Destiny (The Chosen One Trilogy:Book Three) (35 page)

Jasper squeezed my shoulder. “We’re going to
bury Trent.” He took my hand and led me to our nephew’s grave. Mel
was leaning back against Luke and I was sure the only reason she
was still standing was because he was holding her up. Ben had his
arm around Tara, Matthew was holding Emelly’s hand. All of our
closest friends stood surrounding the grave of one of the youngest
members of our pack. We all stood close together, giving each other
comfort with the touching of our arms.

Luke took a deep breath. “You were always a
great son, Trent.” His voice was just a whisper but was still loud
enough for all of us to hear in the silence that engulfed the
clearing. “You were a friend to everyone, a brother to anyone who
needed it. You never let anyone talk you out of what you believed.
You were turning into a man any father would be proud of.” The
tears were streaming down his face. Mel reached back and pulled his
head down to hers. “By the moons, Mel, I’m so sorry.” He broke down
and she turned to hold him.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Her sobs raked
through her. “I was watching, Luke. There’s no way you could have
stopped it.”

“There had to have been a way. There should
have been a way.”

I reached over and put a hand on Luke’s arm.
He pulled Jasper and I into the hug. Everyone moved away to give us
a minute alone.

I hate to interrupt, but there’s another pack
heading your way. They just went past the clearing coming from the
east.

Jasper growled. “Damn it.” He wiped his arm
across his face and I followed him closer to what was left of our
pack and Luke’s. We’d been lucky and only lost six of Luke’s Majs.
Luke came to stand beside us.

“What’s happening?”

“We’re getting company. Ternach, did you see
how many?”

It’s one of the packs I used on Rainen’s.
It’s about a hundred and fifty strong. You need to disappear.

He was right. Jasper nodded and grabbed his
pack. “Everyone clear out!”

I watched as Luke tried to pull Mel away from
Trent’s final resting place.

“Mel, Love, we have to go. Dying won’t
help.”

“I can’t leave him.”

My throat tightened. “Mel… I… I know this is
probably not anything like what you’re feeling right now, but I
think I might know a bit how you feel.” She looked up at me and
frowned. “You see, just before Jasper and I crossed back over here
in the spring, well, I found out I was pregnant.”

Mel glanced to my belly and I shook my
head.

“When I was trying to save Damian I died.
Emelly was able to bring me back, but the baby didn’t make it.” I
had to clear my throat as the memories flashed through my head.

“Oh, Hayden. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shrugged. “Some of it was because there was
no point. I didn’t want to bring it up. It was also because… well,
I was ashamed that I had lived and it hadn’t. I feel selfish for
thinking of this stupid war when I should have been thinking about
what was best for it. Everyone tried to convince me either to stay
in the other world or to just come home and wait until it was born,
but I didn’t listen. It’s my fault it died.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“Not exactly how it would happen, no, but I
should have known it would.” I put a hand on her arm. “I can’t
change what I did and didn’t do, Mel, and for that reason I will
always wonder what would have happened had I done things
differently. The only thing I can do is make sure we win this war
so that it didn’t die for nothing.” I looked into her dark brown
eyes. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “We’ll
make sure neither of them died for nothing.”

I gave her a sad smile. “Come. We have to get
moving.”

Mel kissed her hand and placed it on the
fresh grave. “I love you, Trent.” She took a deep breath, stood and
shifted before trotting to where Luke was sitting, waiting for her.
He licked the end of her nose. I turned and ran into Jasper’s
chest. His eyes were the saddest I’d ever seen them.

“You kept all of that from me?”

I felt the blood rise to my face and I
shrugged. “Let’s go. I don’t feel like burying anyone else
today.”

He frowned but didn’t push the issue as I ran
to Dodge and swung on. We all loped off to catch up with the
others.

*****

I got our blankets ready for the night and
watched as Jasper instructed a blue bird to deliver our location to
Damian and the others. He glanced to where Luke and Mel lay
together. Luke smoothed her hair while she sobbed quietly into his
chest. Jasper’s shoulders slumped and he ran a hand over his face
before turning away. I expected him to come to bed but found that I
wasn’t very surprised when he walked in the opposite direction
toward the creek. I struggled with my options. Should I go to him?
Maybe he wanted time alone. I’d have given anything to be able to
read his feelings.

He can’t always be the strong one, my
love.

I frowned. “What are you, my marriage
counselor?” I whispered.

Your what?

“Never mind. I know. I just… this is going to
open up a can of worms I thought I’d be able to put behind us.” I
stood. “Do me a favor, would you? Try not to listen. This is
between me and him.”

The moons were hidden behind the clouds and I
tripped a few times in the darkness trying to get to the creek. I
found Jasper sitting on a fallen tree facing the water.

“It’s a good thing this mission isn’t
dependent on stealth, Shlova. I think Dodge can walk through bush
more quietly than you just did.”

I frowned. “Are you being mean or funny?”

He blew out of his nose. “Am I ever mean to
you, Hayden?” He sounded so tired.

I put a hand on his shoulder. “No.
Never.”

He put a hand over mine. “Why did you never
tell me how you felt? It’s not like I never asked.” He reached back
with his other hand and I gave him my other one as well. “Do you
think I blame you?”

I tried to step away from him but he refused
to let go. It had been that one question I had been avoiding all
these months. One can of worms coming right up, I thought to
myself. I took a deep breath. “Don’t you blame me, Jasper? How can
you not? Doesn’t some little part of you ever think, ‘well if she
just would have listened to me, I’d be well on my way to being a
dad’? I mean, come on, Hun. How many different scenarios did you
give me to try and get me to pick one? But I didn’t, did I? I just
went ahead and did my own thing just like I always do. You never
think that if I wasn’t so fucking stubborn it never would have
died?” I closed my eyes and got ready to be yelled at, got ready to
hear that yes, deep down he did blame me, did hate me a little for
what had happened.

He shook his head. “By the moons, Hayden,
have you been going through each day for the past few months
thinking I was mad at you?” He took a deep breath. “How can I blame
you when this was just as much my fault as yours?”

“How in the world was this your fault? You
tried to talk me out of it, remember?”

He nodded. “I do. I also remember not making
you stay there. I never told you you couldn’t come, I never said I
refused to cross over until it was born… I could have given you no
option at all and we’d still be there well on our way to being
parents.” He let go of one of my hands and pulled me around so that
I was facing him. I stared at the ground between us and swallowed
hard.

“This wasn’t your fault,” I whispered.

He pulled me closer to him. “And it wasn’t
yours.”

“Why are you so nice? Why couldn’t you just
freak out and yell at me every once in a while?”

He tilted my head up so I was looking at him
and he smiled. “I’ve thought about it once or twice.”

I frowned. “So why haven’t you?”

He shrugged. “It wouldn’t make a difference
anyway. If you have your mind made up, it wouldn’t matter how I
tried telling you something.” He tucked my hair behind my ears.
“You’re stubborn that way.”

I started to object and he silenced me with a
kiss. I remembered what Ternach had said about Jasper always being
the strong one. Somehow, here he was once again making me feel
better. I looked into his eyes and put my hands on his face.

“How are you doing?” I ran my thumb over his
cheek and traced the scar there. He shrugged. “No, really, tell
me.”

“I’m alright.” He tried to look away and I
held him in place. He swallowed hard. “Really, I’m fine.”

“Jasper, I know how close you were to those
boys. I know how important family is to you. Don’t tell me you’re
fine.”

He closed his eyes and my throat closed at
the sight of the tears that rolled onto my hands. I sat beside him
on the log then pulled his head to my chest.

“Oh, god, Hayden.” All of his strength seemed
to leave him and he slipped off of the log onto his knees. I
maneuvered him around so that his head was in my lap. I smoothed
his hair. His arms wrapped around my waist and he clung to me, his
sobs raking through his body. I managed to keep mine from exploding
out of my chest but my tears won the battle and slid down my face.
I stayed quiet and just let him get it out.

We stayed in this position until well after
he had stopped crying. Neither one of us said anything. I played
with his curls and noticed how the few silver hairs that were
appearing shone as the clouds moved away from the moons. I leaned
over and kissed the side of his face softly. He opened his eyes and
straightened, used the side of his tunic to wipe his face then
pulled me off of the log to his chest. His lips pressed against my
forehead and he took a deep breath.

“I love you.” His voice was hoarse from
crying but had lost the half dead sound it had carried a half hour
before. I brushed some stray curls out of his eyes.

“I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?” I frowned.

“About trying to get you away without your
knowing.” He looked so embarrassed I had to smile.

“It’s alright. I understand.” I wasn’t lying.
I wanted nothing more than to lock him in a cave until this was
done.

He grinned sheepishly. “How did you convince
Dodge to bring you back?”

“I told him that if I felt him turn away from
where we were supposed to be going that I was going to jump off of
him no matter how high up we were.”

His eyes widened. “Would you have?”

I laughed. “At that very moment, yes. Now,
I’m not so sure. I could have caught myself with a grey wave I
suppose, but you know how much luck I have with that.”

He laughed and I warmed at the sound of it. I
kissed him softly. The night was cooling off quickly and I snuggled
into him, enjoying how warm he was.

“Are you getting cold?” He chuckled at my
raised eyebrow. “Alright, then, let’s go to bed, Shlova.” He stood
and pulled me up. I didn’t argue.

*****

I was pulled from my sleep as I felt Jasper
get up and tuck the blankets around me to trap in the heat. He
sensed that I wasn’t asleep and gave my shoulder a squeeze to
reassure me everything was alright. It was still dark but the moons
were bright and I could see all of the packs that surrounded ours.
It had been almost two weeks since the battle that had taken Trent
from us. The thought of my nephew tightened my throat and I took a
deep breath. Jasper glanced back at the feeling and I smiled to
show I was alright. I watched him walk toward another figure that
was leaning against a tree. From the hunched shoulders I could tell
it was Luke. To see my brother-in-law in the daytime you would
never have guessed he’d just lost a son. He was alert, full of
energy…normal. Well, except for the sadness that replaced the usual
mischievous look in his deep brown eyes. The only time he looked as
though he’d been affected was at night when he thought no one was
looking. Every night, he’d hold Mel until she slept. Once he was
sure she was sound asleep he would get up and find a place without
too many beings around where he would go sit by himself. More than
once I’d felt Jasper tense behind me as if he was about to get up.
Each time he would simply lay still.

Jasper quietly made his way to his brother’s
side and sat down. Luke jerked, obviously startled out of his
thoughts. I watched as my mate put a hand on his shoulder. Luke
nodded. The two of them sat and looked to the north. If they were
talking it was too quietly for me to make out any words. I snuggled
back into my blankets.

Is everything alright, my love?
Ternach’s voice was just a sleepy whisper in my head.

“Everything’s fine.” I made sure to whisper
so I wouldn’t wake anyone. “Jasper got up to see how Luke was doing
and it woke me up.”

Alright. Nothing’s changed for tomorrow?

“No. So long as there are no interruptions,
the winged ones will fly some beings over the river while others
take the bridge and the magic wielders that can displace will speed
things along as well. It will save time that way.” I felt the
butterflies start to bump into each other in my stomach. “God,
Ternach, will it work? What if they’re hiding on the other side
just waiting for us? I just… I have a real bad feeling about this.”
I’d argued with Jasper and the rest of our friends over the sanity
of our plan. I didn’t like it and I’d told them so, but I’d had no
facts to base my feeling on, not even a dream, and I’d been
overruled. We had to get across the river; that was all there was
to it, and this was the quickest way we were going to be able to do
so.

It’s probably just a bad feeling because
you’ll be closer to Paradin. I’ve been on the other side, Hayden.
There’s no one there. For one thing, they can’t see the bridge
therefore they have no idea where you’ll be crossing. I’ll jump
over first thing in the morning and make sure it’s clear before you
start.