Devour (19 page)

“I’m very grateful to them but I’m also a minor. I’m still in school. I’m not being treated better than you, I wasn’t given special privileges. Stop playing martyr, Fay. You always tried to act like I was spoiled.”

“You were spoiled, but that’s beside the point. I’m busy, I’m gonna go.”

“Whatever,” I grumbled.

“Look,” she sighed in exasperation, “I’m working, ok? I’ll call you later if you really need to talk to me and aren’t just sulking about a boy or something.”

“That’s what sisters are supposed to be for,” I countered.

“Not me. Bye, Clara.”

“Bye,” I said but she’d already hung up.

So, I hurriedly tried Addison’s number. If I didn’t get someone to talk to, I didn’t know what I’d do. Although, Addison hadn’t talked to me a whole lot since my parents died, she thought I blamed her on some subconscious level and avoided me like the uncomfortable situation I was, I still felt like I could call her. So I tried.

It rang and rang. Then she picked up.

“Clara? Something wrong?”

“No, I just…wanted to talk to you.”

“Clara, I love you but please don’t call me anymore. I can’t handle it. Do you know I’ve been in therapy for the past four months? Therapy, Clara!”

“Why are you in therapy?”

“Because of you!” She yelled and I had to inch the phone away from my eardrum. “You blamed me for your parent’s death. Do you know what that did to me?”

What the…was she really turning the tragedy of the death of my parents around for me to feel sorry for her?

“I never blamed you, Addy. You’re the one who brought that up, I never, ever said that I blamed you. We went out to a movie, there’s nothing wrong with that. If I hadn’t been gone with you I’d probably be dead too.”

“Oh! So now you’re suicidal? You wanted to die with your parents and I denied you that?” she yelled and once again I had to pull the phone back.

“What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? I just wanted to talk to my friend, about a guy.”

“Well, I’m not your friend anymore, Clara, I can’t be. It’s too hard for me to hear your voice and know that we can never be friends like before.”

“Why can’t we? I wouldn’t have called you if I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“Please call Dee or someone else when you feel the need to unload on someone.”

Then she hung up.

It was the last straw, the final blow, the thingy that broke the camel’s back. The tears flowed and the sob raised and I bawled into my pillow. I hadn’t felt this abandoned and alone since my parents died. And I had absolutely no one to talk to about it.

But then, Eli was there. I knew he had dragged me into a Reverie and I tried to drag myself out. I pulled my eyelids up but I couldn’t be rid of it. I looked around and saw it was blank. We were nowhere. It was all white and nothing else.

“I thought I’d cheer you up by letting you pick the place,” he explained behind me. I turned to look at him. “Ah, Clara,” he said, seeing my state. His face fell. “I’m so sorry, I have so much to explain.”

“I don’t really want to hear it,” I answered quietly.

“I need you to,” he insisted. “You believe something that is a complete lie.”

“Eli, please don’t. Why do you feel like you have to torture me?”

“I’m not,” he assured and came close. He put his hands on the tops of my arms and spoke low. “Pick a place, anywhere you want.”

My mind immediately went to the night we’d spent in Pastor’s car at the docks. My cheeks burned at the memory and the fact that he knew why I chose this spot. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I love this place too.”

“Eli, what do you want?” I pulled from his grasp and went to stand at the edge, looking over the water. “I don’t think I can take much more tonight.”

“I need you to understand something.”

“What’s that?”

“That you are the most important person there is for me and I have never loved nor wanted anyone before I met you.”

“So,” I turned to look at him, “you were just going to marry her and not love her?”

“Don’t you remember what I said about our kind?” he answered slowly and came forward. “We don’t love. Angelina doesn’t love me,” he said and I hated her name coming out of his mouth. I grit my teeth. He huffed and rubbed his neck. “Sorry.” I shrugged so he went on. “I don’t love her. She doesn’t love me. It’s a game. My parents orchestrated our marriage when we were born. She has always had some fantasy about it and when I left, it just made it worse. She finds it all a game to play and, like my brother, tracks me from city to city. Sometimes she finds me, sometimes she doesn’t. Usually, I just head out of town as soon as I catch wind of her. But I have a dilemma this time.”

“What?”

“You.”

“Don’t let me stop you,” I said sulkily.

He inched closer.

“I blanked at your house when you told me and for that I’m sorry. I know what it must have looked like to you to say that to me and for me to not respond.” He inched even closer. “But I was so shocked that she’d found me so quickly. My brother must have tipped her off. And that she had talked to you... It wouldn’t be wise to provoke her and the idea of her speaking to you when I wasn’t there…made me sick with worry for you.” He inched the final inch. I was shivering in the cold, my arms crossed over my chest. Eli put his arms around me and slowly pulled me to him. He sighed when he realized I wasn’t going to fight him. It was as if my arms uncrossed themselves and wound around him. He looked down into my face. “Clara…you have to know how I feel about you by now. I’d never, ever, do anything to hurt you. The very thought of you in harms way makes me hurt. Please. I need you to believe me. Angelina is a hellish witch who cares for no one and nothing. Her sole want of me is to carry on our race and make her parents proud.”

“But what about the other one? They both lied? That’s what you’re saying?”

“Ah,” he said in understanding. “You must have also met my sister. Mara and Angelina travel together sometimes. She’s equally as unpleasant. I’m so sorry. I hoped we’d have more time before my past came to catch up with us.”

“Are you leaving?” I asked and was very unhappy with that thought. Even though I was still processing everything he was telling me.

“No,” he said vehemently. “Why do you always jump to the conclusion that I’m about to skip town?”

“Because I…” I sighed and pulled back some, twisting my ring. “I don’t…”

“I am not Tate,” he insisted. “Tate was an idiot who took for granted what he had. I have no intentions of doing that. That is, if you’ll still have me.”

“I don’t know. I’m so tired, Eli. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t trust anyone anymore.”

“You can trust me,” he said softly. “Tell me what I can do? I need to earn your trust, Clara. I want to.”

“I don’t know what you can do. I’m scared.”

“I know,” he said knowingly and I looked up to his face to see him. He was holding it back but I saw how hard he was straining. “Everything will be ok.”

“How?”

“Because I’m here and I’m not going to leave you. I could have left a hundred times already. I could have just used you and been on my way. I could have just left after Angelina and my sister showed up. But I’m here,” he insisted. “I’m here because I need to make sure you’re ok and safe. I
want
you
, Clara.”

He was right. Why go through all this trouble? Why put up with my ex and come talk to me if there was a chance he could leave. He wanted to be here. I turned my ring and looked at him. Could he be the guy my mom always told me about? A guy who loved me and would do anything for me? Who loved me for me?

He saw me rubbing my ring and moved my fingers away as he took over. His thumb caressed it lovingly and I felt my anger melting away.

“I’m not going anywhere. Even if you won’t have me, I’ll still be here to make sure you’re safe-“

I cut off his response with a swift hug around his neck. He pulled me up off the ground and held me tightly.

“I want you to stay.”

“You believe me?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” I breathed. “This is going to sound very cheesy, but please don’t hurt me. I don’t think I can take anymore heartache right now.”

“You have nothing to worry about on that front,” he promised and put me down gently. He took my face in his hands. For a few seconds we just stared at each other with silent understanding. We were announcing that we were together, a couple, in for the long haul, we were defining the relationship. I pushed up on my tip toes to kiss him quickly and was awed at how right it all felt. It was like my body knew something I didn’t. He pulled back slightly. “I’ve been given a gift, a chance at a new life with you. There’s nothing in the world worth risking that.”

I nodded and smiled when he laced both our hands together. His fingers lovingly caressing mine.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wish I had let you explain before but…your sister and …the other one were very convincing.”

“That’s what they’re made to be like,” he replied. I nodded again and yawned. He smiled sadly. “I’ll take you home so you can sleep.”

I felt a spike of unease about that. The thought of Eli alone or me alone for that matter was unnerving after everything that happened. Eli’s grip tightened on mine and I watched him closely.

“Does it ever get easier for you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never felt positive emotion before. Your negative emotions affect me just like everybody else’s but your positive emotions have ten times the effect on me.”

“Is that normal?”

“Yes,” he said cautiously, “but, usually when we pair up with someone, they are…” he looked uncomfortable, “the mates are…they’re evil, like us. The Devourer feeds off the despair and hatred of a human who matches their own and it makes them all the more powerful because they are never starved. I’ve never heard of a Devourer feeling positive emotion before. It seems you and I are one of a kind.”

I smiled despite what he had just said. The end part was pretty good.

“I kind of like that,” I mused softly.

“Me too,” he said against my forehead. “Home,” he said and then I was standing in my bedroom again.

Eleven

A
fter Eli left, I sat on my bed and contemplated the day. It was only about six o’clock by this point. Eli had promised that he’d come over, as planned, tonight for dinner. He left me so I could take a nap and think about everything that had happened. I was thinking alright…

About his tongue ring.

Was that shallow? After everything that happened I couldn’t get the feel of his tongue ring - a smooth little silver ball - as it moved against my tongue and lips, out of my head.

When he’d dropped me off in my room, he had kissed me for a very long time. He’d been afraid that I was done with him and needed assurance that I truly believed him and was going to wade through the craziness to make this work.

If I was completely honest, I was scared myself. I didn’t know what his sister and Angelina were up to or how to get rid of them. I didn’t know what to do about his brother either, but Eli assured me that he had no intentions of leaving me. We’d work this out somehow, and then he had kissed me silly. His hands on my lower back pressed and pulled to bring me close as I gripped his upper arms. When he had finally pulled back he said, “Do you feel that?”

I had no idea what he was talking about but he swiftly said his goodbyes and promised to see me in a couple hours.

I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes to accept the darkness. I knew I’d be alone when I closed my eyes and that was ok. If Eli was going to be coming to me and taking me to places when I closed my eyes at night, I’d have to start learning to take a nap or two.