Devotion (7 page)

He tried to hide the fact that something was going on, but Juliet wasn’t fooled. And that something, she feared, was not going to be good. For either one of them.

****

The Rushton clinic was located in one of the older buildings of central Nashville. As he drove up, Kellen took note of the large wooden sign, oval in shape, fastened to the front of the red brick exterior. He stopped the car at a double-door entrance thrown open to admit the evening’s visitors.

After leaving their car in the care of a valet, he escorted Juliet inside. In an automatic gesture, he kept a guiding hand against the small of her back while he took in the results of her work. The interior was beautifully appointed—fresh and newly refurbished. Recessed ceiling lights shone down upon a hand-painted mural of rolling green hills, wildflowers, and trees that covered the top portion of the walls. Patient seating was complimented by end tables full of magazines and topped by thick, leafy green plants. A small tropical-style aquarium and child-sized tables with plastic crates of toys nearby polished off the décor. Directly opposite the entrance was a reception area backed by rows of metal shelving for patient files.

Kellen was beyond impressed. Juliet had been instrumental in bringing this project from concept to fruition, and the end result was amazing. He watched her, his regard unnoticed as she accepted a few ready greetings and hugs.

Her focus didn’t stray from him for long though. Excited and eager, she led the way through the waiting room. “Come on back and see the rest!”

Sliding carefully past the close press of wait staff and visitors, Kellen followed her lead. They walked through a doorway that led to the second half of the clinic. Here, exam rooms and offices formed a circumference.

“There’s Pastor Gene, and Tim.” Juliet tilted her head to indicate a small group of people who mixed together not far away. When they stepped up, Juliet initiated a prompt introduction. “Kellen, I’d like you to meet Tim Parkson. Tim, this is my husband, Kellen Rossiter.”

“Tim, it’s good to meet you.” They exchanged cordial nods and a handshake.

Juliet slipped her arm through Kellen’s, and her fingertips weaved through his; the fit was perfect. “In addition to being part of the clinic team, Tim’s a new parishioner at Trinity, and the newest member of our weekly Bible study group.”

“I’ve been hoping we’d get to meet, Kellen,” Tim said. “I have to compliment Juliet. She’s incredible, and she’s done a fantastic job getting this clinic off the ground.”

Tim’s comment served to remind Kellen of how long it had been since he had gone to church with Juliet and cued him in further that her faith remained strong, and important—important enough that its roots had grown far and deep despite his recent neglect and failure to do the same with his walk with God. His own roots needed to return to nourishing soil, and he knew it.

The recognition was disturbing.

“Tim found out what I was doing and volunteered his services.” Juliet gave Tim a grateful look. “We’re very lucky to have his help.”

Tim shook his head and arched a brow. “I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. You missed your calling. You’re an exceptionally gifted salesperson. I was contributing before I even knew what hit.”

Juliet slipped a stray curl of hair behind her ear. She ducked her head and blushed. “Sure, sure, sure. You recognized a need and you’re helping. I appreciate it, and so will the families who come here for medical care.”

“What is it you’ll be doing, Tim?” Kellen regarded the man. Tall. Blond hair and blue eyes. Same age group as himself and Juliet. He possessed an appealing, bookish vibe. Steadiness. Maybe it was his own guilty conscience that did the prodding, but Kellen found himself looking at Tim’s ring finger. It was empty. That caused Kellen to frown, given the easy, comfortable way Tim related to Juliet.

“I’m a psychologist. My work here will consist mostly of counseling teens in crisis. It’s my specialty.” He glanced at Juliet. “You don’t have anything to drink yet, Jules. Can I get you something?”

“I’ve got that covered,” Kellen cut in smoothly. “We just arrived, and I wanted the tour first, so we ignored everything else.” Tim stepped back, and tension eased from Kellen’s shoulders. Mission accomplished. “Juliet, I’ll be right back.”

At the bar, he retrieved two flutes of champagne then rejoined his wife, handing her one of the crystal glasses. She moved away from the people closest to her and turned toward him, cutting them off from the group so she could speak to him exclusively.

Her eyes sparkled more beautifully than the golden liquid that burst with life. “No tonic and lime tonight?”

“Absolutely not.”

Tim had moved on, thankfully, and Kellen used the private moment to stroke a fingertip slowly down her jaw line. “This is a celebration.”

He could have sworn she lit up, from the inside out. He tapped his flute against hers and they prepared to sip.

Unexpectedly, Juliet tilted her glass away; a teasing glint enlivened her eyes. “You realize, of course, that you’ve trusted me to handle a glass of champagne.”

Kellen widened his eyes in a display of mock horror. “What was I thinking?” Juliet giggled, and the sound played like a song through his heart. He regarded her tenderly. “Champagne changed my life, you know.”

This time Juliet’s eyes went wide; she gasped playfully. “Really? What a coincidence. It changed mine, too.” They shared a private smile, and Juliet winked at him. “Thank you, by the way.”

“For what?” Kellen looked around. “This is all you, love, and I’m incredibly proud.” He shifted slightly, wanting to alleviate the discomfort he felt for letting her down. “I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”

She nestled close. Her expression went soft, and full of forgiveness. “That’s OK. I know you’ve been busy, and you were tired. But I also want you to know I couldn’t have done any of this without you, and your support.” She kissed his cheek, then looked deep into his eyes, whispering, “You’re the most impossibly handsome and charming man. I’m a lucky woman.” She glanced back at Tim. “And…he means well, you know.”

Kellen didn’t bother stifling a smirk. “Obviously.”

Juliet rested her hand on his arm and gave a light laugh. “I like that even after eight years of marriage you still get jealous.”

Over the top of Juliet’s head, he looked Tim’s way. The man was deep in conversation with a few members of Trinity—Pastor Gene included. “I’m not worried. For example, he doesn’t know how much you prefer Juliet to Jules.”

“True. And you’ve never called me Jules. Even at the beginning.”

“I never will, either.”

She watched him, waiting to see where that statement might lead.

“Your name is poetry. I’ll never shorten it. I love it too much as is.”

Desire rippled through the air and encircled him, moving straight from her soul into his. “I’ve missed you so much lately.”

The words escaped in a quiet rush, giving voice to the ache he sensed within her. It had been way too long since they’d made love. A need for connection, for intimacy, swirled around them, but Kellen was finding it difficult to handle physicality with his wife right now. His heart was leading him to a place where he felt unworthy of sharing her body and spirit in such a sacred way.

“I’m sorry for that, too, Juliet.” He wanted to elaborate, knew he needed to elaborate, but the words just wouldn’t come. Tonight, he would find a way. Tonight he would revere her and touch her the way he always had, in the way that had always come to him so naturally.

Perhaps she sensed his confusion. When he didn’t continue right away, her brightness of demeanor went a little dim, but she kept on smiling, and kept on trying. Mentally, Kellen scrabbled for purchase—and failed.

She ended the moment by tucking her arm smoothly through his, directing them toward a group not far away. “Let’s do a lap of the room.”

****

As the party progressed, Kellen and Juliet mixed and mingled—sometimes side-by-side, sometimes making their way to separate groups. In those moments, Kellen found he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Her energy and passion for the project transformed into a radiance that not only drew people to her, it filled the room. She possessed a star power all her own, and that recognition claimed his focus, feeding a fresh and unexpected sense of wonder about his wife.

Kellen made ready to rejoin her, but first he wanted to grab a glass of ice water. The clinic was crowded now, packed with VIP’s, and the heat level inched upward.

Had he been too disconnected from her to realize the seamless way she had pulled this entire venture together? The busyness of her life, a level of busyness he had come to resent of late, made a lot more sense to him now. The recognition didn’t make the distance any easier to reconcile, but he looked at his wife’s world through a revised and very vivid frame of reference.

While he waited for his beverage, Kellen turned to watch her lean close and whisper to a nearby guest, then others approached and she performed introductions, touched an arm or two in a natural show of affection.

The dress she wore shimmered, flowing around her legs, capturing the dim overhead lights. Her hair danced around her shoulders. Swept into his observations, Kellen watched her chat with members of Rushton, answer some questions, and accept comments from guests who happened by. She tucked a wave of hair behind her ear as she leaned in to listen to a party attendee amidst the noise level of a full-throttle party.

“She’s a remarkable woman.” Reluctantly, Kellen turned away from watching Juliet when Pastor Gene stepped up and offered the compliment. “Furthermore, I like it when a husband watches his wife with such open adoration.”

“I’m amazed by what she’s accomplished. This has been a great night. Congratulations.”

Pastor Gene placed a drink order; he started to chuckle while his gaze traveled to the spot across the room where Juliet stood, now bathed in television lights. Microphone at the ready, a reporter seemed to be asking her questions. “Look how natural she is with the media. Wish I could say the same. I just finished an interview for
The
Tennessean
and can state without question that I’m not cut out for the spotlight. Too nerve wracking.”

Kellen laughed in commiseration, but then he noticed something that caused him to go utterly still. Juliet gestured for Tim to join her. He stepped up to Juliet’s side, and it looked like he began to answer some questions for the television crew as well. Once the interview concluded, the news team faded into the crowd. Juliet and Tim exchanged a long look, then burst into laughter, high-fiving. Juliet’s laughter carried to Kellen, unmistakable to him despite the mix of a hundred other conversations and background party noise.

When the pair shared a short, tight hug, Juliet’s flushed cheeks and bright smile spoke eloquently of a woman thoroughly enjoying herself and in her element.

“Kellen? Are you OK?”

Kellen snapped alert, remembering he wasn’t alone. He’d been caught gaping, and since he had to force his muscles to unwind, he was pretty sure had also been caught frowning at the vignette.

He couldn’t reply. Instead, thoughts of Chloe crowded in. Images of her moved through his mind and slayed his conscience. Emotional turmoil refused to let him rest and find enough peace to establish balance. His heart, his wife, and the woman he couldn’t seem to shake combined against him, and Kellen didn’t know how to escape the chaos.

Pastor Gene had known him for nearly nine years. The man had counseled Kellen and Juliet before their marriage, and remained a trusted advisor and friend, so Kellen braved it up enough to come a little bit clean. “I’ve been thinking about how many Sunday services I’ve missed lately.”

The statement wasn’t meant to placate, either. The evening shocked Kellen into realizing how much goodness he had missed, or simply ignored, during the past several months. No wonder his heart was in such turmoil. He was slipping away from God, his faith, and his marriage. Watching Juliet provided another solid wake up call to the distance his physical and emotional absence had caused between them. Juliet had continued to bloom within the love of the Trinity family. The result was pure radiance.

Meanwhile, what had straying away from fundamentals done to
him
?

Pastor Gene followed the path of Kellen’s gaze. He stepped into the breach caused by Kellen’s silence with a nudge and an intent look. “Tim is new, and he’s eager. He’s been tireless about his efforts to get this clinic going and become part of Trinity. Juliet’s only focus is you, though. Always has been.” The words sunk in. “I’m sure she misses you being with her at church, too, Kellen.” Another pause fell between them. Kellen could almost feel Pastor Gene testing the waters. “You’ve always been one of the guys I rely on to help motivate and energize our parishioners. You’ve always participated, and I’m grateful for that. You have the gift of sincerity and magnetism, and those are tools God can put to great use. I’ve missed seeing you at Trinity, too. The men’s fellowship group hasn’t been the same without you lately. You’re important.”

Used to be,
Kellen felt like saying.
Pastor Gene, if you could see the inner workings of my heart, you’d be shocked and horrified. I used to react so self-righteously when I read stories in the Bible about those who transgressed and stepped into what they knew were bad choices. Look at me now. Why am I finding it so difficult to rebuke what I know is wrong?

Pastor Gene didn’t condemn. He didn’t need to. The kind, gentle reminders accomplished the objective of prompting Kellen back home, to his faith.

And his marriage.

A chilly bead of condensation skated down the side of Kellen’s glass, then his fingertips. Genuinely contrite, he nodded, staring at the glistening lines of moisture instead of Pastor Gene. “I’m sorry for that absence. I’ll be there Sunday. I’m looking forward to it.”

He meant it, too. The conversation with Pastor Gene ended when Juliet approached, still aglow in the success of the evening. Her gaze touched Kellen with an intimacy and depth of feeling that worked supernatural warmth through his soul. Pastor Gene moved on as Kellen took hold of Juliet’s hand and kissed her cheek.