encouraged her sister to open up.

“Then, yeah. I love living with Ethan and Faith, and having my own room. I can have friends over and there’s always someone home after school. And I don’t miss you too much because I see you all the time.”

“Of course you do. I make sure of that.” Kelly tipped her head to the side. “So you believe me? About Ethan and Faith wanting you?”

Tess nodded. “It’s just…”

“That people close to you have disappointed you and let you down, so you’re afraid to trust.”

Tess perked up in her seat. “How do you know exactly what I’m thinking?” she asked.

Kelly laughed. “Because I’m older and wiser, that’s how.”

Tess rolled her eyes and grinned, and Kelly knew they were finished with the hard part of the afternoon.

“So how come you and Nash aren’t together no more?”

Kelly nearly choked. So much for the hard part being over.

“
Any
more.” She managed to correct her sister’s grammar, buying time with which to come up with an answer. “Because sometimes two people can care about each other, but because they’ve had bad experiences in the past, it affects how they react to each other in the present.” Kelly nodded, pleased with her explanation. “Do you understand?”

Tess shook her head. “Nope.”

Kelly sighed.

“Good afternoon, ladies.”

Kelly stiffened at the sound of Nash’s familiar, too-sexy voice.

“Hey, Nash! We were just talking about you,” Tess said, obviously back to her happily nosy, troublemaking self.

“Oh, yeah?” Nash grabbed one of the white iron chairs, turned it around backward, and sat down beside Kelly. “Do tell.”

“Do not speak,” Kelly warned Tess. Instead, she fished through her wallet and pulled out a ten-dollar bill. “Here. Go buy yourself a new ice cream. Our talk ruined yours before you had a chance to eat it.” She waved the bill in front of her sister.

Tess glanced between the two adults, then grabbed the money, hopefully realizing her life was on the line.

“Please buy me a bottle of water while you’re up there,” Kelly said.

Tess glanced over to the counter. “There’s a long line,” she complained.

“Go!”

Tess stomped toward the counter.

“Not so smooth,” Nash said with a smile.

“Hey, she’s gone for a few minutes. Mission accomplished.”

He laughed and Kelly almost forgot they’d broken up. Almost but not quite.

He looked handsome in his work suit, a navy pinstripe with a pastel multicolored tie. The mental reminder of their distance came as a swift kick to her heart.

“So what’s the special occasion?” He pointed to Tess’s melted ice cream.

“I picked her up from school. I wanted to talk to her about Leah. See how she really felt about everything.”

Nash nodded in understanding. “Is she okay?”

Kelly appreciated that he was being civil despite their breakup. She knew it was for Tess’s sake, since they’d have years of family get-togethers ahead of them. But she couldn’t say it didn’t hurt.

“She will be once we take care of things legally. As long as she feels like she’s in limbo, she’s going to question everyone’s feelings for her.”

Anger flashed in his eyes for a moment before he banked the emotion. “It’s not fair for her to go through so much emotional turmoil so young.”

“Nobody’s immune from pain or disappointment.” He ought to know that firsthand, Kelly thought.

“You’re right. And sometimes that pain causes us to say or do stupid things to the wrong people. People who don’t deserve it.” Nash met her gaze and held on.

There was so much he wanted to say, to explain.

He’d missed her like crazy but he knew from Annie that Kelly had her deposition tomorrow and he’d just dropped off legal documents at Ethan’s, for him to use to confront Kelly’s mother. It didn’t seem fair to ask her to discuss
them
right now.

Which meant he was holding back. For good reason. Suddenly Ethan’s words about Kelly came back to him.
By the time she wanted to tell you, your life had imploded. She didn’t want to burden you.
Just like he didn’t want to burden her now, by forcing her to deal with their relationship when the rest of her world was crumbling around her.

God, he’d been so arrogant and selfish, yelling at her and casting her out of his life.

“That almost sounds like an apology.” Kelly’s voice interrupted his thoughts and gave him a much-needed opening.

He took her hand, enjoying the soft feel of her skin. He’d missed this, missed her. “Maybe because it is one.”

She looked down at their joined hands, then pulled away. “Thank you.”

He smiled. “I mean it, Kelly. I’ve made mistakes. More than I can go into now. More than you need to deal with at the moment.” He paused, then said, “I heard your deposition’s tomorrow.”

She nodded and looked around, probably checking to make sure Tess wasn’t coming back yet.

“I’m not looking forward to it,” she admitted.

“I can only imagine. Is there anything I can do to help? Legal advice? Moral support?”

With every word he spoke, he confirmed his reasons for not pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless in front of Tess and every other ice-cream-eating customer. He couldn’t put more pressure on her now.