Destiny's Bride (30 page)

“Lone Eagle, if we tell everyone the whole story, they will know you deceived them. I cannot bear to do anything to dishonor you among your people.” The decision to leave her child behind suddenly became logical. “My wonderful Lone Eagle, I do not know what lies ahead for me, but I do know how white people feel about Indians. I don’t want to take my son, our son, into that hatred, so leaving Two Clouds with you will protect and assure he is loved. My only request is don’t let him forget me. Tell him how much his mother loves him and remind him every day that I will cherish him until the day I die.

Inside, Cecile felt like she was dying. Her life had been turned upside down by just one man visiting the village. Once again, she was starting another life chapter, and she couldn’t imagine how it would turn out without Lone Eagle and Two Clouds.

Chapter Thirty-four

The decision had been made and there was no going back. Cecile gathered the few things she needed for the five-day trip to Castroville. Funny how she’d been so close to civilization yet so far away this entire time. She slept only a few hours in the early morning, and woke to Two Clouds’ happy chirping noises. He could survive without her; she knew that. Other women would nurse him, as she’d done with another’s child before. It wouldn’t be long until he was weaned. He was growing up much too quickly. She held back tears when she realized she wouldn’t be there to see him take his first steps.  The thought of Lone Eagle taking another wife hurt just as much.

She pulled herself together and passed Two Clouds to Bright Star for their daily outing. She looked at Lone Eagle who sat helplessly on the bed. “My dearest, I know this is hard. Telling everyone is going to be awful. There are going to be questions and I need you to support me right now.”

Her words evidently struck a note. He straightened his shoulders and looked at her with unspoken love. “You’re right. Knowing you will no longer be my woman is more painful than the knife wound that brought me to you, but my feelings do not change reality.” He clasped her hand. “Let us go see my parents.”

***

As expected, when they gathered everyone together, the news was not well received. Despite the sadness on faces she’d come to love, everyone understood her need to leave the tribe and let her parents know she still lived…even search for a former husband she’d long thought dead.  Her decision to leave her child with the man everyone believed to be his father earned her hugs and pats on the back, though speaking the words burned her tongue. Would the tribe be as accepting given knowledge that Lone Eagle wasn’t Two Clouds’ father? Despite harboring momentary bitter feelings, she reminded herself these people had welcomed, loved, and taught her to be one of their own.

Rain Woman took the news the hardest. With tears glistening on her wrinkled cheeks, she took Cecile’s hands in hers. “I pray that Wakan Tanka will bless you and keep you safe. We will be together again, my daughter. Maybe not in this world but in the next.”

Cecile choked back tears. She knew if she opened the floodgates there would be no stopping. She still had to bid farewell to her friend, Little Dove.

After informing everyone, Cecile had no tears left.  Saying goodbye once was hard enough; she wasn’t sure she could look at a sea of faces and hold fast to her decision. Still, her reasoning didn’t erase the disappointed looks when she’d begged them all to not be present when she left.  Those images kept playing in her mind.

Singing Sparrow offered to watch the baby to allow Cecile and Lone Eagle one last private time in their home. Cecile wanted to spend the night in the arms of her husband and pretend that tomorrow would be no different than any other day.

They ate dinner in uncomfortable silence; neither of them had much of an appetite. Cecile found it difficult to swallow past the lump in her throat, and although she wanted to make conversation, the right words just wouldn’t come. What could she say to make things better?

Lone Eagle pushed his half-eaten dinner aside and started packing the supplies. Cecile carefully folded her Sioux clothing and shoved them beneath a stack of extra blankets. She wouldn’t be welcome in Castroville dressed in doeskin and moccasins.  She pulled out the worn and over-sized men’s clothing she worn on the day she arrived in camp so they’d be ready in the morning. Her boots sat beside her attire.  She’d ‘stolen’ the rabbit skin blanket used to wrap Two Clouds in the day he was born and tucked it in her nearly empty bag. His sweet baby smell still lingered on the pelt. Tears spilled down her cheeks and splashed onto her valise. She knew for sure what a breaking heart felt like.

Needing to feel Lone Eagle’s body next to hers one last time, she walked up behind him. Putting her arms around his waist, she rested her head on his shoulder. He immediately turned and took her in his arms, burying his face in her hair while he tightened his embrace. While seeking her lips, he grasped her buttocks with both hands and flattened her pelvis against his.

Cecile tangled her hands in his long hair and pulled his mouth harder against hers. She wanted him to remember their passion. Even if he kissed another woman, Cecile wanted it to be her lips he remembered. Even though her mind had touched on the thought before, now her cringing turned to overwhelming jealousy. Lone Eagle holding another woman? How could she leave him?

Lone Eagle’s passion erased the thought from her mind. He ravaged her neck, trailing his lips along her throat. Goose bumps peppered her skin. She ground against him, undulating against his erection.

“Oh, Green Eyes,” he moaned. “I need you so.” He untied the string at her neckline and let her dress fall to the floor, then stripped off his own clothing. Lowering her to the bed, he covered her body and bent his head to suckle her breasts. He gazed up at her, milk coloring his lips and dribbling from the corner of his mouth. Licking it away, he moved to her other breast. His teeth gently tugged at her hardened nipple.

Cecile’s hands roamed over his muscled body. Holding his hardened member in her hands, she marveled at the size of it while feeling a lubricating wetness form between her legs. She wanted him inside her… needed him. “Lone Eagle, take me. Take me now, please!”

“I love it when you beg.” His voice was almost a whisper as he straddled her hips and teased her with his hardness.

Suddenly he plunged inside.

Cecile kept pace, matching each downward stroke with an upward thrust. Faster and faster, harder and harder. She was the animal and he had the reins.

In one final effort, Lone Eagle released inside her. His body went limp and he rolled off her and lay panting.

She turned to look at him, her insides still contracting from the passion. Slowly, the sensation disappeared and she relaxed. The memory of this night would stay in her heart forever.

***

A dove cooing outside and the dim rays of morning sunlight filtering through the smoke opening woke Lone Eagle. How he dreaded this day, but he reached out and shook Cecile’s shoulder to wake her. With the smell of her still clinging to his body, he hurriedly dressed so he could bring the horses around.  He carried her valise out.

Cecile donned Walt’s old pants and shirt, still conflicted by all the memories washing over her again and again. She pulled on and tied her boots and then stood and looked, for the last time, at the home she’d come to love. Brushing tears aside, she stepped through the door and let the flap drop behind her.

Lone Eagle stood with the horses. “You saddled one?” She’d learned to ride without.

“I… I thought it best since you are dressed….” His gaze traveled over her, his face showing his dismay. She’d combed out her braids and pulled her hair back and secured it with a piece of string. The wool shirt and loose fitting trousers were quite a contrast to what he was used to seeing.

“I’m still the same woman,” she said, wanting to rekindle the spark absent from his eyes.

“I know, and that is why I ache. Somewhere in that white man’s clothing is a woman I love with all my heart. You may disguise your body, but those green eyes can still stir my want in an instant.”

The smile on his face appeared forced as he helped her mount her horse. Cecile hoped their last night had given him pleasure enough to sustain her memory for a very long time.

Chapter Thirty-five

Emptiness crept over Cecile as they rode away from the village. She couldn’t tell if the pain in her chest was her heart breaking or just her breasts, too full from missed feedings. She rode in silence, fighting the urge to look back. If she did, she might change her mind. She’d made the right decision, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Lone Eagle rode closer to her. He took her hand from the saddle horn and held it in his. There were no words to ease the moment. For the first time, his presence didn’t make things easier, but she smiled at him for trying. A steady stream of tears trickled down her face and she wondered if they’d ever stop.

They rode in silence for quite a while. The only sound, the clopping of the horses’ hooves. “Lone Eagle, are…” Cecile calmed enough to speak. “are you going to be all right?”

His only response was a curt nod.

Eventual dialogue consisted of casual comments about the scenery. She avoided any discussion of Two Clouds or the rest of the tribe. It was better not to bring emotions back to the surface and deepen the wound.

When they stopped to camp for the evening, Cecile was exhausted from a full day of horseback riding. “I don’t look forward to the torture of the hard, rocky ground. I’ve become accustomed to my soft buffalo robes.”  Her attempt at conversation brought only a sadder look to Lone Eagle’s face.

He fell asleep quickly, but Cecile’s full breasts ached, and leaking milk soaked her front. Tiptoeing to her valise, she found Walt’s other shirt and used it to bind her chest as tightly as pain permitted. Hours passed before sleep claimed her, but even in dreams, she still wrestled against the strong urge to beg Lone Eagle to take her back to the village.

***

As Rain Woman had suggested, Cecile ingested a bitter tea intended to dry her milk, but by the fourth day, the journey wore on her.  She felt tired, dirty and cranky, and her heart ached from missing Two Clouds.  Lone Eagle’s resilience amazed her. How did he spend countless hours in the saddle and never look the worse for wear?

The sun was setting when they stopped for camp. They bantered lightly over a meager dinner. During a moment of silence, she noticed tenseness in her husband’s jaw. “Tomorrow we will part company. I will ride with you only until the town is in sight. I dare not get too close. I don’t think I would be welcome.”

She stiffened at his words.  “I agree. It’s not wise to put yourself in danger.” She’d dreaded this moment—the end of the trail and time to say goodbye to this man she loved so dearly.

The prairie grew dark, bringing with it a slight chill. Lone Eagle lit a fire, rolling scrub brush to feed the flames, Her love for him felt as intense as the generated heat. Despite trying to hold her emotions in check, tears escaped. She brushed them away and vowed to make their last night another memorable one.

While he spread the blankets for sleeping, Cecile stole away for a few moments to wash. She dug into her valise to find her hairbrush and a packet of sweet-smelling herbs from Rain Woman. She stood in the shadows, removed her clothing and cleaned herself as best she could, then rubbed her body with the fragrant herbs. She loosened her thick hair and vigorously ran the brush through it, trying to remove the knots and dust. Wearing only the oversized shirt, she left it unbuttoned.

When she appeared from the shadows, Lone Eagle had already stretched out on their bed. “Is this a vision I see?” His pleasure was displayed in his smile, and even more by the instant bulge created by his hardening manhood.

She lowered her body next to his, bolding reaching out to caress his erection. He took a gasping breath, then relaxed beneath her touch. “Get ready, my husband. I intend to ride you long and hard until my memory is burned deep into your soul.”

***

They lay, bodies entwined, totally spent after making love several times. Lone Eagle gazed into her green eyes. “When I think of how empty my lodge will be without the sound of your laughter, the feel of you in my arms, and the sight of your beauty every morning, my heart no longer wants to beat.”

Her eyes rimmed with wetness.

Despite the sadness in his heart, this was her decision and he would abide by it. He didn’t want to make it harder on her. Pulling her closer, he tried to form a bond that would last for eternity. There would never be another love in his life like his Green Eyes. He struggled to stay awake for as long as possible knowing that once sleep came so would the morning... and he’d have to say goodbye.

The morning sun crept out to cover the never-ending flatness of the prairie and woke Green Eyes. Lone Eagle was already up and dressed, and had the horses ready.

“Get up, sleepy head,” he said, trying to keep the mood light.

She stretched and yawned, and shifted her body from side to side, in an obvious attempt to work out some kinks. She flashed a smile at him, but her lips became a thin line and her brow furrowed.  “I was just remembering last night, but now….