Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (43 page)

After a few minutes alone, I hear the door open behind me. I assume it’s Lacey coming after me, to call me out as she did last night. I realize it’s not when I hear the timid voice behind me speak.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” I say quietly, unsure what this girl’s after but knowing she’s definitely not my type. The woman is small, short in frame, mousy brunette hair, and dark brown eyes that won’t so much as look at any part of me directly.

“I’m not stalking you or anything but I saw you come out here.”

Giving her a genuine smile, I reply, “That’s stalking. If you’re following me out into a dark alley, then technically that’s stalking and I gotta say, you’re not very good at it.”

She smiles back, the building’s light behind her creating a glow over her tiny body. “I guess you’re right. Sorry. I was wondering . . .”

“Yeah?” I return, leaning against the rail and crossing my feet in front of me. I brace for the request that always comes.

A single night with me in her bed.

A chased orgasm, several if the mood strikes us.

One hour of my time, a lifetime left for her to forget I ever existed.

Timidly and while avoiding my stare, she looks to the ground before speaking. “You’re Hayden, right? The singer of Despair?” I nod, so she continues, “The guy who plays the keyboard in your band . . .”

My eyebrows rise, and I feel them strain in surprise. The little woman with amber eyes and brown hair has shocked me with her inquiry to Travis. “Travis Nikels?”

“Yeah. Is he . . .”

“He . . . what?”

“Is he gay?”

A laugh I’d not heard myself use in fucking months takes over and fills the small space between us on the back porch. Her eyes dart away into the night behind me when she realizes the answer went without saying. “No, babe. Trav’s not gay. So, if you’re interested . . .”

Her head shakes back and forth quickly. “No, not at all. My cousin is, though. He said the keyboardist looks all moody and sent me back here to ask you.”

“Well, he’s right about that. He’s definitely a moody son of a bitch.” I laugh again shortly, but this time she laughs with me. “What’s your name?”

“Kate.”

“Well, if
you
happen to be interested in Travis for yourself, I’d be happy to mention it to him. He’s not seeing anyone as far as I know.”

She blushes and looks toward the ground. I can see right here that she’s intrigued, if not interested by the idea. “No, that’s okay.”

I pass her standing in my way and open the door as she timidly crawls under my arm to get through it. “Well, Kate, thanks for the company,” I tell her with honesty.

“Thanks for the info on Travis. I’ll tell Derek to keep looking.”

“Sheridan Michaels likes men, in case your cousin is interested.” It’s a cheap shot, but it’s available and I’m in the mood to take it.

“Thank you,” she answers politely, smiling through the crowd as she disappears.

Still grinning to myself, I walk back to the bar and then my good mood fades as I see red. Dan is now sitting at
my
table, with his arm around Jenna’s chair and her hand on his chest. He’s getting too comfortable in my space.

“Hey, asshat. Your friends are over . . .” I point to where he should be seated, “there.”

Jenna looks up at me in disappointment. Probably because she finds this tall string-bean attractive in some ridiculous way.

Lifting his hands in surrender, he pleads in his bullshit British accent, “Go easy, Flynn. I was just sayin’ hello to the young lady.”

Looking down at Jenna, I roll my eyes and let out a hiss of disgust as I pull out my chair. “Go,” I say to her and watch her eyes dance with gratitude. She’s not unaware of our relationship being an arrangement of convenience.

She stands, kisses my cheek and follows an already walking away Dan to his group, leaving me alone in the crowd at a pathetic table for one.

“You must not have flirted with her like you did me earlier,” Lacey says while putting another beer in front of me and picking up my now empty one.

With defeat, I admit, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

Laughing through her words, she responds, “That’s not it. You’re just not with the right girl.”

There is no right girl.

“What time are you getting off?” I ask, glancing at my watch and noting it’s almost midnight.

“Getting off?” she asks, her eyebrows rising as her eyes dance with humor.

“Work, crazy.”

“Oh.” She fakes disinterest. “Shelby said I can go anytime now that the band’s done.”

“How’d you get here?”

“Travis. He’s picking me up when I call.”

“Text him. Let the crab-ass sleep. I’ll take you home.” Her uncertain expression tells me Travis has finally filled her in on his version of who I am. “Jesus, tell him I’ll be a gentleman.”

She smiles, grabs her phone from her apron and texts Travis. “You know him well, huh?”

“Yeah . . . I do.”

He just doesn’t know
me
at all.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Lacey

WHEN HAYDEN DROVE me home Monday night, we made plans to go shopping this week for the birthday party Ace is throwing Raegan on Thursday. He was insistent we celebrate the event the day of, rather than wait until the weekend when Travis didn’t have to work the next morning. That is what led to us standing in a crowded party store shopping for accessories.

“Blue or green?” I ask, holding up streamers and being circled by kids in the narrow aisle.

“Green,” he answers without looking at me or the samples I’m holding in my hand for him to review and decide.

“Paper or plastic plates?”

“Paper,” he returns, still looking at anything but me. He’s been somewhat distant all day. When he picked me up at Travis’s this afternoon, I sensed something was wrong. Then, on the drive over he hardly said a word. He’s merely been going through the motions.

“Missionary or doggie style,” I whisper quietly to avoid the gawking mothers who can’t help but stare at Hayden. I can’t blame them for envying me. It would be nice if they had more to envy, but whatever.

Finally, my bold question captures his attention. He looks up at me from his study of the invitations and smirks, but it’s halfhearted. “Neither,” he says. “I want you on top.”

I don’t allow his response of insinuation to deter me. “I wouldn’t have imagined you’d like that.”

Dropping the colored napkins he was holding, he strides to me casually. “Well, I do. The thought of you looking down on me as you come excites me.”

I don’t look away as I know he expects me to. Instead, I hold his controlled stare with one of my own and say with a straight face, “Pity
that’s
how you like it, because I like it in the ass.”

“Oh, Jesus,” he replies through a laugh. “Is this
you
flirting?”

“No, I got desperate. What’s going on with you today?”

“What do you mean?”

“I
mean,
you’re acting like a teenage girl who just got her period.”

“Cute, Lacey.” He shakes his head while grinning.

“Well?”

“Nothing. I’m in a mood.”

“A mood?”

“Sorry. Just have a lot going on.”

With his face full of worry, I continue my song and dance in trying to get him to come around. I nudge his shoulder. “Lights on or lights off?”

“If she’s a dog, lights have to be off. With you, on.”

“Shower or bathtub sex?”

I sense I’m wearing him down. He snaps, “Is sex all you think about when you look at me?”

“No! Not at all. I was playing. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t; let’s go.”

Grabbing the basket of things I have in my hands, he walks past me to the checkout.

During the drive back to Trav’s, I stay quiet. I’ve only been around Hayden a few times and this ‘mood’ he’s in has disrupted our usual flirtatious banter. He has me feeling bad for him and I don’t know what’s causing him to pull back.

Hours later, Hayden stands behind the bathroom door with impatience, waiting for me to finish getting ready. He’s another oblivious male who doesn’t understand a girl’s need to primp before going out. “You ready?”

“Five minutes. Have some patience. This takes work,” I snap back.

“Putting on makeup and curling your hair is not work, woman.”
Says the perfect man who naturally looks like he does.
“Let’s go,” he says back before I’m able to finish mentally cursing him.

Fifteen minutes later, I open the door and find him standing on the other side with his arms braced on either side of the jamb, waiting impatiently for me to finish. When he looks up from the floor and sees me, I watch him visibly take in a breath and not exhale it. His eyes move up and down my body with a mix of appreciation and annoyance.

“What?” I say, smoothing down my black pencil skirt and looking down to recheck my choice of blouse. It’s a grey silk piece that chokes my neck in the front, but the back is the main attraction. I wore my hair up tonight, unsure how crowded and sweaty the bar we’re headed to will be. “What’s wrong with this outfit?”

“Not a fucking thing,” he answers through a rough whisper.

“Good, then can we go?” I slip under his arm and through the door to make my way out into the living room.

When I pass him, I hear another intake of breath then feel him come up behind me, realizing he just got a full view of my backside. “Travis isn’t going to like that outfit.” The heat from his body is against mine and I lean back for only a fraction of a second to let myself enjoy it. “I fucking love it, though,” he finishes in my ear.

“Well, it’s a good thing
he’s
not wearing it.”

I feel his finger run the expanse of my naked spine, top to bottom. “It’s too bad you
are
wearing it.”

I freeze, waiting with bated breath for more words of attraction. I love when he talks to me like this and don’t care what it says about my sense of desperation. Whether he’s kidding or not doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I don’t ever remember a man’s touch making me feel as desired. Until meeting Hayden, I believed this was only found in books and movies.

“Flirting?” I ask in jest, trying to pull myself from his hold, but he stops me with an arm around my waist.

“Nope. Truth.” His words could have me removing my clothes if he asked me nicely, or not at all.

Grabbing his hand around my middle, I pull him forward as I go. “Let’s go, Hayden.”

Knowing the house is ready for Raegan’s surprise party, I’m looking forward to having a drink so we make our way to Royal’s Pub downtown. Raegan was home all day with Deck and Bean. Bean’s job was to keep Raegan busy so she didn’t pester Travis asking what he got her for her present. Bean’s friend and old neighbor, Mary, is watching Decklan tonight, and Sarah is hanging at Trav’s to meet Mel and Shelby so they can wait for us to get back since Sarah’s not old enough to be in Royal’s after nine.

“Have you been to this place before?” I ask Hayden while looking out the window of his Land Rover. I’m trying to avoid his stare; eyes on the road, then back to me, in constant repeat motion.

“Yeah, it’s an okay place. It’s nothing like The Ward.”

“Do they have music?”

“Yes,” he answers. “They have Raegan’s kind.”

I scrunch my nose in disgust. Raegan Simmons listens to the same music her parents did, Neil Diamond being her absolute idol. I may listen to ‘rhyming trash’ as Hayden refers to it, but at least it’s not wedding or funeral music.

“So, do you dance?” The thought of Hayden dancing makes my insides clench. I imagine his moves mirroring his dirty words.

“Are you asking me to dance with you?”

“Maybe.”

Taking his eyes off the road, he turns to me and says, “Then yes, I dance.”

“Do you dirty dance?”

“Are you asking me to dirty dance with you?”

“Maybe,” I repeat my previous answer.

“Then yes, for you I’ll dance dirty.”

Once we get to the bar, Ace’s red and black Harley is parked outside the entrance, and Trav’s Jeep is in the closest spot available. They’ve been here a while already if the traffic in the parking lot is anything to go by. No one scores good parking spots in a place like this at this time in the evening.

“Gang’s all here,” Hayden informs while opening the door for me.

As soon as the door opens, we’re assaulted by a very animated but exasperated Marlee who looks absolutely adorable in her black mini dress and red high heels. Even pregnant, Marlee’s gorgeous in a youthful cheerleader kind of way. She’s glowing.

“Rae’s drinking more than Ace would prefer. Travis is losing patience with her thirty questions about what he got her for her birthday, and Toby is already wanting to turn in for the night. I married an old man.” She announces all of this without a single stutter.

Hayden bends to kiss Marlee’s head. “Well, hello to you, too, sweetheart.” She smiles against his chest as he offers her a sweet, reassuring hug. He winks at me as she sighs and hugs him back with care. “Let’s go find the others.”

Marlee leads us to a table toward the back of the overcrowded bar where everything is just as she said it was. Ace is standing over Raegan from behind, holding her shoulders in his large hands. From the looks of it, he’s trying to keep her seated.

Travis is on one side of her; two empty beer bottles sit in front of him and he’s working on his third that was just delivered. Toby opens his arms for Marlee to fall into his lap, and she does immediately and kisses his lips quick with a hard “mwah.”

“Who’s designated tonight?” Hayden asks, looking for the waitress’s attention. She ignores him and plows forward to her next table where a group of young women are giggling hysterically at each other.

The bar is loud and I find Hayden was right about the music. Billy Joel is blasting through the speakers. People old enough to be our parents mingle throughout the dance floor, and the wait staff is just as aged.

Marlee speaks to everyone over the table. “Toby and I aren’t staying. This baby is already wearing me down and I have seven months yet to go. Toby’s tired, too, although I have no idea why. He’s not carrying a small peanut of a human inside his body.”